~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 15 | Boyfriend becoming less generous after several months?I can’t tell you what to do but I’ve been down that road many times. I think you hit the nail on the head when you said “if he doesn’t innately feel the desire to treat me/invest in a relationship, no words are going to change that”. When a man’s truly ready for a relationship, that masculine need to provide is there and it’s strong. | /r/askFDS | 17/04/22 06:00 PM |
| 30 | Boyfriend becoming less generous after several months?This. Any time resentment bubbles up in a relationship it’s a bad sign. Resentment usually means 1. You have a need that isn’t being met 2. You have a boundary that’s being crossed 3. You need reassurance 4. You need space. It sounds like it could be all 4 in this case, OP. I don’t think this guy is worth the anxiety. | /r/askFDS | 17/04/22 03:30 PM |
| 26 | All those men that you've made a first move on in the past never wanted you.I know - They think their stamp of approval is the greatest validation a woman could earn. Yuck. Thank you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/04/22 01:25 PM |
| 255 | All those men that you've made a first move on in the past never wanted you.The men I’ve chased made me pick them up and drive them around town, pay for everything, cook, clean, plan dates, buy gifts for their moms. It was exhausting. And then on top of all that, they resented me and negged me all the time (even cheated on me). Every time, I’d reach the point where I’d have to step back and ask “do you even like me?” And they’d roll their eyes and say “of course I do. Would I be spending this much time with you if I didn’t like you?” Like what?? Why was that always thei… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/04/22 02:18 PM |
| 12 | Opinion on my first dateNope. Any guy who gives you this much anxiety after a first date is not good for you. | /r/askFDS | 29/03/22 04:00 PM |
| 17 | Indefinite caretaker for my momI don’t have any advice, but I just wanted to say that you sound like an incredible woman who deserves an incredible partner. Taking care of your mother, while making six figures, while being in the military - wow. I feel like, if you were to put yourself out there, you’d have to kiss a million duds before you find your equal. I say wait for someone who also knows what it’s like to take care of a parent. Studies show that many men leave their wives when they have life threatening illnesses - my … | /r/askFDS | 12/03/22 03:57 PM |
| 45 | Are there men who never want sex?My friend is open and proud about being asexual and she only dates really cool, open minded, and respectful people as a result. She also has high standards, firm boundaries, and is very true to herself so I think that helps too. | /r/askFDS | 01/03/22 02:22 PM |
| 19 | I’ve been saying this… It only takes men just a few months to know if you are the one! 👆A man who dates a woman to buy time is an “opportunist” in every sense of the word. He will take advantage of every opportunity that comes his way. If it makes more sense to drag a woman along for years, he’ll do that. If it makes more sense to marry a woman after six months, he’ll do that. Opportunists see opportunities, not people. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/02/22 01:04 AM |
| 30 | Thoughts on a man who doesn't text to make sure you made it home?I personally like it when someone asks if I made it home ok or even sends me something related to what we talked about or laughed about that night. Makes me feel like the time we spent together meant something to them. That said, maybe it takes him awhile to build that kind of connection with someone (which is better than a lovebomber who tries to force intimacy too quickly) I say mark it as an orange flag while you continue the vetting process 👍 | /r/askFDS | 25/02/22 01:05 AM |
| 15 | Noticing a pattern of men comparing me to other women in their lives?This could definitely be true for some of the men who have said this to me. But then most of the time, it’s such a weird, awkward, random thing. Like I was borrowing a bike from my neighbor once and he saw me struggling to mount the bike (because it was a little too tall) and he laughed and said “Here let me help you. You’re just like Hannah (his daughter).” And then another time, I was getting excited telling a classmate about a show I was watching. I could kind of tell he was zoning me out, no… | /r/askFDS | 23/02/22 02:41 PM |
| 11 | Noticing a pattern of men comparing me to other women in their lives?You’re right - ew. You can tell they think they’re giving you the highest compliment when they give you their own stamp of approval 😑 | /r/askFDS | 23/02/22 12:54 PM |
| 18 | What does it mean if a guy has no friends?If you’re the only person a man does kind things for, puts a good foot forward for, puts forth effort for, etc. - he’s manipulating you. He’ll do what it takes to hook you and that’s it. Right now, he’s putting in an amount of effort he won’t be able to sustain. His kindness is a mask that will eventually slip and he’ll start leaving you by the wayside like all of his friends too. | /r/askFDS | 22/02/22 03:21 AM |
| 30 | Met my boyfriend's female friend yesterday and she treated me like shit to my face. Am I overreacting?Anger often stems from a boundary being crossed - your boyfriend just broke your trust in a major way. I think your gut is telling you that you deserve better. | /r/askFDS | 21/02/22 12:58 PM |
| 97 | Met my boyfriend's female friend yesterday and she treated me like shit to my face. Am I overreacting?You are not overreacting at all. This would upset me too and I’m sorry you’re hurting. Can your boyfriend cut her off completely? This is Toxic with a capital t. Edit: And yes, your boyfriend should have stood up for you. | /r/askFDS | 21/02/22 01:44 AM |
| 6 | Not sure if this guy is dull or just low effort?Good luck! And no pressure! If something feels off on the first date, honor your intuition. | /r/askFDS | 16/02/22 11:41 PM |
| 69 | Not sure if this guy is dull or just low effort?I think it’s a good sign he is taking covid seriously and being consistent about texting. As long as there aren’t any glaring red flags (trying to turn the conversation sexual, negging, not responding for a whole day, etc) I’d say give him a chance. It’s better when men treat you like the stranger you are in the beginning than lovebombing you and triggering your flight or fight response. | /r/askFDS | 16/02/22 07:31 PM |
| 30 | Prefer meeting men spontaneously and organicallyI feel the same way about OLD. I think it’s because it’s all so artificial. In real life, someone catches your eye, you catch theirs, you get to learn about them by observing them, seeing how they act around other people. There’s chemistry. There’s inside jokes. There’s shared experiences. There’s excitement. There’s the slow burn. All of your “firsts” together happen naturally. Online dating is so mechanical by comparison. I’m never doing it again. My time for an organic relationship will come!… | /r/askFDS | 01/02/22 02:42 PM |
| 5 | How do you vet a man who is measured with his words/careful about his image to you?I accidentally deleted my comment (sorry about that!), but this all sounds good. The best part is that he respects your boundaries. You’re doing a great job observing and vetting him, despite his quietness. Keep it up :) I guess another question is whether you like his communication style/demeanor. Is his reservedness something you could grow to love? Are you attracted to him? | /r/askFDS | 11/01/22 02:55 PM |
| 85 | Found out boyfriend used a prostitute 13 years ago. Heartbroken.I understand that people change but this has always been one of my top deal breakers. It makes my skin crawl too. I wouldn’t judge you for staying or leaving - your call ❤️ | /r/askFDS | 10/01/22 04:49 PM |
| 27 | Roasting and insulting as a form of jokingI believe the only thing you can safely tease someone about is something they can change in 10 minutes or less. Joking about a piece of food stuck in someone’s teeth - funny. Joking about the way someone walks? Not cool. Joking about someone’s glasses - not funny. They spent a lot of time and money buying those things. Lay off. So I’ve never liked teasing and sarcastic humor for this reason. Most people take it too far and it mostly feels like sugar coated cruelty to me. Maybe you could try usin… | /r/askFDS | 21/12/21 10:18 PM |
| 17 | What’s something a man did that gave you “the ick”?LMAO | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/12/21 03:10 AM |
| 40 | Preferring to meet men in a "spontaneous" mannerYou’re totally justified in feeling this way. While I like the control I get from online dating (it makes it easier to vet a man from a distance), many men don’t see online matches as real people with real lives and emotions. When I asked a guy why he was on dating apps, he told me it’s easier to dump women if something goes wrong…. Straight from the mouths of scrotes, I guess. Ha ha. And I believe this is a huge reason why dating apps draw avoidant men in - they like that easy exit from commitm… | /r/askFDS | 04/12/21 03:49 PM |
| 195 | Beware of men who engage in avoidance, intimidation, infantilisation, or emotionally abusive manipulations when you bring up a concern. The very moment he displays any of the following (& more), DROP him! Do not let men damage your health.A guy picked me up and swung me around while I was crying after a hard day and I left him that night. Hell. No. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/12/21 09:30 PM |
| 16 | Flashbacks to assault (trigger warning)I’m so sorry. I’m 8 years away from my sexual assault and every year gets easier. I hesitate to say every day gets easier because the flashbacks and set backs are real. It’s one of those things where you don’t realize how much you’re healing while it’s happening - you just have to trust the process ❤️🩹 it’s ok to have bad days, you’re stronger than you know, and you didn’t deserve what happened to you. It wasn’t your fault and what happened to you doesn’t define you. | /r/askFDS | 01/12/21 08:37 PM |
| 9 | Touchless Date, should I be relieved or concerned?This sounds like a great plan. I’m proud of you for staying removed and objective during the vetting stage. Keep us updated and let us know if there are any red flags that come up in the sexuality conversation. | /r/askFDS | 30/11/21 02:35 PM |
| 20 | Touchless Date, should I be relieved or concerned?Ahh interesting. Demisexuality is very nuanced. I, myself, think I’m somewhere on the spectrum but I still love to give and receive physical touch. I think, demisexuality aside, you don’t want to have to initiate everything in a relationship (nobody wants that) and it sounds like you would have to do that with this guy. If you really like him, you could ask him about his sexuality? See if that leads you to some answers? But in my experience, with the touch averse guys I dated, I also had to take… | /r/askFDS | 30/11/21 02:22 PM |
| 69 | Touchless Date, should I be relieved or concerned?I’ve dated a couple of guys who never made a move. It made me feel safe for a while but after 2 or 3 months, it made me anxious. I’m realizing I need a man who has a healthy relationship with touch. Most men only touch women with the intention of it leading to sex. Some men, like the guy you’re dating, are terrified of touch. But there are some men out there who will give you a random hug just to hug you and a spontaneous kiss just to kiss you - that’s healthy physical touch (imo). | /r/askFDS | 30/11/21 02:05 PM |
| 1 | ConfusedOf course ❤️ | /r/askFDS | 23/11/21 01:13 PM |
