Guy was masturbating during zoom date.

throwaway23004345 · 2020-04-16T01:19:46+00:00

Yea girl you don’t value yourself despite being successful. No 6 figure career woman sends sexy pics on a first encounter. I’m sorry about your rape. That wasn’t your fault. Maybe try therapy and confront your issues head on.

mightbethrowawayyy · 2020-04-16T01:04:57+00:00

Oh. My. Fucking. God. No I don’t think there’s a possibility he could be HVM.

Sage_Planter · 2020-04-16T01:15:16+00:00

Have you been in therapy to work through your past trauma and to help you navigate modern dating? I'm a firm believer that everyone should invest in their mental health and seek therapy in different phases of life. This can help you with confidence and your ability to recognize red flags earlier on.

Briannax · 2020-04-16T02:21:31+00:00

Oh my gosh, never send guys sexy pics. Not even in a relation ship (unless you fully trust them and have a ring on your finger?).

nosynobody · 2020-04-16T04:32:29+00:00

No he's not an HVM. I know HVM who've turned down flings cos they were looking for something serious, they would never be jacking it to a girl they barely know on video. Also you are an attorney for God's sake you should have a better pool of men!! Please sort yourself out before you settle for some shitty dude who will end up draining your resources and soul.

lyricthesecond · 2020-04-16T05:16:24+00:00

Now I’m trying to figure out what went wrong.

What went wrong is he's a total piece of shit, and I'm willing to bet he's a porn addict. His brain is so distorted by hours of jerking it to screens, that he feels no obligation to be decent or respectful to women. That's 100% his problem. The disgusting, non-consensual act of him masturbating on cam was completely unacceptable. Good job breaking it off with him.

Block him on everything so there's no possibility of him weaseling his way back into your life or stalking your social media. Now, use your freed-up emotional energy to take care of yourself. It's okay to grieve. I'm sure there were things about him that you liked, and it hurts to find out that someone is only interested in you for sex when you have so much more to offer. Again, that's his problem, his loss. It has nothing to do with you.

So give it some time, don't feel like you need to rush to "get over it." Also, it helps to know what's going on physiologically. When we meet someone we really like, our brains become flooded with lovely neurochemicals that make us feel good. If we have to abruptly end that connection, it sucks because you are literally experiencing withdrawals. It'll feel lousy for a while but best thing you can do is distract yourself when you find yourself thinking of him. Reach out to your friends and family, you don't have to tell them about him but keeping in touch with your support system can really help.

I don’t know what to do to attract a HVM.

The thing is, when you're an attractive woman, you're going to attract male attention of ALL kinds, LV and HV. The goal then, is to sort out who's who, and ruthlessly cut out the trash. Don't let LVM take up space in your mind or heart. Therapy can work wonders, I hope you'll give it a try.

krptonight · 2020-04-16T08:03:49+00:00

Are you trying to switch the blame of his shitty behavior on yourself? He did something disrespectful and borderline abusive. You did nothing wrong.

Everybody else already covered everything else that needs saying. I wanted to repeat this point only: he did something wrong and that is not in your control.

You can't manipulate men into being respectful and caring.

VikingPug · 2020-04-16T02:20:45+00:00

Check out Alan Robarge videos on YouTube. You should be working on yourself as long as possible before dating. And definitely no dating during a pandemic.

SinclairTrengrove · 2020-04-16T15:48:50+00:00

He’s definitely an LVM. The fact he can’t settle in conversation but instead masturbate so shamelessly if the first to three dates is worrying. It says a few things. 1. He’s a porn addict. It made his brain into mash potatoes. A single sight of a woman showing interest is sexual. This is very LVM behavior. Borderline worrying. He wouldn’t know boundaries during the relationship. 2 He’s a porn addict. You’re going to deal with that for awhile. 3. He’s objectifying you. He doesn’t see you much as an Individual, just a sexual object.

You did absolutely nothing wrong. He’s a LVM to begin with. Even if he was momentarily HVM, he would turn out to be LVM. It’s his fault for everything above. You are innocent. You’re high value. He’s not the one.

stovetop_bellbottom · 2020-04-16T13:57:15+00:00

None of it is your fault.

There is absolutely no excuse for sort that disgusting behaviour!

krptonight · 2020-04-17T03:38:08+00:00

[deleted]

Title	Guy was masturbating during zoom date.
Author	krptonight
Upvotes	59
Comments	43
Date	April 16, 2020 12:55 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/g24v7w/guy_was_masturbating_during_zoom_date/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/guy-was-masturbating-during-zoom-date.678269 https://theredarchive.com/post/678269

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