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gothoneybones Archive

View 2 posts and 158 comments by gothoneybones on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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6

I have recently been dealing with the most evil person I have ever come across in my life. I can't go into too much detail because of the context, but suffice to say me and two other women had red flags going up immediately, (mansplaining, just an absolute idiot who believed his unrelated qualifications made him an expert on everything, repeatedly ignoring women, etc), but in spite of that, when it was discovered just...HOW evil he was, it was still shocking. I mean like...if I shared ONE action…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 02:02 PM
22

goddamn this is (sadly) hilarious, my ex used to do this when we took my dog for walks, complete with pitching that same attitude when i asked him to please slow down. the red flags you don't realize are red flags until reflection...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 12:23 AM
4

Oh dang, I knew it was supposed to be tailored for relationships but I didn't realize that was actually in the TOS. Definitely going to start reporting, thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 08:31 PM
10

eHarmony is great but of course, being the only good dating site with a high enough paywall to keep out the trash, I live near a major city and my best matches are still prohibitively far away. I'd argue that, other than eHarmony, all dating sites at this point are being used as hook-up apps. Men just use Match, OKCupid, Hinge, and Tinder for the same purpose. The same man will have a Hinge profile that says "not looking for anything serious right now" and an OKCupid that says "looking for my so…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 04:52 PM
8

Ugh exact same story over here, right down to the suicidal threats and implications that I was less "pure" because of it. The whole experience just led me to believe the whole idea of "poly" and open relationship lifestyles is just driven by insecurity and fetishization with no thought for the actual, tangible consequences.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 08:48 PM
260

This is so sweet! Dude is probably in pain, still messed up from the pain meds and recent anesthesia, and he STILL remembered and wanted to show he cared about her <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 02:30 PM
20

"Three things I couldn't live without: Tacos, pizza, and sushi" oooooh, fascinating choices, Brad, tell me more! :o
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 02:47 AM
13

"They are no longer a part of my life" is enough if it comes up, but more importantly emphasize the close relationships you DO have. Not having close family ties is something abusive people will look for and try to exploit. They think it means you're already isolated and vulnerable. Anybody digging for details is being intrusive & trying to push your boundaries.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/20 04:15 PM
16

lmfao this has gotta be one of those dudes that asks "why am i still a virigin?" holy shit
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/20 02:51 PM
27

This is so true. So many LVM just see their wives as placeholders. Commitment means nothing to them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/20 01:42 AM
18

Alzheimer's is such a curse, I'm so sorry OP. But he really lived a loving life, what a sweet story and how lucky he must have made your grandma feel. ❤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 03:17 PM
3

I'm sorry. You're grieving, everything you're experiencing is normal. It does come in waves. Some days are easier than others. The waves get easier to deal with in time. & your brain truly is used to thinking about him all the time. He was part of your life. There really are pathways in your brain that are still being re-wired. But you're on the right track by removing reminders of him from your life. There will come a day when something brings up a memory of him, and you'll realize you haven't …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 03:20 AM
3

It's normal to think about the past and what could've been. It's not the end of the road, though. As time goes on, that past will be further and further behind you. You'll have so many opportunities in the future. You'll try new things, make new memories, and whatever is hurting you right now will just be a memory. & it's okay for you to feel conflicted during hard times. I'm guessing your heart wants you to hold on to connections you've made, but your brain knows they weren't serving you anymor…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 02:55 AM
14

The fact that you're reaching out for support somewhere that you know is a safe space already shows you're fighting for yourself! Reaching out when you feel down takes courage and strength! Give yourself a hug. You've got you. & it's okay to focus on resting and recovering sometimes when life gets to be too much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 11:24 PM
3

The thing that makes this so damn sad is that she's asking "how do I get over it", like her feeling insulted and devasted from an insult directed at her is wrong. Like honey don't "get over it", stay mad about it as you leave him!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 08:13 PM
20

EXACTLY. Ugh back when I was a pickme my ex-husband straight up pulled up different profiles of a popular cosplayer in scantily clad costumes and used to tell me "she used to be into me". Then he still expected emotional labor from me over his dozens of body insecurities. Men can fuck off with that "both sides" shit I don't feel bad for them, it's so much more pervasive for women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 04:43 PM
10

Even the "nice guys" might say nice things about our bodies but still try to control how we look, neg our ideas or our goals about our bodies, and give us a hard time if we change our physical appearance. All while still continuing to compare us to other women. I don't feel bad for men for their body insecurity anymore. If they don't like it they can get therapy. These teenie weenie losers' insecurities are not our problem to solve.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 04:36 PM
94