| 7 | I’m discovering that MOST men are to some degree narcissistic, sociopathic, or borderline…what are the red flags we should all be aware of ?Thank you. I agree that the point about mothers and sisters can vary. Most of my exes did everything a decent son/brother should for their moms and sisters (answered their calls and texts, got them gifts, went out for their birthdays) but didn’t do anything beyond that. Basically only gave them the bare minimum. And when their moms and sisters expressed any kind of need, they rolled their eyes and begrudgingly complied. These were the guys who always looked down on their friends’ girlfriends too… | /r/askFDS | 22/11/21 07:33 PM |
| 48 | I’m discovering that MOST men are to some degree narcissistic, sociopathic, or borderline…what are the red flags we should all be aware of ?Are you the only person he treats well/respects? How does he talk about others? How does he talk about women? How is his relationship with his mom/sisters/the women who raised him? Would you trust him watching your pets/kids/plants for a weekend alone? How does he treat you when you’re sick? How does he react when you set a boundary/say “no” to him? How impulsive and reactive is he? Is he always the victim in the stories he tells? | /r/askFDS | 22/11/21 01:48 PM |
| 4 | Is this HV behavior?Exactly! It took me a long time to spot the difference. The same rule can be applied to women who make objective comments about your appearance… beware. | /r/askFDS | 21/11/21 06:16 PM |
| 10 | Is this HV behavior?Listen to your gut. You’re right that the “you look young” comment is weird. I’ve learned that when men “observe” my appearance/physical qualities: “you look like…” “your voice is so high pitched” “you dress like a grandma” “you look like you’re in high school” “you are so short” “your glasses are so big” “you say ‘um’ a lot” They are actually objectifying me and negging me. The men who have actually cared about me as a person in the past have never made objectifying comments like this. They mig… | /r/askFDS | 21/11/21 04:01 PM |
| 91 | ConfusedHe’s a rapist and none of this was your fault. I’m so sorry. Block and delete him and forget the mutual friends. If they start asking questions, it might be them trying to collect dirt/drama. Choose who you talk to and the information you share wisely. Listen to your gut. I also recommend using a crisis hotline. The trained responders can walk you through your feelings and options. | /r/askFDS | 20/11/21 10:56 AM |
| 17 | Are these red flags, or am I reading too much into things?When you end things with him, I agree that ghosting is totally acceptable in this case - he seems controlling and scary, you haven’t been dating that long, AND he go weeks without seeing you. This isn’t a boyfriend. If you decide to have a conversation with him, though, do it over the phone, and try to stay as emotionally neutral as possible. I’ve made the mistake of being too emotional while breaking up with abusive men and they see it as an opportunity to verbally abuse me. Keep things plain a… | /r/askFDS | 19/10/21 01:09 PM |
| 25 | Have you longed-for a relationship and managed to snap out of it?Think about your future self living her best life and waiting for you to come and meet her. Think about how excited she is to show you the beautiful life she has created for you. Try to think about her instead of a future boyfriend 💖 | /r/askFDS | 15/10/21 02:53 PM |
| 7 | Any advice on how to cope with not having people in my life?I can’t recommend it enough. My dogs have saved my life. | /r/askFDS | 01/10/21 03:39 PM |
| 23 | Any advice on how to cope with not having people in my life?I’m sorry you are feeling lonely. Your feelings are totally normal and many of us have been there (I know I have). Does your building allow pets? Have you considered rescuing a cat or a dog? You could start an interior decorating account on Instagram, tik tok, Pinterest, tumblr, etc? All of us here at fds are soooooo proud of you for leveling up and moving into your first 1br by yourself. THAT’S AMAZING ❤️ congratulations and enjoy the freedom! | /r/askFDS | 01/10/21 12:02 PM |
| 31 | Remind me if we’re ever supposed to initiate and plan dates?If he’s serious about you, then he’ll plan the next date. “I don’t chase, I attract. What belongs to me will simply find me.” | /r/askFDS | 27/09/21 01:46 PM |
| 20 | Dudes who lay it on thick during initial talking phaseHVM with secure attachment will treat you like the stranger you are until you’ve advanced to the next level of familiarity. Intimacy and trust take a slow and easy time to build - they should never be rushed. | /r/askFDS | 09/09/21 04:32 PM |
| 1 | My bfs ex gf is dating a friend of mine. Do I need to talk to him about it?Totally understandable. I don’t think there is anything wrong with confiding in your bf either, but only if you want to. It has to feel right. | /r/askFDS | 26/08/21 07:46 PM |
| 9 | My bfs ex gf is dating a friend of mine. Do I need to talk to him about it?Can you make your relationship more noticeable/obvious/public on social media? The reason I ask is because I think your friend and his girlfriend will eventually put 2 and 2 together and realize how weird it would be for the four of you to hang out. Or, if you’re close enough to this friend, you could confide in him and tell him you’re uncomfortable. I’m sure he would want to know and would also feel uncomfortable hanging out with your bf. | /r/askFDS | 26/08/21 10:18 AM |
| 3 | Confronting a Cheating Ex & Removing His FriendsOf course love! Give yourself plenty of time. You will have your ups and downs but things will get better! | /r/askFDS | 23/08/21 09:54 PM |
| 7 | Confronting a Cheating Ex & Removing His FriendsI’m so sorry. Don’t be embarrassed. There is nothing embarrassing about wanting love or trusting a liar. None of this was your fault. You will grow stronger from this. I know it. You’re right - they deserve each other. You deserve the best of the best ❤️ | /r/askFDS | 23/08/21 08:46 PM |
| 13 | How can I help a friend who’s torn up over her NVX getting married?Tell her that personal growth and change takes a loooooot of work - work that most people, especially nvm, aren’t willing to do. In fact, nvm jump from woman to woman in an attempt to avoid personal growth. He’s still the horrible person she dated. His poor wife just hates herself enough to stay. | /r/askFDS | 23/08/21 03:56 PM |
| 30 | Confronting a Cheating Ex & Removing His FriendsI confronted an ex once. I had been feeling a burning need to speak up and advocate for myself for a long time, so I finally caved and sent him a text. I blocked him on everything first, though, so I wouldn’t have to read his response. I don’t regret doing it, but looking back, I see I could have grown and healed without sending that text. And if I could go back and change anything, I would have written a shorter message. The more you write, the more you’re showing him you still care. Sometimes,… | /r/askFDS | 23/08/21 03:37 PM |
| 69 | How do we vet successful men to see if they previously used a woman to “build them up” before leaving her from earth they became successful?Ask him what his longest relationship was like and why it ended. Ask him about his core values and beliefs. Ask him about his relationship with his mom. Observe him. Green flags: Is he a dedicated, committed person in general? Does he believe in/stand for something bigger than himself? Does he take accountability for his mistakes? Red flags: Does he hold any grudges against his exes? Is he ego driven? Does he have grass is always greener syndrome? Does he talk about the one who got away/the myth… | /r/askFDS | 23/08/21 03:53 AM |
| 51 | Can men who engage in hook up culture/casual sex, turn around and happily commit to long term monogamous relationships without cheating/hall passes/porn addiction etc.Once upon a time, I sold my soul to the pickme devil and changed a fuck boy. Long story short: getting “picked” wasn’t worth it. Most days, it feels like I’ll never get that dignity back. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/08/21 02:59 AM |
| 43 | Importance of partner's family when vetting?This is a great question. I would choose B because a man with emotional intelligence is rare. His passion, integrity, and emotional intelligence would make him a great dad. I’m sure these qualities would open doors for him, professionally speaking, too. He would have to have a good relationship with the women in his family though. I dated a guy who resented his family and hated where he came from. It was hard to watch him disrespect his mom. | /r/askFDS | 19/08/21 02:42 AM |
| 13 | Is it normal to never be comfortable in dating apps?Yes. Dating apps are designed for men, not women. | /r/askFDS | 18/08/21 07:16 PM |
| 13 | Is this a manipulation tactic?“Type casting” sounds about right. Every time he makes an assumption about me, it feels like he’s putting me in a box. I’ll start reading The Gift of Fear today. Thank you. | /r/askFDS | 18/08/21 11:51 AM |
| 14 | Is this a manipulation tactic?hugs | /r/askFDS | 18/08/21 01:44 AM |
| 18 | Is this a manipulation tactic?I really needed to read this today. Thank you!! ❤️ | /r/askFDS | 18/08/21 01:41 AM |
| 25 | Is this a manipulation tactic?You’re right - thank you! | /r/askFDS | 18/08/21 01:38 AM |
| 30 | Is this a manipulation tactic?You’re so right. Thank you for making me feel better about this. That last thing you said about maturity is spot on. He reminds me a lot of the mean popular guys in high school who would flirt with unpopular girls, like myself, as a joke. I think that’s why it’s so triggering for me, but I won’t let him get to me. | /r/askFDS | 18/08/21 01:33 AM |
| 52 | Is this a manipulation tactic?You’re so right. I’m taking the bait when I try to defend myself. It’s scary that he’s figured out how to get under my skin and probe around. I love the “Are you okay?” line. Thank you. I want to make him as uncomfortable as he makes me. | /r/askFDS | 18/08/21 01:30 AM |
| 71 | Is this a manipulation tactic?“Mirroring” is the perfect way to describe it. He slides these rude assumptions into our conversations all the time, but I will shut them down from now on. I don’t want him knowing anything else about me. | /r/askFDS | 18/08/21 01:24 AM |
| 4 | anyone else feel hard to make a connection since being lovebombed by a LVX?Look back at all of the people you’ve felt naturally drawn to in your life - the people you just “clicked” with at school, work, whatever. And these don’t have to be romantic interests. They can be friends, people you briefly crossed paths with, your hairstylist, a neighbor. That’s chemistry! It’s hard to come by. I’ve only felt it with a handful of people in my life. But you know it when you find it. (Manipulators are good at creating a false sense of chemistry/intimacy so you have to watch out… | /r/askFDS | 17/08/21 11:26 PM |
| 160 | Why do men try to downgrade you from literal GIRLFRIEND to FWB? I've seen this play out multiple times.I think a lot of men have fomo/grass is always greener syndrome when it comes to women until the day they die. Even at the altar, these men are panicking at the thought of “wasting” the rest of their life with one woman. So basically, they’ll try whatever manipulation tactics they can to have their cake and eat it too. One of the most common ways of doing this is to keep women as placeholders until that mythical “perfect” women magically appears before them. Meanwhile, a lot of women with low se… | /r/askFDS | 11/08/21 01:54 AM |
| 14 | Have you ever truly felt immediate "sparks", or was it just lovebombing/emotional vulnerability on your part?I think there should be some giddy excitement. Not the kind of love sickness that comes with lovebombing but a small stomach flip when you see a text from them. Even then, though, vet vet vet. And date a few other people while you’re at it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/08/21 11:38 PM |
| 6 | Texting as a vetting strategyYes! You’ll find it! | /r/askFDS | 09/08/21 07:51 PM |
