I just lost it

exbp · 2015-02-12T06:15:55+00:00

If you're angry at her remember that it's you that got you here. Failing shit tests, body fitness issues, letting her control things we should, not being a rock for her... Channel that energy into a workout, get out of the house and be absent, get some subtle dread going, get some spiffy clothes, don't answer every question, leave her wondering what you're up to, who you're with, where you are. But mostly be patient and look for signs that it's sinking in with her.

Mybicepshurts · 2015-02-12T06:07:27+00:00

You need to take care of you! Go find something enjoyable to do. Ignore her for the next couple of days. Man up, lift, find pleasure for yourself. Hold frame. Your the captain don't take any snit off the crew. The time will come then plow her. We're for you bro!

strategos_autokrator · 2015-02-12T09:53:42+00:00

First, you are a man for accepting how you fucked up. This is owning your shit, and it is the key to improving. This is a very hard thing to do, so the fact you are doing indicates how strong you are, and that you can get up again and improve.

Now I'll be honest to highlight what areas you might want to work on. It sounds like the whole night was blue, including ending with the victim puke. This is why she rejected you, because you did it all from beta.

You did all the stuff for a great night. Yet it sounds like out of a covert contract: since you gave her a perfect night, you expect her to put out. Women smell that shit from far away, and it is not attractive. She knew all the time you were doing it to get her approval, and that is very unattractive. Frankly, I somehow suspect beta mindsets change our pheromones or something. Because doing the same actions from alpha or beta mindsets completely changes the reaction of women. So when I say they smell it, maybe it is literal! So next time do a nice night out doing shit YOU like with her.

Did you just try to 10s Kiss out of nowhere? THe recommendation is to start with a half-second kiss, and ramp it up to 10s slowly, otherwise, she will give you shit to test if you are for real or faking it.

You had a victim puke there. It happens to everyone. Just get up and keep going.

I want the red pill. I want my marriage back. I want to fucking plow my wife. Ia not sure if there is anything left in her for me. Maybe its the antidepressants she is taking. I dont know where to go from here.

Alpha is not something you become. Is something you do, always. There is no "end game". This makes it very hard, but also, it helps you internalize that alpha is a way of living. The goal isn't to get your marriage back because you are alpha. That is beta and backfires just like it did for you. The goal is to be happy yourself through self improvement and clear goals. Surprisingly when you focus on yourself, she will respond and follow. But while she senses you are ass-kissing, trying to please her, getting bitchy when she doesn't give you what you want because you are entitled because you kissed her ass, and while she thinks you are trying to save the marriage, she won't respond.

I want to fucking plow my wife.

Change the mindset. You need outcome independence. I wrote a post precisely about this.

Ia not sure if there is anything left in her for me.

You sound like a baby crying because mom ran out of breast milk. Stop being a fucking cry baby, that is why she isn't attracted to you. You are a man. You don't need ANYTHING from her, it doesn't matter if she has it or not. Once you accept this and figure out to be happy without her, there is a good chance she will be attracted to you and want to make you happy.

Attraction can't be negotiated.

Maybe its the antidepressants she is taking.

It could be medical. However, from what you say, it sounds like you are contributing a lot to the problem with your covert contracts. Focus on those first. If you manage them and become more outcome independent, there is a chance she will also feel better and might want to talk to the doctor and change meds

Stop wanting her to change and YOU change. You can't change her. But you have all the power to change yourself. While you keep looking at her for approval, she will keep rejecting you. You must become the man YOU want to be independent of her. Read my post about Outcome Independence.

TheYoungPatriarch · 2015-02-12T06:06:03+00:00

She's on the looney meds?

Bad news bro.

You need to Red Pill Up. Lift, get away from the house, join a club, eat right, dress better.

Let your wife know what you need. Sex, a feminine wife, food on the table (if your that type of guy).

You can't expect results right away. The BP you has dried her vagina, you need to put the tingles and wetness in those walls with a Man-over.

