I'm not married but posting here because people here seem to know more about relationships rather than just casual dating.

Stats: 37/5′ 9/150lbs/I do lift, decent shape, great job.

So I'm dating this girl for about 4 months, we break up because I felt pressured into kids when I wasn't ready but we're retrying for 2.5 months currently and overall it's going well.

In the beginning, the sex was insanely great, she was horny all the time, 4x per day was not uncommon. Then towards the 4 month mark things tapered off a bit which got me concerned. I am very easily triggered because 2 years ago I got out of a sexless marriage and very scared this is where it's headed.

While broken up with my current gf I discovered the Red Pill and started using some of those techniques, and the sex definitely returned to the levels of the early days. I then got critical of the whole thing and become more blue pill again, but still maintaining some good game overall, but just not really leaning heavy on the dread-game.

I am initiating sex, maybe once a day, less frequent recently, sometimes also quite passionately. She does refuse from time to time and I don't make a big deal of it and just drop it.

Recently she said, multiple times now, that she feels pressured into having sex when I'm that passionate and she's not feeling warmed up enough or doesn't want to have sex but also doesn't want to say no. On top of that, she feels a lot of internal pressure to have sex and not leave too long a gap. I'm pretty sure that's not a shit-test and she does have a bad experience from an earlier relationship about being pressured and guilted for not having enough sex.

That was difficult to hear. For one that it makes me scared that sex is now becoming this precious thing I have to be very delicate about and not initiate too often, but also that my sexuality is a burden for her, which triggers trauma from my sexless marriage.

So what do I do? It makes sense to me that her feeling pressured internally and externally is probably not great for how she enjoys the sex we do have and consequently can only reduce her desire.

From there it seems my best course of action would be to take off all the pressure and not initiate for a while.

But I also worry that her attraction to me has dropped which is what's behind her decreased desire. She does have a ton going on at work and lot of anxiety around that, so there are external factors too.

I also worry that there might be more than enough dread already. She's worried I'll change my mind about kids/the relationship again, anxious about the sex issue, is a jealous person overall (I do have some contact with other women but it doesn't seem to motivate her to try harder).

She also really liked to be dominated in the bedroom but now also just wants things much more feeling-based and not as hard. Which makes sense if I'm already being too dominant for her when initiating.

So I'm not sure that increasing dread/game is really gonna fix anything.

The other useful thing I found here is that do very much rely on sex as validation, that's definitely something I want to work on to not become as needy in that regard.

Anyway, this hasn't gone on for too long and maybe I should just chill, take off the pressure, work on my stuff, and see at what level she initiates sex at.