The Difference Between Dominance and Abuse

FleetingWish · 2013-10-10T22:29:59+00:00

The reason this is so scary to women is that we look to men for dominence, support, and emotional stability. If they fly off the handle getting angry, they are no longer are the calm, rational, beings that we can trust.

crankypants15 · 2013-10-11T13:43:32+00:00

I'd like to list my take on Alphas.

An Alpha is calm and confident.
An Alpha has no need of labels, except to explain himself to others.
An Alpha doesn't boast of being Alpha, except maybe to illustrate a point about what is/is not Alpha.
An Alpha meets his SO's needs while still maintaining healthy boundaries. An Alpha is clear on getting his needs met also. (Betas often put their needs aside.)
An Alpha knows how to listen to both sides of a story, and then decide a course of action.
When their SO is wrong, an Alpha will call her on it. Likewise, if a woman can't admit she's wrong, she's not LTR material.
If an Alpha has to do more than raise his voice, then there's something else wrong with the relationship. But voice-raising should be the last choice.
An Alpha can talk about things like a rational adult.
An Alpha has dealt with his issues so anger is not needed.
An Alpha is so confident he doesn't care what society thinks of him. He dresses the way he wants, drinks and smokes what he wants, and tells society to "screw off".
An Alpha plans for the future of his family.
An Alpha doesn't need substances to self-medicate.
An Alpha is smart, and understands men and women have different needs.
A woman who does not recognize that I'm an intelligent, secure leader is not worthy of LTR. Men really need to understand this. What this means is women need to know how to identify a true leader, and not a "wigger" (faker).
An Alpha has a lifetime record of making goals and achieving them. And I mean big goals, like college, good grades, getting a good job.
An Alpha can admit when he's wrong, and fix any existing problem with himself.
I'll hold my SO's purse while she tries on a shirt, so it doesn't get stolen. I really don't care what you think of me. Neither of us want her purse to get stolen. When she purchases the shirt, she gets the purse, and I hold the packages, because I want to. Not because I have to.
Dominance, leadership, and Alpha is not the same as abuse.

NataliyaKochergova · 2013-10-12T20:19:06+00:00

Very sad that this even needs to be said. But say anything even slightly close to "discipline" and "dominance", and trolls are screaming "rape" and "abuse".

But it's a good addition as an explanation for new people :) The abusive man is simply a bad leader. He rules through fear of beatings, rather than through fear of disappointing him. A good leader, among doing other things, inspires you to be better because loss of his good opinion is emotionally painful.

jakethesnake76 · 2013-10-10T18:14:13+00:00

the problem is that current feminism/psychobabble/"anger management" industry has defined any thing a man does to get or maintain "hand" in a relationship as abuse. raising his voice, refusing to give her money, hitting a wall, leaving, using logic in an argument, sticking to his guns, "calling her names" even if they are true, like telling a fat girlfriend shes gotten fat, complaining about her...anything at all that a man does that causes a women to have negative feelings or doubt HER superior place in the relationship, that makes her feel lower status, that would put HER rather than him in the supplicating position is now defined as abuse. you dont even have to go as far as finding a man who beats a woman with a spoon over nothing to find "abuse" in any heterosexual relationship in which the man does anything other than capitulate to the woman at all times. and with this insane extension of the concept of abuse came the actual power to call the police on the man for "making her feel afraid" and to utterly destroy his life, basically just for not peacefully submitting to her. all fighting in relationships comes down to a dominance struggle, and it is now illegal abuse for men to exhibit dominance outside of hilariously phony BDSM games, which i actually cant believe any sane man messes around with anyway, how would any man trust a woman enough to do things like that with her and not fear she might suddenly change her mind or "get scared " and call the police on him because he did it wrong? but thats another convo entirely

edit--this is found in anger management readers they hand out to men being "reeducated"

http://www.sussexcountyjustice.com/images/sentence/wheel.gif

Whisper · 2013-10-10T19:08:51+00:00

The difference between discipline and battery, both when we're talking about wives/girlfriends and about children, is how it happens.

Lose your shit and start swinging? Battery.

Sit them down, explain what rule they broke, explain why it's a rule, calmly apply the prescribed punishment, and then hug them because it's over with? Discipline.

When dealing with people who are in your power, it's your responsibility to make sure they know what's expected of them, and to keep your own cool and control yourself.

Men who spank their women are doing it right. Men who express their emotions with their fists need to be stopped.

[deleted] · 2013-10-11T18:13:31+00:00

[permanently deleted]

SoftHarem · 2013-10-10T21:55:49+00:00

If she doesn't calm down after you shake her a little then she is probably psychotic and you need to next her. The last time I heard about someone getting beat with a spoon was when my mother broke one over me and I laughed in her face. Don't hit people with spoons, unless its on the ass and she deserves it.

berryokt · 2013-10-12T20:27:24+00:00

I don't understand what he did wrong. He even counted down seconds for her to comply. Its sad that a woman can back out of her understanding with a man about dominance and discipline. A man should be able to beat his wife when she is bad without society running to her aid. And I am saying nothing I refuse to experience myself.

Title	The Difference Between Dominance and Abuse
Author	margerym
Upvotes	21
Comments	38
Date	October 10, 2013 5:57 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1o5rie/the_difference_between_dominance_and_abuse/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/the-difference-between-dominance-and-abuse.84018 https://theredarchive.com/post/84018

Comments

3. An Alpha doesn't boast of being Alpha, except maybe to illustrate a point about what is/is not Alpha.

17. I'll hold my SO's purse while she tries on a shirt, so it doesn't get stolen. I really don't care what you think of me. Neither of us want her purse to get stolen. When she purchases the shirt, she gets the purse, and I hold the packages, because I want to. Not because I have to.