Figuring out your passion?

JackGoldsteinWrites · 2015-03-30T22:17:31+00:00

"What is my passion?" - A question only humans ask of themselves. No tree, animal, amoeba, etc., asks what his passion is and they all seem to do just fine. I guess the downside of hyper rationality is a tendency to overthink.

Why must you even HAVE a passion? What if your entire purpose is to be passionless. Instead of thinking you're missing a passion, how about letting go of the concept and just doing what you please in every moment. A passion will either emerge, or it won't, but in either case, you'll have done something more useful that think about it.

Your scenario is not unique. I'd estimate 95% of people don't actually have a passion (myself included) and just go from affinity to affinity. It's actually quite liberating, because a passion is a prison in its own right.

If you really can't let go of the passion carrot as a motivator, how about this: You can't control what your passion is or when it will be revealed. So control how ready you are to make the most of it when you DO find out. Get in shape, do intellectual work, and keep connected. In other words, do all the stuff in the sidebar anyway.

"Before Enlightenment: Chop wood, carry water; After Enlightenment: Chop wood, carry water."

FrankWG · 2015-03-30T22:19:30+00:00

You don't sound bitter to me, just confused.

Look, the whole "do what you love" thing? Widely misunderstood.
It's not like you have to find something that you "love doing" as in "pleasurable". For writers, writing is painful. Entrepreneurship is an exercise in frustration. And so on. In fact, anything, done 40 hours a week, will become a drag.
But they do it anyway, because they love it. Because it's what they want.

Find what you want, not what you "want to do".
How do you see yourself, as a man? What do you care about?

Kyuzo_ · 2015-03-30T22:30:07+00:00

Have you every tried starting your own business?

Learning a self defense?

Trading in the stock market?

Buying a ticket to a foreign country and learning the language?

Learn a programming language?

Enter a bodybuilding competition?

Learn how to play guitar and join a band?

etc.

meet_me_at_high_noon · 2015-03-30T22:57:46+00:00

Story: I was in your boat until I became a teacher. Most days, it's incredibly painful. It's hard and tough and a grind. The kids don't always listen and I may not always reach them.

But I love it. I do something every day that matters. I don't ever wonder if I'll be bored. Every day is new. So here's the thing:

You have to commit. You have to know what matters to you and commit to it. There may be doubt and a period where it doesn't feel perfect. But you have to stay committed. Even people who do what they are passionate may have moments of doubt or may not always want to do that thing. Remember how Brett Favre waffled back and forth during his final years in the NFL, or how Jordan retired twice? It doesn't have to be perfect. It just has to be what you care about.

Trisha_Hill · 2015-03-31T00:47:10+00:00

Dude, try skiing or snowboarding. save some money for a skydive. Try a drifting(?) course on a wet racetrack. Listen to patrice oneal when going to the gym en try rowing 2km in 8min.

On your next 6h walk - put a rock or a nice ornament in your backpack and leave it halfway on the path to show other hikers - maybe someone wilm write some shit on it.

Wallclimb a rock - jump of it with a basejumpchute - land on a jetski.

RojoEscarlata · 2015-03-30T22:20:45+00:00

Yep, been there, and actually doing some very heavy thinking about doing a very drastic change in my life in order to pursue it

Read Robert Greene's "Mastery" the book is great and should give you a good idea to where to start.

oldum · 2015-03-31T00:10:50+00:00

A nice take on this topic is Cal Newport's book "So Good They Can't Ignore You". It boils down to "Follow your passion" is bad advice. Nobody ever actually became successful by following their dream. In 99% of the cases it's hard work. And that by being / becoming good at something it becomes your passion. Second it continues that you just can't decide to become the next Steve Jobs. You have to earn it. Thus the title of the book. He introduces the concept of career capital. Capital you earned through good hard work that you can use to change your current position into something that you believe to actually enjoy more. You pulled amazing clients - ask for 4 work days instead of 5.

Washedupoaf · 2015-03-30T22:25:55+00:00

fuck man my theory is that fulfillment (what I think you are on about here) is for women and trust-afarians. Nobody in their right mind is gonna pay me to lift weights, brew beer, or, build sports cars, despite the fact that those are the things that make me happy and my "passions." My advice: Figure out what shit you enjoy, find a way to fund said activities (via good career/etc.) and enjoy doing whatever it is you like. Eventually something will light a fire under you. Or it wont. End of the day you are the gatekeeper to your own happiness, it IS a choice, one we humans make every bloody day.

R1fle · 2015-03-31T14:16:53+00:00

I dropped out of college and worked in a factory for 2.75 years. I worked 44+ hours a week as a part-timer (way more hours than I should be working) for 9 months and applied for every full-time position available - eventually I got full-time working literally everywhere whenever/wherever they need me. Essentially a slave for 55k/yr.

