Religion Red Flags

Sage_Planter · 2020-09-02T15:50:38+00:00

Stay strong.

A LVM will use anything to try to get you to stay because he knows he's much better off with you in his life even though he knows how little value he provides you.

Ms_Tilly · 2020-09-02T15:57:17+00:00

I grew up with that wacky, manipulative religious shit and chose to leave religion in my early 20s.

gracefullrose · 2020-09-02T16:03:36+00:00

Rest assured it is not just you. I had my ex-in-laws tell me that god didn't like divorce so it was my responsibility to suck it up and stay with an abusive man because the bible said I should.

YukiCatKingdom · 2020-09-02T16:01:50+00:00

My heart goes out to you, I was in a similar position before. I'm still trying to figure out all the red flags for dating religious men, but I have I recently written some FDS-inspired guidelines for dating in a religious community, you can find those here: https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ig29ql/fds_in_religious_communities_pt_1/

To comment on your meetings with the priest, I just want to note that most (if not all) religions are primarily led by men, and you will experience a power imbalance in religious communities because of this. Be aware that if you seek relationship counsel from an ecclesiastical leader that it will probably be biased towards benefiting men over benefiting women. This bias can be subtle, and sometimes subconscious, but it is very present in religious communities. Acknowledge the bias, and put greater trust in your personal experiences and intuition. No man can receive revelation from God to decide who you should be married to or what you should do with your life. Those decisions are yours alone (and whether you want to involve God in those decisions is your prerogative).

neverinne · 2020-09-02T17:30:05+00:00

It's not just you. I saw a Catholic program at my mum's recently where a priest was talking about providing "couples therapy" which involved telling women a story about a mother whose children were killed and who forgave their killer. Then he'd ask them "well if she could forgive the killer of her babies, can't you forgive your husband for cheating/mistreating you?" He bragged about his high success rate (i.e. women would give in, feel ashamed and stay married).

I'm not going to tell you to turn your back on your faith - but do turn it back on organized religion. This priest is not your friend, he does not have your best interests at heart - he'd rather see you married than happy.

sewingmachinesavior · 2020-09-02T18:57:38+00:00

Religion and abuse go hand in hand (yeah nOt AlL ReliGioN). But priests and pastors often condone abusive behavior in the name of submitting to your husband or Christ.

Google escaping religious abuse if you want to see you are not alone.

pineycitrusforest · 2020-09-02T20:45:09+00:00

Religion at all is a red flag in my book. Name one that hasn't tried to put women down. I'll wait.

SuperbHalf · 2020-09-03T00:06:28+00:00

I am wholly convinced that religion is a tool used to trap and groom. There is too much wrong with religion. Lots of them end up cults

level_up_always · 2020-09-03T01:42:43+00:00

religion = patriarchy no matter which way you slice it or how they pretend to be 'progressive' the whole premise is saying women come from a mans rib and not the LITERAL most powerful thing we have which is our fertility bc they don't want us to realize that. as long as you stay in it you will lose. get tf away as soon as you can.

Title	Religion Red Flags
Author	NawSisFT
Upvotes	51
Comments	15
Date	September 2, 2020 3:48 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/il9apn/religion_red_flags/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/religion-red-flags.173352 https://theredarchive.com/post/173352

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