Did my first 100 approaches

ZenoGeno · 2024-02-26T08:10:46+00:00

Is there even a point to getting a number at the club? Imo feels like either it happens there or it doesn't

Chicagoj1563 · 2024-02-26T10:56:03+00:00

There are a few things.

First, try to think of doing cold approach as a way to learn social skills. It’s an art form and a craft. Put the focus on improving how you communicate, aka your game. That should be the focus. You’re just trying to improve on something, such as your interactions just being “nice” as you said.

Try to let go of the outcome that your results aren’t good after 100 approaches. The results should be social skills improvement. Not numbers, getting dates, etc… there will be a time to focus on that more, but you need to improve fundamentals right now. Turn it into a fun game where you don’t need to get the girl. All you want to do is have a fun conversation and get better at that.

Also, consider not following any structure such as “direct” game. Field test different things to see what results you get. Find out what works through experimentation.

Women don’t respond to linear conversations. You have to get out of logic mode. Tap into having fun and triggering positive emotions during your interactions. Again, it’s not a linear logical conversation.

Experiment. Think of vibes like fun, laughing, dominance, challenging, etc… in your interactions you should be in the drivers seat. She is in reaction to you. Your frame should be “I’m attracted to you, but if you walk away and I never see you again I’ll be having just as much fun.” No attachment to the outcome.

And if you keep doing the same things, you probably aren’t pushing your comfort zone. You need to stretch yourself. Take some social risks.

Game should be fun. So, have that in mind when you approach. The outcome is you learned something. Try to learn something from every approach. Experiment, field test things, etc…

These are all things to consider. But, drop any of it if you find something works better for you.

You should be experimenting, testing things out, and turning that into a fun game.

Lastly, I would also consider doing more night game. So much more opportunity to approach and practice.

Regular-Confusion69 · 2024-02-26T09:01:20+00:00

honestly I would recommend asking for their instagram or social media before their number. At least in my age group, being asked for my number within 10 minutes of meeting someone is a no-go. However, if they were to ask for my social media I would have no problem connecting with them that way. It gives more time to see that you are not a creep or serial killer, and can open the door to more in depth conversations based on each other’s pictures and help you land a date. hope this helps x

AnAIAteMyBaby · 2024-02-26T10:24:35+00:00

It's really hard to say what the issue could be from what you've said. It's usually either your dress sense, body shape or behaviour (what some people call vibe) that puts women off. Your description of what you wear sounds fine, you say your in shape so maybe it's your behaviour.

My advice would be to make an audio recording of your interactions on your phone and listen back to them and see if you can identify a problem. Lots of guys speed up and their voice goes up a pitch when talking to girls which is very unattractive. Other issues are things like monotonous tone of voice, lack of eye contact, asking too many boring questions etc.

I've recorded myself approaching like this before and it's really cringe to listen to but can really highlight what you're doing wrong.

TRTGymBro · 2024-02-26T12:12:58+00:00

You could do 10,000 approaches and get the exact same results. Contrary to popular opinion it is NOT a numbers game.

My feeling is that you are coming across as needy and desperate and they feel that energy. You said you interactions are jot leading to a result. Well, they are not leading to a desirable result, but they are leading to a result. The fact that you are focused on the result, tells me that you have a neediness/attachment problem.

I can tell you that women smell this shit from a kilometer away. They all want what they CAN'T get, so a guy that comes along and NEEDS to get a positive result from them is a guy they CAN easily get. So you are of no interest.

Stop wanting to get anything from women. Stop wanting to get approval, validation, a number, sex. Interact with women because you appreciate beauty and bantering, having fun, and not because you want something out of them. If you want to learn more about the philosophy of indifference watch on your tube "Brent Smith Bulletproof Banter". Especially the third video.

IcyHunt3639 · 2024-02-26T07:59:10+00:00

Girls are more flaky in clubs so probably bringing down your success rate in there. Only 6 numbers from 100 approaches is not good. I usually go direct, male sure I build rapport, get her laughing then end the show early and go for the number. I'd say 20 to 30% of the time I get the number. Some days I hit always everything and other days I go 0-10. Now getting them on a date is a whole other ball game so numbers don't mean a whole lot once you get them consistently.

