LTR, Not Being Married, Providing Security

1independentmale · 2015-01-29T23:44:09+00:00

According to her it prevents her from feeling completely free be with me.

This is a complete and total shit test. She's trying to manipulate you into signing away your life. A woman's feelings change with the winds. Don't get caught up in them. They're essentially meaningless.

she stays at home to raise the kids and is worried about her long term financial security if we were to separate

Fair enough, but what about your long term financial security? Why should she have access to your assets and your paycheck when you're no longer together? In what world does that make any sense at all?

Here's my position, it's not negotiable and my LTR knows it: If you're with me, you benefit from the fruits of my labor. I have a high income, I live well and my woman gets to live well by association. If you're not with me, you don't get a goddamn thing. You've got to be high as fuck and take me for a complete fool if you think I'm going to sign a contract that mandates I continue to foot the bill for your financial security when we're no longer together. Fuck. That.

Are the kids yours? How old are they? If they are of school age, there's no reason your girl should be sitting on her ass. She can address her financial security by getting a job. If they are still too young, she can find a way to earn money from home doing online work, etc, until they're old enough for school.

She needs to be working and saving money. This is the answer to her dilemma. I doubt she'll do it, as she's enjoying the hell out of her free ride and women are loathe to take on any personal responsibility, but this need not bother you. I learned a long time ago to stop helping and let people succeed or fail on their own merits. Ignore what they say, let their actions be an indicator of what they really want. If she wants financial security (or a car or a pony or a new Prada bag or what have you) badly enough, she'll get a job and start saving money. If she doesn't do that, then it clearly isn't all that important to her. If it's not important enough for her to lift a finger to help herself, why the fuck should it be important to you? It isn't. No matter how much she whines, it's nothing but talk until she takes concrete steps to do something about it.

I don't live with my LTR nor have kids with her, but if I did, here's how it would go: I would happily pay for all household expenses for MY house and would not accept a dime from her. As a result of being with me, she gets to live for free and can therefore save a large portion of whatever she earns for her future. That's her financial security: I'm putting a roof over her head and food in her belly so she can save her money. Whether she does or not is immaterial, I'm providing her the means to do so, the rest is up to her. This doesn't cost me much, as I still have to make the house payment, utilities and so on whether she lives there or not. The incremental expenses to me are minimal (slightly higher electric & water bill, BFD), but the benefits to her are outstanding as she's saving $1-2k a month not having to rent a place of her own.

Personally I think that's an outstanding fucking deal and any woman would be lucky to have it, especially given the abundance of low quality men available today who can't keep a job to save their lives. Free room and board, free meals, all the sex she can handle and a loving and attentive boyfriend? Bitch has it made. She's not getting a $10k diamond ring and half of what I earn on top of that. If what I offer isn't enough, she's free to try her luck finding a better deal with another guy.

How has this worked out for me? So far it hasn't. My LTR rejected my offer, said she wouldn't move in with me unless I put her name on the house. I asked her why she felt entitled to the hundreds of thousands of dollars in equity I've built up over the years when she didn't contribute a dime. She also pulled the "financial security" card and suggested that if she was going to be helping me clean and work in the yard and so on, that entitled her to half. I told her, "I could hire a gardner and a maid to do a few hours work each month for about a hundred bucks. Why would I pay you a quarter million dollars for the same thing?" She seems to think easy access to her pussy is worth it. She's mistaken, I could buy higher quality pussy for far less. I let her know we will not be living together until her position changes. If I ever get to the point where I really want a woman living with me and she won't acquiesce, I'll replace her with someone younger and hotter who knows a great deal when she sees one.

wantonton · 2015-01-29T22:22:10+00:00

Let's see, she wants you to trust her with your financial future by entering into a contract with her that places you at her mercy, BUT she does not even want to enter into an agreement with you whereby she has to trust you simply that you'll do what you say? How does that work? She wants to make you obligated. Let me state that again. What she told you was that if in the future she doesn't like what you are doing, she wants to have legal recourse to force you into financial support. Again, but she won't trust you enough to stay on an equal footing situation with you. After all, are you stopping her from going to school? Are you stopping her from going to work? No, she doesn't want that? That's because she WANTS to stay home. BUT, she wants to get what she wants and make you believe she's doing you a huge favor and that you should be forever indebted to her for having done so. Seeing a pattern yet? She wants you to guarantee, with the guarantee being backed by the force of the state, that if she does what SHE WANTS TO DO, you will be liable for the outcome, irregardless of what it is or whose fault it is.

Still considering marriage?

If you are, talk to lawyers in your area. See if a civil contract (NOT UNION) would be enforceable. Ask about something along the lines of funding an account for her that vests over years and what happens if the relationship is dissolved, and by whom and for what reason. It might be allowed to provide her with the financial security but on your terms.

But keep in mind, you're doing this for a woman that doesn't trust you at your word.

TDCRedPill · 2015-01-29T22:49:40+00:00

Calm down, hold your frame.

