I've had a couple requests to post the tips I use to make it easier to split the bill for dates (or better yet, get drinks bought for you).

Note: these tips only apply to dating in the US and similar societies. Some other countries have very different dating expectations.

Why split the bill?

  • It's not strictly necessary, but I've noticed a strong correlation between first dates where the girl doesn't pick up any of the tab, and girls I don't want to see on a day 2, either because the date just didn't go that well, or because I'm not into the girl. It's not straight cause/effect, but getting a girl invested financially definitely helps to build attraction.
  • It's cheaper, you can do double the dates for the same price.
  • Buying girls drinks (and anything else) can be construed as DLV and kill attraction.

General Tips

  • Do not ever buy drinks for a girl before you've got her number. It will often kill her attraction to you. If you meet a girl out at a bar, and she asks you to buy her a drink, you should never do this. Depending on your style of game, you can use the direct "what did you lose your wallet?" or "why, are you broke?", or the less direct "how about you buy this round and I'll get the next one. I'm drinking [xxx]"
  • If a girl you just met says "shots?" she is usually trying to get you to buy. A good response to this would be "you're buying me a shot? (feign blushing/shock) alright I'll have a [blah]!" This basically always works unless the girl is a drink scammer, in which case you don't want to hang out with her anyway.
  • When I'm hanging out with a cool, small mixed set, and expect to hang out with them for a while, I'll sometimes offer to pick up a round for everyone. It gets everyone on your side, and they'll get the later rounds. If someone in a mixed set offers to buy a round and includes you, you should always take them up on it, and then buy a later round.
  • Low-cost first dates in general are better because it makes it more about you and her than the expense of the night. I like cheap drinks for a first date, but I also like zero-cost first dates like a hike or shopping, or drinking wine at my place.

The first date: drinks

  • When asking out a girl, don't say things like "I'm taking you out", instead say "meet me at [bar] tomorrow at [8]" or "let's go grab a drink tomorrow night"
  • Pick a bar that is chill, not too loud, and cheap. The places I like happen to frequently have great drink specials like $1 beers, $3 mixed drinks, etc.
  • Carry enough cash for the whole night. Do not open a tab.
  • This will be controversial, but I always arrive about 5 minutes early and buy a drink for me. I talk to the bartender or other folks at the bar and get to know the bartender's name.
  • When she arrives, I try not to be right at the bar, so that she has to walk over and buy her own drink.
  • Finish your drink after her. Some girls, especially the ones who are already really attracted to you, will then immediately buy the next round.
  • If she is finished with her drink, and doesn't immediately offer to get the next round, stand up and say "I'll get this round, what are you drinking."
  • Then on the next drink, make sure you finish your drink last, and she should automatically offer to buy the next round. If she doesn't, just keep talking until she does. Don't play with your empty drink or draw attention to it. If she still hasn't offered after a few minutes, or is awkwardly staring at her empty glass, you can either just buy the next round, or be assertive and say "your round, I'm having [xxx]" (smile) or "wow I'm really thirsty!" with a knowing very non-subtle stare at your empty glasses.
  • Mentioning whose round it is, or asking for a drink, should be totally casual and matter-of-fact. You don't want to leave her with the impression that it was an awkward thing or (much worse) that you're poor.
  • If a girl buys all or most of the drinks on the first date, congratulations, she sees you as super high-value, and you're almost certainly in.
  • If the bar is one of those that only does tabs, like if you have table service, when the bill comes, you have two choices. You can just open the bill and pull out your credit card and say "shall we just chop it down the middle" at which point she'll pull out her card, or just suck it up and pick up the whole bill. At this point it's the end of the night (or part of the night) and you should have built enough attraction that picking up the tab won't be an attraction setback.

Sometimes, it's just pretty obvious that the girl doesn't want to buy drinks on the first date, and even the above techniques aren't working. This is usually a sign to me that she's not that into me, but I usually just suck it up in those cases and pick up the tab and press on.

Ironically, I've also noticed that the wealthiest women I date also have a higher correlation to expecting the tab to be picked up for them. The poor-ass ones almost always are cool with splitting the tab because they're so used to doing it with their friends.

Hope this helps some of you. I wouldn't get too hung up on the bill on the first date, building attraction and being cool will probably make this all a non-issue. However, at least in my experience, almost all of the best dates I've been on have been split tabs, so I have made it a habit of doing these things.

Feel free to chime in with your own tips or other feedback!