| 27 | Texting as a vetting strategyI’ve said this in a few other comment threads before, but I’ll say it again: texting compatibility is so freaking important. It’s been the earliest predictor of emotional chemistry in my experience. Don’t let anyone gaslight you into thinking your standards are too high. This guy was showing you the amount of time and energy he was willing to put into your relationship and it wasn’t enough for you. Period. You did the right thing walking away. Same rules apply to guys who text too much and deman… | /r/askFDS | 09/08/21 06:53 PM |
| 37 | DISRESPECT NEVER GETS BETTER“The more I mess up, the more she’ll love me” - Lvm’s perfect love story “The less I mess up, the more he’ll love me” - pickme’s perfect love story So messed up 😞 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/08/21 06:26 PM |
| 50 | DISRESPECT NEVER GETS BETTERMy ex said something similar. He said “I know I keep messing up, but you keep coming back. That has to mean something right?” | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/08/21 05:52 PM |
| 18 | DISRESPECT NEVER GETS BETTERThis is the perfect way to describe it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/08/21 05:50 PM |
| 49 | Can someone explain why a man with mommy issues might crave attention and validation from other women/seek out more female friendships?I’ve been thinking about this question a lot actually. As I learn more about masculine and feminine energy, it’s starting to make sense. Since we really only reward toxic masculine energy in modern society, we are, in turn, repressing and harming healthy feminine energy. If you google search “wounded feminine” you’ll find a list of signs like low self worth, manipulative, stuck in victimhood, waiting to be saved, etc. (a list that basically describes every man I’ve dated in the last 10 years). I… | /r/askFDS | 26/07/21 08:59 PM |
| 36 | Someone inviting you back to their place on first date = automatic LVM?That was a creepy move on his part. You were right to listen to your gut. Proud of you. | /r/askFDS | 17/07/21 04:14 PM |
| 9 | My new partner seems to be putting me on a pedestal, how do I respond?Would you mind sharing other ways he puts you on a pedestal? I think I’ve been in similar situations and might be able to give you advice. For the most part, though, anxious men aren’t the best partners. In my experience, they turn controlling and resentful. | /r/askFDS | 15/07/21 11:05 PM |
| 9 | Did I spot the breadcrumming?He’s showing you how much time and effort he is willing to give you. It’s up to you to decide whether you are willing to take it or leave it. I would leave it. The fds handbook would advise you to leave it too. You deserve better ❤️ | /r/askFDS | 14/07/21 10:39 PM |
| 29 | Friend says I’m being a ‘psycho’ but I don’t agree. This is a huge red flag right?He’s already using triangulation to manipulate you. (Bringing another woman into the picture to make you insecure and work harder for his love) Block him and find new friends. I’m on the other side of this same story if you ever need some moral support. It’s hard to walk away but once you’re free, you’ll feel invincible. | /r/askFDS | 24/06/21 02:46 PM |
| 6 | Do I Contact His Ex?I’ve had this temptation in the past but I think it’s best to hold your head high and look forward. I think you are maybe second guessing his abuse (because he probably gaslit you into thinking you were crazy and overly sensitive) but you don’t need his ex to tell you that the abuse you suffered through was real. You know it was real. Everyone in this comment section knows it was real. None of this was your fault. The best thing you can do now is redirect all of your energy back into yourself an… | /r/askFDS | 23/06/21 08:57 PM |
| 12 | Q: Any suggestions for a response when an out of town guy asks you to pick a restaurant?“I’ll let you pick. I don’t like making plans 😇” Act simple and clueless. This is the best way to spot deadbeats and manipulators. The deadbeats will get frustrated and give up when they realize you are expecting them to do some work and the manipulators will happily seize the opportunity to control you. | /r/askFDS | 19/06/21 04:54 PM |
| 8 | Unknowns causing anxietyI second this. Our intuition is aware of so much more than our conscious mind. It is there to protect us. If you get bad feelings about someone, you have to listen to your gut. Sometimes saying “I’m feeling uneasy about this. Is there is something you’re not telling me?” Is a good way to test someone’s intentions. | /r/askFDS | 18/06/21 06:54 PM |
| 44 | How to begin and end a pre-date screen?If you don’t like the convo or get bad vibes from the guy, try to turn into the quietest and most awkward version of yourself and tell him that you need to go. Whatever you do, don’t feel pressured to fill the awkward silences. Conversely, if he’s talking about himself too much, don’t attempt to turn it into a two way conversation. Let his narcissism reveal itself and tell him that you need to go at the earliest silence. It’s not your job to make the conversation go well. Let him do the work. | /r/askFDS | 10/06/21 06:57 PM |
| 37 | I can’t focus on work after ex contacted me. How do you stay focus?These mfs. I swear to god. I’m still haunted by a message my ex snuck into my voicemail box last summer. They know what they’re doing. Don’t fall for it sis. Move on and find peace. | /r/askFDS | 07/06/21 06:02 PM |
| 38 | Was it ...?I’ve been through this exact same thing. I’m so sorry. I know the pain and confusion you’re in. I was stupid enough to keep letting him use me as a back up option for YEARS. Your ex will come crawling back eventually, but don’t be me. Don’t make mistake and let him use you. Those are years I will never get back. I say channel your worth and your anger! Block him, level up, and date your heart out. With time, you will learn to hate him for what he did to you, and that’s when it will get easy to f… | /r/askFDS | 05/06/21 12:55 PM |
| 8 | The bigger a dude, the nicer he tends to be. I don't even care about height from an aesthetics standpoint, but I don't date short men because they usually have a Napoleon complex and terrible personality.I love that Billie quote! So true. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/06/21 01:43 AM |
| 38 | Why do i feel like thisIf something feels wrong about the situation, then you have to listen to your gut. Your intuition knows more than your conscious mind is aware of. | /r/askFDS | 01/06/21 01:36 AM |
| 183 | The bigger a dude, the nicer he tends to be. I don't even care about height from an aesthetics standpoint, but I don't date short men because they usually have a Napoleon complex and terrible personality.This. Ugly men are so miserable and mean and they cheat. The ugliest guy I dated was constantly nitpicking my appearance and sending me semi nude photos of his celebrity crushes. Meanwhile he looked like a caveman troll hybrid and I never said a word 🙄 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/05/21 04:24 PM |
| 25 | How do I raise my self esteem after past rejections?Rejection isn’t personal. Romantic interest/attraction is very specific and unique to each person and people are usually just attracted to the people that trigger their flight or fight response. Secure people look for commitment and compatibility but insecure people will chase after old childhood wounds. Sounds like these guys weren’t ready for commitment or didn’t feel like they deserved you. And maybe you were attracted to these emotionally unavailable guys because you felt like you didn’t des… | /r/askFDS | 29/05/21 03:00 PM |
| 29 | I'm disgusted by male sexuality - what do I do?I’m in the same boat and I wish I had advice. My plan is to stay abstinent until someone can be tender and vulnerable with me. I need to feel completely safe and loved before having sex with someone. My old pick me self had sex to feel chosen and desired. Now I need love, respect, and commitment. Nothing less. | /r/askFDS | 28/05/21 04:51 PM |
| 28 | Did I do the right thing?Thank you 🙏 this was the biggest pick me test I’ve passed. I’m feeling good! | /r/askFDS | 25/05/21 06:54 PM |
| 14 | Did I do the right thing?That second part brought a happy tear to my eye. Thank you. | /r/askFDS | 25/05/21 06:53 PM |
| 34 | Did I do the right thing?Thank you. I’m feeling empowered and will leave this in the past now ❤️ | /r/askFDS | 25/05/21 06:51 PM |
| 30 | Recently made out with a guy I’m seeing and he came in his pants. What does that say about his porn usage? Should I be concerned?I’ve dated one porn addict who had this problem, but I’ve also dated another guy who didn’t watch any porn who also struggled with this. Both of them had depression and a history of antidepressant usage which might have had something to do with it? I honestly don’t know. All I know is that the sex was very lonely and unfulfilling. I always felt like crying afterward. | /r/askFDS | 23/05/21 10:49 PM |
| 3 | I dont understand what happened with this guyA man can like you (even to the point of sleeping with you) and still not want you. It’s a hard pill to swallow, I know, and I’m sorry he’s been using you and causing you pain. You deserve better. Block and move on ❤️ | /r/askFDS | 17/05/21 05:17 PM |
| 8 | TextingFor me, it’s more about the style of texting, rather than the number or frequency of texts. Basically, a guy’s texting style should be compatible with yours: He should be sending you the kind of texts you like to send and receive, as frequently as you like to send and receive them. Anything more or less could be a sign of incompatible communication styles. (Just my two cents. I have a lot of experience texting men with shitty communication skills lol) | /r/askFDS | 16/05/21 11:01 PM |
| 2 | How to reject a guy?I know it’s hard to cut things off but you did the right thing. I’m proud of you for putting your needs before this guy’s feelings. He will get over it. I promise! Edit: Sorry I missed some important points! Slow fading is fine too but I’ve found that it is much better to cut things off firmly and resolutely with no questions left in the air. This guy that you saw running will get the hint eventually. | /r/askFDS | 11/05/21 07:58 PM |
| 5 | Is it normal to dislike OLD?I’ve tried so many times with OLD and I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s just plain dangerous. And I mean dangerous. It’s all smoke and mirrors (as if men weren’t already scary and deceptive enough). Try to meet someone through friends. It’s the safest way to go. | /r/askFDS | 11/05/21 03:59 PM |
| 3 | I ended it with a textHe was either getting comfortable or getting cold feet - both are bad so you did the right thing. Block and don’t look back. You’re free! | /r/askFDS | 11/05/21 03:51 PM |
| 3 | How to reject a guy?If I’ve been seeing a guy for less than a month, I block their number before sending my rejection text so I don’t have to see any threats or repeated calls. Your text will still go through but you won’t be able to get any texts or calls from them in return. I’ve tried to end things with guys I barely know in person or over the phone and it’s never pretty. People get blocked and ghosted all the time. You don’t owe this guy anything. He’ll forget you with time. | /r/askFDS | 11/05/21 01:42 PM |
| 8 | Dating guys you don't have feelings forWhen I’m not excited about a guy, I usually find that he’s not that excited about me either. He doesn’t ask meaningful questions about my life and I don’t ask him meaningful questions about his. It’s all very surface level stuff (“what’s your favorite show?” “what’s your favorite color?”) because there’s not enough of a soul connection there. Move on. (Note that meaningful questions are not the same as creepy invasive questions. If a guy is asking you overly personal questions that make you unco… | /r/askFDS | 10/05/21 06:43 PM |
| 10 | Thought he was a HVM until he said those 4 words 🥴The most predatory guy I dated drove a long way to see me so I can confirm that this is a red flag. It’s impulsive and dangerous behavior. I agree with hhjjuuy here. Don’t believe anyone who says a long drive to meet a woman for the first time is romantic, OP. If a man can’t find a date in his own city (unless it’s a population of 100), you have to wonder what’s wrong with him. He’s trying to make you feel special and seen. (Lovebombing you) You have something he wants and he’ll violate all of y… | /r/askFDS | 09/05/21 02:24 AM |
