This isn’t for me

jo3lphillips · 2020-07-23T01:18:16+00:00

Victim mentality never helped anyone on this ... get up and get working

throwawaygang21 · 2020-07-23T00:49:55+00:00

early 30's aint shit dude, be thankful that you're a guy. Women have no issues hooking up with men of any age as long as you take care of yourself. Most of the Marvel movie actors are in their 40's, I've seen a 50 year old dude on tiktok that has 18 - 30 year olds throwing themselves at him in his comment section.

I'm not saying you'll have the same access to women that they do, but being a man in his 30's is the furthest thing from an issue when it comes to dating. Get your shit together and get out there dude. Look at rappers, movie actors, etc. There are so many older men, ugly men, and fat men that have women, but you RARELY see fat, ugly, or old women with attractive young men. Again, be thankful that you're a guy and improve yourself in every way that you can.

Visualize_ · 2020-07-23T00:39:46+00:00

Don't use your current situation as a current limiting belief. Although I think it's sometimes a good thing just to take a few months to sort your shit out before trying to get a girlfriend because it reduces distraction from setting good habits. But I wouldn't let that stop you from talking to women or just developing social skills in general.

Not confident? Read a book about confidence and go out and apply the lessons from there (the application of the lessons from the book is arguably more important than the book itself). Shit job? Maybe it's time to go back to school, start networking, or maybe just start applying to new jobs if you already have the qualifications. Shit body? Time to start dieting and hitting the gym, or eating a shit ton and going to the gym if you are skinny. Yeah your life isn't magically going to change overnight and this shit is a journey but you need to start now because the sooner you start envisioning the life you want and executing to reach that, the sooner you will get there. But loving yourself can actually happen as soon as today. Maybe you don't truly believe it until a little later, but when you start changing how you think, your attitude shifts quicker than you think.

Overall I think it's good to understand areas in life you can improve in, but don't view it like you are failing because you aren't at a certain level yet in each place. Everyone's journey is different, whether that's the path or pace. Start believing in yourself today because you are and if you actually take action, you will be surprised how much can change in just a year

2020-07-23T02:10:26+00:00

Peak physical attractiveness for men is around 35 according to some article from a few years back. Once you get to 30, women will find you more mature. 30 was an incredible year.

Exercise. Do some shit you love. You'll get a woman. Dont make your plan to be a womanizer... no one is really happy with that because they get jaded and hate themselves more than you anyhow.

GrandMasterB19 · 2020-07-23T04:14:57+00:00

The key to loving yourself is transforming yourself into a man that you would be proud of. You have to make yourself into the type of man you would admire. Only then will you feel free enough to love yourself.

This is what most guys get wrong. They try to figure out what type of man a girl would admire so they can feign that identity for her. Girls want a guy who admires himself first. She won't believe in you if you don't believe in yourself first.

Kenic_In_MD · 2020-07-23T01:26:08+00:00

30s is still way young, if anything your options increase when you're this age because typically men have a form of income, a place to call home and a car at the bare minimum (typically). You have already stated your problems OP, no better time then now to work on them. I'm not gonna participate in a pity party for you though, you know what you need to do and you have an action plan of accomplishing what needs to be done.

In your case your plan is simple, eat healthier, work out. Get some training and study more to get a better job. Nothing good in life is easy.

aaronie2g2 · 2020-07-23T02:13:19+00:00

Just start talking to women say hello that’s a start. At least 1-2 of ten will say will say yes to a date. All they can say is no. Then you move on to the next one. Give out your number to ladies they will call. If not oh darn it’s a numbers game. The more you put yourself out there the better the chance of making something happen. Lastly quit wacking off you get lazy and no drive to get what you need.

2020-07-23T01:38:10+00:00

That sucks, man. What do you like about about yourself? What's the smallest thing you can do that'll make you like yourself little better?

LevelUp84 · 2020-07-23T04:49:38+00:00

Dude 30s to 50s are peak for men, especially if you take care of your self.

You gotta get to work. Start with easy shit. Gym after work was life changing for me. I used to get on reddit and waste my evenings. Now I've lost 100 pounds. Great for socializing especially if you like basketball.

As for work, I did accounts payable and made it a goal to get to corporate by eoy 2018. I had that job by summer 2018.