This is also why dudes asking for snapchat is a huge, glaring red flag. Every man who's asked me for my snapchat has turned out to be a LVM (and I'm dating men my age around 30, there is no reason other than fooling around that a grown man needs a snapchat). If a man cares about you and he's already got your phone number, then he doesn't need anything else unless he's trying to hide you or trying to send you dick pics.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 05:52 PM
66

Honestly the ghosting feels so much better than the paragraphs, too! If they gave a shit you wouldn't be sending paragraphs! Best case scenario and they actually read it, they'll just try to argue with you and invalidate you. Once you get over the "but it's rude to ghost, I should explain" programming, it's like a weight off your chest to just be like "this isn't fun anymore, block~"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 03:35 PM
2

Aw that is so sweet! I feel similar about my skittish 15-pound bodyguard of a dog :3 A man who will take the time to earn the trust of an animal is showing good behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 02:59 PM
12

In the full thread he actually straight up tried to manipulate her into doing it more often by saying that reddit would tell her to be more open and that's why she posted lmfao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 11:21 PM
200

wtf I'm gonna kinkshame this poopman
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 06:15 PM
7

I'm so sorry. Not an engagement, but I went through a divorce last year. Everyone's grieving process is different. Lean on your friends and family, and be patient with yourself. You have to feel your feeling to heal them. Whatever emotions you're feeling as you go through this period of loss are valid. Practice a lot of self-care, whatever that means to you. The grief will come in waves, but it gets easier to deal with as time goes on. Since it was amicable, you can be grateful for the time you …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 10:51 PM
7

I just blocked + deleted a dude for catfishing me lmao. Men complain that women will use deceptive angles and then show up being a lot bigger than they initially portrayed, but THEY DO IT TOO! Like, I guess I could date a guy who was bigger if he shared my active lifestyle and was honest from the start, but with how big this man was and how slick he covered it up, there was no way. & the funniest part was, he was actually one of the nicest guys I'd been talking to, and catfishing was the least e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 10:37 PM
5

I like those shows, too. It's totally tied up with trying to understand how men like that think. Plus, I honestly feel like I learn life-saving information from watching those shows. As an example, Denise Huber had a flat tire in the middle of the night and pulled over immediately to the side of the road on the LA freeway. She was tragically abducted and murdered. But did you know you can actually drive on a flat tire? It'll fuck up your wheel but you can do it and drive somewhere well-lit and s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 02:44 PM
2

Haha yes exactly! XD & just like overqualified hires, they're gonna bounce as soon as what they REALLY want becomes available! eta: or if they're exaggerating their CV then they're gonna let me down when they show they weren't actually qualified for the position, ooh that's another good reason to avoid these dudes >_>
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 12:58 AM
6

I guess I should've put that in quotes and explained it better. Basically like lovebombing, future-faking, that kind of thing. My usual type of guys I've been attracted to have had avoidant attachment styles, so I have to remind myself that guys who seem too committed too soon are just as much of a red flag as a guy who doesn't seem committed at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 08:51 PM
3

Thank you! :D I think another reason the approach works is because I'm channeling my boss bitch energy I don't usually use in casual relationships. I haven't found a HVM keeper yet but I'm culling those LVM sooner and without catching feelings. It's all business.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 07:40 PM
11

One of the things that's been helping me with the dating process is treating it like I used to treat hiring when I was a manager. Even if I had a crew that seemed perfect, life always happens so it's important to keep an eye on applications and be prepared to do prescreenings in case somebody quit or moved on. Sorting through applications and being objective about their experiences and qualifications and whether they're a good fit, not just thinking "they seem nice" or "they were friendly in the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 02:33 PM
35

god it's just coddling that reddit defaults to that any time a man acts like that. when women feel depressed we go to therapy. you tell a man to go to therapy and he'll literally say "they wouldn't understand how I feel" and just wallow. fuuuck that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 01:43 PM
96

It makes me sad, too. It makes me sad that us human beings are social animals and we're supposed to rely on each other, but most men can't be trusted to step up. So we have to take care of ourselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 09:06 PM
55

God even the minor details like him tossing his controller. And how he hyperfocuses on the examples she gives and not what she's trying to demonstrate with the examples.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 01:59 PM
6