Bro1616161616 · 2024-02-26T19:44:53+00:00

As a Swiss, I can tell you with confidence that it might just be because Swiss girls are notorious for being more distrustful of strangers, especially when they're being hit on. It doesn't help much if you're a foreigner either.

epimpstyle · 2024-02-26T22:04:54+00:00

It is hard to say what you did wrong without actually seeing you talking to a woman.
How long did you talk to a girl before you asked for her phone number?
Are you sure you built up enough rapport during that time?
If a girl feels comfortable with you and enjoys your company, she will be happy to meet you again.
Did you see any IOI signals during your interaction?

The empathy statements are not thrown out randomly because it will sound weird, use them ONLY when necessary. Do not assume that you should say such a statement, just use IF it is necessary.

I forgot to mention that many times girls wouldn’t ask me questions

It depends on what you tell them, the topic you are talking about, the way you are talking (maybe you are too fast when you talk?).

Only because she doesn't ask a question is not really a IOD signal, better to see another one before you are sure that she doesn't like talking to you.

as soon as I am trying to get a number or invite her to an instant date I would either hear that she has a boyfriend or she would say that she is not interested

This is beyond my understanding because if you talk to a girl for 2-3 minutes, she will figure out why you are talking to her and why you are making jokes. They won't let you struggle to talk to them just to tell you at the end that they have a boyfriend. I have never found anyone like that. Now here is another question... what do you talk to them about? Do you let them know that you like them? Just the first compliment is not enough.... but too many compliments are just as bad as saying nothing at all.

however I am more physical and sexual right from the start

Maybe this is the answer to your problems and you should make a change.

JaidenPouichareal · 2024-02-26T10:29:45+00:00

You're focusing on getting numbers, also you are direct but you're not giving the woman a compelling reason to want to call you, why would she wanna call you for? Lastly if a woman has to guess your intentions then you're indirect.

I recommend a book for those who like to use direct game Mode One by Alan Roger Currie.

SirJerALot · 2024-02-26T18:40:59+00:00

This is why, as men, we need to change the story. Don’t approach. Let these women play with f boys or step up after they’ve ruined the courting process. Stand together, guys. Seriously.

Women have decided to disrespect our time and value. Take the power back.

Pedro_Moona · 2024-02-26T09:41:51+00:00

Your best bet is to try to friend them someway and get her number that way. Oh you sell X for a living or you like X, what's your number maybe we can play X together. Then keep the convo going. Try to be in her life anyway you can before asking her out.

ROBYoutube · 2024-02-26T07:29:03+00:00

I think a big difference between cold approach success of an 18-23 year old dude would be much different to a dude who is at least 30. At least when you're 18-23, you have an excuse for being a young moron to explain for why you think marching up to women you don't know and try to be an internet cool guy at her is a good idea. After all in school, boys and girls typically don't mix too much so young women are used to having much of their appeal come purely from how they look.

Older women will see this approach as embarrassing. Almost 'hello fellow kids' level of what the fuck are you doing. If you still have it in your head that this is how you form romantic bonds with other adults, that's going to be a massive red flag.

2024-02-26T18:27:14+00:00

i find cold approach rarely works especially in 2024 - women are afraid and/or chew men out.

warm approach is better (does she make eye contact, did she return your smile).

what works the best is social circle. you mentioned you are in leadership. are there any hobbies or volunteering you can use to meet someone? that would probably work far better.

2024-02-26T18:50:15+00:00

Here is where I struggle ...

Are you sure you know where you struggle? Get the feedback of a wing, who actually sees what you are doing. In day game little errors will add up in your results. Often it's just a few details in calibration, that change your results quite a bit. You need some feedback irl.

Probably also room for improvement in your text game.

Title	Did my first 100 approaches
Author	RestartPUA
Upvotes	38
Comments	66
Date	February 26, 2024 7:13 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1b0bitn/did_my_first_100_approaches/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/did-my-first-100-approaches.1427455 https://theredarchive.com/post/1427455

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