I am having issues finding the right balance in an LTR of being honest on the one hand and on the other, being aloof, or at least keeping things I want private to stay private, which I think is something one has a right to do in a relationship.

As we know, women will stay stuff to provoke you, to get you to talk, to get you to admit weakness, or say something they can later use against you.

Good Lovers Lie

I found this in particular to really speak to my last situation:

The people who find themselves most betrayed by the lies of lovers are those who have the most unrealistic expectations about truthfulness. And the people who are most inclined to believe the lies they shouldn’t are the ones who tell themselves the biggest lie of them all: “I never tell lies.”

My LTR didn't like that I kept anything from her. Of course, I don't believe she has the right to know everything nor do I think it appropriate in anyway to inquire of her about everything. On the one hand, I don't want to be seen as jealous always asking, "Who did you hang out with last night?" Nor do I feel insecure enough to ask that. I also don't want to ask her Number, nor details about previous relationships. Although, she felt entitled to ask me about those things. And if I didn't speak up, I wasn't just being private, I was "lying"?

On the other hand, when she did explicitly lie about things in the past (not hiding her sexual past, in fact, but rather, exaggerating it to provoke me into jealousy) she said those don't count as lies because they were in service of her rooting out my "lies", a.k.a. not divulging every last thing she desired to know.

How do you deal with a persistent interrogator? How do you feel about crossing the line between aloofness and hiding?

This isn't about lying when she asks, Does my ass look fat in these jeans, either. It's more about where to draw the line of openness. Where you can stop her inquiries? Where does your aloofness, in an LTR, could in fact be damaging as opposed to alluring?

This is more of an LTR question as this subject is pretty irrelevant to plates.