It is 100% this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 09:38 PM
10

These same NVM that will rag on SAHMs (sometimes even the ones in their own family!) will then, if unemployed, take as much advantage of being unemployed for as long as possible while doing as little as possible. Even if there's no kids, they think "helping clean" is taking out the trash once a day and maybe ordering food in. I have seen it firsthand. THAT'S why they rag on SAHMs and think it's easy. Because that's what THEY would do. They won't help their wives advance their careers, they won't…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 09:36 PM
5

Because they'll drink past their limits with their guy friends and call it social drinking, this pickme showed she knows deep down it's too much by actually calling it for what it is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 03:08 PM
44

If any sub promotes forcing men to stay in relationships they clearly don't want to be in, they should be raising their pitchforks over relationships and relationship_advice. They're constantly promoting therapy and couple's counseling for women dealing with men who are clearly checked out and uninterested.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 02:18 PM
20

Jesus and not only was his response basically proving your point on how fucking insecure he was and how women sense that shit, he played the "oh but pity me for it!" card like you might give him some free emotional labor and comfort him lmfao. No fool get therapy 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 07:58 PM
65

Love that he put "sexual" in both the "about me" AND "about you". Like dude is so sleezy he had to let it out twice
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 02:06 AM
56

Haha nope! When I declined, he invited me to a real date! At his house! I blocked and deleted him lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 06:41 PM
67

I had a dude ask me if I had plans that day, I said yeah I needed to go to Target so I wasn't available but I was later that week. He asked me if he could join me since he had some stuff he needed to pick up, too. lmfao we hadn't even met in person yet!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 06:24 PM
56

Omg you are a total badass!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 03:18 PM
3

I think it depends on the game, honestly. The men I've seen get addicted are playing technically social games like MMOs or multiplayer FPS games, and those have little substance outside of their mechanics. No interesting stories, no creativity or imagination. Just skinner boxes and obsession.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 12:02 PM
6

Oh my god, that's so awful! I'm so sorry. He completely did not even care about your presence. He sounds so entitled to think that's an OK way to treat his wife. I hope you're never treated that way again. ❤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 04:55 PM
3

Thank you!! I have some ideas I've been sitting on for ages, and I'm definitely getting them once I save up the money to get them done well! :D & yeess it's so freeing to be removed from ANY shackles to the male gaze. We don't need those kinds of insecure men who don't bring anything to the table pitting women against each other and reducing us to what we look like. You're so supportive, thank you so much!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 04:46 PM
7

Ughhh I HATE when men do that "would I be an assole/would you be mad if I did..." and then it's followed by a clearly fucking asshole thing to do. But we're socialized to put their feelings first and go "ooohh honey nooo!" e_e I'm so sorry he did that to you. For me it was the opposite, any time I wanted to change my appearance, my ex would do the faux supportive "whatever you want to do but you look better THIS way" thing, so I did things like take out my lip ring for him, never got tattoos I w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 03:51 PM
30

Ugh as a natural redhead, I hate these types of men honestly. "Is that your natural hair colour?" is a red flag for me when it comes from men. Because if he already has preconceived ideas of what his perfect woman LOOKS like, he for damn sure has preconceived ideas of what his perfect woman will ACT like. It's so dehumanizing. You seriously rock and it's awesome you didn't try to change yourself to fit his fetish!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 02:55 PM
3

Hahaha omg I love that you're still denying him the satisfaction of knowing even over reddit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 02:55 PM
8

saaaaame lol. It's such a stupid lie of a big "holy grail" from relationship experts. they need to stop saying "cOmMuNnIcAtIoN" is the key and start telling men to LISTEN lmfao.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 09:45 PM
22

God I hate that we're socialized to be the Cool Girl. Play the same video games he plays with his friends, eat whatever fad diet he's on with him, let him go on about the music he wants to listen to...ad infinitum. But where IS the reciprocity? Where IS the man who will take an interest in YOUR hobbies and desires? Hate this shit. Done being a Cool Girl. My car, I listen to my music. Nobody complaining in the passenger seat that they "don't really like this kind of music". My free time, I do wha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 02:50 PM
6

He sounds lazy, insecure, and (at the very least!) like he had no boundaries with other women and wanted to monkey branch so he would always have a woman on the back burner. You did the right thing, your partner should absolutely make your life easier and more peaceful. You do deserve more!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 02:21 AM
4

Self-awareness is a type of social intelligence. If you're working on your confidence and know it needs to grow, that's a strength.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 02:06 AM
6

