The Problem With Being "Too Nice"

FloridaHeat · 2013-02-08T06:13:26+00:00

Am I the only one that is kind to others out of the goodness of my heart? I don't do it to be accepted or liked, I do it because I like to, and that is WHY i'm liked and accepted.

joazito · 2013-02-08T13:28:18+00:00

Another drawback to being “too nice” is that people often perceive that as a sign of weakness and an opportunity to take advantage of you.

Yep and they'll manipulate you to death.

2013-02-08T15:47:13+00:00

The book no more mr, nice guy highlights what you said and elaborates on them.

Basically, nice guys do nice things with a covert expectation that something good will happen if they do the nice thing for others, and when that doesn't happen, nice guys turn to passive aggression because they feel like the world owes them something for being so nice. Rather than going out and getting and asking for what they want, nice guys constantly do things to please others and wait for the thing they want to come. Nice guys avoid confrontation, arguments, for the same reason. Nice guys do don't want to say no. I was a typical bad type of nice guy for a long time so I know what that's like.

A lot of pua material is related to getting guys out of the nice guy rut. Going up to a girl and say hi is getting what you want. Be that "friend" and passively let the girl treat you however you want and do whatever it takes to please her hoping that one day she will return the favor and sleep with you, is being the "nice guy" living life with these covert expectation that do nice things = nice things happen to you.

and I have to say, being that "nice guy" hoping that your niceness will result in some kind of reward is actually being an asshole because your not being honest to the girl you are with.

push_pop · 2013-02-08T10:42:07+00:00

I see this so much, and I am on the complete other end of the spectrum. I can give so few fucks about other people that it would make your head spin. I'm much more curious how to get more involved/ be nicer to people without (feeling like I'm) losing social value. Maybe I'm just an asshole, but I don't think it's that uncommon...

Methaxetamine · 2013-02-08T18:10:15+00:00

Did anyone not know this? Was this eye opening for anybody? yawn

Title	The Problem With Being "Too Nice"
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	79
Comments	44
Date	February 8, 2013 4:45 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1844g2/the_problem_with_being_too_nice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/the-problem-with-being-too-nice.1347092 https://theredarchive.com/post/1347092

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