| 40 | Thought he was a HVM until he said those 4 words 🥴You’re right to feel anxious about this. His intensity could show up in other, very bad ways later (ie blowing up at you if he isn’t getting something he wants). Also, the fact that he’s speaking of his ex in a negative light and not taking any responsibility for why the relationship didn’t work out is a really bad sign. He’s manipulating you. | /r/askFDS | 08/05/21 06:07 PM |
| 2 | What to say when —I don’t trust any man who asks these questions. | /r/askFDS | 04/05/21 03:43 PM |
| 15 | My husband has admitted to watching porn again and I have no idea what to do about it.What the fuck is wrong with him???? This is abuse. You need to leave NOW. | /r/askFDS | 04/05/21 03:41 PM |
| 11 | Valid reason to break up ?Lying about the vaping is a very valid excuse. What else is he keeping from you, you know? | /r/askFDS | 01/05/21 03:49 PM |
| 19 | The women in my life keep telling me sex is not a big deal and that I should just do it because I'm 23 F and a virgin. But I don't want to allow men to have easy access to my body. How do I explain that casual sex is not empowering to me?On the one hand, I don’t think virginity should be played up so much. It’s one of the most sexist, archaic, bogus, and detrimental social constructs in existence. BUT you should NEVER have sex with an lvm. I saw a woman on tik tok today (I wish I knew her name off the top of my head) who said “when are we going to talk about the fact that men don’t want sex? They just want a body to masturbate with.” It’s true. Don’t give these scrotes what they want. Have sex on your terms and with men who have… | /r/askFDS | 30/04/21 10:25 PM |
| 3 | guy(24m) I(20f) recently started talking to giving me mixed feelings, am I going to get played by him?Guys who are this smooth are smooth with every girl. They also like the thrill of charming women so they are very likely to get bored and leave or cheat later on. It's just the way it is. Sorry babe :( I know it feels nice but don't fall for it. | /r/askFDS | 26/04/21 03:43 PM |
| 18 | I Am In Extreme Need Of Assistance Of How To Get Rid Of A StalkerI'm so sorry you're going through this. Block him on everything if you haven't already. Call your cell provider and ask them to block his number. This is better than simply blocking his number on your phone. When you do it through your cell service, he will get a "you have been blocked" message. Pause all of your social media accounts. Stalkers feed on any kind of attention, good or bad. So as much as you're going to want to scream "leave me alone!" in his face, don't do it. Start creating a pap… | /r/askFDS | 24/04/21 10:01 PM |
| 6 | Is this the new norm ?Thanks for starting this important conversation 🙏 | /r/askFDS | 24/04/21 07:11 PM |
| 40 | Am I insecure or is he just... not itYour last statement is so powerful and important. It’s true. Actions mean so much more than words. A man’s love and respect for you will SHOW. You will feel it without having to hear it. | /r/askFDS | 24/04/21 05:53 PM |
| 83 | dump his assI already have it memorized hahah | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/21 04:22 PM |
| 368 | PSA: Men are learning about FDS but like most things they don't get it all. Stay on Scrote Watch!Exactly. And they’ve been calling us “bitches” “hos” “pieces of ass” “thots” “basic” “broads” “old ladies” “ball and chains” “butterfaces” and rating us from 1-10 for ages. They’re lucky to get “lvm” and “scrote” | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/21 04:20 PM |
| 6 | Is this the new norm ?Ahh huge red flag!!! So proud of you for doing the research and leaving him. | /r/askFDS | 24/04/21 03:48 PM |
| 8 | Is this the new norm ?Yes! Checked off his list is the perfect way to put it. It’s the worst feeling. The job thing is weird too. I’ve noticed that these talkative types are (literally) all talk. | /r/askFDS | 24/04/21 03:46 PM |
| 28 | Is this the new norm ?I’ve been wondering the same thing! It seems like a lot of guys I’ve been seeing/talking to lately like to text one HUGE text a day when it’s convenient for them. I hate it so much. I wait and wait and wait, only to get a wall of text about dry surface levels things like music and movies or whatever. I’d much rather get quick stories, memes, tik toks, or “how’s your day?” texts throughout the day. To me, this shows that someone sees something that brings them joy, thinks of me, and wants to shar… | /r/askFDS | 24/04/21 02:49 PM |
| 5 | Men only know to console you through physical affectionThe forced kisses are disgusting and real. My nvx (who had no conscience and no filter) told me that he got turned on when he saw me crying. How sick is that? It’s probably Hollywood for most men, like you said, but maybe some men associate crying with porn and bdsm? Who knows. All I know is that there is something very wrong with a man who feels the urge to kiss a woman when she’s crying. | /r/askFDS | 24/04/21 03:48 AM |
| 4 | Am I being too sensitive?100% | /r/askFDS | 24/04/21 03:39 AM |
| 22 | How to vet female friendships in personAsk yourself “do I feel lifted up after spending time with this person or do I feel drained?” Another good question to ask yourself is “would I trust this person with an important task?” My therapist helped me see that my stomach would drop at the sight of texts from certain people or at the thought of hanging out with certain people. She told me that this was my gut telling me to set some boundaries. I hope this helps! I struggle a lot with boundaries too. | /r/askFDS | 22/04/21 03:52 PM |
| 2 | Back to the drinking concerns... also, how do you stop yourself from falling for a lackluster guy after a string of bad dates?How did you know that I've only been dating nerds and bros?! 😂You're good.. I can definitely see that you've gotten this down to a science. I like this study of human nature approach. It was kind of crazy to see so many similarities amongst these guys. I'm going to save all of these ground rules for later. Thank you so much ♥️ I've never had a very good grasp of boundaries, so it helps to hear about the expectations and boundaries that FDS experts, like yourself, set. You're right. The key will … | /r/askFDS | 21/04/21 05:43 PM |
| 2 | Back to the drinking concerns... also, how do you stop yourself from falling for a lackluster guy after a string of bad dates?Yes ❤️ I cried reading this because I’m realizing that I don’t even know what I want from a relationship. I never had good models to aspire to as a kid and my codependency has lead me from one toxic relationship to the next. Comparing low value men to other low value men isn’t going to get me anywhere. What I need to do is level up. I need to find myself and set high standards from now on. No more accepting less than bare minimum. Thank you so much sis. | /r/askFDS | 21/04/21 05:16 PM |
| 3 | Back to the drinking concerns... also, how do you stop yourself from falling for a lackluster guy after a string of bad dates?Hi! Thank you! I read your response to my last post before all of these dates. You’ve been keeping me strong. I’m feeling a little drained after all of those dates but overall very empowered. I’m learning that setting boundaries is actually really easy and that I don’t owe anyone a single thing. I will definitely refine my pre date vetting strategy. That will save me a lot of stress. I’ll avoid OLD from now on. I’m seeing now that it’s just not worth it. You’re right. Once the world opens up a b… | /r/askFDS | 21/04/21 03:41 PM |
| 3 | Back to the drinking concerns... also, how do you stop yourself from falling for a lackluster guy after a string of bad dates?This is a great strategy. Thank you. These guys said that they drank “sometimes” on Hinge. I’ll start looking for “never” and see how it goes. | /r/askFDS | 21/04/21 03:15 PM |
| 5 | Back to the drinking concerns... also, how do you stop yourself from falling for a lackluster guy after a string of bad dates?You’ve made some really good points here. Thank you. I’ll tell you my technique and maybe you can critique it? So, in the past, I’ve dated bad guys who texted A LOT. (We are talking whole novels every day.) These exes of mine were also very introverted and secretly hated the world, and I think they liked hearing the sound of their own voices. And before the pandemic, I got rejected a few times, which really hurt, but I got over it. I’m fully prepared for ego bruises now and thought “Hey. What th… | /r/askFDS | 21/04/21 03:12 PM |
| 4 | Back to the drinking concerns... also, how do you stop yourself from falling for a lackluster guy after a string of bad dates?The first one was an old classmate from grad school. This one was dangerous because I’ve always had a crush on him. I was sad when he ordered his second drink and kept talking about his drunk stories. It was a side of him I hadn’t seen before. I was even more crushed when he didn’t pay and walk me to my car. I think he knew how much I liked him and therefore felt like he didn’t need to try that hard to win me over? Ugh But this is why I had already been on Hinge and setting up dates. I knew that… | /r/askFDS | 21/04/21 02:23 PM |
| 10 | Back to the drinking concerns... also, how do you stop yourself from falling for a lackluster guy after a string of bad dates?Thank you 🙏 | /r/askFDS | 21/04/21 05:47 AM |
| 2 | How to make female friendsI was reading an article about how our seating arrangements in school basically dictated who we became friends with. This is because of the “mere exposure effect” or the “familiarity principle”. People tend to like things that are familiar. That’s it! 🤷♀️ so make yourself a regular at your favorite restaurants, bookstores, cafes, shops, gyms, parks, etc. Eventually you’ll make friends with the other regulars. I’ve made the mistake of forcing friendships or feeling rejected when a new friend gho… | /r/askFDS | 20/04/21 10:14 PM |
| 8 | But only if he can't go in dryI got tested for everything under the sun after I left him. Thank you! It was most likely a stress response and maybe also some kind of allergic reaction to him 🤢 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/04/21 03:11 AM |
| 26 | But only if he can't go in dryYep.. I got a weird rash from him that lasted for months. He looked angry and annoyed when I asked him to get tested. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/04/21 06:37 PM |
| 22 | But only if he can't go in dryI’m so sorry. My abuser spit beforehand too. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/04/21 06:34 PM |
| 37 | I see a lot of ladies here feel shame about the way they used to be. But please understand that most of us have been some level of pick me in the past. Some still have remnants of pick me mentality yet to overcome. Please forgive yourself. Keep growing and becoming.Wow. Thank you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/04/21 03:22 PM |
| 66 | Friendly reminder: we don’t have an expiration dateThank you ❤️ I truly think these misconception stem from the fact that most teen movies are written by men going through quarter or mid life crises. These men are brainwashing all of us, teens and adults alike. We need more teen movies written by actual teens so we can stop portraying high school in such an overly romanticized, sexualized, and unrealistic way. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/04/21 02:33 PM |