I still can't get over it, it makes me laugh every time. It's just so lazy, it's hilarious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 02:25 PM
6

Even if they do have a social circle outside of their partner, it's rarely one of quality. SO many men complain that they can't talk to their guy friends about anything, or that they know their guy friends are shit LVM but it's better than not having somebody to do things with. You're the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. When they don't have a stable woman in their life, that average drops significantly and maybe they start to realize it then.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 03:19 PM
12

They can't function alone even at that age? That'd be so sad if it wasn't their own fault. I seriously don't understand how men get past 30 without knowing how to cook for themselves. I literally talked to a man who signed up for Schwan because he wanted to start eating better than fast food every day. Like dude just...go to the store...buy vegetables wth? 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 03:08 PM
11

lmfao you're missing nothing, "poly" people converted me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 03:11 PM
2

the funniest pickme shit i ever did was doing laundry and trying to FOLD these stupid ass Holy Briefs lmfao.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 02:36 PM
1

Oh yours is awesome! Are you language learning? :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 02:14 PM
4

hahaha it's so fucking disgusting
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 07:03 PM
4

This one is good, it lets you upload the pictures you want and then do an "auto collage" to sort them :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 02:33 PM
370

"take her home and bag her" sounds like some serial killer crap, yeeuuck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 02:31 PM
2

That is so so sweet. You're his dreamgirl and he wants you to know it! 🧡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 01:43 PM
4

lmao I DO want kids and I still swipe left. If it's his, I don't want to raise another man's kids. If it's not, it's creepy as hell to put use someone else's kids as fodder on a dating app. also same for the other women in pics. Even if they tried to blur out their face lmao. Just take new pictures!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 01:34 PM
70

IDK, it's almost like tipping a penny, you know? Even more insulting than getting fed nothing XD
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 01:06 AM
7

That's exactly what it is. The irony lost on these people is that, with insecurities that run this deep, they should be OUT of relationships entirely, not trying to fill that void with two or three or whatever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 10:51 PM
40

~tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme~
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 01:53 PM
36

oh lord that sounds terrible! 😣 a whole city full of the breed of men that think they're always on to whatever ~super smart new thing~ that makes them better than everyone else. eugh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 12:16 AM
116

God I hate that whole "capable of loving more than one person" garbage and any analogy that says its possible to love more than one person romantically. The worst are when they compare it to having kids, like "would you love one child less than the other?" Like absolute nonsense. You build a life with a partner and have children with them, of course we're biologically wired to love all members of our families. It is NOT fucking possible to love more than one person as a life partner and be able …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 12:07 AM
40

lmfao YUP. 0 empathy. Or, worse, they'll play the "I feel like I was a different person when I did that to you!" Like NAH, just anything to weasel themselves out of taking responsibility for their actions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 07:39 PM
31

I think another important point when dealing with men like this is, if he hits a couple of the markers for sociopathy or narcissism (severe insecurity, fishing for pity, no regard to how his actions hurt you, using emotional manipulation, coasting from woman to woman and even overlapping them so he's never alone, etc etc)... It doesn't matter if he doesn't hit all the clinical markers! You're not his therapist! You don't have to diagnose him! Who cares if he has clinical sociopathy or narcissism…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 02:17 PM
9

I managed to get my ex-husband to attend one session with a marriage counselor. He lied point blank to her about what our issues were, got her to agree with him and for her to tell me I should just let him do whatever he wants anyways without listening to a single thing I said, and gave us her card. Made me feel so fucking gaslit, like maybe I was the crazy one after all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 10:12 PM
8

also, I’m willing to bad that your ‘mistakes’ where totally insignificant compared to his behaviour. We tend to blame ourselves and they gladly go along with it. It's because we're socialized to be amiable at all times. Especially if you don't value yourself and they can spin part of the blame onto you. There's this lie that if a relationship fails, it's because both parties must have had a part in it. Men like that because they don't have to take full responsibility for their heinous behavior. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 01:46 PM
50

They have 5 different profiles on different apps wanting different things—Leave this confused boy alone. It is honestly so beneficial when you find the same man over different apps. You really see their true colours. A guy can seem sane, cute, and interesting on one, and then have a whole damn tirade against women on another lmfao. Makes it easier to cull them out honestly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 02:45 AM
14

Honestly it still is today. Men don't value or appreciate the work women do to lift them up, support them, and help them get what they want. Better to spend that energy on ourselves and lift ourselves up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 01:36 PM
18

