What age to start dating for marriage?

leosandlattes · 2025-02-23T15:31:31+00:00

It’s very common to date for 2-4 years before getting engaged. So keep in mind that while you’re 24 now and not ready, you may find yourself at 28 and ready, but then having to start the process from scratch.

I think even if you’re not dating “for marriage,” it’s best to date and look for qualities that could translate into marriage. Even if out of simple self-respect.

BothAnybody1520 · 2025-02-23T18:13:45+00:00

The simple answer is that you shouldn’t be “dating” unless you’re searching for a suitable husband.

FLRSamurai · 2025-02-23T19:15:32+00:00

Dating is for the exclusive purpose of marriage. The length of time you should date before getting married isn’t important it’s when you find the right one.

mandarin_33 · 2025-02-23T15:27:29+00:00

Since it usually takes a few years to know if the person you are with is marriage material (and WANTS to marry you too!) now would be a good time to start.

At 24 the world is your oyster as a woman. You are young, now is the easiest time to attract someone high-quality. Especially if you take care of your looks and health.

For example, if you meet someone at 24, get engaged at 27 and married at 28, you might have your first kid at 29. Time goes by quite fast, especially if you want children.

You don't have to be ready for marriage (and kids) the moment you start dating someone, the need for those things often come with time as the love and trust deepens, and you mature as you age.

In a man, I would prioritise things like: dependability, integrity and honesty, patience, discipline and stability, intelligence, ambitiousness, can handle their emotions aka doesn't yell or berate you, and someone who shows how much they care.

I prioritised these things in a man and am having a wonderful time. Being with him has required and inspired me to try and be the best woman I can be, so self-improvement is very important in dating.

Good luck! It's good that you are asking about these things at a young age, it gives you the upper hand, trust me!

youllknowwhenitstime · 2025-02-23T20:38:36+00:00

It's a cliche, but it's true. You'll never "feel ready" - for marriage, for the more demanding promotion, for the new challenge in life. If you know marriage is something you want, then you have to do what you need to do to achieve it rationally. If your end goal is marriage, why are you dating not-for-marriage? You'll only end up creating emotional attachments that can't be fully realized the way you want because you both didn't intend for it to get that serious when you met, or worse, baggage and terrible relationship habits from spending so much time around non-marriage-quality men (I see this a LOT).

But the "recommended age" depends on culture. And right now the American culture... doesn't work. We have low marriage rates, high divorce rates (although they are not at an all time high), low fertility rates, and shockingly low rates of children being raised by a married couple. That culture that doesn't work says to spend your early 20's in casual relationships, mid-late 20's in LTR's, and by 30 turn your latest LTR into marriage. There are two approaches you can take:

Follow along the American norm and ramp up using your wiles in your mid-late 20's, or
Put in the work in a different way by bucking the norm, using your youthful years as a tool to achieve your marriage goal, and either being willing to date with slightly older men who are also ready to date with marital intent or be capable of catching the highest RMV men around of your own age who are also bucking the norm by also being ready to date with marital intent.

I heavily encourage the latter because I think people underestimate the power of time and youth, but you'll find plenty of RPW guides and reading material for either approach.

My subculture had a much lower average age of marriage compared to standard American culture due to expectations of waiting until marriage. By your age I had just aged out of the "ideal" age group where the most desirable singles, of either sex, were. I solved this by marrying younger. 😂

Ok-Cry8418 · 2025-03-02T19:43:37+00:00

what’s the point of dating if not for marriage? genuine question

Wife_and_Mama · 2025-02-23T15:30:52+00:00

Different people are ready for marriage at different times. If you know that you eventually want to get married, your focus should be on getting yourself there, especially if you hope to find a more traditional man. For me, that meant losing weight, learning to do my hair and makeup, dressing cute, getting my finances in order, and figuring out how to talk to men after getting divorced at 23. It also meant dealing with some emotional issues and deciding if I even really wanted marriage and family, or if I just thought I did because people told me that.

