I see a lot of posts and comments that are in the same basic vein:

"Tell me how to do this or that"

Of course, this sub is for advice, and we should keep it actionable.

But don't use this sub a substitute for thinking on your own and coming up with your own potential solutions.

When I used to code, there is a rule on the substack forum (that coders use to get help from other coders). And that rule was that

before you ask for help, you should have tried to solve the problem first on your own before you ask. And tell us what you tried.

That means you had to do some thinking on your own, and present the solution you tried first, before others jumped in to help. If you do not do this, your post got automatically removed. I sometimes feel like this sub could benefit from a similar rule.

When you invite others to give their advice before you've tried to solve it on your own you're off-setting thinking and continuing a bad habit of learned helplessness. It's like using AI to think for you instead of thinking on your own. It's very bad for your development.

People should, in my opinion, also not ask for help if they're not trying stuff in the real world.

I'm sorry that I've gotten into a lot of arguments with people about this. But like.. If you're just sitting behind your keyboard and never talking to women in real life - I will not tell you what to do. Get out of your house and try something first. That will be my only advice until you do.

99% of humanity NEVER reads this forum or any dating-advice at all. And most manage to freestyle their way into relationships with their independent thinking. I'm not saying success is guaranteed, but come on, at least try something before asking. Everyone is basically capable of trying and failing. If you're not doing that, then I'm sorry, the only advice I will give you is to try something in real life first.

You don't need advice until you fail.