No man would ever “share” his Dreamgirl around like a six pack of beer on sale. So perfectly described!! ❤ & ohh I'm envious of the INFJ door slam. I need more of that energy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 12:41 PM
22

SERIOUSLY. It's so damn manipulative! They have no loyalty and they try to pass it off like it's "natural" or they can't control it, and that they "need" poly to be happy. Like fool get therapy don't traumatize your spouse so you can play stupid games.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 12:32 PM
13

He did the research! 😭 awww! 🧡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 12:23 PM
3

He was totally testing you. Grooossss.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 01:32 PM
14

The trauma cycle of neglect and emotional manipulation was familiar to the kind I grew up with, but wasn't the same as what I grew up with, so I thought it was "better" (there was actually some ways it was worse). Surrounding myself with positive HVW IRL has been instrumental in showing me I didn't deserve any of it, and that the way you've been treated doesn't mean you're doomed to keep being treated that way. ❤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 01:13 AM
14

I LOVE ALL OF THIS! Seriously, divorce SHOULD be celebrated. No good marriage ever ends in divorce. I'm legit planning my divorce party when my ex finally does his part to finish filing. Got an idea from another post on here to throw a "Nacho Wife" party, totally going to invite all my friends to join me on discord to stream tacky movies while eating nachos. & hell yes I'm going to get a tacky cake for it. 😎 (I'm also debating taking the piss out of engagement/pregnancy announcement photos and h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 12:46 AM
7

Dude did all that and even got STI tested at the clinic before even talking to her, & said he's not sure about paternity testing right now because the kids are his and he raised them and he doesn't want to lose anything else because of her. The thread is a total trip, this guy did not deserve any of what she did.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 01:14 PM
17

Going nuts waiting for the next update on this lol! 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 12:35 AM
35

I agree with this. I do think the person who does the cheating is more culpable, but any woman who knowingly involves herself with a man who is married has no self-respect and does not deserve pity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 08:55 PM
26

Thank you so much for this. It is hard when you genuinely enjoy the good parts of their personality, but when they are just tearing you down emotionally day after day? It's not worth it. I used to say my STBXH was my best friend. And he was. There was a lot to love about him, if you were just a friend. But he was a shitty, terrible, awful husband who put me through hell, and it doesn't matter how good of a friend he was if he couldn't step up when he needed to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 01:36 AM
33

OMG I just did this recently too! Drive-ins are officially better than theatres because you can wear your pajamas to them 😎
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 02:33 AM
25

Seriously, isn't Scarleteen still around? There are so many other safer places for kids to get expert advice than fucking reddit. This is so sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 09:22 PM
77

The smallest amount of emotional labor, which doesn't even feel like labor to us because it is so simple and obvious, is completely beyond a LVM's capacity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 05:21 PM
2

😂 oh this is hilarious
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 03:23 AM
31

Lundy literally points out in his book that these men don't destroy their own valuables. They're aware enough to know what they can get away with hitting without losing something they care about losing. It is totally manipulation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 01:37 AM
7

Just started reading this based on a recommendation and honestly, my favourite thing about that book is the validation that abusive behavior is not just putting hands on someone. I think we all know that intuitively, but it's entirely different when we're looking at our own situations and trying to reconcile neglect, manipulation, and infidelity with "but he didn't hit me and he was my best friend most of the time". The minute a man gives you ultimatums that make you uncomfortable, bangs on a lo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 01:34 AM
22

Honestly this is another big put off for dating during at all during COVID. I understand times are hard for people right now, but it's too much work to figure out if someone's really unemployed and relying on their parents because of the pandemic or if they're just using it as a cover. Had a similar situation recently where a guy told me he had just moved from out of state and was living with his dad and had lost his teaching job. Sucks, I get it. Turned out he moved from out of state over a yea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 01:00 AM
13

It's basically manchild behavior. Instead of being responsible and thinking about preparing for the future, they'd rather drop all their money on shit they don't need that builds up whatever "cool guy" image they want to have, feeds into their addictions, and puts them in debt.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 12:55 AM
26

"Internal change takes years of deliberate work and practice. If he’s practicing not being shit, then that’s what he’s good at. He won’t be consistent at being a good man if he’s not practiced." Needed to read the whole article but especially this ❤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 03:37 AM
17

"Women don't just pop out crazy, someone made them crazy" oooooh I love her <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 02:53 AM
37

Mother, therapist, cheerleader...its all about getting that free emotional labor on tap
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 09:09 PM
57