Now unless you got celebrity money you are stuck with your face. You can control your body fat level, life experiences, clothes, haircut, smell, etc.

Don't give up man, it doesn't get better if you do that.

tresslessone · 2020-07-23T05:23:15+00:00

Bro, I’m 37 and have never gotten as much female attention as I am now. Your thirties are like your twenties but with more mental clarity, experience, money and an established career.

As a man in your early thirties, you are only just entering your prime! Embrace your life, get in shape and you will drown in pussy.

HeavenPiercingMan · 2020-07-23T02:50:32+00:00

To add towards what people are saying here: ignore the all the PUA purveyors and their aggressive marketing that tries to guilt you or will make you hate yourself because you're not ready for it but they insult your for that, or worse, turn you into a redpiller. Focus on the self improvement stuff so that you can be a better yourself just for yourself. THAT is the more pressing concern now.

MagicGnome97 · 2020-07-23T02:57:17+00:00

[permanently deleted]

notalentnodirection · 2020-07-23T04:07:06+00:00

“Hello me, I would like to give myself some advice.

I know I have things I need to work on. I am not happy with my body, the solution is to work on what I can change and learn to be ok with what I cannot change. Professionally there’s nowhere to go but up, this will be exhausting and the road ahead is uncertain but I will be happier with a more fulfilling career. These changes will take time, but the sooner I start the sooner I will achieve my goals.”

^{^} a paraphrased conversation I had with myself at 26.
Here’s the dose of reality, those things won’t make you happy. And those things aren’t stopping you from being happy.

I’m in my early 30s now. I have a college education and I’m doing better professionally. My body....well it’s a work in progress. But the work is progressing.

What stops me from being happy is me and the crazy self defeating bullshit my brain does.

“How do you fix that?” Glad you asked! Therapy! For the folks listening at home I’ll say it again, therapy!

For the same reasons you take your dog to the vet, or your computer to the IT guy, or go to a doctor when your leg falls off you need to see a therapist or counselor when you’re not happy for extended periods of time. Sure you can fix these things by yourself but the professionals are better at it than you are. They went to school for it and proved to a bunch of other people, who also went to school for it, that they are good at it.

No money? Look online for resources for low income options. Check out local universities, they might have something cheaper.

Edit: what luck

The_Gamertagless · 2020-07-23T05:31:12+00:00

A real woman will be naturally mature enough to want a stable man, even if that means he's older. Look at r/AgeGapRelationship and see their success, it just benefits people more than most would think.

kitylou · 2020-07-23T06:23:20+00:00

r/getmotivated r/decidingtobebetter Be positive, work on yourself and you’ll get there

gucciwillis · 2020-07-23T06:53:34+00:00

It’s not about your position in life, it’s about your trajectory. Are you improving every day? If you’re not you should start to worry, life ends one day. Accepting yourself how you are and saying you’re good enough is a poor choice, you should always strive to be better than yesterday.

2020-07-23T07:13:51+00:00

Learn to play to your strengths, my friend. A shit job and a shit body are your weaknesses, but what are your strengths? With the online mediums there is a market for everybody, your strength should be visible in an appropriate medium. A good body person would score on instagram, a man with a good job can score on linkedin. Find your medium and compete there.

Just ensure when you reach your 30s, not all(health, job and relationship) are in shit.

chadady · 2020-07-23T07:25:57+00:00

Then in the future, in your 30s you will see a beautiful and good women and wonder whether you might have had a chance with her, if you started improving yourself now, rather than giving up.

And believe me all that loving yourself thing is bullshit, You can never love yourself if you keep saying "I am great,I love myself". But if keep trying and improving even if you fail, you start loving yourself and feel better about yourself even if you don't want to.

Bulucbasci · 2020-07-23T07:54:03+00:00

Go workout with some recommended routine calisthenic off r/bodyweightfitness and you will be set in no time. Look good, feel good.

redditSucksNow2020 · 2020-07-23T08:36:44+00:00

Get a tefl, move to Southeast Asia, teach English, and fuck until your dick falls off. You're welcome.