If the current situation isn't to her liking, she's free to leave. If she's worried about money and financial security, she's free to get a job, and you two can discuss how you will start splitting the bills, including rent, daycare, medical insurance, etc. with her. That aught to kill that idea right quick.

worried about her long term financial security if we were to separate.

Lastly, why in the HELL would she expect you to take measures that make her leaving more rewarding for her and damaging to you?

You're being played, son. Stick to your guns. If she's unhappy with the situation, let her know she can leave anytime, and you'll be spend every last cent you will ever make to make sure you get full custody and she has to pay child support.

(Also, beware of her moving or otherwise trying to get you two in a new locale that observes common law marriage.)

williamwilliam2 · 2015-01-29T22:15:05+00:00

Don't address financial security. You could become disabled tomorrow in a car accident and then rely on her financially. Will she care for you? There's no history that she's done it in the past, caring for you financially. However, there is a history that you've done it for her!

Her claim of 'prevents her from feeling completely free be with me' is fake. She's playing you.

putsch80 · 2015-01-29T23:53:19+00:00

Lawyer here. Find a lawyer to draft you a Financial Support Agreement. Have it outline that, in the event you breakup, you will pay her $X each month for Y months/years. It's like an upfront negotiated version of alimony.

crazydave1979 · 2015-01-29T22:22:12+00:00

That pretty much sounds like half the guys I work with, minus the stay at home girl. Some have been cohabiting all the way to the kids teenage years.

NeoreactionSafe · 2015-01-30T00:47:35+00:00

Women only get the Tingles when they are in a lower (vulnerable) position.

By never marrying her she will always sexually desire you because she knows if her Charm fails you will walk.

As long as you are good to her and love her I'd say stay as you are.

You have a "Natural Marriage" without the State intrusion... that's good.

The irony is that the moment her vulnerability goes away she loses her Tingles.

You might say something like:

"As long as you remain the Charming wonderful woman you are now I will never leave you."

Mouthpiece · 2015-01-29T23:13:45+00:00

What about marriage makes her gel more secure than your current arrangement, in her mind? I'm guessing it's the ability for her to divorce-rape you afterwards.

If she's honest enough to asking that to herself, and to you, she may be worth keeping around and it may help her realize why you won't marry her.

mrp3anut · 2015-01-29T22:06:46+00:00

So basicly you want the option to pull the rip cord at any moment with no risk to you but also give her some form of guarantee that you won't pull the rip cord.

You can't give her the security she is looking for without a marriage contract so if you think she is worth the risk then get married. However, it sounds like you don't trust her to be a good wife so your only option is to tell her that she will have to accept your word that you won't erroneously bail but you can't provide a guarantee.

quercus_suber · 2015-01-29T23:02:00+00:00

Create an irrevocable trust for the benefit of her and/or your kids. Fund the irrevocable trust with a modest amount of cash and a term life insurance policy. If you die, the policy pays off and the beneficiaries will be financially secure. If you divorce or get pissed at her, stop paying the premiums on the policy and it will disappear.

Alternatively, use whole/universal life instead of term life insurance; if you stop paying but don't die, there will still be value in the trust that could be used to support her or the kids.

I can't tell from your post if your goal is to ensure that you have something to threaten her with (e.g., if she stops acting the way you want her to, you will withdraw support of her) or if you want her to feel secure regardless of your feelings/behavior about her in the future. What is your goal?

VernonMaxwell · 2015-01-30T03:54:57+00:00

Seems like she has you in a bit of a pickle. Because if you say no to marriage, she can leave, dangle the kids, and you having to pay child support. And while she may be lovey dovey now, most women use the kids/child support as a subliminal threat of marriage, or else.

See what she says if you just say, "no, I'm not getting married." And just curious, did y'all not discuss this before either child?

BluepillProfessor · 2015-03-01T15:18:51+00:00

Have a 'gay marriage.' See a lawyer and draft up a contract that provides her some long term security without handing over your balls in marriage 2.0. Make sure she has enough money to live on for a period of time- long enough for her to find a job- if the relationship ends. No problem.

TekkomanKingz · 2015-01-30T15:21:58+00:00

What are you talking about? She has plenty of financial security in the form of two pooper stinkers she churned out.

BluepillProfessor · 2015-02-01T22:11:31+00:00

But...but...I thought us living together was about twue wuv and that we have security because, this....this is foreverafter. I can't believe you would objectify our love by making it about money (said every single engaged woman who was presented with a prenuptial agreement).

GREF_ · 2015-01-29T22:12:06+00:00

Just marry her, tbh.. Dread still works and if you were Canadian, you would already be essentially married as she lives with you.

Title	LTR, Not Being Married, Providing Security
Author	Kickaxe
Upvotes	20
Comments	49
Date	January 29, 2015 9:56 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2u4m12/ltr_not_being_married_providing_security/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/ltr-not-being-married-providing-security.28530 https://theredarchive.com/post/28530

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