For LVM, it's all about the image. They aren't actually treating the next woman better, they just learn to fake it better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 01:57 AM
1

I would say yellow flag. It's mildly flirtatious, but if he starts getting a lot more heavy handed with the compliments before you know him too well it would turn into a red flag. Bottom line is if it makes you uncomfortable, then it's not right for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 01:51 AM
4

oh my god the desparation lmfao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 01:47 AM
5

Scorched and salted the Earth and moved the fuck on with my life last night after spending the last 5 months being in some "will he or won't he" bullshit with my separated ex-husband by sending the other girl he's been stringing along a message with all the lies he's been telling her and me. Don't know if she'll believe me but that's ok. It took 3 or 4 times for me to catch him in lies for me to say enough is enough. At least she got her first warning sooner rather than later, and I am no longer…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 01:41 AM
90

Honestly I'm at the point where rom coms and romance stories just make me sad af and I can't watch them anymore. Like, I have never met a man like that, & I don't think they even exist. Hell I can't even watch The Office anymore because Jim and Pam just seem too idealistic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 08:27 PM
2

The Madonna/Whore complex, in general, refers to the idea that most men only see women in one of two categories. The "Madonna" is maternal, nurturing, sexless and pure. The "whore' is...self explanatory. Cool girl and kinky and raunchy. To most men, you are either a Madonna or a whore. There is no in-between or valuation of you as an individual complex human being.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 01:20 AM
6

Literally the last 2 guys I just blocked/deleted did this shit and were in their early 30s. 😕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 10:19 PM
3

Oh my gosh that sounds so adorable though! XD she likes pats over pets!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 10:09 PM
96

🙌 polyamorist men are opportunistic scum incapable of devotion or loyalty, let alone love
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 02:09 AM
3

Wtf why is that so common?? My favourite is when they respond to "you seem angry" with "I'm not angry! You think THIS is angry?" Like, fool. Yes. Go take a fucking nap and time out and maybe you'll chill out lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/20 04:57 PM
21

& they are SO in denial over how angry they get, too! You mention they seem angry and they flip the fuck out because they lack any self-awareness of their own emotions and how they effect others
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/20 12:46 AM
95

They see that list and go "wtf be an adult?? your standards are too high"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/20 05:06 PM
5

Here's Anna Bey's video on dating strategy, it's pretty solid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/20 01:04 AM
13

Even if he is depressed, therapy doesn't work for men like this because they don't actually want to change. Even if she did schedule an appointment for him, even if she drove him to it, even if she waited in the waiting room for him, he will not change because he does not want to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 01:00 AM
13

Pretty much. The husband on this one responded with just this emoji: 🤷 Ha ha. Funny joke.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 09:28 PM
23

Honestly my problem isn't curved dick, I don't give a fuck about it. What I can't fucking stand is when its owner is so insecure about it that he won't shut up about it and fish for validation over it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 01:30 PM
3

jenna and julien and their dog family are my relationship goals ❤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 12:34 PM
4

I can't find it now, but there was a post on one of the relationship subreddits where a guy was just completely distraught after finding out his girlfriend had tried anal with someone else, didn't like it, and wouldn't do it for him. The comments were all on his side, as though her refusing to do anal was proof that she didn't love him as much as her ex. We aren't people with preferences, boundaries, and past experiences we've learned from. They only see it as notches to match because they're in…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 12:40 PM
9

I'm going to the movies! No sitting around looking at other couples, just enjoying a show for an hour or so. :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 02:36 AM
15

It comes from "Gone Girl" (amy dunne is a very...relatable villain lol)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 02:11 AM
20

So dorky, but I used to love Sonic the Hedgehog when I was a kid! So I'm really excited to go see the new movie after I get off work, I've been looking forward to it all week. 😅 I'm also going to treat myself to a nice dinner & buying myself some flowers because I just started a new job & I deserve it. <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 02:05 AM
12

They act like it's a fucking conquest thing and not like you're an actual person. Same story as you, before I met my ex-husband, I lost my virginity to my high school boyfriend. He could not fucking handle it. My number was ONE and he wanted an open relationship to fucking "match" it. He wanted to try anal so he could be my first "something" and it was disgusting. Hell, early in our relationship, I told him I'd made out with eight people. KISSING. He construed it in his head somehow that I'd giv…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 05:59 PM
32

