https://www.reddit.com/r/Cringetopia/comments/ou6f57/hes_trying_so_hard_it_hurts/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

I saw this post on r/cringe and while I did indeed cringe, I felt the need to talk about why all these dudes suck at trying to flirt with this girl.

I’ve been working on my dating/ social skills for a few years, and while I’m certainly not perfect I’ve come a very long way, especially in the last six months as I’ve taken things seriously. In general, I used to have 0 success with women and social situations and now I am much smoother and make friends everywhere I go. I am a 5’6 average looking dude with a big nose and I date WAY out of my league. Would be happy to speak more on that if you’re interested.

When you get good at this stuff, girls will not shut you down or post you to tik tok for looking like a loser. On the contrary, you’ll make her day - and like I said, I’m still learning. You have to go through all the stages to get there, which means at some point you’ll likely sound like one of these guys, but if you want to really build a charming personality those are simply the “reps” you need to grow.

  1. Boring, interview questions. Only guy who broke this was the hacky sack dude. I didn’t hate his suggestion but, as you can see from the video, this girl has been hit on all damn day and she’s not about it.

The best thing you can do when you talk to a girl during the day is make a small joke right after you open. You need to make her feel a little more comfortable/ less scared. Being funny is generally a good tool to have.

Stuff I might have said in this interaction: - do you like this song? -> follow up with tease whether she does or not - Wow you look like you’re having the time of your life -> talk about how much retail sucks and tell stories from my experience

  1. Clearly way too damn nervous I know it’s hard talking to strangers, and even harder talking to beautiful women, but guy 1 & 2 are clearly stifled. If they were at least a little more upbeat, showed some positivity and genuine interest (like guy 3) the tone of conversation would be much different.

Part of breaking that is simply doing the work, the other part is managing yourself in those tough situations. Meditation helps.

  1. Hitting on a girl while she’s working As it says in the video, she’s just trying to do her job. Imagine, she doesn’t want to be in this situation but there’s no way out for her. She’s being paid for customer service and if she leaves a bad impression (even if the guy is an asshole) she’ll likely get reprimanded for it.

Something men take for granted is how much bigger and stronger they are than women. I’m not saying ALL women are small and weak, but they don’t have the same sense of personal safety that we do. You never want to make a woman feel unsafe, and in fact if you take steps to make sure you recognize her safety she will warm up to you much quicker. Women LOVE kind men, just not pushovers or guys who are weird about it.

It’s not impossible to grab that cute waitress’s number, or hit on the barista if you’re smooth, but if you’re not I wouldn’t go for it just yet. Talk to girls out at the mall, reading in the park, enjoying a coffee. Not those who are working.

  1. Trying to close when she’s clearly not into it

Don’t ask for the number/ Instagram if you’re not getting any vibes.

In general, if a girl isn’t being receptive, smile and say, “it was lovely to meet you, have a nice day”.

It sounds like a paradox but you need to learn to expect nothing from someone when you speak with them. Whether that’s their behavior or otherwise. Learn to show genuine interest and make people feel seen, make the conversation about them first, and you and them together second. Pepper in some jokes, and APPROPRIATE physical escalation, and that’s pretty much day game to a T. It’s not that complicated but it takes practice.

Conclusion

I give all these dudes a 2/10, with hacky sack getting a potential 3. At least they tried. Their efforts are 100% in vain and largely misdirected but at least they tried.

There is so much more I could write but I’m on my phone and need to get breakfast together. Hope this was useful. Keep working at it and always try to be better not perfect. If it’s you in this video, hey man great effort, but you gotta sharpen up.

-BFBG