What is being needy?

africanpyjamas69 · 2018-05-15T11:24:57+00:00

A lot of answers here that don't really get to the bottom of the issue.

Being needy is rooted in not feeling fulfilled without having someone else in your life. It's thinking that you need someone to complete you and your life.

When you feel that way you are naturally going to be chasing people, trying to force them into what you want, etc.

You should present what you want to the world and wait for the world to get back to you. If the world doesn't give you what you want, that's fine and you move on.

Got2B22 · 2018-05-15T06:59:04+00:00

blowing up a girls phone is a common mistake. if you have sent a text to a girl and rang her, and she knows you tried to get in touch, stop trying again and calling 100 times

Lord_Augastus · 2018-05-15T07:39:55+00:00

You posting the same question nagging us with you personal insecurities is being needy.

You needing her 24/7. Not letting her have her freedom. Too much texting and asking her about shit, making plans and forcing conversations on her. If she acts distant and uninterested thats a telling sign she isnt, so you being overly infatuated to annoy her with your attention for her is being needy. You have to have your own life, and its a partnership, if you feel like you are thinking about her too much 24/7 thats neediness. Can be confused with love, but love is when you love them despite knowing their shortcomings and dark side, which takes time, infatuation is neediness. if its one sided it isnt a relationship.

cleevethagreat · 2018-05-15T05:49:03+00:00

Not giving your partner enough

GuyFromDaStore · 2018-05-15T06:01:13+00:00

If you think you're being needy, you're being needy.

Vibez__ · 2018-05-15T06:34:00+00:00

When you need her. If you need her, stop needing her.

masterNightmare · 2018-05-15T10:52:23+00:00

Being needy is when her response influence your outcome. Do not bee needy. Make sure you have other shit to do and therefore you will never fall under that needy umbrella.

FlammableGarbage · 2018-05-15T11:29:06+00:00

I generally think of it as a continuum, with being a stalker at the negative extreme. The closer to stalking your behaviour is, the needier it is.

For instance, take texting. There was a stalker recently who sent 65k texts in the space of a few days to the target of her fixation.

The more your actions are the actions of someone fixated on the person you're interested in, the needier they are.

The trick is to want someone, but not to need them. If you want someone, it's only disappointing when they don't want you or they leave your life. It's not what you wanted, but it doesn't hurt anymore than not getting an ice cream you wanted. When you need someone, it actually wounds you when they leave or don't want you back.

On the other hand, if you're so disengaged you don't even want someone, why are you even there?

tab13092 · 2018-05-15T17:23:41+00:00

Generally, people who are "needy" are those that don't have enough fulfillment in their own lives and seek out fulfillment and validation in someone else.

Post LTR I used to be needy, and it was simply a combination of trying to fill a newly created void in my life coupled with being stuck in "Girlfriend Mode".

If you feel that you're generally coming off too strong too soon, take a step back and analyze your life. Do you feel fulfilled? Do you feel comfortable with being single? Are there areas you can focus on and improve?

Not sure if you feel you're being needy, or simply asking just out of curiosity (let's assume the former) I would generally suggest focusing more so on your own wants and needs and less on trying to be with someone else. If you love yourself, that's the sort of vibe you cast out. If you're insecure, and you feel like you need someone else in your life to be happy anyone remotely near you will pick it up.

A lot of people say "If you stop going out of your way to find someone, someone will find you" and though it generally doesn't mean that you'll just have girls approaching you the idea is it kills that sort of "I need someone else in my life" vibe you would normally be giving off and as such people (both love interests and people with platonic interest) will actually want to be around you.

Just my thoughts.

spoonthrower · 2018-05-18T05:14:23+00:00

We’re all a little bit needy but I’d say the crux of being needy is feeling like you need her validation to feel whole, and acting upon this validation thirst in a way that’s unhealthy for you and the relationship.

Essentially, when you don’t get the validation from her (affection, attention, etc.), you start to chase/annoy her in order to get it, and she feels suffocated by you and wants you to go away.

Rather than work for your attention, all her energy is spent on stopping this no-options, loser guy from annoying her.

That being said, the opposite of being needy, being completely indifferent/aloof to the outcome, might not be ideal, as it goes too extreme the other way.

While you definitely want to err on this indifferent/aloof side, the needy energy is there for a reason, and gives you a bit of a kick in the pants to keep things going.

Just make sure she invests at least as much as you do in the relationship, and it doesn’t ever feel like you’re stifling her.

Corey Wayne has the best advice on this topic.

Title	What is being needy?
Author	wildbear21
Upvotes	2
Comments	12
Date	May 15, 2018 5:43 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/8jj8lq/what_is_being_needy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-is-being-needy.1446624 https://theredarchive.com/post/1446624

Comments