Because if you’re scared, then you know it’s time to grow.

So you’re afraid of women, they make you tremble and stutter. You’re afraid of growing old and dying alone, you’re afraid no one will like you, that no one will be attracted to you. Scared of rejection. Scared that you’re not making enough money, scared you can’t support your family, scared that one day you’re going to sleep and never wake up. Just relax, breathe; we are human and this is what we feel. Let’s not even get into that, because most of us are here to learn how to get our dicks wet as many times as possible with the hottest women possible.

First thing is to stop complaining. We all know there are problems in the world, as there always has and will be, but what matters is how you handle it. Everyone has their own problems, whether they be a heroin addiction, STD’s, money troubles, marriage; think of something and someone in the world will have it. You either do something about it, or you shut the fuck up about it. Anything else is complaining, and once you start complaining, you’re just falling into a hole that no one will bother to pull you out of. Stop complaining, for the good of everyone around you, for the good of the world, but most importantly for yourself.

Everything you do should be for yourself first. You come first, nothing else. You can’t take care of someone unless you’ve taken care of yourself. Don’t do something if it’s to impress someone, or because you’re scared of someone, scared they’re going to leave, scared you’re going to be judged. Do it because you want to. You think this is selfish? Think about this; would you want to receive help from someone who’s life is falling apart, who can’t handle themselves in any social interaction, who does not have the respect of those around them, who has no resources to give you, who’s dressed like their mothers dress them? Even if you wanted to, if you can’t help yourself first, you can’t help anyone, so don’t even bother. If what you’re doing is just to impress women, you’re just going to let yourself and everyone you interact with down. We are animals and animals have intuition, they can sense when something is off or if the vibe is out of whack. You can’t fake something that you don’t have because eventually people will find out and not only will you be rejected, you’ll be cast off like an expired condom, not even good enough to have been used. This is the inner you, your character, so work on it.

Be physically fit. You don’t have to have abs or look like Adonis, but at least be able to physically carry women/children, or at least look like you can. It’s all about perception. Dress in clothes that fit, you are not a boy. Dress like you hang with attractive people, that you go to finer establishments. You’ll also just feel more confident. First impressions matter, and the way your body interacts with the world will be everyone’s first impression of you, so make your body work for you not against you.

Confidence. This comes when you are striving towards something, when you trust in yourself, that you trust yourself to carry out what you say. Confidence is knowing that you are a man that can make plans and actually follow through with them. It’s knowing you have control over your emotions and body even in a completely new or uncomfortable situation.

This subreddit is for people who are looking for help because they’ve been having trouble with women for most of their lives. It’s not a place to spew your frustrations and waste people’s time. It’s not a place to make your smart, witty comments at the expense of someone else just to make yourself feel better. There are some poison people making comments here that will fuck people up. These are people you have to ignore because they are losers. They are losers online, and they are losers in real life. When you have success in life, out come the people who will try to bring you down, who will try to poke holes in you, who hate to see people other than themselves taste success. Fuck these people, don’t allow them to drain your energy. Fuck ‘dem haters. Know how to distinguish discussion from worthless noise.

I wrote a bunch of stuff here about easing up on the porno, but I was alerted that this isn't nofap, and I don't want my post to get deleted again. Anyway, we're all perverts, just don't get carried away.

Physical presence. Body language. Clothes and style. These are all so fucking important that if you don’t think they are then you are either famous or rich, and even if you are, it’s still fucking important so just shut the fuck up if you think they’re not. Don’t be fat. It’s not hard to do. If it is harder for you than others then that is just the way it is. Don’t be fat if you want attractive women. It can and will stop you from having deep and meaningful relationships with some women because some people just don’t want to bother penetrating through all those layers of fat to get to the real you. I say some because there are always exceptions, but if you are striving for exceptions, just fuck all this and buy a lottery ticket every day. You want to project an air of “yes, we both know I can physically dominate you, but you don’t have to worry around me cause I’m not fucking crazy and I protect my friends and family, and if you choose to be a part of my life, I’ll protect you too. I’ll dominate you in bed and we’ll both be loving it.” This is the kind of stuff you should project when you interact with people in general. A cool fucking vibe. Attractive people like being with other attractive people, and the first step to being attractive is to have a fit body. Have an active lifestyle; go to the gym, take martial arts, eat healthy, and just overall take control of your diet like a man.

