I got divorced in the middle of last year, and about five months later I met my current girlfriend.

She's Russian. And while she's supportive and kind when I display true vulnerability, she also isn't very tolerant of displayed weakness: complaining without action, not being proactive in planning activities, lack of independent thoughts or opinions, not following through with promises.

Those who have dated Russian or Eastern European women can likely attest to this.

Dominant, beautiful, and feminine women require men who are in their masculine center. A good woman will accept you for who you are fundamentally, and give you space to have your moments of weakness; however, if weakness becomes the baseline behavior, the attraction begins to erode.

Nice Guys will complain that this is arrogance or superficiality on the part of the woman, but it's just the nature of polarity between masculine and feminine energies.

When I met her, I was in solid shape. I was attending kickboxing classes regularly. I was dating other women casually. My divorce allowed me to have time and space to focus on myself instead of constantly being consumed with my duties as a husband and father.

With my newfound freedom, I was able to build up my masculine core and physical appearance, which had increasingly been neglected throughout the course of my marriage.

By the time I had met my girlfriend, I was displaying masculinity, dominance, and value, because I had worked on myself and experienced rejection as well as success with many different women over the course of several months.

Earlier this year, my responsibilities began to pile up again. I purchased a new home, I was still learning to co-parent and be a part time single dad.

On top of this, I bought a fucking dog-- my house started to smell like puppy shit on a consistent basis.

Being worn down by my duties, I had neglected staying on top of my physical fitness, and had gained roughly twenty pounds. Some days I was simply was too busy to give a damn.

In terms of my relationship, I consistently used my girlfriend as an emotional sounding board on how overwhelmed I felt with everything. Instead of working towards substantially addressing my problems, I adopted a position of victimhood, instead of being grateful for the things I had and taking responsibility for everything.

Last week, over the course of several days, her texts became less frequent and were shorter. On the days we didn't see each other, her communication tapered off. I saw from a mile away what was coming.

I texted: You seem to have something on your mind, do you want to talk about it?

She responded that she needed a little space and she felt overwhelmed.

I went back to the strategy I had used previously when women I had dated had gotten cold over text--I mirrored and responded succinctly: "I will."

She responded that the relationship had become more like a marriage with too much stuff to take care of, rather than a relationship with passion.

I responded simply with, "I agree." (And I did)

I just let her be. Not to punish, or get back her, but because she asked for space, and I was secure enough to give it to her. I let it be, and let her come to me if she wanted.

Several hours later she responded with the following:

"I want you to be open with me, but I don't want to always shoulder your worries and problems. I want to be there for you, but I also want my strong, determined, and collected man back..."

A good partner will be supportive of you, but will also be upfront and hold you accountable if need be. It's the quality I love most about her. And she was 100% correct. Being overbearing is one of the most unattractive qualities, for both men and women. If your partner consistently adopts an attitude of victimhood without action on their own, it is easy to lose respect for them in the long run.

I discovered in my divorce that lack of communication is the death knell of any relationship. If you cannot be upfront in a respectful manner with each other on how you feel and if the other person isn't holding up their end of the bargain, there's no hope of success.

She didn't say it directly, but my girlfriend was essentially communicating to me that she had lost some of her attraction to me, because I was putting all of my issues on her, rather than handling my business and coming to her with truly important emotional issues.

I responded to her heartfelt text simply with: "I'm finding my way back." I meant it, and if I don't follow through, I'll continue to gradually lose her affection. I will hold her accountable (in a respectful manner) as well if she falls into a similar pattern of complacency.

The takeaway:

Don't lose sight of the guy you were when she initially fell for you, even if it's tempting to default to complacency in the grind of every day life.

Being responsible in itself will not maintain attraction. Be the bold, focused uncompromising person you were when you met-- even if it means spending some extra money, or disregarding your daily duties in favor of a spontaneous adventure or chance to make a memory.

Edit: I wanted to thank everyone the positive comments. I posted this same exact post on the Dating Advice sub, and people are losing their freaking minds with anger. I find it fascinating. Thanks again for the feedback.

Update: Post was removed from the dating_advice sub. Guess enough pent up Nice Guys voiced their frustration. This is a superior audience anyway.