Once I started full-time I worked anywhere between 44-64 hours a week for the next 42 weeks. I kept track of all the over-time I did because when you're literally a fucking slave you don't want to lose a single hour worth of pay, especially when you have shit like night-time premium, holidays, and over-time/double-time to take into consideration.

I was basically killing myself in this place, for shit respect, and so many times I was manipulated into staying longer hours every single fucking night. Being the good little worker bee I was I never declined (until the 42 week mark when I just simply needed a break). 8 hours a day felt like a day off to me.

Eventually the factory announced it was shutting down with 3 other factories in the metro area and they are rebuilding a mega factory in one of the smaller cities 2 hours away. I was offered full-time at the new place and I heard horror stories of how all of the machines will be putting out shit product for like the first 6 months at least while the workers get adjusted to the machines. Different dough behaves differently, even just rising like an extra half an inch will mean it won't fit into the bag. The dough goes into ovens for like an hour cycle, if there are any stops in the line, it means the dough will rise or burn, the oven guy will have to lower temps or start throwing bread on the floor, and it's like a sauna everywhere in the factory. I just knew I didn't want to be a slave for the next 50 years of my life despite the good pay.

So many days I was forced to work retarded hours with diarrhea, the flu, when i was grieving over oneitis. I thought in my head, if I was sick with the flu, diarrhea, and had oneitis what is the one thing I could do for 18 hours a day and still feel okay? I loved being on my computer. Realistically, I didn't enjoy tech classes in high school because hot girls weren't in them. I loved being on my computer though. The internet practically raised me once my father was out of the picture.

I took the money I earned, got a massive severance package when I turned down full-time at the new factory, and applied to a networking program at a nearby college. I had this vision to earn money while being on a computer or in a room full of computers for a living. I knew that much.

I took the program for 2 years, graduated on the Dean's List, I volunteered for 5 months after school and applied for well-fare to make money while essentially volunteering full-time as a Junior IT Coordinator. I applied to jobs while volunteering, got a ton of interviews that made me feel like I was in a fucking movie. Some of the places that called me back were fucking outstanding. Top floor suites of downtown Toronto, and I don't even have a degree. My life was essentially just finding my dream job. I went through so many different outlets to improve my resume (I had over 50 resumes by the time I actually landed my current job), I had head hunters contacting companies just to talk to me over the phone, and I bought several outfits (for dirt cheap through recent-grad support), and eventually I found myself where I am now. Working full-time for a growing multi-million dollar Software Development company. I did it all in like 3 years. I've been here less than 6 months and I received my first raise after I passed 3 month probation. Everyone on my team receives weekly reviews to hone self improvement. My boss, unlike past bosses, is actually the fucking hardest and smartest worker I've ever come across in my entire life. Out of every single person, I've never seen someone get shit done the way he does. It's amazing working for him, he's like the ultimate teammate, and it's great actually being apart of a professional services team. The dude is 100% logical, 0% emotional when it comes to decision making. Everyone in the office looks out for one another. Every single one of us is allowed to work from home but we all choose to come in at least 4 days a week because it's such a proficient environment to be working in. You can tell everyone here, including myself, just loves being here.

This was how I found my passion, I honestly did not expect it would ever be this amazing though. A healthy working environment has such an influence on you as a person. I couldn't imagine working under a stressful dramatic shitshow of a boss ever again.

Oddly enough, every single developer and analyst here, including the leaders for each team, all graduated from the same top 2 universities in the metro area. I'm the only one who sort of just weaseled in without a degree out of like, 40 people, lol.

tldr; be a slave, you'll know what you want to do for the rest of your life, am 25 yrs old.

benzamtrp · 2015-03-30T23:38:22+00:00

Most people find their passion simply because they got exposed to it one day: One saw surfers during a stroll on the beach, one walked into a motorbike shop while he was on the street waiting for a friend, one had a friend who was really into climbing and suggested he'd took him out one day, one went traveling in an area reputed for hikes. All of these guys didn't think "Woa, here is the passion of my life!", they all thought "could be fun.. why not try?"

TLDR: Try new stuff. One will click.

improvy · 2015-03-31T02:14:15+00:00

The best little quote that I can bestow upon you is:

You spend your twenties figuring out what you want to do. You spend your thirties getting good at it. You spend your forties getting paid well for it.

It takes a lot of trial and error, a bunch of dead end ideas and routes to finally find something that clicks with you. I know, for me the above saying held true. I kinda feel bad about people that are on a very pre determined route since the age of 16-18, because there are so many ways you can go about life and I feel those straight arrows often miss out on a lot.

