I’ve approached hundreds of women all around the world.
I’ve been rejected more times than I care to remember. But I’ve also had mind-blowing experiences that most men can only dream of.
While tactics are important (and I go over a lot of them in my recent book), mental frameworks help even more.
These are the 3 most important mindsets that lead to results when meeting women.
At the end, I’ve included a bonus that’s a bit controversial but highly important. Without it, you’ll always get suboptimal results.
#1 Assume a positive outcome
Assume that she’s rooting for you.
Most guys do the opposite. They worry they’ll bother her. They fear she’ll think he’s creepy. Basically, they approach with the worst possible outcome top of mind.
Because of this, they come off stiff.
And they carry this same fear and pessimism into their dates. That’s why they are afraid to escalate.
A better route: always interpret the world in a positive way. This has a huge impact not only in your actions, but also the way you carry yourself. It indicates self-confidence. It signals you’re a winner. And a winner is what she wants inside her (heart, of course).
So whatever a girl says or does, assume it’s because she likes you.
(Pro-tip: this doesn’t just apply to game, women, and relationships. Carry that sort of optimism into all areas of your life, and watch it improve.)
#2 Approach with the intention of growth
Always aim to improve.
Don’t approach just to get laid. Instead, realize you are building skills, developing characteristics of the kind of man who gets laid easily.
This greatly takes the pressure off of any single outcome. Instead, you see each interaction in a better, long-term context.
Practically speaking, focus on improving just one behavior, trait, or skill.
Realize that you are approaching this girl to develop the attitude, skills, and character you’ll need to pull a different girl in 6 months.
#3 Accept responsibility for making things happen
You approached her.
It’s your job to:
- Make her comfortable in the first few seconds
- Demonstrate value
- Make the interaction man-to-woman
- Escalate physically, logistically, verbally, and emotionally.
If you’re stuck on what all this means, simply take responsibility to spike her emotions and create a memorable experience
BONUS: Think you’re better than the girl you are talking to
This sounds condescending. But here’s the truth.
Women desire high status men.
When you put her on a pedestal or even act like her equal, she has no reason to be attracted to you.
You are better served being slightly overconfident rather than humble.
The key is to display higher status behaviors rather than just verbalize self-belief about your own worth.
Women respond to actions and attitudes more than words. Of course, confidence based on competence and courage is better than shallow fake confidence.
Adopt the frame of being a teacher and authority figure. You are her key to better understanding the world.
###
When you carry these mindsets into the interaction, tactics matter less.
But when you are missing the mindsets, even the best tactics will fall apart.
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