Top 10 FBI Behavioral Unit Techniques for Building Rapport With Anyone

ThrowawayPUA · 2014-06-08T17:49:17+00:00

This is good.

I will also recommend a seddit favorite book, What Every BODY Is Saying, by an FBI profiler. Similar source, similar high quality info, and very detailed.

Phenxz · 2014-06-09T01:20:22+00:00

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HeadphoneBill · 2014-06-08T23:30:34+00:00

r/SocialEngineering for more stuff like that.

doctorsnakelegs · 2014-06-09T00:07:16+00:00

Wow! Thanks, this is impressive! On opening and point #1: time restraint: In my experience, I open with "I must get back to my best friend," "I'm waiting for my friends," or "I have a 10 minute break from studying."

It's my opinion that rapport starts with a smile. I thought of Dale from that scene from "Tucker & Dale Vs. Evil," when I read Dale Carnegie's name (How to Win Friends and Influence People) . Whatever I say for my time restraint, I just smile -- laugh at myself -- and show my white teeth.

HawaiianOrganDonor · 2014-06-09T04:34:19+00:00

Looks good, they all seem logical, but can someone give some examples of some of them?

6) Validate Others - What can you say to validate somebody?

8) Quid Pro Quo - What personal information can you give?

10) Managing Your Own Expectations - I don't really get this one.

Im new here.

Universe_Man · 2014-06-09T02:36:59+00:00

Good article, but is it a commercial for that book? It says the entire title 10 times and links to its Amazon page every time.

Hrjdc · 2014-06-08T17:20:23+00:00

For me, the '10) Managing Your Own Expectation' is the BIG thing.

And 1) Establish false time constraint; was taught by Mystery way back. Sure MM is still Sed Bible

silverfox007 · 2014-06-09T04:42:14+00:00

"Crazy people speak quickly" aw Fuck!

2014-06-09T03:39:57+00:00

If you haven't already, read "How to win friends and influence people". All the advice found in this article is found in that book. Highly recommended if you're struggling with conversation.

willtopower2014 · 2014-06-09T04:02:47+00:00

So much of what I do (and a lot of gamers do) with Ross Jeffries' material included in this piece. A lot of us are fortunate enough to have known this for years already. Very important to listen, get the girl talking, and talking some more.

And false time constraints? Yep, first thing we do.

zach84 · 2014-06-09T16:44:35+00:00

credit goes to /u/sedditdee

"FBI Tested". Really? More like "Dale Carnegie meets Samuel Smiles".

1) Establish artificial time constraints

Neil Strauss lists this as one of the basics in any opener: Root your opener -- meaning, give a reason for asking your question or speaking to the other person; Give a false time constraint -- meaning, tell them that you have to get back to your friends, you've got to go do [x], etc.

2) Make Sure Your Body Language is In Sync

They already cited Dale Carnegie. Smiling at people has nothing to do with the FBI.

3) Speak Slowly

This is actually not true. It's more useful to mirror the other person, i.e. if they speak quickly, match their speech pattern. If you're a slow-talker speaking with a fast-talker, they might get bored and tune you out. If you're a fast-talker speaking to a slow listener, they might become overwhelmed and stop listening. Match the person you're speaking with -- or intentionally mismatch to see if they follow your lead.

4) Ask For Help

This only works if you have some value in the situation. If you seem to be asking for an unearned favor from someone who has no reason to care (i.e. an attractive woman being approached by a random guy), the opposite effect is more likely.

5) Suspend Your Ego

"Listening without judgment" is only useful after you've established rapport. Being "egoless" before the other person has a sense of your place in the scene (i.e. the social hierarchy) is a great way to end up being her next male girlfriend. Instead, tell your story (DHV) and make it worth hearing.

6) Validate Others

Also known as "simply listening". Also a great way to become her next BFF/co-psychoanalyst/Nice Guy Friend/etc. Learn to listen, when to interject, when to cut a conversation thread, and when to start one of your own. This is complex because conversations are complex. Listening is only a very small part of the overall puzzle. Sometimes people are trapped in their own rumination and have grown accustomed to spreading their "story" to everyone who will listen; in those cases (approximately 99% of women, especially chatty, attractive-looking ones who expect to run the conversation), it's better to deal with managing their emotions rather than "hearing their story".

