Everyone knows those guys who have no apparent struggles with women. They're out there, and they're real. The big debate is "what do those guys have that average frustrated chumps don't?"

Because on the face of it, there has never been an easier time for guys to get laid. And yet there are more guys withering on the vine than ever before.

Now, are you ready for this, because it may throw you for a loop.

"Perfection is not when there is nothing left to add, but nothing left to take away".

The secret behind naturals is deceptively simple: their secret is not that they have something other guys lack - they actually lack what holds other guys back.

Specifically, anxiety and insecurity.

Anxiety is fatal for a guy's game because it undermines your emotional state. It makes you appear less confident, more hesitant, and undermines the emotions you project that you want a woman to feel, namely excited, aroused, confident, and trusting. Even if she feels those things with you, she'll doubt it and second guess herself because you're so in congruent with that state.

And every natural guy I knew with women, one of their secrets was their utter lack of apparent anxiety with women. They could come off dumb as a fence post, downright sociopathic, or even a little gay/effete. But they weren't anxious. That's the key. And it's why one of the first things a student of game has to learn is to kill their anxiety with women.

Now let's talk about insecurity. It's easier to spot within yourself, but harder to eradicate, usually because we're often insecure with good reason. Maybe we're out of shape, or our lifestyle has issues, or we're getting over bad experiences. The reason why insecurity is so fatal is because of how it undermines your intentions. When women are trying to get a read on a guy, the thing they focus on is a guy's intentions and how they express them. When you're operating from a place of insecurity, the most important thing is appeasing your ego, and therefore your focus is in the wrong place. It should be on her and having a good time with her, not trying to prove some point to yourself.

Once upon a time, there was a show called Community. And one of the characters had an ex boyfriend who was a literal carnie, and yet she was utterly unable to resist her attraction towards this guy. So one of the other characters became obsessed with finding out why a carnie was catnip to women.

And while the in-show root cause was silly and comedic, the big takeaway was this guy had absolutely zero shame. He had nothing to prove to himself or others. And as a result, was the proverbial man untouched by pain, fear, or guilt. And that was why he was catnip to women, despite being on the bottom rung of socioeconomic status.

That's the secret every student of game must learn, and the battle each of us must fight alone. Your anxiety and insecurity is what holds you back with women, and this is true of literally almost every guy, even guys who appear to be naturals.

The point being, focus your attention on the right places. All the self-improvement in the world won't help you if you're still insecure. Learn all the game you want, it won't help you if you still get anxious in sexually tense situations with women.