When you be the man she needs, her physical health, her mental health, and emotions will stabilize. If you are a BP wreck, she's gonna think she needs meds to deal with all her cognitive dissonance and emotional turmoil from not having her (real) desires met.

spexer · 2015-02-12T19:34:56+00:00

These covert-contracts are your downfall. You seem to be thinking it is about what you deserve.

Hell, you went shopping with her, you should get a treat!

TRY THIS PERSPECTIVE: (1) You change yourself into the alpha leader of your family. Getting in shape, doing the work, and making the family life plan happen. = awesome stuff. (2) You make a move on her and she rejects awesome you... (3) Then SHE looks less attractive to YOU because of it. You are shocked that she isn't pleasing her man... and with nothing more than your look of disgust, you go spend your time and attention elsewhere.

when that perspective is honest- then you have made it.

take her off the pedestal bro

jons_throwaway · 2015-02-12T10:12:51+00:00

Should have got up and told her your going to the bar to get a drink and meet a friend. Stay gone a while. Not answer any texts from her.

Bottom line. You have to make her think that you can get love elsewhere.

[deleted] · 2015-02-12T12:14:53+00:00

I really think you are trying to hard

Just because you learned about the red pill existence doesnt mean you should be applying anything or expecting any change

Take a month to read and lift and leave the relationship alone

[deleted] · 2015-02-12T11:58:58+00:00

Medication such as anti depressants, anxiety, even certain birth control can completely fuck up a woman's libido. This is not an excuse, as being shredded as fuck can counter that decline, but it is something to factor into the equation.

As for my advice, I would repeat what has already been said, find something for you.

Put the kids to bed and then grab the tools and repair something, build something from wood, if you have a garage then I'd suggest a barbell, some weights, and build from their so you can hit the iron.

It's important that you aren't living your life to get something from your wife. Right now, she is holding your happiness and that is wrong. I know you want things to run smoothly and they should, but it's your responsibility to get her and the family on that track.

Keep working on you. You're alive, you're a man, you're in control of how you handle this. Don't for a second let her think it has affected you, why because she can't affect you and she needs to understand that you are operating on a higher level and if she doesn't get on-board and raise her standard and quit with the bullshit, then she'll lose you.

[deleted] · 2015-02-12T14:33:59+00:00

I cant be in a relationship where my needs arent being met" she said some bullshit. Idk what. I walked out and said sorry for being attracted to my wife. Straight fucking beta-ed it. I left the house and she sent one text.

How is that beta? You know your wants and you know your path. Now you just need to have the courage to make it happen - either with your wife or with someone better.

Leave. Take a vacation. Take some time off of work -- "personal/family issues". And go somewhere on your own/with friends for a few days. Radio silence.

If you come back and do digest, continue to not put up with bullshit. Be tense. Embrace it. Because you expect better and you are not going to be the one to budge.

Lastly, read up on /r/redpillwomen -- know that those women exist. That is what you should be expecting and demanding, or at least teaching. Every single married man here should read /r/redpillwomen on here as the metric of a good wife.

If you're not happy, don't let some fucking bitch continue to make you unhappy after already having made you unhappy for however many years.

If a woman's (person's) not going to add value to your life, fuck them.

But like everyone else has said -- this takes time! Especially in a marriage. Especially with a status quo.

BluepillProfessor · 2015-02-12T16:59:33+00:00

You are less than 2 weeks into this process according to your other posts. You have only read NMMNG and I don't even think you have consumed the all important MMSL and MAP. You are doing just fine.

Read up on my 12 Step Plan of Dread but....

Like the Oracle said: "Bro, do you even lift?"

nopbeentheredonethat · 2015-02-12T12:38:16+00:00

How does she react to dread.....

She is taking you for granted. Applying Dread would be my next move.

RBuddDwyer · 2015-02-13T00:06:19+00:00

Relevant comment on Chateau Heartiste. Roissy himself even chimes in.

[deleted] · 2015-02-22T14:16:07+00:00

Wow, this sounds exactly like my life but without the kids.

Title	I just lost it
Author	trendynamegoeshere
Upvotes	8
Comments	42
Date	February 12, 2015 5:40 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/2vmhzp/i_just_lost_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/i-just-lost-it.202532 https://theredarchive.com/post/202532

Comments