Giving up on being feminine

JadedByEntropy · 2021-08-17T18:35:46+00:00

This isnt a feminine problem. Its a childhood problem. Challenge yourself to grow up, take care of yourself and your chores no matter where you live. Take control of your life by learning the skills to be independent and dependable rather than worrying about parties. You shouldn't be going off if you aren't capable of doing your own laundry and shouldn't be going out to eat if you cant make yourself food. You obviously skipped steps.

Jenneapolis · 2021-08-18T00:02:46+00:00

You really don’t say what your situation is - are you in a relationship and does it require you to stay at home? If you aren’t then don’t force some thing that isn’t there for you - nothing says you have to be a RPW. There’s lots of different relationship models you can choose from, it doesn’t have to be this one.

LivingfreewithSophie · 2021-08-17T20:17:45+00:00

It's on the back of your mind because of feministic propaganda, plain and simple :)

Remember, this is no one way to be a homemaker or a feminine woman.

What makes you feel feminine will make you the most feminine - but it has to fit with you.

For homemaking, it's your responsibility IF you want a more traditonal relations/one with a masculine man - but that doesn't mean you have to do everything by yoursel. Maybe you work a little to and you hire some help, which you then manage and oversee.

-

For mentality I recommend you read the 1963 copyright version of fascinating womanhood.

Also think about this: Why are women praised for working for stranger, who will replace them in a mintte over taking care of their families, who loves them more than anyone on the entire earth?

If you want to spice up your homemaking life or responsibilities, then do it :) Maybe start a side hustle, begin to volunteer, take some courses and make friends.

Think about what is is about being a homemaker which makes you unhappy - if you actually are on already.

Are you afraid you will be borred or lonely? Or maybe that you will not be appreciated as a homemaker by your future husband? Deal with that fear and remind youself, that you can always find new exciting things to do and try (not to be borred) and that you can make new friends to hang out with or that you ca choose a husband who appriciate your homemaking side <3

If you feel like cooking and cleaning are meaningless imagine where you/your family would be if you didn't do it. It would derail you/their lives copletely. No cooking and cleaning is a degraded life - Nourishing yourself and your family make you/them smart and healthy so you/they can live their best life. It's incredible important and valueable.

Cleaning brings peace to everyonone in the home.

Look for the deeper value <3 Listen to Jordan B. Peterson about the importance of making your bed and exspand that mindset - You are bringing order to chaos ;)

thepretendchristian · 2021-08-18T01:23:15+00:00

There needs to be symbiosis between you and your husband in order to make it work. You shouldn’t feel like your lesser than him because you do the domestic work just like he shouldn’t feel lesser than you because he is responsible for the paying the bills and doing the more physically challenging work. Both of you have to be working for each other and with each other to achieve a bigger goal. It’s divide and conquer.

As for not knowing basic domestic work, it’s never too late to learn and you absolutely have go learn regardless of your relationship status. Married, single, employed, unemployed, doesn’t matter: a clean house and cooking skills are essential to your mental and physical health. So unless you plan on eating out every day and hiring a cleaning crew, you’re just gonna have to learn these things.

I think you feel this way for the same reason I felt that way. We’ve been told that staying at home is wasting our potential, that money is what we should be chasing, that domestic work is below people who have power. Potential, money, power. Personally, I’d rather outsource my ‘potential’ to my community rather than some corporation, I’m in no need for extra money, and what even is power and why am I told that I need it and should want it?

To each their own. Don’t force yourself to be something you’re not (but seriously, you gotta learn how to keep a household running smoothly even if your single).

sister-goose · 2021-08-17T23:48:45+00:00

Also, why do you feel like "less than human" for taking care of a man? Who wants you to think that way? Who exactly benefits from your labor, instead, when you convince yourself that a loving husband doesn't deserve it? There are other forces (corporations) competing with provider men for female labor. They will convince you not to find happiness in homemaking, because they want to use your labor to fuel the constant death spiral of industrialized society. Who really deserves you more?

sister-goose · 2021-08-17T23:47:12+00:00

It's never too late to learn homemaking skills!! Take it from someone who grew up eating microwave dinners on the floor in a hoarder house. YOU CAN SUCCEED AT MAKING A BEAUTIFUL HOME! It's absolutely necessary to go in with a positive attitude towards creating, maintaining, and beautifying your sanctuary! You will be so much happier when your environment improves, and it's up to you to change it. Whenever you cook or clean, think of how grateful future you (even like tomorrow you) will be for having a clean, cozy home and delicious food. Find joy in the small moments. IN MY OPINION, when you find the right man, you will naturally feel happier to do these things. Great men inspire their women to serve. When you really love him, and he loves you just as much, chances are you will want to give him as much as you possibly can. But, of course, be sure that YOU are happy taking care of your home first!