Oakland_dude · 2015-03-31T04:53:00+00:00

It's a common misconception that people get passionate about something and then start doing it. It's actually the other way around. You do something long enough and develop a connection and a passion for that thing. Instead of worrying about finding a passion, practice being curious. Practice experimenting and trying new things.

kazaul · 2015-03-31T16:16:18+00:00

Speaking from the polar opposite position (extremely passionate about writing), I can - and this may sound odd at first but bear with me - relate. See, in between my bouts of insane dedication to unpaid work which may or may not pay off in the long run, I end up wondering what the hell I'm even doing with life. I find existence boring. I question and philosophize and overanalyze everything.

Why? I have no reason to worry. I have a safety net. I have funds saved up and a legit degree which can get me an entry level job in a few weeks if need be. I have a social life and whatnot. I really don't need anything; don't have to work towards anything except a vaguely defined idea which I think will lead to personal growth, e.g. my passion.

What I'm saying is: you're completely misunderstanding what passion really is. Almost the way a BP misunderstands what love and relationships are, you assume that, with this incredible "passion", you will have a preselected goal that will drive you towards something that is greater than yourself. Except that isn't what it is.

A passion is no more than a guideline, an ideal you work towards to keep your momentary ambitions and energy focused. Moreover, it's a point of origin to converge on whenever you go off on tangent. I'm going off on such a tangent right now. But I know once I've recovered I'll go right back to being passionate about finishing off that interactive novel and building that business I want to.

Actually doing that? Ugh. Hard work. Boring. Annoying. Terrifying, since I lack funds and any real experience. It's basically like swallowing the RP over and over, constantly pushing towards a new limit, and getting rejected every time. What drives me? My passion? Hardly. That just kickstarts the process – and it doesn't work half the time anyways, kinda how you don't always fall "madly in love" when you see someone you like. All the rest is down to hard work and discipline, interspaced with bouts of insanity and fun.

TLDR; it's not passion you need. It's discipline to push your boundaries consistently.

tallwheel · 2015-03-31T05:35:47+00:00

I may be in the minority here since I found my passion in life at an early age (I think I was about 16), and then spent the next ten years or so getting good at it. I definitely stumbled upon it. It wasn't something I had to work hard at first before it became my passion. It just clicked immediately, and then I put in the years and years of hard work.

The big problem for me now is that my old passion is old news now. I still enjoy it, but now I want to find another passion. In that way, I can actually relate a lot to what OP is saying. Passions are something you can't just go out searching for and hope to find. They find you, and you can't control when they will, or if they ever will.

PeteMullersKeyboard · 2015-03-31T07:19:22+00:00

I know it's popular around here to say "We're animals, passions are stupid" or "who needs a single passion"...and to some extent I can see that. I have many myself. However, this is the year 2015, I'm guessing you have a bit of student debt, and would prefer to have some nice things in life. Hence, you need to find something to do that you enjoy.

One thing that really got me on the right track early on in my life was reading a ton. I read all the goddamn time. And I still do. I know literally 10000x as much as I would if I didn't. Anyone can do it. You never know when you might read some cool snippet of some article or book that might turn you on to some "thing" that you didn't realize existed before. And that might be the thing that you fall in love with and chase after.

You definitely need ambition in life to get better, just floating around is not really going to work when you're a relatively poor recent college grad with debt and no real possessions of value. It's all nice and fine to travel the world "finding yourself" when you're worth a hundred mill or so, but I'm guessing that's not really within your means right now.

So, try to self-improve as much as possible. Gym, read, go out, meet people, have conversations about cool shit that you didn't know about. Read as many different things as you can, expand your mind from the comfort of your own home. Who knows, you might find something interesting. Meanwhile, think about what you enjoy doing. Don't make it super specific, just generally. And go from there.

FattestRabbit · 2015-03-31T13:22:19+00:00

Tim Minchin gave an awesome commencement speech. It's very relevant. Read it and/or watch the video. I think you'll enjoy.

idle_reception · 2015-03-31T15:06:33+00:00

Thank you for this thread and all the replies. I came in here thinking I wasn't passionate and am leaving with a little more knowledge about myself.

Like you I love just taking a walk, some of my favorite times are 2 am down the middle of a normally busy road. I puts with philosophy but that's to expand my horizon. I've got a 12 second car in the rebuild stage, disc golf, a beagle, I kayak, cycle and am training for a triathlon but I lack any "passion" to pursue any of these things to a professional level.

What I do have a passion for is being active and constantly growing. That's where all these hobbies come into play. I can be happy doing almost anything as long as I'm actively stimulating mind or body.