For you, getting yourself ready to be ready for marriage might mean finding friends who have more similar goals, as opposed to ones who want to go out drinking all the time. Maybe it means paying off some debt, reevaluating alternative fashion choices that turn off the kind of men you want, losing weight. It's okay to not be ready for marriage, but that's no excuse not to improve yourself in a way where, if you come home from a bad date, see your dog waiting at the top of the stairs in your single girl apartment, and think "Yeah... I'm over this," you're where you need to be. I was 26 when that happened, for reference.

I wouldn't necessarily suggest dating a man who wants marriage and family right away, but I also wouldn't suggest wasting time and energy on men who are clearly not marriage material. For instance, avoid the guy who doesn’t "believe" in marriage or even monogamy, the man who isn’t sure if he ever wants kids (assuming you do), the one who can't figure his career out and may very well sell everything to live in a van next week. These guys can be fun, of course, but just like you should be at least moving in the direction of wanting that commitment and stability, so should he. Otherwise, you risk coming home to your sometimes rockstar, mostly unemployed boyfriend and thinking "Yeah. I'm over this," even though you really do love him.

Radiant_Ad5280 · 2025-02-25T02:46:46+00:00

If you’re an adult I think each person you date is basically on an interview to be a spouse. I personally don’t think we should date just to date and then late on in life become serious!

If you’re dating with the intention to be married someone, you will ask tough questions from the beginning to see if you see yourself lifetime with this person or not

Consistent-Citron513 · 2025-02-24T05:01:52+00:00

It varies by the individual. I was in my first serious relationship at about 24/25, but I was nowhere near ready for marriage and I didn't see it as important as I do now. By 29, I was in a better space and felt that I was ready but wasn't dating guys who had good qualities for marriage. I didn't fully understand that they were unheatlhy at the time, but my intent was "date to marry" and I was only with people who said they felt the same. In short, I started at looking at 28/29 and that's when I felt ready. I've known some who were ready sooner.

ArkNemesis00 · 2025-02-24T15:27:45+00:00

I find we make better decisions when we think we'll potentially have to deal with the consequences for a long time.

If we date for a boyfriend, we're more likely to compromise or overlook things because he just has to be good enough to alleviate our present day needs, such as loneliness.

Ok_Outside149 · 2025-02-23T15:28:44+00:00

I think 24 is a good age to start thinking about it, to be ready to start doing it at 25-26. I don’t think there’s any point beforehand, most couples I know that got really serious under 23 are already coparenting/divorced, by only 25-27. I think once you’ve lived independently for a bit is a good starting point

AutoModerator · 2025-02-23T15:08:38+00:00

Title: What age to start dating for marriage?

Author Columba-livia77

Full text: I'm curious to know everyone's opinions about this. Someone at my work recently got engaged, and it's got me thinking. I'm not ready yet (I'm 24 and single), but it is in the back of my mind since it's probably the most important decision you'll make, and you probably want to give yourself a lot of time. I guess possibly more time again, if you wanted a few kids as well.

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Conscious-Fix3114 · 2026-04-02T20:25:13+00:00

l What to start date It’s that same age 24 19 years old

Conscious-Fix3114 · 2026-04-02T20:26:24+00:00

to start datingIt’s that same age 19 24

HalfwaydonewithEarth · 2025-02-23T21:28:55+00:00

It depends on how extreme you want to be with your dating skills and what type of life you want.

mistressusa · 2025-02-23T16:28:19+00:00

I tell my daughters that once they graduated from high school, they should only date men they can see a future with. I was ok with them dating the boy who got kicked out of his boarding school for drug dealing or the boy who had a known penchant for dating multiple girls at the same time. But once they hit college, I expect them to date men who share similar values and are serious about them. Relationships can take several years to lead to marriage, if at all, so idk what the point would be to not "date for marriage".

Title	What age to start dating for marriage?
Author	Columba-livia77
Upvotes	7
Comments	39
Date	February 23, 2025 3:08 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1iwc62d/what_age_to_start_dating_for_marriage/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/what-age-to-start-dating-for-marriage.1544708 https://theredarchive.com/post/1544708

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