| 29 | For those of you in a relationship with a HVM, how long were you dating before he said ‘I love you’?Thank you for posting this! My NVX preyed on me online and told me he loved me after one month of talking online. Huge red flag. I’ll spare everyone the gruesome details of his abuse but he was the scariest excuse for a “boyfriend” I’ve ever had. He was all loving words over text, but in person, he gave off serial killer vibes. I think, when we were talking online, I projected my own empathy and kindness onto his words. I idealized him and turned him into my dream person while he was actually my… | /r/askFDS | 15/04/21 05:00 PM |
| 24 | How to answer “what brings you to this app?”He’s baiting you! Fuckbois love to hear that a woman is looking for a long term relationship. It’s music to their ears. I’ve seen so many tik toks where the guy says “I’m not looking for anything serious” and the girl says “oh that’s good! I’m not either!” And the guy throws a tantrum because he wanted to hear that she wanted to be in a relationship with him. They love to be fawned after and adored 🤢 don’t give them any chances or any satisfaction. Insta block the guys who ask this question! | /r/askFDS | 09/04/21 03:11 AM |
| 25 | Is it normal for men to frequently compliment other women’s appearance?I can confirm that it's a form of abuse. The worst guy I've dated used to send me semi nude photos of his celebrity crushes on days when he knew I had something important going on (an exam, and interview, etc.). I cried and asked him "Why do you send me these pictures?" and he laughed and said "Because I know you hate it." He then tried to convince me that I was too sensitive and that it was a joke but that was always his cop out. | /r/askFDS | 08/04/21 09:24 PM |
| 6 | How do I stop being angry at the past LVM in my life?I don’t have any advice but I just wanted to say that I feel the exact same way. Saving this post to see the advice you get. Hang in there ❤️ | /r/askFDS | 08/04/21 01:29 PM |
| 3 | I feel like I can’t trust men anymore and I won’t trust one that says he loves meYes. Good. Actions speak louder than words | /r/askFDS | 07/04/21 07:18 PM |
| 3 | I feel like I can’t trust men anymore and I won’t trust one that says he loves meVery good point. | /r/askFDS | 07/04/21 07:17 PM |
| 8 | I could use some wisdom and advice about a confusing situation with new boyfriend.This is so tough. I’m sorry! 😢 It’s hard to let go of those rare love stories. I have two friends who had a really hard time letting go of toxic guys because they were high school sweethearts. I can’t imagine how complicated your feelings must be but I really do think it’s best you leave this guy. Porn sickness never goes away and it’s best to get out sooner than later. Alright so maybe it’s best you have the conversation in person? Do you think he is safe? Sometimes, a seemingly safe guy can fl… | /r/askFDS | 07/04/21 04:03 PM |
| 11 | I could use some wisdom and advice about a confusing situation with new boyfriend.Sure! How long have you been dating? (PS you are not a jerk for putting your needs first. In the past, when men have tried to tell me I’m a bad person for leaving them, I say “I’m just listening to my intuition and putting my needs first and you need to respect that.” They can’t argue with that because it’s the truth.) | /r/askFDS | 07/04/21 03:43 PM |
| 33 | I feel like I can’t trust men anymore and I won’t trust one that says he loves me“You can be the perfect package, but if you’re delivered to the wrong house, you’re useless.” You wound up at the wrong address (your ex fiancé). But there is someone out there who is dying to have someone exactly like you in their life. Don’t place your self worth in your ex. The truth is that he was never worthy of you and he knew it. That is probably why he told you that he never loved you. He wants you to feel as worthless as he feels. Forget him and be free. Be glad that you dodged this bul… | /r/askFDS | 07/04/21 03:18 PM |
| 16 | I could use some wisdom and advice about a confusing situation with new boyfriend.🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 Proud of you for catching these red flags. Time to walk away and never look back. Let us know if you need help figuring out what to say when you end things. | /r/askFDS | 07/04/21 02:48 PM |
| 3 | My friend triggered me and I don’t know how to calm down and not let it affect me.Yeah fuck Brad. Do you think he is interested in you? And I agree. It wasn't cool of your friend Rachel to mention this. What was her goal? To ruin your day? A friend of mine recently told me that a mutual friend of ours doesn't like me. I was actually more upset with my friend for telling me this info. Real friends stand up for their friends and protect their friends. So yeah. I wouldn't trust this Rachel girl either. Keep living your life and don't give these people any more of your tears or e… | /r/askFDS | 06/04/21 05:50 PM |
| 11 | My friend triggered me and I don’t know how to calm down and not let it affect me.I'm so sorry girl. Checking another girl's followers to see if she and some scrote broke up?! Now that's a whole new level of nosiness and cattiness. Wtf. It sounds like she is jealous of you to a point of obsession. I would slowly remove yourself from this group of friends. When you're ready, you should start owning the breakup. If one of these girls asks again, just say "I left him after he ghosted me for a week because I'm a bad bitch who doesn't have time for losers. What's it to you?" Becau… | /r/askFDS | 06/04/21 05:39 PM |
| 2 | Wisedom required - lot of green flags but...I've been there girl. I'm sorry. It's hard when we become invested in someone who isn't as invested as us. If I could go back in time, I would tell past self to leave the non-committal men I've dated, but I know it is not that easy. Sometimes, we have to get hurt enough to see the light. One day, you will see your worth and know that you deserve so much more than this. Remember that all because a man has a few green flags does not make him your soul mate. You can walk away and find a man who tre… | /r/askFDS | 06/04/21 04:28 PM |
| 9 | How long should you wait for a guy to ask you out on a proper date?Yeah I’m also not too big on the wine and painting date. It seems kind of self indulgent on his part? It feels like a weird flex because he’s a painter. Idk. I guess I’m kind of over the artist types myself. | /r/askFDS | 06/04/21 03:24 PM |
| 7 | Wisedom required - lot of green flags but...For me personally, I don’t like being the one to always plan and initiate dates, but if the pros outweigh the cons right now, then you can give it more time and continue to vet him for a few more months. Long distance is hard because you never really know what a person is like until you spend enough time with them. | /r/askFDS | 06/04/21 03:18 PM |
| 20 | How to shake a weird, somewhat disturbing guy off my tail?Gross. What a racist loser. Block him and do not engage with him ever again. Stalker types feed off of any kind of attention, bad attention included. | /r/askFDS | 05/04/21 01:54 PM |
| 73 | The fucking audacity to think porn can fix anything when you already can't get it up for your wife...Perfect analogy. Porn screws up the reward system in the brain the same way any other drug does. This is why I look for any traces of an addictive personality in men now. With one addiction comes a slew of others. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/04/21 03:08 PM |
| 1 | LVM and their petsYeah all but one of my exes were bad to animals. One of them acted like he loved dogs but then was mean and impatient with my senior dog. There is a test I’ve heard of (not fds approved so take it with a grain of salt) called the “two beers and a puppy test” Would you feel comfortable having two beers with this person and would you let them watch your puppy for a weekend? None of my exes passed this test because I would have never trusted any of them to watch my dogs for a weekend. | /r/askFDS | 02/04/21 12:54 PM |
| 12 | Do you find that LVM are really perverted and oversexual in your relationship?I’m so sorry girl. I’ve got my horror stories too and I’ve learned my lesson. If a man ever crosses a sexual boundary, stop him right away. Better yet, leave him. He is testing you to see how far he can push you and it will only get worse and worse. | /r/askFDS | 31/03/21 03:18 AM |
| 8 | Relationship with friendsI’m sorry you’re going through this. I’m going through the same thing with a couple of flaky friends of mine. I think that, since I have a limited number of friends, I’m more willing to put up with low value behavior, and this isn’t good. The same thing used to happen to me with LVM and I think it boils down to the same scarcity mindset. When someone gives me attention, I feel the need to lock them down because “what if no one else comes along?!” But this is all in our heads. There are better fr… | /r/askFDS | 30/03/21 03:17 PM |
| 102 | ‘Studies’ showing dad bods are more attractive to womenYes! Men don’t psychically become dads. The term “dad bod” makes no sense. And same. If I had to describe the ideal body for the future father of my children, it would be sturdy and strong. Like a guy who has come into his man strength. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/03/21 09:02 PM |
| 3 | He did everything right, but the double, triple texts and moving things fast turned me off. I feel bad about how I reacted.Hahaha the narcs I’ve dated in the past had something that they were really insecure about too! The male ego... so simple yet so scary at the same time 😳 | /r/askFDS | 29/03/21 08:53 PM |
| 3 | He did everything right, but the double, triple texts and moving things fast turned me off. I feel bad about how I reacted.Yeah you’ve bruised his ego. This is called “narcissistic injury.” You refuse to give him the ego fuel that he needs so you’re useless to him. | /r/askFDS | 29/03/21 07:47 PM |
| 20 | Men talk for weeks..no dateThis is a good point. I hate that men go into online dating with the intention of exploring and exhausting all options while women go into it with the intention of finding someone special. It’s a recipe for heartbreak. | /r/askFDS | 29/03/21 02:25 PM |
| 11 | He did everything right, but the double, triple texts and moving things fast turned me off. I feel bad about how I reacted.He sounds like a covert narcissist to me, and you were right to stand your ground. He’s feeling you out to see if you’re easy to control. I’d block him and move on. Keep talking to enough guys and you’ll find one who has your exact same communication style. | /r/askFDS | 28/03/21 10:50 PM |
| 6 | Ex texted meUgh did we date the same guy?! My blood is boiling for you girl. I’m so sorry. I used to apologize for “overreacting” to my ex’s abuse too. They say the best revenge is success and the opposite of love is indifference. Erase all traces of this dusty fleabag from your life and your spirit. He doesn’t deserve any more of your thoughts or time or energy. You are beautiful and free 🦋 the best part of dating an lvm is leaving him. Now you get to live an entire beautiful life without him and things do… | /r/askFDS | 28/03/21 10:43 PM |
| 18 | Ex texted meOne of my exes did this to me. Later, he admitted that he was dying to talk to me and then got the “ick” when I responded. Straight from the mouth of an emotionally unavailable scrote 🤡 in a way, it’s good that you responded and burst his weird delusional bubble. He’ll back off for a while now, but block him for peace of mind anyway. | /r/askFDS | 28/03/21 07:01 PM |
| 28 | Another day another woman suffering from the "I dont know what consent is also men are oppressed" diseaseThis. One time, a guy asked if we could make out, and I consented. Nothing heavy, just a few kisses. I noticed that he got aroused immediately but I didn't move forward because I sensed some hesitation in his kisses. I pulled away, smiled, held his hand and said "should we finish the movie?" He sighed a huge breath of relief and agreed to finish the movie. The next day, he said he didn't feel any romantic chemistry between us, and I thanked him for the fun dates and let him go. It was so obvious… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/03/21 10:30 PM |
