Solo game as a beginner, good idea?

pualive · 2012-05-01T15:06:44+00:00

Short Answer: Gaming solo is easier. When most guys start in "the game" they develop a crutch. Usually it's either a wing or alcohol. This will distract you from focusing on self improvement and evenually pulling. Get selfish. So, if you really would like to start in the right direction, start with day game by yourself.

The other thing to remember is to boil everything down to its lowest common denominator. First, focus on approaching. I imagine your AA is quite high at this point, right? Well, we need to break that. I recently gave this advice on one of the forums i moderate: - Do daily affirmations to boost your self image - Do something cool with your hair ... or at least clean it up a little - Talk to at least 5 new people a day (not game, just chat) - Count to three in your head, and then start walking toward the woman you want to talk to.

Is this enough to get a start? I'll have a new video up today which shows an extremely simple approach. Look for it this evening:

pualive.com

frogma · 2012-05-01T17:06:25+00:00

IMO, day game is harder. It's harder to make shit happen in the first place (if you're not in an awesome situation, she's most likely not about to come home with you, so the best you can hope for is a number). It's fuckin great for conversations though, compared to night game. You get to converse with these girls who aren't drunk off their asses or trying to play any games with you. They're more "natural," so they interact with you like any normal person would with any other normal person.

Night game is a bit different because girls (and people in general) put up certain "shields." Hot girls are used to having guys cat-calling them and being perverts, so they try to protect themselves from that. And that's why the "indirect" approach (where you just start a normal, nonchalant conversation) is better for night game.

so fridays and saturdays are my sleep days. I tried myself in the day game but AA is quite overwhelming to the level of me not being able to keep up my normal confidence, but I'll keep trying, so I was thinking about moving into "Game's" more natural habitat.

Change all of that. Find a way to sleep at other times (don't give bullshit excuses for why you can't). Like someone else said, if you have huge AA problems during day game, start small by just asking for the time or some other innocuous shit. As you get more comfortable with it, start advancing into actual conversations.

how to start, how settle myself in, what to look for, and what to be wary off in the bar/pickup/club scene

IMO, gaming solo is much much easier (but that's because I'm used to it, and because most of my friends are mediocre at best in terms of getting with women -- they tend to hurt more than they help).

How to start: Go out (day or night) by yourself, and use situational openers. So if you're at Starbucks and the girl in front of you is ordering a certain drink, ask her why she likes that drink, or ask her to explain why it's good. Act like you're considering it (and you probably are already considering it, since most Starbucks drinks taste the same). She'll probably politely explain it to you (unless she's a huge bitch), and then if you want, you can develop a conversation from there. She might say "OMG the caramel flavor is amazing," and then you might want to tease her about how much she likes that, or maybe comment on the fact that you also love caramel flavor, or even totally disagree with her opinion. Each of those options will probably lead to more conversation between you two. Act like you want to find out more about this girl. So act like a "detective" gathering info. That'll help.

What to look for: I gauge girls on their receptivity. If you don't have much experience with it, I can't really teach you how to do it. But basically, if the girl looks like she's having a good time, and looks like she'd be open to conversation, and looks like someone who would mesh well with me, then I focus on her. If she's not that type of person, I usually try to find someone else who would be better for me before going back to that girl.

In terms of "being wary," I really couldn't tell you. Obviously you want to watch out for the club/bar skanks who go to the same place every night and fuck every other guy who's available. But I'll tell you that those girls aren't that common. They don't make up the majority, even at smaller bars. Even at smaller bars you'll find girls who are pretty promiscuous and shit, but they still have standards. At most clubs/bars, you'll see the same, assuming you actually talk to different people instead of making assumptions (though I just made an assumption, so whatever).

"Not been out in a bar like forever really." Dude, you're saying this as someone who was a bartender? Really? I've never been a bartender (though I've gone behind the bar to pour myself some drinks before), but I'm pretty surprised that you don't already understand some of the underlying social dynamics. Could you give some more detail about what you did as a bartender? Like how it applied to your personal life (if it did at all)?

jk147 · 2012-05-01T15:17:06+00:00

I actually started to notice how many guys do solo at the bars and clubs. Before I was just either checking out girls or hanging with friends when I am out, after thinking about solo gaming for awhile I started to see guys just standing solo for a long periods of time. Might give it a shot this weekend.

ikkake · 2012-05-01T18:03:26+00:00

There's nothing to worry about solo. No one you know is watching you, so you can do/try anything. It's definitely the best way to start, and you can figure out what works for YOU without any outside influences.

FnB · 2012-05-01T18:37:04+00:00

Your Attention!!

Thanks for the interesting post. You brought up some good points that are common among most. In many ways I can relate to you. In my experience I've learned that when we think like this we tend to indirectly put pressure on ourselves. Meeting someone should go at a natural pace. Just because in the past your experiences could have started slower then your perception of average doesn't mean that you have to address the situation on an uncomfortable track. (I'm not exclaiming that you are either).

