Bro, You're Not Gonna Change Her

Nervous-Arrogance · 2026-07-08T11:57:31+00:00

Attraction cannot be negotiated - no brainer

jsbach123 · 2026-07-08T11:40:43+00:00

The best move is to walk away.

If you walk away, there's a 20% chance she'll change her mind. She'll see you have backbone. She'll assume you have other chicks lined up. She'll then see you in a more positive light.

If you don't walk away and keep trying, the chance falls to 0%. No woman ever respects a man she rejected but she still keeps coming. PATHETIC.

So you just gotta play the odds. 20% chance is better than 0%.

confused_8357 · 2026-07-08T12:41:30+00:00

This is probably the hardest thing to learn in game

At some point flirting ,being foreward, smooth talking can be learned but this takes a lot of good practice.

I.e Indifference

eablokker · 2026-07-08T17:31:28+00:00

The mistake is thinking that the way someone behaves is just they way they are. Or worse, that it means something about you as a person. It doesn't. It's just a reflection of their current mood, their emotional state. You're right, their mood cannot be changed by logical argument. But there are many ways that you can change it. Most people don't know how so they end up thinking its impossible. The place to start is learning how to change your own mood. Because your mood will infect them. And then you can use the same techniques you used to change your own mood, on them to change theirs.

I mean, if you've put them into a bad mood on the date previously, as in your example, then you're going to have some work to do to undo their bad mood. Best not to ruin it in the first place. But also her mood can be influenced by a lot of factors outside your control, like her period. When her mood changes, she can be like a completely different person. Put her into a sweet and loving mood, and it's as if she's a totally different person. And she will be that different person just for you because you're the one who put her into that mood.

charlizard1000xy · 2026-07-08T11:43:31+00:00

I think I am.

ericjlima · 2026-07-08T16:52:51+00:00

Yeah those two bold questions you ask are pretty good.

This is just a theory but most women want to insert themselves into situations. Men are the ones who seem to change.

Think about it this way, if a boy is playing with action figures, he plays with them according to what qualities those action figures have. When a girl plays with action figures, she molds those action figures to do what she wants them to be doing. That means instead of superman flying and fighting bad guys, he suddenly is wearing a gown and having a picnic.

This is a fundamental difference in how men and women see the world. Men adapt to situations, women fit themselves into situations.

Don't expect a women to change, ever. Whatever exists consists.

Artistic-Simple-9062 · 2026-07-12T19:36:53+00:00

Here’s something to consider actually- I have two decades of experience so I can probably say something about this subject.

Women pretty much are rotating through hormonal cycles month to month. Each day you don’t really know where she is mentally, and she WON’T tell you - at least easily.

Some days this girl is going to be really sweet and caring and even ready to sleep with you and it will feel like easy mode.

Other days she will be the biggest bitch in your life and might either yell at you to lash her frustration out or go dark and cold on you to the point you prefer a cold plunge for warmth.

The point is you don’t know unless maybe you have good communication with her and she feels SAFE with you to at least give a clue. So the answer I have learned is DON’T worry about a girl’s behavior to you. Most of the time she isn’t really wanting to be like this to you either. It’s just a cycle. She is going to feel BETTER around you if you are able to be grounded and “able to handle her at her worst, then you get her best” as the saying goes. To do this though, you have to stop worrying what she thinks. Being reactive to her is what makes her turned off because then you are also a problem for her rather than a solution for help.

Girls will say and do all kinds of shit and then not take responsibility later for it. Just don’t care unless it’s illegal (then call the cops). You go be better. Inadvertently you becoming better while she gets worse makes her chase or compete to get you back. It’s really funny how this works

V3X390 · 2026-07-08T14:52:50+00:00

If she’s done, she’s done. But sometimes I like to fish for a reason. I’ll say something like “Did I do something wrong? Or do you have other stuff going on?” That way if you really did fuck up, she has a chance to tell you without it coming off as aggressive. If she tells you she’s just been busy then you can just move on and charge it to the game.

Matter_Still · 2026-07-08T16:21:55+00:00

“But here's the truth: She's not gonna change”

So, in your vast experience—or Chatgpt’s—you have collected enough evidence to state, unequivocally, that no woman ever changed or can change once she has blown you off?

That’s interesting but unequivocally false.

People change radically all the time. Lifelong atheists become believers, lifelong believers become atheists.

This well-established truth of human nature is why, among others, works of literature such as “A Christmas Carol”, “Les Miserables”, and “War and Peace” endure—and why radical change can happen to even the most seemingly inaccessible woman.

In my own minuscule body of experience when younger and more energetic, I was told in no uncertain terms, “If you think I’ll marry you or have kids with you”, you need a psychiatrist.”

At 22, I didn’t hear a word of it and kept soldiering on. The day came when despite her warning it could never happen, she said, almost within a week’s time, “Are you going to marry me?” and, most astonishingly, “I want to have a baby.”

So much for your “She’s not gonna change”—and I’m confident my story is far from unique.

I have no idea where such a witch’s brew of absolutism and cynicism (such as you wrote with what I believe is a major assist from AI) comes from. My guess is it’s mined from the poison pen or tongue of one PUA guru or another.

(You might put down your copy of “Models” or “The Game” and crack open a copy of Giacomo Casanova’s memoirs, in which he documented numerous instances where a woman initially refused him or proved difficult to win over, only for his persistence and wit to eventually change her mind.

I may very well be an outlier in this matter, but in my very limited experience the most remarkable sex occurred with a woman who previously gave you the impression she wouldn’t spit on your hair to put out a fire.

saryiahan · 2026-07-08T12:21:11+00:00

First time?

chobolicious88 · 2026-07-08T12:52:35+00:00

This is real

MyUsername0_0 · 2026-07-08T20:32:05+00:00

Just because you go on a date with a girl and kiss or hookup doesn't mean she owes you anything? That's not her not changing it just means she wasn't attracted to you enough.

godofguitar3 · 2026-07-09T01:55:47+00:00

Yea had this happen recently and a few days after my last invitation to hangout, she sends a long text saying she is not feeling “the spark”. Like wth do i even make of that? 😭

Anadrolus · 2026-07-09T06:27:37+00:00

Myself I mostly ignore them, I can send them a very cool photo of a trip or a funny meme sometimes.

They come back themselves, simply sometimes the girl becomes single again.

What works great is to wish a happy birthday, or happy new year works somewhat.

guypamplemousse · 2026-07-09T09:22:53+00:00

🆒

Visible-Criticism518 · 2026-07-12T01:53:48+00:00

Well i found that if you except someone to change who they are you will be left disappointed every time accept the person for who they are good or bad of that person is not what you desire they are not the right one expecting someone to change will cause resentment and and a unhappy situation for both people this is my 2 cents hope it helps

MysticTemptress76 · 2026-07-14T14:02:57+00:00

If I want to hookup then I will but I also make it clear I'm not wanting anything serious... I'm not ghosting someone. Like after a hookup, and a dude messages me, I just say "Hey it was fun, I had a nice time, but I also dont want anything more...and NO you cant keep hitting"😁

Title	Bro, You're Not Gonna Change Her
Author	Remarkable_Outside67
Upvotes	97
Comments	29
Date	July 8, 2026 11:34 AM UTC (1 month ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1uqq1q2/bro_youre_not_gonna_change_her/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/bro-youre-not-gonna-change-her.1584527 https://theredarchive.com/post/1584527

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🆒