| 27 | Another day another woman suffering from the "I dont know what consent is also men are oppressed" diseaseLord help her. She's preaching to all the wrong choirs here. Will someone please tell her about the 97% study? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/03/21 06:10 PM |
| 3 | Need to vent about male lack of courtesy/social intelligenceI second this. | /r/askFDS | 18/03/21 12:55 AM |
| 2 | Need to vent about male lack of courtesy/social intelligenceYou’re right. They are the same guys you meet in real life, but each app draws a different type of person. Fds discourages using bumble for example because that app makes women make the first move. Also I think fds discourages dating apps in general because even though the men are the same as the men you meet in real life, their perception of “online women” is worse than their views of “irl women”. I know it doesn’t make sense but I think it has to do with how many options they have on the apps. | /r/askFDS | 18/03/21 12:46 AM |
| 14 | Need to vent about male lack of courtesy/social intelligenceDisclaimer: I don't recommend OkCupid (I've met some real creeps on there. I'd say more than any other big dating app), but I like using the app to gain insight on men. For those of you who haven't used the app, OkCupid asks you hundreds of personal questions to help you find your most compatible match. On the app, there is one question that asks, "How do you feel about settling down and getting married right now?" Nearly all of the men I've swiped through have said "Absolutely not!" to this que… | /r/askFDS | 16/03/21 08:02 PM |
| 10 | I (19 F) am about to break up with my boyfriend (19M) because I cannot handle comparisonI think your gut is telling you that she is someone you need to worry about. Maybe your boyfriend is subconsciously (or consciously) using her to make you jealous/work harder for his love. This is a common manipulation tactic called triangulation. I would listen to your intuition on this one and leave. These feelings of jealousy don’t arise in emotionally supportive and safe relationships. | /r/askFDS | 13/03/21 09:50 PM |
| 17 | How to proceed if someone asks you out immediately (in the first message)?I recently learned that asking for a 10 min video chat is a really good way to test someone! If he goes silent, unmatch. If he gets defensive or tries to talk his way out of a video chat, unmatch. If he unmatches you, good riddance. If he kindly agrees and tells you he’d be happy to do a quick video chat, then that’s a good sign. The best part is that you can cancel the date if you get bad vibes from someone over a video chat. I think a good man will be willing to make a woman feel safe before a… | /r/askFDS | 12/03/21 09:13 PM |
| 5 | Seemingly HVM (at 32 years old) dated ex-student (at 23 years old). Is this a red flag?Ew.. Run girl! I think, deep down, you know this is messed up. In the past, whenever I’ve had to ask for relationship advice online, my gut was telling me something was wrong. Don’t let him gaslight you into thinking this was normal. | /r/askFDS | 10/03/21 03:30 PM |
| 6 | New relationship and my partners masturbation seems excessive.He is probably lying about not watching porn. A lot of guys I’ve dated lied about this. They just tell you what you want to hear. I would keep vetting him for a few more months sis. | /r/askFDS | 10/03/21 03:26 PM |
| 5 | Hurt by a new guy after my long-term relationshipYeah he sounds like bad news!! The same thing happened to me with a few guys last year. On our first dates they were talking about meeting my family and telling all of their friends about me and telling me that they deleted their dating apps because I was the one. Then, they all suddenly withdrew. I stalked them after that because I was so confused and traumatized by their abrupt change in behavior. I quickly found out they had all dumped me for other girls! 😬 so bizarre and awkward (for them an… | /r/askFDS | 10/03/21 03:17 PM |
| 12 | Hurt by a new guy after my long-term relationshipI’m so proud of you. Before fds, I dated a bad communicator for 6 months until I finally built up the courage to tell him that I needed more consistent communication. I’m so happy that you didn’t have to suffer the way I suffered for 6 months!! Those are 6 months I’ll never get back. Life’s too short to wait on someone like that. A man should be excited about you and show up for you no matter what. | /r/askFDS | 10/03/21 02:32 PM |
| 10 | Why do they use excuses and white lies so they won't disappoint you?In the case of nice guys and fuckbois, they lie to get into a woman’s pants. In the case of manipulators, they do it for control. As for the rest, I think it boils down to fear and a lack of empathy and respect. Basically, lying is a really immature way to get out of trouble. Most men probably learned to lie to their moms when they did something bad because they didn’t want their toys taken away from them. When I was a kid, I used to lie about being sick to get out of school, but over time, I st… | /r/askFDS | 05/03/21 12:42 PM |
| 2 | If they run at the first sign of you not accepting their low effort dates and low value behavior, then they’re scared little boys. Don’t ever worry about people who ghost you.Wow I just got the chills. You’re so right about them knowing that I’m trying to protect myself. A good man would give me the reassurance I’m obviously seeking as a woman in the dating world. If I were a man, I would go out of my way to make a woman feel safe about me. It’s just human decency. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/03/21 03:49 PM |
| 20 | If they run at the first sign of you not accepting their low effort dates and low value behavior, then they’re scared little boys. Don’t ever worry about people who ghost you.Yeah. All of them claim that it's too awkward and impersonal. So many red flags there. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/03/21 03:38 PM |
| 28 | If they run at the first sign of you not accepting their low effort dates and low value behavior, then they’re scared little boys. Don’t ever worry about people who ghost you.Yes. Also, has anyone else noticed that a lot of men get weird and defensive when you ask for a pre-date video call? I’ve had three men in the last week shut me down when I ask for a video chat and they’re so fucking rude about it. I block them immediately. What’s the deal?? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/03/21 02:31 PM |
| 62 | Had a first date with a guy and he’s been texting me obsessively. It has turned me off. Should I cancel our date this weekend?He’s trying overly hard to tie you down because he has low self esteem. He is probably seeking a partner for ego reasons and that’s always bad news. HVM have healthy egos and seek relationships for partnership and love, not to fill a hole in their lives. | /r/askFDS | 02/03/21 08:51 PM |
| 130 | Had a first date with a guy and he’s been texting me obsessively. It has turned me off. Should I cancel our date this weekend?Go with your gut and cancel the date. He has anxious attachment issues he needs to work through. | /r/askFDS | 02/03/21 08:47 PM |
| 28 | What could this mean?: Guy I'm seeing ejaculates easilyIt’s a pass for me too. You’ve said it perfectly - unsatisfying intimacy for sure. When he’s done in less than 2 minutes, it’s hard not to feel used and left out in the cold. | /r/askFDS | 24/02/21 08:36 PM |
| 13 | Likely LVM looking to not be LVMIt is great that you’ve been following FDS and that you acknowledge the horrors of the female dating experience. Thank you. Keep up with the self growth and self care practices, keep educating yourself, and work on unwriting your internalized misogyny. Listening to women and hearing our stories is the best way to learn about us. I would also suggest reading about attachment theory and healthy communication skills and making sure that you’ve reached a place of self love before trying to love anyo… | /r/askFDS | 22/02/21 04:12 AM |
| 13 | How do I date two men at the same time without feeling guilty?I think being honest about pursuing someone else is the best way to go. Tell him that you’ve been seeing someone you feel a stronger connection with and you want to see where things go. You could even embellish a bit and say something like “The other guy works in the same industry as me so we can relate on work things” or “the other guy and I have a lot of mutual friends so it just makes sense to date” or “the other guy and I both have family in ___ and we are both planning on moving out there s… | /r/askFDS | 22/02/21 03:48 AM |
| 9 | Guys who use too many emojis?My abusive ex used a lot of emojis. So did another toxic guy I dated. Both of them were addicted to social media and external validation. I’m sure there are good guys out there who use a lot of emojis but it’s a big turn off for me now. | /r/askFDS | 22/02/21 03:30 AM |
| 1 | Incompatibility or LVM withdrawal?Something is telling you that this guy isn’t right for you. Listen to your gut and walk away. You got this ❤️ | /r/askFDS | 19/02/21 05:40 PM |
| 8 | Things your rapist can use against you in courtI'm so sorry. My case is similar. I stayed in a relationship with my abusive ex for 7 months after he raped me. I sent him so many love letters and gifts and loving texts in those 7 months. No one would believe me. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/02/21 01:56 AM |
| 61 | Where to seek a partner?I'm so torn between OLD and trying to meet guys in real life. On one hand, OLD is filled with creeps, but on the other hand, it's slightly easier to detect the creeps online than in real life? A lot of times, a guy will wave his red flags loud and proud in his profile. These flags might take longer to spot if you meet a guy at store or coffee shop or gym. Also, some men who are fearless about approaching women in public are scary. | /r/askFDS | 17/02/21 09:50 PM |
| 22 | Let's talk about 'well meaning' friends and family who try to set you up with some scrote who is far beneath your worth. How do you deal? And what is wrong with your fam/friends to do this to you?!Ugh I feel this. The worst is when a friend tries to set you up with someone in their family. How do you say no without hurting everyone's feelings? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/02/21 03:32 AM |
| 22 | I feel too valuable to lower myself to online dating apps againThis is basically the only experience I've had with online dating unfortunately | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/02/21 03:23 AM |
| 8 | Did my attachment style change?Are you me?! The same switch happened to me after some toxic relationships too! I've always had avoidant attachment but I switch to more of an anxiously attached person when I'm being driven by my ego. If that makes sense? With my exes who destroyed my ego by cheating on me, for example, I started doing all of these crazy, clingy, possessive stalky things for the first and only time in my life. It was insane. I think I was in hupervigilant mode waiting for them to cheat again. I think I thought … | /r/askFDS | 14/02/21 11:15 PM |
| 23 | Has anyone tried speed dating?I haven't! Just commenting to stay posted on what others have to say. If you end up trying it out, you should post an update to fds! I'm so curious about speed dating. I feel like it would put me in the abundance mindset I need to be in when I'm dating. I have a bad habit of romanticizing people after one on one dates because the scarcity mindset sets in. It's also hard for me to detect red flags on the spot sometimes, but I feel like being able to compare men back to back would help me see thin… | /r/askFDS | 12/02/21 07:02 PM |
