What am I doing wrong??

StrikingImportance39 · 2025-06-08T13:08:47+00:00

This is very little talked subject especially in feminist circles.

Women can make first move. Send message first. Approach first. Etc.

However, once they do the first steps u have to take over.

And the sooner the better.

That’s because she still expects for you to be a man.

You need to lead. Initiate kino. And do the same things as you would have approached them.

FriendEvening6880 · 2025-06-08T13:16:22+00:00

How often do you get approached by girls? All they do is stare at me and never approach, i get complemented on my looks all the time but very rarely approached, i just get stared at like im supposed to approach. I do approach a lot but im just wondering what is the step one has to take to be approached too?

picker_101 · 2025-06-08T14:08:42+00:00

Because you don't have the personality or skillset to keep them interested. Initially they might be attracted to you based on your physical traits, hence they approached you but after talking to you they were disappointed. My bet is the lack of leads/initiations from you. THEY approached you. THEY asked you out. You never took charge of anything.

There might also be other factors but it's hard to give good feedback without specific details. Pick on specific interaction that failed recently and give us a rundown.

Substantial-Bad-4508 · 2025-06-08T14:42:49+00:00

I can't tell you if you do not give the specific details.

You find the conversations funny, flirty and engaging but clearly they don't because you're back to square one. It's very unlikely that a woman would leave you if you have value in making them feel good.

You should out of curiosity ask them why they took the initiative to ask you out. Typically, women do not do that because the initiative is usually given to the man which also allows women to evaluate his level of confidence (easier to weed out the "weak" men).

HistorianOk2573 · 2025-06-08T15:36:10+00:00

That's because you are probably doing something off putting that's turning them away. Time to self-reflect on what you are doing with far more scrutiny than you expressed here.

Maybe you don't kiss them or create sexual tension, or because you give them to much clairity. Who knows. In order to know what's wrong, you have to explain the situation with far more detail.

ThatDarnSmell · 2025-06-08T17:02:51+00:00

Guys who get approached by women are probably tall and/or good looking. Work on your social skills. I knew a guy who was like 6'5" and also had women chatting him up because he was taller than everyone else and stood out. He was a big, loud guy but was a pretty big asshole and thus was pretty annoying to be around for more than a few minutes at a time.

Certain_Process_7657 · 2025-06-08T17:31:38+00:00

Just because they approach doesn't mean you shouldn't take the lead and escalate. The vast majority of women still want the man to be more dominant and initiate sex, especially the first few times.

Sounds like you're giving off effeminate vibes and need to be more masculine/ take control.

As a general rule, I always try to have sex as soon as possible with a new partner. Have to show you're interested and go for the close. Always be closing.

Exotic_Pop_765 · 2025-06-08T13:22:57+00:00

are you sure you re not making the vibe too platonic ? id advise you you show sexual intent faster and be always concious of what rsd coaches used to refer to as "the bubble". this means the bubble of electricity you guys feel between you two. once this begins its your job to keep it going and to lead it to you two having sex. for this you need to feel the conversation aesthetically. not logically. and be really honest with your self. dont be like "all i said was x and it was the perfectly rational thing to respond to y but now she seems distant and honestly i didnt do anything wrong" meanwhile all she hears is "body language body language body language".

hope this helps ;)

Rhino3750ss · 2025-06-08T13:30:46+00:00

In those situations where you fumbled a woman that seemed she had initial high interest in you, it's almost always because you reciprocated equal or greater interest which makes the girl think you aren't as preselected as she originally sensed you to be. (Incongruence) It's not her fault or yours, it's biological female safety mechanisms.

Maintain a 5 to 7 interest level in her even if her interest level in you is a 10. You don't want to be completely excited or stoic, it's about balance ...once you go over 7, they feel like deer in headlights because they subconsciously assume that if you are that interested in her than other women must not be interested in you.

A woman showing you high interest is the ultimate shit test whether or not that interest is genuine....it's to bait you into revealing too high a desire level on your part. It's super easy to get too excited when the girl is sweet and feminine and flirty

If in doubt, stay a little less interested in the girl than she is in you.

obersharky · 2025-06-08T16:52:33+00:00

Not enough information for me to give any real advice. Common reasons that come to mind: - too platonic - too forward - not screening or testing the girls enough - not closing - not enough chemistry - the girl might be interested in getting to know you but then feels you don't have that much in common or have chemistry - inner game stuff such as being insecure, seeking validation, neediness etc - not being seen as high value enough

Could be any of those things or a combination. Can't really say without more details.

Certain_Process_7657 · 2025-06-08T19:52:42+00:00

There's some really valuable posts on this sub. Also various pickup books you can read. Other classic way is to shadow a friend who's been working game for a while and literally just watch him

KingRemu · 2025-06-09T10:51:39+00:00

You might be over-sharing and being too available. I know, it's always an exciting situation but girls don't want a pen pal.

Arrange a date ASAP since dates seem to be your strong suit and keep contact between dates to a minimum.

Title	What am I doing wrong??
Author	mr_maklur
Upvotes	9
Comments	27
Date	June 8, 2025 12:54 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1l6bh1w/what_am_i_doing_wrong/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-am-i-doing-wrong.1554244 https://theredarchive.com/post/1554244

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