Long Distance Relationships... Can they work?

LaBlondeFille · 2014-05-06T22:53:59+00:00

It only works if you are legitimately going to marry this person. If you are "just dating" it will almost never work. When relationships go long distance and you think you will 'work it out later', it will usually fail. You have to have concrete plans for the future and be serious about it.

Keeping the interest is more about making it clear how valuable you still are. You have to keep your partner knowing that you are worth more than the women he sees around. That the women in his life can't hold a candle to a forever with you. That is rather difficult, but it can be done, especially if you fill a specific niche with each other. Something neither of you can get from the others around you.

Its almost worse for the girl. Your hypergamy will be fighting you the entire time and you will also be half tempted to get beta-orbiters. You need to avoid all male contact pretty much because it will poison you. In your mind, he has to be better than everyone around you. He has to be your only male friend especially if you can't see each other for months. If you start making male friends you will inevitably rely on them more than your SO and the relationship will crumble.

Trust is important. Your SO has to trust you 100% and you have to trust your SO. If its not 100% it will fail even if neither of you break that trust. Doubt eats away at the relationship.

So all this being said makes it statistically unlikely that itll work out. But it can. So good luck lol.

torilikefood · 2014-05-06T20:50:48+00:00

Not a RPer, but mine did for 5 months. I would visit him once a month for a week, we did the online/texting thing non-stop... but after a while I realized unless one of us moved, it's pointless. I bought a ticket and moved in with him, and it's been great ever since. Our 3 year is this Sept, and we have had maybe 5 hiccups, all minor.

I may have just been lucky.. but it can really only work if one of you will make the leap to be closer to the other.

happyhousewife1 · 2014-05-06T21:09:36+00:00

I believe it can work. But there has to be an end date to it. As in, you have to know when you can be together physically. Having that to look forward to was the only thing that made the distance bearable for me.

In terms of keeping things interesting. Honestly I tried not to think too much about that. You'll drive yourself insane trying to come up with cutesy ideas. I sent packages and that.. letters with silly jokes. Skyped A LOT.

Its not an easy road. But we did it for a year and a half.

LaBlondeFille · 2014-05-06T21:09:08+00:00

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sugarcrush · 2014-05-06T23:55:15+00:00

I did it for two years. In the end we broke up due to him cheating, but I'm not sure it was related to the distance because he also did it during blocks of time when we were together (like 3 months being together over the summer and I was begging HIM for sex). If I was still single/dating, I would never do it again. Within the context of our marriage I would do everything possible to prevent it, obviously short work trips and the like are going to happen but if he was going to be gone for more than a couple weeks I would try to work it so I could also be there for some or all of the time. Being in an LDR was hell to me, I crave personal closeness and touch too much to ever be okay with it again and if I could go back in time I wouldn't do it in the first place (as long as there was a guarantee everything would still be the same in the future, I like where I am now :) )

MrsStrom · 2014-05-07T02:25:42+00:00

Mr Strom works out of town quite regularly. He's gone just long enough for me to mid him like crazy, then he comes home and we make like bunnies for a few days. He leaves and I cry. Rinse and repeat. Truthfully, I like winter because he's home. The rest of the year can suck an egg.

2014-05-06T21:13:58+00:00

They only work if you have an end in mind. I was in one that had no defined ending, just a "hope it works out! Love conquers all!" attitude. Foolish! It fell apart after years of misery and horniness, only seeing each other every few months for days at a time. If there is no set ending to it, then it is not worth the trouble. Though only you can determine for yourself whether or not it is worth it depending on what you are willing to tolerate.

I'm a guy, but that is my take on it. Many years and many tears were wasted on holding onto the girl I believed to be "the one"... My painful BP days... Hope it works out for you!

sierrasecho · 2014-05-06T22:50:19+00:00

Unless you have established a relationship already (a year plus already) and proven what value you do bring to his life... AND there is a commitment for the future at a defined time, I would continue looking closer to home.

I would see a man who "commits" to an LDR without your previous "proof of value" to be pretty low value (DLV). Or lying about the "commitment" side if you do not have a good base already.

Bakerofpie · 2014-05-07T03:33:56+00:00

Personally, I couldn't do it. Hubs and I were in a semi-LDR, if you could even call it that. We only lived an hour apart, but even that was too much and we moved in together after four months. I think that if we were separated by more distance or for some reason had to wait longer I would have held out, but I would have dropped everything and done absolutely anything in my power to be near him as quickly as possible.

Some people manage to be long distance for years and still end up getting married eventually. It's about knowing yourself. I definitely don't think it's for everyone, but I do think it's possible for it to work out, as long as you have concrete plans for the future and aren't just indefinitely "dating."

taraga185 · 2014-05-07T05:53:11+00:00

My husband and I dated long distance my final year of college. So summer to following summer when I moved in with him. We made it work by talking on the phone daily and I drove to see him every other weekend (when he was off, his schedule alternated at the time). I was a live in nanny so he couldn't stay with me. Looking back I can't believe I drove that much (it was five hours each way) but it was important to me and I knew after a few months there was a real possibility of a future. It also helped that there was an end in sight, when I graduated school. In my my anecdotal experience it can work but it sucks. (although reunions can be pretty spectacular). We've been together almost eight years total, married five.

aaron_the_just · 2014-05-07T16:24:07+00:00

My opinion is "not usually". A woman in an LDR runs a high risk of becoming a plate, and isn't even very high up on the pecking order. There are just too many stories out there about guys who end up seeing someone new on the side, and the woman in the LDR finds out about it months later.

jhangel77 · 2014-05-10T06:12:57+00:00

I was in a LDR for 9 months(with long weekend trips every 2 weeks to see him); me in Oregon, him in Washington. We always had a plan that I would move up to Washington (because of other reasons) but I had to get enough money together for a nest egg. I finally moved up there and got a studio apt across from him. I lived there for 1.5 years then we both found a place together to move into. In September we are gonna celebrate our 4 year anniversary; so yeah I think LDR's can work. You just need to have 100% communication and trust. Utilize computer/skype/text as much as you can. Every case is different but in my experience, those characteristics make a good LDR that can work.

Droi · 2014-05-06T21:49:37+00:00

Short answer: No.

Reason: We want sex.

Title	Long Distance Relationships... Can they work?
Author	LaBlondeFille
Upvotes	7
Comments	45
Date	May 6, 2014 8:24 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/24w5y3/long_distance_relationships_can_they_work/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/long-distance-relationships-can-they-work.84466 https://theredarchive.com/post/84466

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