Milkpowder44 · 2020-07-23T09:20:36+00:00

You need to git up, git out and git something

Don't let the days of your life pass by

You need to git up, git out and git something

Don't spend all your time trying to get high

You need git up, git out and git something

How will you make it if you never even try?

You need to git up, git out and git something

'Cause you and I got to do for you and I

2020-07-23T12:33:02+00:00

I'm early 30s with a great job and in great shape. I was pretty much a fat bum when I was 21. Now I'm dating girls in their 20s so you really have no excuse.

RaffNFreddy · 2020-07-23T13:54:50+00:00

Money + Job will not magically get you women. I know plenty of dufus guys who make shit, work in lame ass jobs, and don’t have issues with women. It’s all mental.

Elementix · 2020-07-23T04:40:50+00:00

It's not about how you look. Ever see a gorgeous woman with a really ugly or fat dude? Yea...

There are 4 pillars of attraction: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual. Wanna take a guess at which one is considered the most important out of all of them??

Remember this:

For men, Logic = Emotion - if things are good, I feel good.

For women, Emotion = Logic - if I feel good, things are good.

A woman wants to continue to feel good, so she continues to want to be around what's invoking that emotion.

It doesn't matter what you look like...not fully. Be somewhat attractive, and know that not everyone is attracted to the same thing.

It is LITERALLY almost all about emotions with women.

Once you fully understand that, then it's all about practice and it's a numbers game.

Remember, your first 5 approaches don't count, so go ahead and knock them out ASAP.

It ALWAYS starts with attraction. Dating apps focus solely on physical, but that's only 25% of attraction. To really make things happen, you absolutely MUST create that connection with her...unless she's a slut that just opens up for any guy that comes along...stay away from that...

Stimulate her mind with interesting conversation.

Make her feel good...that doesn't mean you just give her compliments about her physical appearance. You need to stand out from every other guy that approaches her. Ask yourself how you can do that. Read up or watch some videos on Keno as well.

Good luck my friend!

2020-07-23T06:15:26+00:00

"And even by then I’ll be early 30s so my options will be even slimmer."

Lies! A man is just starting to reach the peak of his sexual market value in his 30's and 40's. You really need to pull your head out and educate yourself. For a woman it might be game over in her mid 30's because her sexual market value is 100% determined by her youth and beauty.

You definitely can't be an overweight slob but for a man status matters way more than his looks. That's why game is 90% about displaying value and social proof. A woman instinctively goes for the highest value man she can get because she needs to know that whatever man she mates with can provide for her and her children. Even if she doesn't know that this is why she is attracted to you this is what she is hardwired to find most attractive in a man.

I am guessing that you are probably around 25 now. At that age its a wonder that you even know how to wipe your own ass so don't beat yourself up because you haven't become Dan Bilzerian yet.

My prescription for you is this:

Start hitting the gym now and lift weights.
Start taking MMA. You need confidence STAT.
Read these books. "Rich Dad Poor Dad," "Think and Grow Rich," "The Richest Man in Babylon," "Atomic Habits," "The Slight Edge." If I had read these books in my 20's I would be a multi millionaire if not a billionaire now.
If as you say you have a shitty job, go to trade school. Electricians and plumbers can make over 100k a year in a lot of areas. And it costs less time and money to get started than going to a 4 year college. If you read the books I told you to then you will have a good grasp on how to manage your money and by the time you are in your mid 30's you could easily be financially free if not downright wealthy.

A wealthy man in his mid 30's, or even mid to late 40's who is in reasonable shape can get any woman he wants, especially if you stay in the community and learn game.

pianovirgin69 · 2020-07-23T06:17:13+00:00

Jesus will help you

Jedimester · 2020-07-23T09:27:47+00:00

Limiting beliefs. Look up what limiting beliefs are.

NicVang · 2020-07-30T05:03:51+00:00

Invest in mentors and get going man! Your losing time! DM if you actually want help! Wish you the best! NOW TAKE ACTION!

Andrew9th · 2020-07-23T05:05:18+00:00

Lisyen yo jocko willink podcast, he'll help u a lot.

Title	This isn’t for me
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	41
Comments	51
Date	July 22, 2020 11:59 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/hw58bb/this_isnt_for_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/this-isnt-for-me.1296596 https://theredarchive.com/post/1296596

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