I need a mana perspective ..

Snoekpoek · 2025-09-24T15:12:39+00:00

I’ve read your posts and read your responses below. Honestly, you can’t force someone to love you the way you want, just by loving him. It has to come from both sides naturally, and that is obviously not happening here. You say you’re a lovely partner and do everything right, while he does not seem to appreciate you at all. My advice would be: get the hell out. And also, don’t make the mistake again of getting dependant on a piece of trash.

No_Imagination_59 · 2025-09-23T19:34:34+00:00

I wouldn’t ever want him to feel like his man hood was taken. He’s even told his family for years I’ve only Been good to him he says he doesn’t know why I put him on a pedestal.But .. the last few months he says I nagged him and I’m bothering him trying to smear my truth all because I’m getting serious to leave him. I haven’t ever disrespected him. He called me a bitch the other day for telling him one thing while I’m caring for the kids while they had fevers. I’m not trying to even do he said she said I don’t care I guess I just want peace and happiness for all. Why can’t men or anyone toxic see that’s what adults or a decent human should want for all.

Bagman220 · 2025-09-23T18:34:21+00:00

Usually when a man complains like this he is often met with the type of response that says “you made your bed and now you have to lay in it.” So I’ll give you that tough love perspective.

Sorry your husband sounds like a dick, but you married him. You had 3 kids with him. You didn’t learn after the first that he wasn’t going to give them baths? Second and third obviously nothing changed.

Then, you say he treats you poorly, is this recent? Or you just ignored it and had more kids?

What were you doing for work before you had kids? Did you just never get your career off the ground? Or did you mutually decide hey, it’s best if I’m a stay at home mom? Also, you said he won’t let you work? Well if you get divorced you’re gonna have to work? So start looking for a job. Who will take care of the young kids? Not sure, but that’s something you’ll have to figure out.

I stayed with my ex for a long time until I had my ducks in a row and could leave her. You might have to do the same. Either way, you chose this life. It sucks to hear. But I chose my life too, and I have to live with the consequences. But you can escape, you just have to weigh out what the cost of that escape is.

EvalCrux · 2025-09-23T18:30:52+00:00

Do you text him like you write here? 🤔

Titan22_ · 2025-09-23T18:24:18+00:00

My guess (or just a possibility) is you make him feel super inferior in a lot of ways. That’s the case with mine, my soon to be ex wife is gorgeous…. But to me it’s irrelevant because of how she always found ways to insult my manhood and ambitions and accomplishments by labeling them failures once she was crazy mad at me about whatever. The man is probably not looking to be disrespectful in all cases, he’s probably looking to see what gets reciprocated from other women because he’s seriously questioning so much about where he stands as a mate, man, and self worth. It’s not solely having an eye for all other women…… trust me when I say that.

thegreatcerebral · 2025-09-23T18:13:50+00:00

I'm going to try to understand and see what I think....

You love your husband and don't want to get a divorce but you feel like he has driven you to divorce because of the way he is being/treating you?

I gather that something happened.... what happened? He claims you set him up? You say he looks at other women and he denies he does that. My guess is that we are dealing with infidelity here?

Then you go on and say that he doesn't want you to talk about what he has done to you in the past and even chases you around with "weapons in his hands"??? Like knives and wrenches?

Then you say that you are a prisoner in that he doesn't allow you to work and you "can't leave" is that because he is holding you hostage/prisoner?

Lots going on here and I get that you are trying to get it out and also seems like English is not your first language?

So, I think first some background is needed... When did all this start, was there an event or just out of nowhere? Second does he not speak to you or only when you want to speak about whatever it is that he did? Which again, what did he do?

What is it exactly you want from him at this time? Did you already file for divorce?

From what I currently know: Sounds like you filed for divorce for something he did because you felt pushed to do so. He did something and you feel like you have been the one to hold everything down while he worked to pay the bills. You put your life on hold and he did this to you. You want to work it out but he doesn't want to talk to you possibly because you already filed for divorce. Hence the "you set me up" part.

If you set this in motion then there may be nothing that can be done now. I get you wanting to set it in motion because you felt that may be the only way to get him to talk but it may have backfired.

Still missing so much and so many questions.

No_Imagination_59 · 2025-09-23T17:29:12+00:00

Thank you And sorry for posting on here. Sometimes it nice to have a conversation with others 🤪 to see things and different points etc

No_Imagination_59 · 2025-09-23T16:38:31+00:00

Big difference I do not like his actions

DeedIndeed · 2025-09-23T16:37:19+00:00

Firstly, I don’t know why you’re posting here. We usually come here to talk things through because we need camaraderie. Just because you need a man’s perspective doesn’t mean that this is the best forum.

Your post is a rant about a man that seems to treat you and your kids poorly but you want to stay with him. The question is why are you with this person? You actually haven’t said what you like about him at all.

There are good men out there. And it seems like you’re looking at other men paying attention to you, too, but you’re not physically acting on it.

Divorce. Call a lawyer and ask your options because of money issues. People are in these circumstances daily. If he’s abusive, threatening with weapons, child neglect or abuse, you’ll most likely receive spousal and child support. You’re already doing the work for the kids, and they need to be your focus. Not this person you actually don’t seem to like.

ShaunyP_OKC · 2025-09-23T16:33:27+00:00

You want our validation and you're in the wrong place for that.

BigBubbaMac · 2025-09-23T16:23:49+00:00

You don't need a man's perspective. You seem to paint yourself as a victim and we have no way of telling if this is accurate or not. It also seems like you have your mind made up so just plan it out and act it out.

No_Imagination_59 · 2025-09-23T15:36:41+00:00

And I’d like to also add don’t even think for a second it’s a booth sex because he’s even complained I’m too “sexual “ To family and friends !! His one friend told me recently embarrassing as hell !!! That I do too much !!!!!!!!!!!! They all were in shock especially his friend and I was embarrassed !!!! His friend was being kind and couldn’t understand how he can reject me knowing I’m not idling and I turn every guys head ! Even after kids wtf is wrong with men I’m loyal as hell too.

watermelonstrong · 2025-09-23T15:22:56+00:00

Your post isn't coherent

No_Imagination_59 · 2025-09-23T14:51:07+00:00

I’m no gold digger at all I’ve even offered to set him free allow me to work even 3rd shift and save a bit and We can go separate ways. He won’t.
I’ve tried nursing school his response to me getting accepted was “you just want to fuck a doctor “ wtf no I’m nothing like that at all he knows it. I quit and I’m stuck in this situation. Why are you men like this to us? Let’s rock answer I need to know and be straight up I do not need bull shit I get enough from my husband. :( I want to and. Need to know how to get him to see he doesn’t love me hasn’t said it in years. He’s even said “I’m not broke I can have any bitch “ I responded then please go but be nice to the next one. I wnat him to go find a girlfriend just please stop torturing me.

No_Imagination_59 · 2025-09-23T14:27:49+00:00

Talk ** so sorry for Typos

No_Imagination_59 · 2025-09-23T14:22:27+00:00

Mans *********

Title	I need a mana perspective ..
Author	No_Imagination_59
Upvotes	0
Comments	53
Date	September 23, 2025 2:19 PM UTC (10 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1noio84/i_need_a_mana_perspective/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/i-need-a-mana-perspective.1562633 https://theredarchive.com/post/1562633

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