Here are something's you can do:

Read up some literature on body language and try and internalize the material and apply it to yourself don't just mimic.

Also if you want to find a GOOD girl that's compatible with you then you should recheck where youre looking for a girl.

Regardless of looking for a connection or just numbers try and invest your time into activities.

Examples: try learning a little art terms and look for local parades, art shows, festivals, try rock climbing gyms and become a regular, if you're good at particular sport like soccer or something try looking for an inter mural team around you.

You can do this. Be unique and target what YOU like and what YOU want to do. You don't have to drag urself into a bar on Friday or Saturday to find any type of companionship. Even if you're scarred shitless and your mind is telling you things like "you could have done it better, or stop you don't look natural" that's just one of the 5 voices in your head telling you that shit; dont listen. Be bold and confident, ask girls about themselves, enjoy it and youll have opportunity to manipulate but it will come naturally. And If you're doing it organically then their intuition will catch that and make them feel comfortable.

Have fun, you're doing a good job, just the fact that you wrote on reddit about this tells you that you're changing. Small steps. Give us an update!

creativebaconmayhem · 2012-05-01T15:42:27+00:00

If you can find a guy who is on the same page, doing good PUA shit and trying to improve as well, you should have a wingman. I had a tough time getting solo game going at bars and clubs, unless I was in a place where I knew people. You should be working the room, and having someone you know around is comforting, and gives you social proof.

puppetry514 · 2012-05-01T18:27:35+00:00

When did I start a second account?

ikkake · 2012-05-01T18:40:25+00:00

Where are you from?

joffy · 2012-05-01T18:43:45+00:00

I love this concept of playing with another person to see can you get her to liking you, it's not even the sex that really excites me,

THIS IS HUGE. Thats a big part of inner game. And doing it for lulz and being outcome independent is what separates the pros from amateurs who drop out as soon as they can get an ltr.

it's the game on it's own, but I'm totally inexperienced in "talking to girls" as my previous relationships usually started more naturally and slowly, and like I said I don't go out even recently, as I pretty much do two jobs, so fridays and saturdays are my sleep days. I tried myself in the day game but AA is quite overwhelming to the level of me not being able to keep up my normal confidence, but I'll keep trying, so I was thinking about moving into "Game's" more natural habitat.

day game is harder, but if you do it enough and go through enough approaches to it you will find something that works better than other stuff, the key here - is to make sure you get some positive reinforcement mixed in with all the work that must go into it.

but I'll be honest, this isn't leaving the comfort zone for me, it feels like jumping the comfort cliff with pointy discomfort rocks at the bottom.

thats how you know you're doing it right.

So I'm looking for some hints for first few nights, how to start, how settle myself in, what to look for, and what to be wary off in the bar/pickup/club scene, to lower my anxiety a bit. I think the main thing I need to focus on is fighting actual "not been out in a bar like forever really" kind, but is gaming solo actually harder than in a group or with some support?

go to types of establishments you actually like being in. that are frequented by people you like at least somewhat. Talk TO EVERYONE (guys/girls/whoever)!!! Talk to the paid staff - they almost have to be nice to you. When you talk to bouncers make it your goal to improve their day with your words/presence. I personally like to avoid all alcohol as much as possible but it takes me a few solo trips before i start going to 100% sober. Ultimately your game improves MUCH more if you avoid alcohol.

joffy · 2012-05-01T19:06:16+00:00

[permanently deleted]

nrvale00 · 2012-05-01T19:16:17+00:00

Ha. Amen, brother. 36 here. All my friends are either 25 and in a different stage of life (and thus not interested in the same venues) or 40+ with kids (and thus not likely to go out).

Where do you live? I'd love to have a 30-something wingman in San Francisco.

AustralianMaverick · 2012-05-02T11:34:33+00:00

hey,

i think the best idea is to go out on your own, probably away from where you live.

I think some AA is based off people you know seeing you and judging. (to my thinking at least). just go out and have fun. dont drink to excess (or at all) and just ask dumb questions; one of mine last week was a question to 3 women about jack daniels.

easternone · 2012-05-01T17:49:11+00:00

What I usually do is go out with mates to a bar or club, so I've got them around but after a while, when I'm feeling social and in state, I'll break away and go and chat to someone, just to get the AA out of the way. The easiest thing is to crack a few lame jokes when there's an HB in earshot, usually gets you a nice in without direct approaching, and works really well in a bar setting. This then gives me an in, as well as an eject or the ability to make myself seem unavailable by going back to my group.

Title	Solo game as a beginner, good idea?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	51
Comments	51
Date	May 1, 2012 2:11 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/t1i9k/solo_game_as_a_beginner_good_idea/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/solo-game-as-a-beginner-good-idea.1332066 https://theredarchive.com/post/1332066

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