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[–]MilkMadeMeFDS Newbie 148 points149 points150 points 5 years ago* (11 children) | Copy Link
I appreciate the sentiment and motivation, but corporate America is wholly lacking in the basic tenets of human respect we are demanding as women.
I have seen so many intelligent women sacrifice their boundaries, compassion, and sense of morality to “climb the ladder” for perceived power and monetary gain. They drank the Kool-Aid.
I would gladly work (and have switched jobs) for slightly less money if the job allowed me to keep my personal values intact.
(Edit: typo)
[–]dak4f2FDS Newbie 26 points27 points28 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Exactly. We don't need to dominate patriarchal structures. We need to build our own.
Like OP I've started my own small business in the hopes of building something even a little better. Right now I'm doing it for myself, if I'm successful hopefully it can touch more women.
[–]4BigDataFDS Newbie 6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
So true! Our own communities, like FDS!
[–]greatcathyFDS Newbie 9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You can always start your own business. Many queens do that.
[–]MilkMadeMeFDS Newbie 10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Have my eyes set on this for sure. Definitely recognize I’m not strong enough in my own field related skills yet to do so. With more experience, that’s certainly the goal..
[–]XRozeFDS Newbie 55 points56 points57 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
So true. I hate that we can only become independent from men by submitting to capitalism, which is just another male system of control. I realized that I cant have a relationship and work at the same time. Men derail my career, which I equate with my survival. I’ve chosen to survive, and to determine my own future. The corporate world is a patriarchal minefield. It’s no wonder half of women executives are unmarried and/or childless. We’re trying to thrive in a system that was created for men with stay at home wives. Men bosses are toxic abusers to their women subordinates, even if they don’t sexually harass them. I have so much trauma from corporate jobs, and unlike a bad relationship I couldn’t leave. The Girl Boss aesthetic is so far from the reality.
[–]wepersistedThrowaway Account 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
We’re trying to thrive in a system that was created for men with stay at home wives. Men bosses are toxic abusers to their women subordinates, even if they don’t sexually harass them. I have so much trauma from corporate jobs, and unlike a bad relationship I couldn’t leave. The Girl Boss aesthetic is so far from the reality.
Amen, sister. I feel exactly the same way. I've been struggling with staying in my current career for this very reason. I've studied for years to enter a profession that is not only stressful on its own, but also dominated by aggressive, disrespectful, and egocentric LVM. At times, it feels worse than a romantic relationship. I feel trapped. I'm confident I could kick a scrote to the curb in a heartbeat; I can't imagine doing that with my job. At least, not yet.
[–]FDS-GFYFDS Newbie[S] 41 points42 points43 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I appreciate this sentiment. I started my own company for exactly that reason. My time in corporate America taught me what I didn’t like and I am determined to do better by my team. So far at least, 25 people and near zero turnover are proving me right. 💖👍🏻💪🏻
[–]MilkMadeMeFDS Newbie 11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Wow. Way to go! We live through the hard shit to know where we need to go. Jobs, relationships, friendships...proud of you. Sure you are a wonderful leader.
[–]AnKeWaFDS Newbie 20 points21 points22 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
What the hell am I supposed to do then?
I want to help women in my industry, especially queer, disabled, and POC women. I want them to not have to suffer through the same bullshit that I did.
This is only possible if I get into positions of power, where I decide who will be employed, who gets the pay raise, who gets assigned to the prestige projects.
Am I supposed to just wait until some magical karma force comes along that abolishes capitalism and makes everything right?
My folks, women like me, are suffering RIGHT NOW, and I am not abandoning my moral system over it, but do you have any idea how hard it is if you do that?
I am under constant fire from everyone, and I am really tired of hearing that I am somehow a bad person for trying to fight that fight, especially from other feminists.
Sorry for being like that, I had an extremely rough day. I am just tired. But if you have smarter ideas, then please, please share them.
You have a right to be angry. It is a non-stop cycle of bullshit. And clearly you care with all your heart and soul and know that the “status quo” is not good enough. How to effect actual lasting change? How to make people see others unlike them as actual human beings? How to get people out of their comfort zone even know they know the system that comforts them oppresses others? God God, I wish I fucking knew. Change doesn’t seem to come fast enough for our lifetimes, or at all. I don’t lose hope overall, but there are days I fucking do. Or have.
I fought and realized I was losing myself in the process. I was hospitalized for malnutrition and beyond because of the stress of fighting. I couldn’t fight alone in my corporation. I was the only one standing up. I reported everything illegal to “appropriate entities.” But of course nothing happened. Will something happen in the future? Who knows. I pray so. All I know is that in that moment, I had to give up that fight to survive. I will not give up in the long fight, but in the moment, I had to.
I feel that when we band together and demand respect, we can collectively shoulder the heavy weight each of us bears. That means being willing to take on extra weight for the sake of what is right. I’m not sure how many fiscally-driven entities or individual people in this world are willing to do that.
I admire your hard work and dedication. I am sure you have worked your ass off thanklessly or unseen by so many. There are people you have moved so deeply or changed forever also. I hang onto those situations, however small, where I know what I did was morally just. I wish I had more of a tangible, actionable route to offer you, but the truth is, I don’t know. I care about you and respect who you are. Thank you for your honesty and sharing a part of your story.
[–]AcadiaLeather5071Ruthless Strategist 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My favourite fairytale 😎✨👑
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[–]MilkMadeMeFDS Newbie 148 points149 points150 points
(11 children) | Copy Link
[–]dak4f2FDS Newbie 26 points27 points28 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]4BigDataFDS Newbie 6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]greatcathyFDS Newbie 9 points10 points11 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]MilkMadeMeFDS Newbie 10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]XRozeFDS Newbie 55 points56 points57 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]wepersistedThrowaway Account 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]FDS-GFYFDS Newbie[S] 41 points42 points43 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]MilkMadeMeFDS Newbie 11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]AnKeWaFDS Newbie 20 points21 points22 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]MilkMadeMeFDS Newbie 10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]AcadiaLeather5071Ruthless Strategist 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link