Something I’ve learned after going on many dates with different women is that sometimes a second date is completely unnecessary just to “see what happens.”

Of course there are exceptions, but in most cases it’s actually counterproductive. It’s hard to notice at first, but over time you realize you were just wasting your time.

Imagine this: you go on a first date with a girl and the chemistry is intense. Lots of kissing, touching, great vibes — you almost ended up at a motel because of how strong the attraction was. But what happens afterward? Days pass and she starts texting you like you’re just another friend: dry replies, little interest, barely answering your questions.

Then you start thinking, “What did I do wrong? Maybe if I invite her on a second date I can fix it and make her fall for me.”

She accepts the second date. Again, the night is intense. Maybe you even end up sleeping together. But after that, the same thing happens: dry messages, little initiative, low effort.

Then you tell yourself, “Maybe if we go on a third date she’ll change how she feels about me.”

Spoiler: even if you went on 65 more dates, it probably wouldn’t change anything.

What really happened is that you became attached to a woman who isn’t emotionally available. But instead of seeing it that way, you convince yourself that she’s just “hard to get,” so you stay — and all you end up losing is time and money.

The good news is that this doesn’t happen with every woman. There will be women who make it clear from the first date that they like you and are actually open to something with you.

Those are the ones you should pay attention to.