Starting to get discouraged

heckz · 2011-09-19T18:21:23+00:00

Have you tried day game and joining clubs/ activities? It's not all about bars especially in a small town. That said if you are unhappy where you live, it might be time to move.

kanji_sasahara · 2011-09-19T20:06:39+00:00

Sounds like you should move to a big city, or at least visit one with a friend, so you can try your luck over there.

LivelyRoyale · 2011-09-19T20:39:40+00:00

There is ALWAYS another place to go to. While it might not be the most economical choice to make at times, get in your car, drive, and get out of your comfort zone. Even if you have to drive an hour away, you'll not only continue growing your skills, you'll slowly develop in other parts of your life as well.

Chipper up~

giraffe_dance · 2011-09-20T03:45:34+00:00

Talk to more girls, don't be so selective. Talk to ugly girls. Talk to guys. I'm assuming you don't have a large social circle, or that social circle is relatively stagnant, and your friends generally don't meet new people.

And yes, "taking time off" to improve if things aren't going so well is a great idea. Just, don't really take time off, always be receptive to social interaction. Girls LOVE to feel like they were lucky to bump into a busy guy on his way to do fufilling, exciting, life-affirming things.

"Running game solo can be absolutely exhausting." <---- huge fallacy I made when starting out. Game SHOULD NOT be exhausting, UNLESS that's the approach you want to take.

Think of it like P90 (a stupid informercial on TV, you've probably seen it, if not google it) versus just doing a few situps, pullups, pushups and running a few miles every other day. Both will get you fairly fit, but the P90 promises to do it in a much shorter time frame.

I think the emphasis on Seddit is a shorter time frame. Which is ok, but especially to an AFC, you got to allow yourself time to meet people, maybe recharge, build up other aspects of your life etc. From the tone of your post you're letting your sexual frustration overwhelm other areas of your life. What about friendships? Enjoying fun things in your life? A fufilling job? Hobby? I don't want to turn this into r/Self but it's a big part of Seduction, having a life that girls want to be a part of.

To sum up, one of my favorite seduction advice I've seen, can't remember where, it was somewhere on Seddit: 1) Talk to girls 2) ???? 3) Profit. If you're not seeing results, that's ok, it REALLY is ok. You're being too result dependent. You want to fuck an amazing girl, but that's currently not happening. Talk to more girls, and build up your life, and find ways to deal with the frustration in a constructive way. For me, it's working out, lifting weights, running---and letting about my emotions sometimes. You maybe want to find some hobby or something. Sexual frustration, rejection takes its toil and I think it's really important for any AFC or RAFC or even a PUA in a dry spell to know how to effectively counteract and deal with it. Here's my post on that very topic, from a few days back.

Make sure it's constructive! I had a friend, a real PUA, he slept with over a 100 girls, only 25, and suddenly he found himself in a foreign country, didn't speak the language, and the expats around him didn't like him. He tried to sarge like a boss, but only ended up getting a couple 6 or 7's for half a year before finally getting a LTR to keep him afloat. The combination of sexual frustration, social ostracization and stress turned him into a real asshole sometimes. Don't be like him, find a postive way to deal with it.

LivelyRoyale · 2011-09-19T20:39:18+00:00

There is ALWAYS another place to go to. While it might not be the most economical choice to make at times, get in your car, drive, and get out of your comfort zone. Even if you have to drive an hour away, you'll not only continue growing your skills, you'll slowly develop in other parts of your life as well.

Chipper up~

RedErin · 2011-09-20T16:15:16+00:00

What the population of the town you're in?

dark180 · 2011-09-20T18:01:48+00:00

Hey man , I know exactly how you feel , 2 months back after a couple of dates and nights that led nowhere i started to get very discouraged. I stopped going out completely. I focused on working out and playing video games. Dont get me wrong i love doing both of these but i could only do it for like 3 weeks until it hit me :it was a Friday night , I was in front of my pc playing tf2 when i realized that, playing video games was a lame way to spend a friday night. And it got me thinking: why am I so upset? does that even make sense? is what i am doing right now going to fix it? I felt like you, like things were not going anywhere. I also realized that i was putting way too much value on the girls ( did i kiss them , did i get the number, what went wrong, what could i have done better) and lost sight of the big picture ( my big picture at least) is to become a better happier person, one that naturally attracts others. So that night i decided I am going out tonight, i dont give a shit about girls, i am going to have fun.

I went to one of my buddies place for a pregame and when i got there there where 3 hbs that i had never seen. As soon as i saw them my afc kicked back in and then i caught myself going into afc mode and thought to myself "Get out of your head, tonight you dong give a shit about girls , just go out and have fun, the world is here to entertain you!". It was like a hughe burden was lifted from my shoulders. I went in there with high energy and only pushed myself to do too things kino and good eye contact. Later that night i was getting huge IOI's from one of the girls but it turned out that was my buddies target ( my buddy is a hughe afc, and I could tell he was not going to get anywhere but bro's before hoes) so i backed off. I danced drank met new people and had a blast overall. The next morning my friend calls me and says that the other two hbs ( which happened to be twins) were really into me and also asked me why was i hitting on both of them (ooops, i didn't even realize i was, lol). I know what you guys are thinking but unfortunately these twins were not too keen on sharing so 1 had to do. So we go out next day on sat and k-close hbt7 (t for twin).

The next weekend i go out with the same group of friends and invite a friend which i had not seen in ages hbo8 (o for other). At the beginning i spent most of the time with hbo making her feel comfortable with my group of friends, lots of kino, eye contact and banter. We have been friends for more than 5 years and nothing had ever happened so i wasnt even thinking about her as a target.Later that night I asked hbo if she wanted to dance with me and she declined, I played it off as if nothing had happened grabbed hbt and pulled her to the dance floor. We started dancing and then making out in the middle of the dance floor. Later on that night i saw that hbo didnt look so happy so i asked her what was wrong and asked her if she wanted to leave. She said yes and proceeded to grab my hand and pulled me to the opposite side of the club where none of my friends could see me, and we started dancing ultimately kissing( dancing is my fav way to kiss close, u can just see it in their eyes when they are ready).

Wow i cant believe i just wrote that much: sorry if it feels like im trying to jack your thread but what i am trying to get is :

TL/DR: No good places to sarge or lack of girls is a bad excuse that you are making up. Get out of your head, stop seeking validation from girls, and just go out and have fun. Push yourself out of your comfort zone . If you stress too much on theory you are going to get in your head and fail, your biggest enemy, the only thing that is stopping you from getting what you want is yourself, just forget about it and have fun, you will see that when you are having fun the theory and all those useful tidbits of information will come in naturally.Have an abundance mentality. I had read about having an abundance mentality a bunch of times but never actually understood it until now, girls can def tell and they like it. We are all trying to improve ourselves here so never feel discouraged to share your thoughts.

you_require_moar · 2011-09-21T01:12:47+00:00

At the very bottom pickup is a numbers game. Move into the city.

rmbarnes · 2011-09-19T22:14:05+00:00

I wish I lived in a larger city

So move to a bigger city. Problem solved.

rmbarnes · 2011-09-19T22:14:31+00:00

I wish I lived in a larger city

So move to a bigger city. Problem solved.

Title	Starting to get discouraged
Author	ARealSocialRetard
Upvotes	5
Comments	17
Date	September 19, 2011 6:03 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/kkox1/starting_to_get_discouraged/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/starting-to-get-discouraged.1322689 https://theredarchive.com/post/1322689

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