Yung4Yrs · 2021-08-18T14:24:18+00:00

From a guy's perspective, married to a nurse 35 years. In an LTR currently w/another nurse. Neither are good cooks. I cooked/cook a lot of the food. If you treat your man (in an LTR) like he matters in your sexual relationship only a jerk is gonna treat you badly if you don't have some skills that come naturally. But in home chores, cooking, AND in the sexual relationship; teamwork is the key. It requires trust, communication, not seeing yourself as more important than the other person. When your default assumption is that a "man" will "just take advantage of my 'niceness' and treat me like trash", you have judged an entire gender in advance. Since this is an automatic response in you, you must realize that you've been brainwashed early in your life by the default feminist view that women are the superior gender. Or, you assume that both genders in your country's culture are by default selfish. Either of these positions is immature and a negative view on life. Either one will short-circuit your ability to enjoy an LTR as a mature adult. The beauty of life is that you can untrain your unreasonable view and become a mature adult. All it takes is a little courage. Best wishes.

brazelafromtheblock · 2021-08-21T01:22:42+00:00

You are not supposed to be homemaking for just any man and if you are not secure in his love for you and the trust built into you’re relationship, your fears and concerns are well warranted. Don’t ignore your gut. When you are sure of someone’s love and their place in your life, you won’t have such anxiety. But when this isn’t the case, take a step back and examine the root of the situation. Best wishes <3

LateralThinker13 · 2021-08-23T15:31:32+00:00

I don't have basic homemaking skills

Take a class. These are good for you, let alone your partner.

I feel trapped being at home to be honest.

Psych issue 1. Being at home should be relaxing and a refuge. If it isn't, there's likely childhood trauma there.

I was overseas for college and life was full with lots of fun and partying. How do I overcome this?

I rode the CC and had no responsibilities and enjoyed not having to grow up.

Also I feel like I'm less than a human whenever I do cleaning or cooking for a man.

Psych issue 2. I assume you don't have a problem cleaning or cooking for yourself, right? It's just doing it for others where you feel less human. Sounds like a lack of caring about others.

I feel like he'd just take advantage of my 'niceness' and treat me like trash.

Psych Issue 3. Pure fear. If you don't want to be taken advantage of, develop boundaries and vet the men you spend time on.

Also, do women take advantage of your niceness and treat you like trash? Because I'm betting that either they do, and you let them, or they don't, and you're just fearmongering on men.

That said, if you've been a party girl, then yeah, men will "take advantage" of the opportunity. If you offer it for free, why would they pay for it?

I know this mindset is wrong, but I don't know why it's on the back of my mind and I can't really shake it off.

Get. Mental. Help. You didn't write much, but what you did is full of issues as I illustrated above, and I'm just scratching the surface.

sinisterforces · 2021-08-28T16:14:25+00:00

Re homemaking: where I live it’s part of school curriculum and that made me think, maybe try find a book?

judgemycomposure · 2021-08-18T13:42:21+00:00

You can still be feminine without being trapped at home, as long as your idea of feminine isn't the stifled US 50's housewife.

If cleaning and cooking made you more feminine, then how do you explain Kim Kardashian who pays for other people to do this for her?

Don't give up on your life, go party and have fun. You'll be feminine because you are a woman expressing yourself, and you're living your best life. Nobody in the world would ever mistake you for masculine.

Title	Giving up on being feminine
Author	letranquillita
Upvotes	9
Comments	23
Date	August 17, 2021 6:28 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/p69cf3/giving_up_on_being_feminine/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/giving-up-on-being-feminine.1058234 https://theredarchive.com/post/1058234

Comments