When talking to girls, it’s better to believe that every single one of them likes you— even if you have no proof and even if they deny it—than to believe they all hate you, find you repulsive, or detest you.

It’s better to be overconfident and overvalue yourself than to go through life undervaluing yourself, thinking you’re a worthless, repulsive guy who no girl would ever be interested in.

Both extremes are false, but if you’re going to pick one, choose the first and act like you believe it. Pretend you’re the most handsome guy on the planet—speak and behave as if that’s true.

Women are more likely to forgive a little excessive arrogance, which they might even mistake for confidence, but a lack of self-esteem won’t get you anywhere with them.

Be careful, though, as women will test you to see if you genuinely believe it or if you’re just pretending to hide your insecurities.

Example Test:

Her: “Do you think you’re good-looking, you so fat?” (A test to see if you’re truly confident or if you need others to validate your attractiveness.)

You: “Be honest, you’ve never seen a dad bod this stunning, have you?”

Here, you’ve used humour to diffuse the tension she created with the test. Whether she laughs or not doesn’t matter. The key is that you enjoy the humor you use, regardless of her reaction.

If you responded with something like, “Well, I think I’m pretty good-looking,” or “Objectively speaking, I think I’m not bad—after all, I’m tall, etc.” you’d be acting logical and defensively.

This would make it seem like you’re trying to convince her you’re attractive, which means you’d fail the test. It would show her you don’t truly believe it and that you need others to believe it for you.

The key is not to take these tests seriously. Hit her with a playful response instead.

I’m a coach, if you need any help with cold approaching, anxiety, and picking up girls, just book a free call with me here I’ll help you with more useful practical advice.