7) Ask: How? When? Why?

"Ask open-ended questions." This one is useful and self-explanatory. There's a better link embedded in all the fluff, though (click here).

8) Quid Pro Quo

or, "selective self-disclosure". Also known as, if the conversation starts to die, stop "listening" and say something about yourself that the other person can latch onto and respond in kind. Prety obvious for anyone who's ever had a conversation before; not exactly "FBI"-grade...

9) Give A Gift

See answer to point number four. Giving an unearned gift (attention, compliments, food, entertainment, etc.) is a great way to invite someone to take advantage of your "generosity". Women often try to force the "gift-giving" frame onto guys from the beginning by calling it "acting like a gentleman". Now you know better than to fall for it, unless you want her to initiate another charming little game called "sexual keepaway".

10) Managing Your Own Expectations

"Play it cool. Focus on the other person’s needs and don’t let your expectations rise." Meet the other person where they are, not where you expect them to be. More importantly, know your expectations going into the conversation, and use real influence techniques to bring the other person into awareness that they are operating by your rules. Or if the other person resists too much, walk. The knowledge that you do have expectations, yet you don't need the other person to fulfill them is often enough to encourage compliance. Anything more active than that enters an ethical grey area.

11) The Right Attitude

"Make sure the other person walks away better for having met you." Update: Make sure the other person walks away feeling better for having met you. The whole purpose of negotiation is to win. As far as it relates to picking up women, that's a question of your own perspective and goals in the interaction. But I suppose the touchy-feely, feel-good, "positive", happy ending was necessary for a Business Insider article. I highly doubt that anyone from your average cop on the street (who is authorized to lie to you using tactics like "good cop/bad cop" and the "Prisoner's Dilemma") to your skilled FBI interrogator (who can and will murder you while claiming "self-defence" if there are no witnesses) actually abides by the silly "win-win" approach to negotiating. Your motives will determine the approach that you take, and the results you can expect.

mrwooster · 2014-06-09T03:51:04+00:00

Cheers OP.

choc_is_back · 2014-06-09T08:39:31+00:00

God, for me resisting the urge to tell my own story is SO difficult. I know it can do more harm then good, and I also think I'm a pretty good listener, but somehow it is so deeply ingrained in me that if somebody shares a story, I'll want to share a similar one I lived to show I relate to them.

Hrjdc · 2014-06-09T10:01:00+00:00

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JibbsGooner · 2014-06-09T14:14:09+00:00

Thanks for sharing, OP. This is a great article.

makingchoicesnow · 2014-06-13T17:54:08+00:00

I had posted a link here in this sub to a similiar article about the same book written in another blog(FarnamStreetBlog) few months back..

May be the association with TIME website made it to the top unlike the last time.Or I didn't word the title to make it interesting enough.

Felt bad the last time it didn't find resonance. At least, now that this has risen to the top, it feels good finally a good material is seen by many more people.

Eric Barker, the author of this article which appeared in TIME, runs a blog Barking up the Wrong Tree which is a goldmine.

BTW, Farnamstreetblog is really good if you like the themes being posted there.

Edit : The whole book It's not all about me is a quick read at around 100 pages.

lifetimernd · 2014-06-09T00:26:52+00:00

GOLD!

Indianbro · 2014-06-12T13:42:08+00:00

How to be a beta in conversation is basically what this is

selux · 2014-06-08T22:04:51+00:00

Cool

Title	Top 10 FBI Behavioral Unit Techniques for Building Rapport With Anyone
Author	Hrjdc
Upvotes	932
Comments	42
Date	June 8, 2014 5:10 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/27mnrn/top_10_fbi_behavioral_unit_techniques_for/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/top-10-fbi-behavioral-unit-techniques-for-building.1298054 https://theredarchive.com/post/1298054

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