You have to understand that you are in total control of your own life. The only two things you truly own in this world are your body and your mind, so cultivate them like your life depended on it, because it literally does depend on it. You can keep making excuses, keep blaming others, keep complaining, but no one can take control of your mind to make you do the things you need to do. If you let your mind stagnate, your whole life will stagnate. Actually, it wouldn’t even stagnate. You’re either growing and improving, or you’re decaying and dying.

Keep getting out of your comfort zone because that is the only way that you will grow as a person. The more experiences you have, the wiser you become. That is why you come across some people who are older than you who behave in ways that make you want to punch them in their dumb face, and others that aren’t even old enough to drink but just have that look in their eye that signals “ya, I’ve been through some shit but here I am motherfucker.” It’s due to experiences. Take this for example; two men equal in age who grew up middle-class, one you leave in his mother’s basement and the other you plop down into a Brazilian favela. Assuming both will survive, after ten years, who will be hardened to survive the problems of life? Which of these men do you know can make it through struggles? Assuming both are good people, who are you going to go with in a zombie apocalypse? One year in that favela will beat ten years in a mother’s basement.

Be interested in shit too. Don’t know what a Brazilian favela is? Look it up. Don’t just brush away things you don’t know or don’t understand. If you really don’t care then that’s fine, but if you are just being lazy, then what else are you being lazy with in your life? Just be interested and enthusiastic with life. Be interested in people, listen to what they say, see what you can learn from each person you meet, see how they react towards your presence, because that’s how you’ll be able to gauge how you’re doing in life. Living a good life means living good with other people. We are social beings.

It’s all about experiences, so get as much as you can, no matter what stage you’re at in life. Once you stop experiencing, it means you’re dead.

Stop asking for help on specific situations. Every situation is completely different with a hundred different factors. If you keep asking for help with each new situation, you’re going to end up going crazy due to how stressful your life will become. Instead, focus on building the foundation of your own character so that you will be a man that knows he can handle any situation that comes up. In the end, you can depend only on yourself.

Don’t ever complain, don’t feel sorry for yourself, and keep your head up because you’re someone who doesn’t let life get you down. It’s okay to feel down sometimes, life is a rollercoaster. The point is that you have to try to always climb back up.

So back to women. Live your life to the fullest, experience as much as you can, be fearless, especially when interacting with others, and women will naturally be attracted to you. People will flock to you, will want to be within your circle, will want to be a part of your life. If you lead a shitty life, get ready to have all your fears come true. The point is, getting women is not the end. It should not be the sole purpose of your life, because if it is, you’re not going to be getting women. Who cares if she doesn’t text you back. Who cares if she doesn’t want to talk to you at the club that night just because she’s had ten chumps already try to get in her pants. Who cares if she flakes because she got too nervous. You’d never know the real reason behind most of the shit that happens. All you can do is control your own emotions and your own reactions. Don’t be phased, try to keep your eye on the big picture in life, not just whether or not you’re gonna smash pussy this weekend. But again, go for it. Don’t make excuses if you’re not smashing; be self-aware. If you’re making excuses before even approaching and talking to a girl, then you’re the pussy. Don’t be a pussy.

Here are some material. Each topic you can dive so deep that you can spend an entire lifetime on it and still not know everything about it, so don’t think these are black or white. Think for yourself too. Just take what you believe in and apply it. Be your own person.

Amy Cuddy on body language (TED Talk)

How to speak so people want to listen (TED Talk)

Olivia Fox Cabane on building charisma. She wrote a great book on it too.

Every individual is different, but in a way we are all the same. We are all afraid of the same things, we are all struggling through the same issues, but know we are all in this together. You are the only one in control of your own life. Know what you want, and go reach for it. No complaints, no excuses, no bullshit. You can do it.