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[–]PompousSchmuck 12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Build rapport - sometimes I play with them a game where we give each other 2 facts about ourselves - one true, one false - trying to impress/break expectations/build rapport. Each one is supposed to guess what is true and what is false. We go till five and winner asks the loser out/decides whats next.
Its fun, its different, it makes her commit and it gets you to know if shes boring or not. Plenty of ways to turn it flirty. Remember, you filter her too, you both get to know each other quickly even before you get her number. But when the game ends its a make or break - get a number and out of the frikking app.
[–]loofyd 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
can you post a sample or even a dummy conversation ?
DM if that feels better
[–]PompousSchmuck 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I start off by not qualifying myself to women in my bio. I know my worth, and state it as such. I give only the bare minimum - I'm in very good shape, have a good job, live in a good location.
When I match, I offer them to play a game to get to know each other with a prize of our choice. If I win, I ask for a number - if I loose, I suggest them bragging rights on our first date and ask them for their number.
I go first, and usually take the lead. If I sense things go slowly/she looses interest I let go or give one of the questions as a freebie - I give 2 truths so she cannot loose. Then I close for the number as stated above.
I don't lie about the facts, and I try to give interesting ones/things you'd never guess to break monotony/boringness. Depends on the girl and my availability, but it works better than boring back and forth, and I've had really funny things mentioned to me. Usually can hook them better than if it was a boring ass conversation, and the competitiveness is also a plus, because it's something she can participate in and have a fair chance of beating me at. And it's silly.
[–]Yisusbe 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That sounds cool
[–]themardyage 21 points22 points23 points 5 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
I say you went to hey let’s get a drink way too soon. You’re a complete stranger still. Next time try to get a conversation going, crack some jokes, find out more about her. Maybe ask and see if she wants to FaceTime or something before asking her to get drinks. She’s got 100s of dude saying what you said to her. Try to stand out! Good luck!
[–]PaqS18 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
Yep! Thought so too, just I don’t like talking over tinder or whatever, I want to meet in person and there have a talk. I got a date with another woman in 8 sentences shared and it was fun and ended up with her in bed.
Do you think I can still fix this?
[–]themardyage 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Every woman is different no doubt. This girl is probably more shy and reserved then the one banged after 8 sentences she was out there having hot girl summer. I say shoot her another message what do you have to lose?
[–]PaqS18 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, she looks also more reserved on her pictures! Yeah I’m gonna shoot her another message, maybe where she studies or something idk
[–]whomeverIwishtobe 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link
Asking where she studies is a bit of a downer. To spice it up be like “you’re an english major aren’t you? You give me deep thinker vibes”
Something that’s an assumption and less bland than just straight up asking, she can then elaborate and you have something to talk about.
Honestly though I avoid those kinds of questions. I prefer talking about hobbies, interests, good movies or shows I recently or they recently watched, where they are from or live in the city. That helps with logistics and can lead to further discussion in a million ways.
Ex:
her: oh I live in koreatown
Response 1: no way I live around there too off blah blah blah
Response 2: oh I love korean food I wanna learn how to make it I’m really into cooking
Response 3: do you eat korean BBQ constantly? i know I would lol
See what I mean, and now you can lead any of those threads into a date in their own way, meeting in your shared neighborhood, cooking at home, or going for korean BBQ; which if you’re doing it right, will involve drinks anyway!
[–]ImHumanBeepBoopBeep 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
you’re an english major aren’t you? You give me deep thinker vibes”
LOL. 😳Too cheesy. I would ghost instantly.
[–]whomeverIwishtobe 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Funny because that’s actually a line women have used on me before! Lmfao 😂
Edit: I am an english major tho, so maybe that’s why it worked?
[–]ImHumanBeepBoopBeep 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's probably because it was an attractive woman.
[–]ImHumanBeepBoopBeep 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Hey English major, I'm curious.
I'm back in college, 2 years in and trying to decide a new major. My cumGPA for all my English courses is 4.2 because I love writing. I feel like I'm pretty good at it but I was trying to go into psychology because I am more interested in helping people. Unfortunately, I don't think I'll ever be able to get math skills up to calculus, which is required. I'm considering doing an English major but it doesn't seem pragmatic based on the career potential. I love writing and I love reading the things I like but I'm incredibly uninterested in doing critical analysis of classic works or even current works. I'm a musician so I'm a lyrical poet but I otherwise have no interest in reading poetry. If I did an English major would I have to do all of these types of courses or could I focus in some specific writing field? If you don't mind my asking ; what career field did you end up in with your English degree ?
Just because it happens for one person doesn't mean it's going to happen all the time. When I was dating online, I would definitely want to talk to the person either over the phone or video chat before I met them in person in public. I think you're one experience is getting you ahead of yourself. Very few women want to meet a person in real life after eight sentences.