| 20 | A man's level of curiosity about you says it all.I'm saving this post. Thank you for sharing. You've made a great point about the amount of time it takes for a man to ask you out on a date. When I first tried OLD, I was told by a few people to avoid the guys who message/text a lot before a date and to go for the guys that get straight to the point. Man, were they wrong. The guys who were asking me out in the first few messages were all major creeps. Conversely, the men who kept messaging me and took forever to ask me out were also creeps. I've… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/02/21 11:11 PM |
| 29 | A man's level of curiosity about you says it all.So true. One of the guys I met on OLD came right out and told me that he prefers online dating because women on apps are easier to ghost... wtf??? I mean, I'm guilty of ghosting men on dating apps, but I don't prefer it that way, and I don't like doing it. The way he phrased it made it seem like he legitimately thinks lesser of women who are on apps. It was so creepy. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/02/21 09:54 PM |
| 8 | A man's level of curiosity about you says it all.Yes. 100% | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/02/21 09:47 PM |
| 40 | A man's level of curiosity about you says it all.I have the chills. I never noticed the narration drowning out Summer's voice before. Wtf?! Thank you for this analysis. I need to rewatch the movie with your points in mind! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/02/21 09:46 PM |
| 21 | A man's level of curiosity about you says it all.This is genius omg. I'm definitely using this. Thank you! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/02/21 09:42 PM |
| 31 | A man's level of curiosity about you says it all.Haha yes! Now that I'm aware of this, I can literally see when that glimmer of interest in a man's eye turns to fear and resentment. I'll tell them about an achievement I'm proud of, they'll excuse themselves to use the bathroom, come back looking all sweaty and distraught... the next day I get the "I'm not sure if this is the connection I'm looking for right now" text 🤣 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/02/21 06:59 PM |
| 27 | A man's level of curiosity about you says it all.Good riddance 👏 ugh I'm sorry he dismissed you when you were talking about starting an online course. That's a huge deal. He should have been happy for you, asked you more about it, and given you encouragement and support. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/02/21 06:44 PM |
| 1 | Closing downI feel that same way. I've been told that this happens when you are more interested in the idea of a person than the actual person. Does that sound right to you? Also, was your last relationship really painful? My last relationship was so draining that I start to feel drained just thinking about doing that all over again. Sometimes I don't think I could put myself through another relationship. | /r/askFDS | 11/02/21 02:19 PM |
| 1 | Need strength to get rid of a LVMI just saw that you've dated someone else with borderline personality disorder. Please read about "codependency" today. Once you start to understand why you are attracted to broken men, you can start to change your patterns. Best of luck!! | /r/askFDS | 11/02/21 01:39 PM |
| 42 | Will I ever been in a position to date again?I can already tell that you're a high value woman. You're sensitive, introspective, self aware, you've got friends, hobbies, a stable job, you're attractive and practice ballet. You sound amazing! I know it's tempting to jump into a new relationship straight after a long term relationship, but I think you should take this time to fall in love with yourself. This will heal some of your trauma and it will definitely help with your anxious attachment. I was watching a video of advice from people in… | /r/askFDS | 11/02/21 01:31 PM |
| 9 | I’ve been with my boyfriend for six years. His parents still don’t know where I’m from.This sounds like the perfect time to leave him, reconnect with yourself and your roots, and grow. This relationship is not enriching your soul. You need to get out there and find yourself again! And you can tell him that, when you have the talk. It doesn't matter how long you've been with someone. You can leave whenever you want. | /r/askFDS | 11/02/21 01:23 PM |
| 38 | Literally every guy I meet that I’m nice too thinks this. It’s why they hate women who are snarky. Unkind women are the worst thing on the planet according to them.Gross. So true. Last year, a male co worker of mine (probably around 30 years older than me) had to take time off of work when his father died. I emailed him offering my condolences and told him I could cover his shift. In his next email, he thanked me and asked me out for drinks... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/02/21 08:22 PM |
| 4 | We've been shaming women for being 'vanilla' for years and it needs to stop❤ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/02/21 06:20 PM |
| 27 | We've been shaming women for being 'vanilla' for years and it needs to stopWow you just described my ex's psyche exactly. He was secretly in love with his best female friend who was a cam girl who did bdsm things. He IDOLIZED her and looked at her nudes all the time. (I know all of this because I was gaslit to the point of insanity and needed to hunt for proof myself). The only women in hollywood he respected were women like Lana del Rey who were "sexually liberated" and romanticized abuse. The thing you said about men not wanting the feminine side of women is so true … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/02/21 05:30 PM |
| 35 | We've been shaming women for being 'vanilla' for years and it needs to stopHaha thank you!! I'm working on nurturing that past version of myself (before the abuse took its toll) and I've been embracing my "vanillaness"! What really gets me now, looking back, was that we were sitting on a bench in a secluded park filled with flowers at the time... A good boyfriend would have seen that as an opportunity to do something romantic for me 🤭😬😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/02/21 04:59 PM |
| 78 | We've been shaming women for being 'vanilla' for years and it needs to stopThank you for sharing this! 😢 this just unlocked a memory for me. My abusive ex asked me what my craziest sexual fantasy was while we were out enjoying a really beautiful day together. The question came out of nowhere and made me feel really uncomfortable. I didn't want to answer. I didn't even have sexual fantasies, just romantic ones. He kept sneering and saying "what you're embarassed? I bet it's so VANILLA..." I started to get nervous and felt pressured to come up with something. Little 21 y… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/02/21 04:26 PM |
| 15 | Pleasuring themselves in front of youEw not normal. I would be really disturbed if a guy started doing that in front of me. If it felt violating to watch, it was. Don't let anyone tell you that your feelings about this are wrong. Run and don't look back. | /r/askFDS | 04/02/21 03:35 PM |
| 4 | Overly affectionate guy, just manipulating me?Oh god. So creepy. I'm sorry you have to put up with this girl. He is trying to win you over through friendship. He's the type that won't take "no" for an answer. I agree - just block the creep. He doesn't deserve any of your time. You don't owe him anything. | /r/askFDS | 03/02/21 02:53 AM |
| 6 | Am i broken, or do i just date the wrong men?This reminds me of a quote I saw somewhere that said "You do not attract broken people because you are broken yourself. You just let broken people stick around longer than most people do." | /r/askFDS | 02/02/21 10:36 PM |
| 14 | Overly affectionate guy, just manipulating me?I agree with everyone else who has said that this is lovebombing. I've dated a few covert narcissists and this is exactly how they act. It feels very unnatural, rushed, and violating because it is. Him telling you to grow up and become more emotionally expressive and kiss-assy is a manipulation tactic called gaslighting. He is trying to make you feel broken so he can gain control over you. He is trying to get what he wants out of you. Have you ended things with him yet? If you haven't, I strongl… | /r/askFDS | 02/02/21 10:31 PM |
| 3 | "Dating should be a stress-free experience"?Look into attachment styles and codependency. Dating is always very stress inducing for people (like me, and possibly you?!) who struggle with anxious attachment and codependency. It's hard for me to not bring my perfectionist tendencies into my love life. I need everything to be perfect all the time, and I need to be in constant control of people's perceptions of me. It's bad, and I'm working on it before I ever try dating again, but awareness is key! On my last couple of dates, I let go of my … | /r/askFDS | 01/02/21 03:13 AM |
| 17 | How do you not feel broken after a break up?Hi babe. You fell in love with potential. It's ok to feel hurt when you realize that the person who has been stringing you along for 11 YEARS turns out to be a COMPLETE AND TOTAL PIECE OF SHIT. God. I hate this mf for hurting you and making you question your worth like this. Try to view this as a message from the universe to fall in love with yourself and rediscover your worth. Your journey starts now. Get back out there, slay some scrotes, level up, and become the unstoppable goddess you were m… | /r/askFDS | 30/01/21 04:25 PM |
| 18 | How do I get over 'love' and obsession over a guyI'm sorry girl. I've been there. I think holding onto a toxic ex is a defense mechanism. You are pining away for someone you know you could never have because deep down you feel like you don't deserve love. You've convinced yourself that he was the best partner you'll ever find because deep down you feel like you don't deserve better. You feel like you deserved that pain. NONE of this is true. Learn to redirect that love and energy back into yourself so that you'll be ready to let new, healthy l… | /r/askFDS | 29/01/21 04:43 PM |
| 14 | Is it ever okay to take back a man who broke up with you?I agree that it is her scarcity mindset setting in. It is very common to feel like you could never do better than a long term ex you grew very comfortable and familiar with. But this feeling doesn't last forever and once you start dating again, it pretty much disappears for good. I also believe that couples therapy can be a really good and healthy preventative practice (going to therapy at a happy, early stage in the relationship to make sure things STAY healthy) but that couples therapy in an a… | /r/askFDS | 29/01/21 04:36 PM |
| 9 | Should I tell him how wrong he was to assault me?I wish I could give you a hug. It is so hard being stuck in a trauma bond and I know how painful it is to look back at all of the abuse you put up with. But you are free now and that's all that matters. My abusive relationship was long distance too. I think these predators seek out victims online because it is easier to find and hook victims that way. If I were you, I would write the message and wait another month before sending it. This way, you will know for sure that sending one last message … | /r/askFDS | 28/01/21 07:10 PM |
| 10 | Should I tell him how wrong he was to assault me?I'm so sorry. I stayed in a relationship with someone who raped me the first time we had sex too. The experience never sat well with me (I didn't fully realize it was rape until much later) and I spent our whole relationship having breakdowns and anxiety attacks and then apologizing to HIM for being crazy... these are all signs of being gaslit and being caught in a trauma bond. Your mind wants to bond with the person who violated you, but your gut is telling you to run. This causes all kinds of … | /r/askFDS | 28/01/21 05:59 PM |
| 9 | So when a person states a boundary that makes them uncomfortable, suddenly they’re controlling and insecure. Porn is cancer.That hurts even more. Ugh. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/01/21 03:03 PM |
| 10 | Need adviceI'm sorry. It's so tough being in a relationship with a brick wall. You deserve a boyfriend who is emotionally available and mature. | /r/askFDS | 28/01/21 03:01 PM |
