The mindset shift: how to break that 'she's too hot for me' outlook?

the_number_2 · 2013-02-06T21:07:46+00:00

Reverse the thought process. I am a (very) smart guy; I use this to turn the tables on them. Instead of "will I be able to talk to them?", I approach with the attitude of "will THEY be able to keep up with ME?". Flip the responsibility in your mind on them and challenge them to get on your level.

caesarfecit · 2013-02-06T19:33:42+00:00

I have this problem sometimes, especially when I start vibing really well with a very attractive girl and I'm thinking "she is wayyy too into me, is she fucking with me or something?"

I think the key to realize is these few points:

The way you see yourself is almost always not the way other people see you. You remember yourself looking like crap, having an embarassing moment, getting brutally rejected. The person on the other end, doesn't see these things. And it cuts both ways. Hot girls are people too!
The right attitude is the equivalent of big boobs to women. You may not be a male model, but provided you play your cards right and take care of yourself, it doesn't matter. Studly looking guys can be chumps too.

I didn't really start to cure myself of this until I picked up a girl at my work who does some modelling on the side. And at first when she was giving me the lingering looks, I thought I was creeping her out or something. I tried to chat her up once and she was nice, but so reserved I thought I was definitely outta luck. It wasn't until she walked past me and one of my friends one day, shot me the look and my friend turned to me and went "dude, go chat that girl up, right now...she just shot you the "fuck me" look." And I just stood there for a sec, thought "derp", realized he was right, and proceeded to do just that. And of course, she was the quiet and shy type who just doesn't realize how intimidatingly hot she is (on the short side with a flawless bod, sharp features and big brown eyes).

Point is... picture your extremely hot girl hungover, having a fat day/period, and just finished being left by her bf for some ho. That's how she sees herself, you just see the goddess in front of you.

july25 · 2013-02-06T22:27:59+00:00

Gradual desensitization. The more you approach hot girls, the better you'll get at interacting with them. The level of hotness of girl that you'll feel entitled to will increase over time and with experience.

2013-02-07T02:45:25+00:00

Ask out the hottest girls you can find. Eventually realize that they're not really that different than any other girl, just much hotter.

ARealSocialIdiot · 2013-02-07T03:12:42+00:00

I've found that super hot girls have never had to learn to really work on their conversation skills. They could talk about the Kardashians all night and most guys would put up with it because they're hot.

Your problem is that you're focusing too much on their looks and not enough on other things. Instead of focusing on whether you're good enough for her, you should be asking yourself if you think she's good enough for you—if she's a boring conversationalist, how hard are you going to be willing to pretend you're interested in what she has to say? There comes a point of diminishing returns.

BeatBoxing_Abe · 2013-02-06T20:21:58+00:00

For me, not jerking off actually helps with this quite a bit. After about a week I start to see girls in a far more neutral light. That is to say, I still think hot ones are sexy as all hell but they are just girls and fat ones are unattractive but again, still just girls. It kind of levels everything out.

Another thing would be to get to know cute girls. The more time you spend with them the more you realize that they get nervous, sad, upset, heartbroken stressed just like everyone else.

Tyler talks about how you should not put girls on a pedestal, this definitely applies. Girls are girls. I hope something I said helps because I can definitly relate to this, it can be hard to be the funny outgoing you around attractive biddies

bk983 · 2013-02-06T20:50:29+00:00

my sticking point is that i don't really agree (based on experience) w/ the girls are girls, theyre all the same mentality.

an ugly chick's mindset couldn't be any more different from a hot one's. the ugly girls basically have to do a complete role reversal and are the ones hitting on guys since they'd get no attention otherwise. they will be immediately receptive to attention from virtually any guy.

hot girls, on the other hand, are constantly getting hit on. this guarantees that they will be way pickier (reject way more guys upfront), will be much more critical of your game and, due to lots of practice, will have much better game themselves.

obviously most girls fall somewhere in between those two scenarios. my issue is getting past the aforementioned knowledge on hot girls mindset when approaching them.

Title	The mindset shift: how to break that 'she's too hot for me' outlook?
Author	occupykony
Upvotes	1
Comments	15
Date	February 6, 2013 7:20 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/180joa/the_mindset_shift_how_to_break_that_shes_too_hot/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/the-mindset-shift-how-to-break-that-shes-too-hot.1346948 https://theredarchive.com/post/1346948

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