Are people of average attractiveness/SMV having a harder time pairing off than the top or the bottom? If so, why do you think this is?

bromance946 · 2015-09-28T01:30:04+00:00

I think it's maybe because super uggos knew they were uggo from childhood and have decided to settle a long time ago, whereas SMV 3-8's still maintain delusions of grandeur.

dragoness_leclerq · 2015-09-28T11:34:33+00:00

Have you witnessed similar trends? Do you have any hypothesis about why this is?

I have. And I think that's mainly because those two groups of people know exactly where they stand.

In all honesty though, the people I've seen having the most difficulty pairing off are the ones who have a warped/over-inflated sense of self and/or the kinds of people they can realistically attract. Some have been really ugly or considerably attractive as well (because it's quite possible to be a 7.5/8 person but only chase 9s and 10s). But of course, of most of those people just so happen to be average (because most people are).

One of my male friends recently complained that he was sick of the fact that the only women who showed interest in him were...well, homely. I let that slide without comment until a few days later when he then complained that a pretty/fit collegue of his whom he'd asked out had rejected him.

I told him pretty straight up exactly why that was after that, - which was, of course, that she was out of his league. His response? "Well, she's not that far out of my league though..."

If he wasn't serious I would've laughed. The sad thing is, I've heard some variation of that phrase uttered recently by a few of my friends and it's gotten to a point where I'm annoyed. They not only over-inflate their own level of attractiveness, but deflate the level of attractiveness of others or assume that they're not all that far apart in looks after all; eg, "Well he/she's not that hot" or, "Oh come on, I'm not that ugly".

Those people will and do stay perpetually single and/or unsuccessful at maintaining relationships because they either refuse to acknowledge their real SMV or grasp the concept of just how far out of their league they're aiming.

Xemnas81 · 2015-09-28T01:30:02+00:00

Same reason as why teachers know when a piece of work is an A and know when it's an F but find a hard time marking a piece as a B or C, or B+ or B. Ambiguity is ambiguous.

4-7s (or 3-8s in your book) don't always know (or accept) their actual SMV and naturally want the best they can, so inflate their value as much as they can in their mind and then feel entitled to that new inflated value, so they're then resentful for 'settling' with someone who's actually in their league. Especially true for Western women imo but also true of many men.

Cliques pairing off is just part of the Demographics principle; identity is polarising, attracts the compatible towards us and repels the incompatible away from us.

downunderit · 2015-09-28T02:50:34+00:00

Nope I disagree I think that this is something you just can't measure or identify. Just because you see a lot of ugly people pairing up and no average ones doesn't mean that its a universal truth.

I've seen lots of average people find love.

TheGreasyPole · 2015-09-28T11:08:40+00:00

Well,

I'd say people so low down on the scale pair off more often... Because they grab any chance they get with both hands if it comes along.

You know. If you're 27.... and no guy has EVER wanted to stick around... And now one does ? Nab THAT guy.

Similarly, girls at the extreme upper end have their pick of quality guys, and generally grab the one they want because they CAN grab anyone they want.

Girls in the middle have options and they're trying to maximise their choice.... But they ALSO can't expect to land all the guys they fix their eyes on... So they are in this kind of no-mans land between the low smv/high smv lines.

Think of it as a poker game.

Those dealt extremely poor hands are happy to grab any kind of win they sense an opportunity for.... those with extremely good hands just play through until the win... It's those in the middle that have a tough time finding the best way to play the game that have to balance their strategy to get the outcome they want.

cxj · 2015-09-28T02:02:22+00:00

Women can fuck above their league so a 50th percentile woman won't fuck a 50th percentile man. She won't get commitment from the 80th percentile man but she can still fuck him. We suck at educating women about relationships though so instead of try to get the best man they can to stick around, they assume that men who fuck them are within their league and then wonder why no man ever sticks around and then they cry while writing articles about where all the gold men have gone.

Cyralea · 2015-09-28T18:01:24+00:00

I think it has to do with men's boner tolerances. Men, generally speaking, will fuck the top 70th percentile (HB4 --> HB10). This means that any woman in that range has the potential to be fucked by hot men.

Women who are HB1-HB3 never have this experience. Their expectations are tempered based on their reality. Other uggoes are their only options. They don't feel like male 7+'s are a reality. Conversely, female HB4-HB8's all feel like they can snag the calibre of alpha they fucked earlier in life.

Female HB9-10's have their pick of the market. They get to be as selective as they want, as men will throw everything they have to get at them. No problem for them to pick out male 9-10's.

This is why you see the discrepancy you do.

cxj · 2015-09-28T17:24:59+00:00

The top of the bell curve doesn't need to have any delusions about where they stand, because they can reasonably get whoever they want. They've never or rarely wanted someone and failed to get them, because the top is on parity or better than everyone.

The bottom of the bell curve gave up/is well aware of their standing and probably at some point decided to settle without a lot of fuss. Hopes crushed, no need to hold out.

The middle all want to believe they can do better than they can, because of that one time someone in the top lowered themselves to them, and they keep dreaming about it.

goatismycopilot · 2015-09-28T10:16:00+00:00

Hard to say what average really is but people who want to pair off, pair off.

HarryLillis · 2015-09-28T17:02:08+00:00

I don't think you can objectively measure attractiveness such as on a normal distribution, which would be necessary to test this idea. I also don't think it would play out this way even if you could, since there are people who are considered by many to be outwardly attractive but who can't pair off effectively because they're unkind, or stupid. Yet there's also the problem with separating them, as people who are stupid, unkind, lacking in confidence, or incompetent also seem less physically attractive.

Furthermore, if your idea were true, and people of average attractiveness had more difficulty pairing off, then we'd have to observe that most people are single. I don't know the statistics but I don't think that's true.

ReginaRadfem · 2015-09-28T21:52:12+00:00

the problem generally has to do with misogyny, sexism and massive male entitlement. In a society riddled with unrealistic beauty standards for women, slut shaming, sexual objectification, and rape, is it any wonder people have trouble dating?

Title	Are people of average attractiveness/SMV having a harder time pairing off than the top or the bottom? If so, why do you think this is?
Author	cxj
Upvotes	8
Comments	45
Date	September 28, 2015 1:25 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/3mn88w/are_people_of_average_attractivenesssmv_having_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/are-people-of-average-attractivenesssmv-having-a.279358 https://theredarchive.com/post/279358

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