If it's low, they think they can take advantage of you and push your boundaries because "how would you know you don't like it if you've never tried it?" If it's "high" (and 20 at 38 years old is not really), you get losers like this. Hell, even if your number is low but it's still just one or two higher than the man's, his ego will be bruised and he'll obsess with it until it breaks down the relationship (ask me how I know! 🙃)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 12:51 PM
2

Ugh, I recently fell prey to this. My STBXH said he hoped I was doing well and wanted to know how I was doing. I sent him a couple of paragraphs explaining how things were going for me, and how I missed our dog he kept. He sent me a selfie of himself with the dog & barely engaged in any other conversation. It just reminded me of how, our whole relationship, I was the only person that ever cared enough to maintain it. Being "friends" with him isn't going to work because it will always be one-side…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 02:52 AM
14

I also take issue with that one. I have no problem with someone who's experienced past trauma or ostracization when they were young, as long as they've shown healthy coping mechanisms to move past it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/20 01:20 AM
9

Wow, that's...not surprising, but clarifying. They must have an underlying assumption, then, that all those women are "potential partners." They'd rather expend less effort for each woman and end up frustrated and with nothing in return than invest heavily in one woman and appreciate her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/20 01:20 AM
6

I would honestly be too afraid of retaliation to do something like this. I've seen a couple of married men on OKCupid and have thought of digging for info to out them to their wives, but you never know what men like this are capable of. As nice of a thought it is to help those women out, it's more important to prioritize our safety. :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/20 11:46 PM
18

just stop using your genitals as your moral compass omg i love this 🙌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/20 08:35 PM
4

Therapy straight up doesn't work for most narcissists IIRC. They lack the ability to self-reflect in order to make any kind of progress, at best they just use it to justify their behavior by twisting their therapists' words.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/20 02:06 AM
21

People in the comments are defending him for paying more attention to a game that was already won anyways. Her grandmother, that she lived with for years, just went into hospice. She had to clear out her childhood bedroom, presumably a very sentimental place and a very difficult thing to do. She just wanted to reminisce about happier times, and this guy couldn't even turn off the TV to actually support her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/20 04:46 PM
57

This x1000. They raise their voices with anger, yet deny being angry and get even more upset when you point out their anger is uncomfortable to be around. I've never met a woman who punched a hole in a wall, but men will do it and still have the gall to accuse us of being overemotional.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/20 03:26 PM
30

Last Valentine's Day, I got my ex a nice thermos for his new job and a rose. He got me a grumpy cat plush that sang "love stinks" when you pressed the paw. It still had Dollar Store tags on it. He said "I didn't know it did that." 🙃 lol fuck weak ass gifts we deserve better. ❤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/20 06:09 PM
52

Ugh and men will complain that we get so many more likes than them. Yeah and they're all fucking shit and mean nothing, these dudes don't even read profiles, they just swipe on everyone. When I first got Tinder, I had 30+ likes before I even wrote a profile. What's the point? I uninstalled it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/20 04:45 PM
17

I wish this wasn't true, but it totally is and I'm adding myself as proof that this is a real dynamic. I pursued my ex-husband. Now I'm single because he didn't truly feel committed to me to begin with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/20 03:56 AM
2

aww thank you! 🤗
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 04:36 AM
17

I have depression. It's not an excuse. I still got a full time job making coffee so I could pay my bills without credit cards until my new 9-5 job starts (later this month! 🤞). I have never been unemployed for longer than 3 weeks. It sucks but if it's so bad you can't work you go to the fucking doctor about it. These men are like leeches. I can't believe he's putting everything on credit cards at almost 40 years old. She's offering to help pay for him to go back to school and his attitude is to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 03:41 PM
80

Ugh I want to respond to some of those comments but I know they won't listen. How is it manipulative to dump men that don't treat you the way you want to be treated? This sub does not advocate retaliatory ghosting, it advocates for "block and leave forever." How is it cheating to follow the Four Man Plan & tell men you date that they aren't the only one, and that commitment must be proven? I feel like they're cherry-picking the bit about "see a new guy sometimes helps distract from the one you’r…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 05:18 PM
10

😥 when's the last time he did that for HER tho??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 04:23 AM
3

& it's not even a cute bear! it's creepy as hell! 😱 edit: nvm it's not the same dude but honestly i have more questions. why are there MULTIPLE dudes like this??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 03:19 AM
22

~narcissism and porno fantasies lol~
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 02:54 AM
4

