Recently I've discovered an alarming trend among the community. Through observation I concluded that there is a key difference in being congruent and not letting people stepping on you, and respecting other human beings and just being a genuine person. There is a key distinction between the two: The asshole doesn't have long term friends, and the alpha male does. The douchebag is rude to people simply because he cares only about himself and doesn't consider other people.

I recently ran into this several times trying to wing with other people and have been noticing a trend among us. People are plain old douchebags just because they really think that's how to win at the game. The truth is there is a misunderstanding here.

The underlying problem is that on the surface yes, you can get girls just by simply being rude to people. But that's just scratching the surface. There are simple characteristics that women everywhere generally find appealing.

But why is the asshole getting success? Is it the way he puts people down? Is it the way he puts himself first and doesn't let people step all over him? Is it because he is not afraid of anyone and is willing to stand up when things don't go his way? Is it because he wears his cap backwards and has been going to the gym 48 hours a week?

YES and NO. You see, we need to look at the underlying character traits here. The asshole doesn't get girls because he is a scumbag of the earth. It's because he's leading, not following. He's not afraid of speaking up. He's comfortable with himself no matter if he goes to the gym 5 times a week or if he hasn't exercised in years. Its the way he walks upright with good posture, holds eye contact, and smiles with those he's addressing. Its the way he thinks highly of himself and will stand up for himself and/or others if it is warranted. It's because he is precise and isn't decisive when making decisions. It's because he adds value rather than take value from people. And more often than not, the douche cares about his style and will maintain good hygiene.

I've seen too many plain old douchebags that step on other people's shoes just to get their way. Sure they have some success, but these guys have No lasting friendships, and these guys can't get in venues free of charge or get invited anywhere. Why? It's because they're RUDE TO EVERYONE.

YES you don't have to step on everyone. You can be a genuine great alpha male human being who is well connected and wins the game. Take the good underlying characteristics and amplify them. Don't adapt the negative or you'll push everyone else away.

One of the reasons the alpha male wins is because he has a network of people he can rely on and talk to other people as leverage. He gets that added advantage of being exposed to social circles and thus more opportunities.

Another reason is that the Alpha male has social proof at his side. Since he has an established network, you will see that he is the one calling the shots in the group, he is the one keeping everyone together, he is the one that is the true leader. You see, someone can't truly lead unless they also master managing people and a huge portion of that is relaying and understanding your fellow man. The asshole has no one by his side, no one to lead, no one to cover his back when hard times come. When girls and people see the group, one will stand out more than the rest, and instinctively they will find the Alpha Male.

So next time you step on someone, ask yourself is it warranted? What is the other person's perspective? What is the best way to act based on the circumstance?

I've seen a lot more genuinely good people who have appealing characteristics win out the douchebag Every single time.

Please feel free to respond to this post. I want everyone's perspective on this, because too often I feel like we're losing track of congruence, and what's worse is we're getting SOME results because of it. A negative behavior is being rewarded.

Update: Thanks all for reading. I've made my point very clear, but it means nothing if it doesn't instill change. Take what I've said and apply it to your own world. Until the next post cheers to you all and have a great day.