[–]wallynext 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
She literally said: “yeah sure”... if that was the problem she would have no problem saying that it was too soon
[–]Neat_Current7411 7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Bro, try not to take everything as your fault. You may have done everything correct and still got rejected. Don't take it personally. After all, you don't have to be PERFECT to get a girl, right? Sometimes the person on the other side isn't right for you(or for anyone else, that's why they are single maybe).
[–]PaqS18 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
She was kinda young yeah.
[–]ImHumanBeepBoopBeep 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Maybe not old enough to drink?
Sometimes the person on the other side isn't right for you(or for anyone else, that's why they are single maybe).
more guys need to know this
[–]Yisusbe 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
How do you quote the message like that? Do you have to copy the message and then paste the part you want to quote and add (>)? I'm asking to know if there's a better way than that.
[–]loofyd 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If you're on phone, add the (>) and paste the entire paragraph after it
If you're on PC, there's an option to quote an entire paragraph with a single click in the fancy pants editor
[–]No_Ad_9717 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Gotta get that hamster wheel spinning in her head. Need to build a bit more intrigue with a female. Push/pull her
[–]PaqS18 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yeah. Normally I use way more flirty stuff but then sometimes the girl only wants to talk and keep talking, liking attention I guess. So I’m wasting so much time and effort which I’m like… better get straight to the point, but then again could be too fast etc like you said.
[–]No_Ad_9717 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Be on your purpose man. We can’t always answer a girl the second she responds. Every guy does that, we want to be different than them. Build flirty attraction with her. I’ve done my best when I treat 10’s as if they are 6’s. When you have a true 10 it’s hard as hell to do, but trust me… This is the way
[–]Woi_oi 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
“Hey, you are cool!” You can do better than that champ. She got a hundred other guys running the same convo brother, switch it up. Also went in hella quick with the drinks. Just ask anything, find out who you’re about to meet up with first lol.
Well that sentence works really good hahah. Everytime I send that I get a response. What’d you suggest then?
[–]Woi_oi 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Really? Lmao. It’s friendly ig, but it’s pretty lame… it doesn’t exactly ooze smoothness (No offence). It’s also very generic, you should try to pick up something unique about her/her profile and strike up a conversation that way, anything from her photos or bio that you can comment on, the convos will flow easier that way. If she airs you after that then unmatch and move on.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This was the most boring conversation I’ve read in my life
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
you didn’t even bother to get to know her a tiny bit before asking her out. sketchy/desperate vibes.
[–]PaqS18 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Yeah. I just don’t want to waste too much time on talking on internet. I want to meet in person lol
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
personally i won’t waste my time getting ready and driving to meet up with them until i get to know them at least a little bit via chat.
[–]Swe3tTart 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Every time I have met a dude that asks me out like this has ended up being a clingy nut job. I agree that you should meet asap, but at least have a conversation first
Thanks! What’d you think would be a good follow up question after where do you come from?
[–]Swe3tTart 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Asking about hobbies/ music/ pets are a few options, that way you can find out if you like any of the same things
[–]sorewamoji 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
u didnt do anything wrong in my opinion , i've had tinder dates before that only consisted of a small 2 min conversation before we agreed to meet
maybe she will still reply?
[–]PaqS18 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Maybe! It’s been 2 days though. Wondering If I should shoot another message or if that’s too desperate lol haha
[–]sorewamoji 5 years ago [recovered] (6 children) | Copy Link
dont listen to people telling u its sketchy and or desperate to try to immediately meet a tinder match , i'm also not into small talking over a dating app ..i really prefer to just meet over a drink / a joint and this has worked out for me more than a couple of times tho i can also confirm that about 70% of matches dont answer if u want to meet that same day / week
i'm guessing she felt ready to meet but then changed her mind? there's more than a 1000 reasons why this could be the case and i wouldnt take it personally at all
if i were u i'd wait a couple of days and then send her a "u still down?"
[–]PaqS18 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Yeah , I mean I normally want to know quite quickly if she’s actually down to meet up cause if the girl wants to talk for 3 weeks over a fucking dating app I’m not interested 😂
[–]sorewamoji 5 years ago [recovered] (4 children) | Copy Link
exactly , i feel like most people are on tinder to just swipe and talk for valiadtion and / or ego boost
long conversations before meeting can be nice aswell but to my expirience this feels awkward in most cases
[–]PaqS18 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Yeah. i’m the same
[–]sorewamoji 5 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
the longer the conversation, the bigger the expectations are and it really sucks to have a boring date after talking about everything for 2 -3 weeks i can confirm
[–]PompousSchmuck 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
How good do you look?
