Separated beds

Teacup000 · 2023-01-10T19:21:55+00:00

I think decent sleep is more important for maintaining intimacy than sharing the same bed. Poor sleep greatly contributes to irritability. Four nights of six hours of sleep has the same detrimental effect on the mind as one all nighter; it just keeps compiling.

My husband and I sleep separately as needed while the kids are babies and such. It's crucial. One of us getting a good night's rest makes all the difference. I can catch up on my sleep during the day when the kids nap.

Wife_and_Mama · 2023-01-10T19:09:07+00:00

I don't think there's anything inherently unhealthy about married couples having separate beds if it's the best option. I would love separate bedrooms if we had the space and my husband would go for it. He snores and rolls around too much. I'm a somewhat light sleeper. He considers it a must for married people to share a bed, though, and I respect that.

Edited to add: My husband actually does choose to sleep in our converted garage on occasion, if he's been drinking or one of us isn't feeling well. I think he spent the last week of my pregnancy there. It's never a solution to a fight, but it is a nice middle ground.

sunglasses90 · 2023-01-10T18:47:22+00:00

I think everyone is different and you should do what works for you both. Sleep is important. It’s kinda taboo in some regions not to sleep in the same bed.

Scared-Tea-8911 · 2023-01-10T18:19:21+00:00

I think cuddling up at night is it’s own special form of intimacy… but if you really cannot sleep in the same bed together and have tried options (like a memory foam mattress, using separate blankets so no one overheats, addressed issues like sleep apnea etc.), it is ok to prioritize restful sleep and have the option of separate beds.

However, I would not split up sleeping to “boost intimacy”… there are many ways to do that without sacrificing sharing a marital bed which can be deeply symbolic and special to many people. It is where the two of you are making your nest together… but separate beds might make you feel emotionally distant.

youllknowwhenitstime · 2023-01-10T18:24:15+00:00

Ha, I have spent a lot of time in a culture where this is the norm for just under two weeks each month. Some people love it, some people hate it. I will say personally any period of separation results in much greater intensity for us upon being reunited. Shifting back and forth is probably ideal - you get variety and the best of both worlds. I wouldn't recommend separated beds as an all-the-time thing, though, even if it was a historical upper class norm. And obviously you should never push for a change like that if your spouse isn't keen.

angelicasinensis · 2023-01-10T19:25:34+00:00

My husband gets up with the kids and sleeps in their beds sometimes as he falls asleep with them, so I understand. I do not like to cuddle while sleeping, I just want to sleep.

kirbypuff_ · 2023-01-10T23:30:17+00:00

I quite like the idea. I have a huge fear of becoming "used" to my partner and taking each other for granted. I like the idea of sleeping in the same bed being a treat :)

Taters0290 · 2023-01-11T03:30:41+00:00

We started sleeping in separate beds about 20 years ago. Neither of us like to snuggle while sleeping anyway. We then moved to separate bedrooms and love it. I’m a night owl, he’s not. He snores loudly. I toss and turn, flip and flop all night. He used to work shift work, so at one point we were on separate floors. He had a whole living space downstairs-bedroom, living, full bath, etc.

It hasn’t affected intimacy one way or another for us.

anothergoodbook · 2023-01-11T13:17:56+00:00

We’ve had periods of sleeping separately for the sake of sleep. Whether it’s babies or snoring or even just one of us being sick. I think sleep is important and without that there isn’t intimacy.

LeicaRedEye · 2023-01-11T19:52:14+00:00

With illness, babies, different schedules, messed up sleep patterns during covid etc we often play musical beds and we end up sleeping in different beds or couches, bed sharing with babies, someone crashing in a guest bedroom for quiet sake, etc. Intimacy was never a problem. Sleep is different and separate from intimate activity. Sleep is necessary for health and wellbeing, so do whatever works for you.

kokoremu · 2023-01-15T01:09:36+00:00

I don't think it's anything wrong with sleeping in separate rooms. Me and my partner do for the fact that we get better rest to be able to be productive. A full night's rest is important

AutoModerator · 2023-01-10T17:49:40+00:00

Title: Separated beds

Full text: How do you think as a woman about sleeping in separated beds you and your husband in the aim to keep intimacy(when you are in the same bed you become accustomed to each other) and to have a sound sleep.

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_Pumpkin_Muffin · 2023-01-10T20:06:14+00:00

It's an option if one or both partners can't get any (good) sleep together. The "not get accostumed to each other"... well. Should spouses live in different homes too?

Title	Separated beds
Author	Most_Specialist1015
Upvotes	8
Comments	25
Date	January 10, 2023 5:49 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/108g0mz/separated_beds/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/separated-beds.1146221 https://theredarchive.com/post/1146221

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