I (37) got divorced in Feb. I was the one who filed for separation. It was a long time coming and was no surprise to anyone.

I wanted this for years, and it was the right move for everyone. However, I was surprised to find that there was something in me still attached.

After the divorce, it took about a month to shed her as a friend. I underestimated how much I depended on her as simple as someone to talk to. I've got that in other areas now, but it's something that I didnt expect.

And just this week, I've shed her as a coparent. We have a 6yo daughter together. I've personally made massive strides in improving myself as a father. In the evenings and days that I have her, nearly all of it is quality time with her. I've been firm but fair while establishing structure for my daughter for the first time in her life. I've owned setting up and getting her to all dr and therapy appointments. I've signed her up for summer programs. I've been taking her to the pool every evening because she just loves it there. I'm having true heart to heart talks with her now, and I'm developing a true bond instead of being a taskmaster dad. In short, I'm becoming everything I wanted to be when she was first born. None of this was possible with my ex and her kids. Not in that company, and even I was the worst version of myself in extreme, prolonged stress.

I've started sharing my successes with my ex. As her mother, I thought she would be happy to see her daughter happier and healthier. Instead, everything I've shared with her has been met with hostility and phobia. She told me that our daughter is going to drown in the pool if I keep taking her there, or she is going to be kidnapped by human traffickers. She told me that tball (1 hour twice per week) is going to stress her out and it's going to be too much.

I've had the realization this week that she isn't going to change. She will never be the good mother that I always hoped she would be. She's put in less than the minimum into everything in her whole life. She will continue to assume that problems will just solve themselves, and kids will be successful and fine with no extra effort from her.

This week, I've given up on her. I was hoping to lead by example, and maybe if I do better, she will. But I'm met with the opposite. The better I do, she sees it as reflecting poorly on herself.

Coming to this realization, my ex is dead to me. I see myself as raising my daughter alone now, even though it is split custody.

It's been a tough couple months rebuilding my life how I want it to be, and I have a long way to go, but as of today, I'm ready for everything I need to do for my little girl. She's gone through so much.