I think that one full fluent convo is enough to move to phone\actual fucking date. But I have not managed to get someone to meet me within 2 minutes.. and I am by no means ugly.
[–]sorewamoji1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
i look ok i think but i get by no means that kind of match any week , or any month .. i've been using tinder on/off since 2017 and since that time i've had maybe 5 matches in total who were down to chill that same day
[–]Legitimate-Lies 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
I probably would’ve had a better convo but tinder is a poor way to pick up women. Statistically only like 16% of people actually meet on tinder
[–]PaqS18 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Yeah. Agreed. I also use it a lot to just meme around, and not really interested, only when I match a really beautiful girl I try to actually catch a date.
[–]Legitimate-Lies 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You’re just fighting against the current. I use it too but you should meet people in person
[–]PaqS18 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Should work on that more yes..
[–]Number_Four4 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
What’s a better way than Tinder? What makes up the rest of the %
[–]Legitimate-Lies 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
In person is the best way
[–]Number_Four4 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thanks for the response :)
[–]Legitimate-Lies 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The rest of the percentage are people who don’t meet
[–]PoPoChao[🍰] 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Gotta get a little interest with a girl first. Talk about their life. Likes dislikes a little. Then you kinda shove the lets grab a drink in there. Otherwise they’ll get scared unless they’re crazy. You gotta wine and dine them via text a little before wining and dining them in person
[–]conker1264 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Online dating apps are like that. Just had 2 days of texting this girl, she sent me some nudes even. I didn't ask, she just sent me them. Asked for a date and was ghosted. I don't get it.
[–]Woi_oi 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
If she’s sending you nudes like that, to hell with the date homie, to the sheets!
[–]conker1264 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Tried that too, still ghosted
[–]bigbootynopussy 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
she probably got paranoid or anxious. You didnt talk to her long enough for her to feel comfortable enough to meet you.
[–]OFaligomulka 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I personally wouldn’t take the time to go on a date with someone unless I’ve felt SOME kind of connection/spark first. I know others hate talking on these sites, but for me, some kind of chat needs to happen before I decide if this person is worth going to the effort of a date for lol In saying that, it doesn’t have to be shit loads of convo, but definitely something to make me WANT to go 🙌 Good luck!! Xx
[–]XtremePeace 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No emotional connection. It's ok be very quick but you need to set a very strong and immediate basis of attraction + connection. Also check the communication skills and be direct and clear, as it seemd like on your invitation you meant it to be right when you said it, only to ask "next week" almost like you purposefully wanted to diss her.
[–]double_prong 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
She told you exactly where you went wrong by not replying to the bad message. You did fine until the end.
You asked her to semi-commit to a whole week and she has no idea what boring shit you have planned. It also sounds desperate, like you're going to arrange your schedule around her life.
Next time, ask her to a specific time and place. Sell the place some to make it sound fun.
The guys who said you asked her out early are just wrong, she gave you a strong yes. They have the top 3 most upvoted comments right now. That's the kind of crap you get in this sub, just ignore it.
Ah okay. So take the initiative myself. Not having a too open question. More like. “This place” at noonday? Sounds good?
[–]double_prong 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That's better, but you didn't sell it and it still comes across weak.
Have you done Bob's on Union? The crab cakes are so satisfying they'll curl your toes. Meet me there, Thursday at noon.
And before you say it, yes, these scheduling games with women are stupid. It would be easier to ask their whole schedule. We have to play these games though, you've seen what happens when you don't.
[–]XtremePeace 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Agree. I just wrote something along these lines.
[–]amp_payo 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You shouldn’t have asked her if next week works for her. You gave her a choice, now its up to her to figure it out. Realistically, woman don’t make decisions so YOU need to take ACTION and decide for her. Next time, tell the girl a specific date and time and when you’ll pick her up. Scoreboard.
[–]doomergogetter 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's not you per se but you gotta remember odds are stacked against you using online dating. Her inbox is flooded with dudes who want a piece of that pie.
[–]leninsortolan 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You need to start over completely from the beginning and stop listening to 97% of the people saying anything here. Get off Reddit. Watch YouTube videos on pick up artist texting game. Todd Valentine is good
[–]LeGi123 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Don’t say next week. Ask her about a specific day. When trying to make a fix date. Be confident and direct. For example she says: yeah sure. You say: lovely. I know this bar (just pick one you like). Let’s meet there (pick a day you like) When she anwsers be direct with the time too. Girls like it when man are decisive (at least with the small stuff) And also this might not have been your fault at all. It just sometimes happens, that they don’t answer anymore. Get over it and move on. And keep in mind on dating apps there are three times as may men as women. So you just have more to hustle as a guy
[–]AJAY_SS 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Overthink
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[–]PompousSchmuck 12 points13 points14 points (4 children) | Copy Link
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