Even if you are extrapolating, if he's just met her then he should be his best behavior. If this is him at his best, it's all downhill from here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/20 04:24 PM
58

My ex always accused me of "overreacting" to things that, in hindsight, I should've been MORE upset about. No more letting other people minimize my feelings.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/20 02:15 AM
26

As soon as the divorce is finalized, he's blocked! Until then, it's zero unrelated communication & a little trash icon to remind me why.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/20 05:16 AM
27

I thought about sending something petty, but instead I changed his contact to "trash person" with a lil cartoon of a trash can lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/20 04:38 AM
34

I am resilient, adaptable, strong, warm, and a cheery optimist. I love this exercise ❤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/19 04:53 PM
3

ngl, having righteous anger justified on this sub is SO refreshing compared to the common narrative of "anger hurts you more than the other person" or "they're living rent free in your head!" like...I wasted years trying to be a good wife, a forgiving wife, an accommodating wife. My ex-husband never put in the same effort that I did. And it feels good to hear that I have a right to be angry that he wasted almost a decade of my time and that it's okay that I don't wish him well for it. Agghh than…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/19 04:59 AM
26

"I just think we're really about to make it big, and if I don't pursue it now I'll never have the chance again!" ~fucks off to play in the same dingy bars for 6 years~
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/19 04:41 PM
2

🤣🤣 amazing
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/19 03:46 PM
26

Agh same. My ex told me it was an "open relationship or divorce," I tried to make it work with open relationship. He was depressed for weeks after I saw a guy for a month, then spent 6 months pursuing one of MY coworkers. e_e It's just hypocritical, controlling narcissism. But hey, if we're on here, at least we aren't pick-mes anymore. <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/19 07:54 PM
25

YUP 👏 weak-willed and selfish
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/19 07:49 PM
23

lol and when the complete opposite happens they can't believe it, even though it's a tale as old as time
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/19 07:43 PM
8

YUP. My exhusband asked for an open relationship after browsing fetish sites, and he didn't even know what "polyamory" meant until I explained it to him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/19 05:41 PM
1

this is so cute 😭 especially when he talks about how he was nervous because he wanted to make sure it was special for her
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/19 10:23 PM
22

Medical malpractice towards women from doctors not believing they're in pain is bad enough, and this asshole was part of the problem. Fuck him, and good for her!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/19 03:02 PM
84

My love language actually IS physical touch, and sex is the teeniest tiniest fraction of what I need from a partner. For me, it's all about the hugs, tender touches, forehead kisses, massages... 😍 (but of course all these asssholes actually want is to pump without foreplay & then roll over lol)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/19 02:39 PM
14

damn, that's amazing. hope he keeps it up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/19 05:06 AM
11

Yes to all of this! I told my ex multiple times that "love is not enough," up to and including the conversation where I told him I wanted a divorce. It takes commitment, honesty, and a willingness to keep trying to make a relationship work. You can't just coast on "but I love you!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/19 12:06 AM
11

I worked in nursing homes at one point. Loved the older men that would "date" other residents, they would court and woo women just so they could eat meals together and sit in the living spaces together. They'd always go on about how much they loved their sweethearts. It was so sweet and would make both parties so much happier in such an abysmal place. And of course there were still the old men whose minds would be as intact as they could possibly be at 85+ and they'd waste their time skeeving on…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/19 02:12 PM
31

"Not to mention he has said he thinks of us as being married already or that our relationship is basically like we are married " Why do men use this cop-out? Like...no. It's so lazy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/19 01:07 PM
9

It is, especially because we're not therapists and we shouldn't have to be the ones trying to convince them they're fine! :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/19 05:47 PM
18

Especially on point 1, if the dude is insecure enough. He can be a regular looking dude and still have his head up his ass about how unattractive he is. It's not worth trying to correct them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/19 04:30 PM
16

Jesus, what is it with men blaming their insecurities on us AFTER we comfort them? It's like our word that we find them attractive isn't good enough, they have to create their own goddamn problems.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/19 11:42 PM
6

"The study found that men 45 and older can experience decreased fertility and put their partners at risk for increased pregnancy complications such as gestational diabetes, preeclampsia and preterm birth." So it affects the woman carrying the pregnancy, too. Good to know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/19 11:40 PM
48

you open up about a hard day & it's "this again? UGH." meanwhile when they're depressed they go on about ablooblooboo nobody understands them but NO they don't want to talk to a therapist, they wouldn't understand either! their feelings are too cOmPlEx~
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/19 12:05 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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