Still I'd rather be on some back country trail, miles from civilization just roughing it, sooner or later I'll spin this into a career or business venture. I truly believe you can't know yourself until you loose all outside stimulation.

DrunkCreep · 2015-03-31T20:07:55+00:00

I've found three particularly awesome resources that you may enjoy - as a thanks to all that this community has given me thus far.

Overall, these should help you learn about yourself and allow you to reflect on your key strengths/weaknesses and where they may be able to fit into your overall scheme of life.

I don't have it all figured out, but my advice is the cliche "don't worry about the destination, but the journey." I've figured out that entrepreneurship is my passion, and while I have my own business, it's not my dream business. I've enjoyed doing it full-time for the past 1.5+ years, but I'm looking forward to seeing where else it takes me (e.g. other businesses, cool connections, etc.).

Instead of relishing in the fact that I don't have it fully figured out, I do know that I'm on the path in getting there, and trying to make small incremental improvements.

Bottom line: start somewhere and see where it takes you. Without rushing, find out as quickly as possible if it's a path worth exploring.

Good luck!

Business Model You (can download .PDF from my Google Drive): http://goo.gl/JRAScx

What Color Is Your Parachute (can download .PDF from my Google Drive): http://goo.gl/WX0pBH

Lessons from my 20s: http://hive.org/20s

Pornography_saves_li · 2015-03-31T20:44:27+00:00

It's the box fear puts you in. You are blah with your life, because you don't experience anything new or interesting enough to pique your interest. Money isn't the issue, since there is likely plenty of shit you have never done before, free for the doing in your life.

Sometimes, the little shit becomes big. Sometimes, discovering you like, say, playing the banjo and telling jokes. Doesn't seem like much until you realize a guy was so passionate about those things, he (Steve Martin) turned it into a career.

What you are passionate about doesn't matter, so much as the life the passion brings. If you are uninspired (which is what people used to call what you describe), take a trip, read a new author, eat unfamiliar food, experience new things great and small, until you find your passion.

SilentForTooLong · 2015-04-01T11:20:07+00:00

My advice to you is simply to start trying to do things that make you money, and then keep trying until you acquire as much money as possible.

You will not believe me until you try. Once you hit on some random thing people are willing to pay you amount of money you are happy to accept for doing those things, you will quickly develop a passion for them most likely. If not, you'll end up with tons of money, with which you can very easily purchase passion of all sorts.

If you have unlimited idle time from a position of relative comfort, you have literally nothing to lose...so why not?

akrebsie · 2015-04-01T01:37:48+00:00

MY advice is to go do something extreme and go do it to the extreme, society coddles you gives you walls rules and dictates what you can do or be interested in.

Men are extremists and leaders not followers or puppets.

Get a backpack fill it with food and water and go bush walking, be extreme about it and in the moments of self denial and punishment the real you will come out of the cracks of the shell you have built up to protect society from you and you from society.

I don't mean to use extreme as a cliche, I mean it literally, if you go bush walking don't go through planning a route that is super safe something "manageable" don't use those stupid walking sticks and make sure you have all the right gear.

Don't get me wrong you should not set yourself up to die, this is the only life you have. At least set yourself up to struggle and fail, so that you can learn just how strong you are, stronger than you know certainly stronger than society would lead you to believe.

I chose bush walking because it is so quintessentially primal, but it could be many things.

RP_Vergil · 2015-03-31T03:39:07+00:00

You feel like you're missing out on this "Passion" thing. But does it matter?

It's like when Woman who married a Beta and realize that they missed out on the whole "Bar Scene", is it something they really must engage in just because "others seems to be having fun".

Don't be misled by how others are. To justify passion, first you need to focus on Improving yourself first.

Don't "because of passion" and do things thinking you will like it.

Not everyone enjoy the session in the gym busting our muscles to lift those damn iron. Yet we do because we know it's beneficial to us. We know not to succumb to Instant gratification, and focus on the bigger picture.

PandaMoneyLove · 2015-03-31T04:06:47+00:00

A driven MAN has passion for life. Quit being a bitch and be one. Go get your testosterone levels checked, go weight train, go run, go flirt with some girls. Passion is a natural byproduct of being a healthy male so be one. A man craves power, control and wealth.

Philhelm · 2015-03-30T22:18:08+00:00

Join the Marine Corps as an infantryman.

Title	Figuring out your passion?
Author	Rooibosisboss
Upvotes	26
Comments	51
Date	March 30, 2015 10:06 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/30uufz/figuring_out_your_passion/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/figuring-out-your-passion.30818 https://theredarchive.com/post/30818

Comments