As indicated in my previous posts, I think the term "emotional abuse" has been stretched too far in a lot of applications.

I do think that particular actions in the name of limerence, or oneitis, can be justified even if they are misconstrued as "emotional abuse."

Limerence is non-narcissistic selfish love, for good and for bad. While it may be about one's object of limerence, it is much more all about who your mind thinks will address all your unmet needs from childhood, needs that arose due to parental neglect.

The particular actions that I have in mind are the ones committed by late bloomers who settle even while in a state of limerence... for someone they never met at all or maybe just once or twice. This is not about developing a romantic obsession with one's SO.

Highly argumentative phrases like "I would be with her and divorce you in an instant" would be common.

This would be uttered by non-narcissistic men who have no choice but to resort to trauma dumping in order to communicate bluntly their issues, whether limerence or fearful avoidant attachment. No amount of narcissism-related emotional supply as a response can address this. Such supply is all about worshipping narcissists, while the supply that's really needed is comprehensive compassion.

Another phrase in the same vein is "I love you, but I never fell in love with you."

Limerence is weaponized extensively in the relationship. The challenge would be for limerents' SOs to become willing to understand limerence as being linked to unmet needs from childhood.

Additional Comments

https://np.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1cv6xy8/late_bloomer_breakup_who_is_really_at_fault/

I do wonder if that 46-year-old ND with only one girlfriend was also limerent. I wonder if he did or did not weaponize limerence throughout his short, 8-month relationship with his one and only girlfriend.