| 35 | Need adviceBoyfriends who hide things from their girlfriends turn into husbands who resent their wives. Leave him now before this dynamic gets worse girl. You deserve better. | /r/askFDS | 28/01/21 02:47 PM |
| 20 | So when a person states a boundary that makes them uncomfortable, suddenly they’re controlling and insecure. Porn is cancer.Seriously. Phrases like these are just stock ingredients in these gaslighters' word salads. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/01/21 02:41 PM |
| 39 | So when a person states a boundary that makes them uncomfortable, suddenly they’re controlling and insecure. Porn is cancer.The comments in this thread were making me cry. It's hard to see thousands of grown men gaslighting a young girl who is trying her best to set a healthy boundary. I was looking for ONE guy to come in and say something like "This isn't an unpopular opinion, nor is it an unreasonable boundary to set. Stay true to yourself and put your needs first." | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/01/21 02:38 PM |
| 1 | Against my intuition and at the advice of the community, I tried Bumble BFF to make friends. My results.I had a bad experience with bumble bff. It felt like the twilight zone. I met a really possessive and unstable girl on there and got stood up by another. The best friends I've made in my 20s are the women I have met through exes. An ex would introduce me to a friend and his girlfriend and the girlfriend and I would click. Still friends with many of those girls today. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/01/21 11:14 PM |
| 3 | What's with the spreading of complete lies about fds?❤ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/01/21 09:33 PM |
| 154 | What's with the spreading of complete lies about fds?I came here to say the same thing. It's not the money, it's the principle. If a man is willing to pay for a date, it's an indication of many other things. When a man pays for a date without hesitation, without any ulterior motives, without any resentment, without transactional intent, it shows that he's a good man. It shows that he respects women and the time that they put into getting ready for a date because society has told women that they need to do all of these expensive things to look pret… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/01/21 03:29 PM |
| 27 | OLD Safety: photos you useDating app guys found my private Instagram. But I'm not sure if it was because of my profile picture. I think it was more likely because my name is spelled in a unique way :/ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/01/21 10:34 PM |
| 54 | OLD Safety: photos you useThis happened to me too!! A few guys added me on instagram after i unmatched with them and one of them sent me a long angry message. "Why did we unmatch?! I thought we had a connection!!! Guess I was wrong! Think you're too good for me huh? Well you're a boring conversationalist and I was just about to unmatch you anyway. Looks like I dodged a bullet!!! Thanks!!!" | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/01/21 10:32 PM |
| 14 | I am devastated that I found out my LVM ex slept with a girl from dating app while he has been trying to get back together. I am carrying his baby.I'm so sorry. My ex who cheated on me keeps cheating on his new girlfriends. I know it's hard not to taking cheating personally but it has NOTHING to do with you or your worth. We do not attract broken people, sometimes we just let them stick around for way too long. I wish cheaters would do us all a favor and stop seeking out long term relationships. | /r/askFDS | 25/01/21 10:21 PM |
| 49 | I am devastated that I found out my LVM ex slept with a girl from dating app while he has been trying to get back together. I am carrying his baby.I'm so sorry girl. My blood is boiling thinking about this scrote and what he's done to you. Keep writing to FDS. We're here for you. | /r/askFDS | 25/01/21 04:32 PM |
| 6 | Should I move on or give him a little longer to take the lead?If he's already dragging his feet, he's going to be dragging his feet the whole relationship. Give him a little more time, but don't get too invested, and keep talking to other guys! Keep your options WIDE OPEN until a worthy guy asks you for commitment. | /r/askFDS | 24/01/21 01:11 PM |
| 10 | New take on Avril Lavigne's Sk8er Boi by Ashnikko, "L8r Boi". A little crude for some, but the message is on point.Damn 🔥 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/01/21 10:23 PM |
| 17 | Why do we seem to take rejection more personally than men?I agree with this completely! I think anger is easier to act out on and exhaust than shame. Anger is a core emotion and shame is an injury to the ego. Ego injuries are much harder to heal from unfortunately :( | /r/askFDS | 21/01/21 01:05 PM |
| 68 | Possible Red Flags? RantHe is gaslighting you into feeling crazy. Your feelings about this are valid and justified. Leave and don't look back girl | /r/askFDS | 14/01/21 06:44 PM |
| 7 | boy BYEWhy do they do this?!?!?! 😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/01/21 06:22 PM |
| 11 | boy BYETHIS WAS EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED TO ME. I stood there and had like an out of body experience before leaving and crying for an entire year about it. At least I can laugh about it now hahah | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/01/21 04:31 PM |
| 16 | boy BYEOMG hahahahhaha | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/01/21 06:21 AM |
| 32 | boy BYE😂😂😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/01/21 06:21 AM |
| 13 | boy BYEHahahhahaahha I'm dying! Pretty much! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/01/21 06:20 AM |
| 507 | boy BYEI was so repulsed when my ex told me what he did. He told me to let myself in, and when I walked up to his room, he was curled up in a ball on the floor, crying, listening to sad meditation music......... 💀🤢 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/01/21 12:09 AM |
| 33 | How to deal with lonelinessHi sis! Don't be too hard on yourself. To me, it sounds like you've been doing a lot of growing, and it's amazing that you can see through this LVM's future faking (making promises he doesn't keep to string you along). If you are fine with this LVM fulfilling your physical needs during this pandemic and are emotionally prepared for him to disappoint you, cheat on you, leave you, etc. then I say it's ok to keep the physical thing going FOR A VERY SHORT WHILE. I would also suggest talking to him t… | /r/askFDS | 13/01/21 06:44 PM |
| 2 | What kind of a woman attracts a HVM?Ooh I love this question. I think one of the biggest and clearest signs that you've found a high value person (man or woman) is when you've found someone who is content and confident when they are in a relationship AND content and confident when they're single. So content and confident people all around I guess haha | /r/askFDS | 13/01/21 04:37 PM |
| 2 | I think my boyfriend of 6 years is an LVM please help me. Everyone on relationship_advice said he’s in the right, and I’m in the wrongI'm so sorry love. I'm crying reading about your abuse. I hope you find the strength to leave him. | /r/askFDS | 13/01/21 04:33 PM |
| 2 | Is it possible to change the first impression you've given someone?I'm so sorry about your childhood trauma. Many people with childhood trauma (myself included) struggle with feeling heard and understood because we never received this kind of attention as children. In my experience, the men who have pulled away from me always do so because there is another woman in the picture. (I always find this out through some digging online, even if they don't come right out and tell me there is someone else). I know the thought of a man choosing another woman stings the e… | /r/askFDS | 13/01/21 04:09 PM |
| 2 | Is it possible to change the first impression you've given someone?You didn't do anything wrong!! And it's completely understandable that you got attached. You were most likely missing emotional intimacy in your relationship and it felt good and exciting to find it with someone. I agree with what the other ladies are saying though. It can be dangerous to let a man in before vetting him for 6 months to a year. I got too vulnerable too quickly with a guy I met online in my early 20s and he turned out to be a predator. The "rejection" you are feeling right now is … | /r/askFDS | 13/01/21 02:50 PM |
| 26 | Is it possible to change the first impression you've given someone?Hi sis! I'm sorry you're in a tough place right now. I don't know you or this guy or your situation, but I can speak from my own experience and the experiences of my friends. Unfortunately, men are the gatekeepers of relationships and they know EXACTLY how they feel about a woman the instant they meet her/start talking to her. There is nothing you can say or do to change his perception of you because it has very little to do with you. In the eyes of men, we are either women they will ghost/ignor… | /r/askFDS | 12/01/21 10:42 PM |
| 5 | Never let a men guilt you for ghosting..Ghosting should be the most acceptable form of breaking up or not continuing a date (unless the guy was high value, in which case explaining is an okay thing to do)What a nightmare. I'm so sorry. Yeah I've been looking at new places to live. I love my house and I really don't want to move but I care about my safety more. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/01/21 08:38 PM |
| 91 | Saw this in r/niceguys of all places. "Your hurt feelings do not override my right to say no."Women internalize the pain of rejection and treat themselves like punching bags while men externalize the pain of rejection and use women as punching bags. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/01/21 08:03 PM |
| 9 | Never let a men guilt you for ghosting..Ghosting should be the most acceptable form of breaking up or not continuing a date (unless the guy was high value, in which case explaining is an okay thing to do)Yes girl!! I did the exact same thing with a narc I dated last year! He was saying the cruelest things to me over the phone one night after I broke up with him and I hung up on him mid sentence and blocked him on everything. I was hoping we could end things on respectful and mature terms but I think that's impossible with narcissists. What he said to me that night could never be unsaid. I still cry thinking about that disturbung phone call. He's been harassing me for months now - calling every d… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/01/21 07:43 PM |
| 9 | Leaving toxic relationships - Approved commenter https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ktdcm5/leaving_toxic_relationships/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=shareI've read that planning for the future is an act of self love (for your future self). So whenever I'm sad in a relationship, I picture myself 5 years from now, and ask "would I want my future self to still be this sad? Or would I want her to be completely removed from this man and living her best life?" So I guess I would say to leave for your future self. You could even write her a letter and say "Hi future self, leaving this guy is going to make me sad for a while but I'm doing this for you be… | /r/askFDS | 09/01/21 12:27 PM |
| 21 | I made a post in one of my facebooks groups asking for advice, and my boyfriend saw it and blew up and said that he's done. I don't know what to do.Something that helped me see how horrible my ex was was to write our story from 3rd person perspective: She loved him more than life itself and he cheated on her. She lost all trust in him and herself. Her gut was telling her to leave but she didn't love herself enough to listen. Every day was a struggle for her. She couldn't talk to him about it because she knew it would blow up into a fight and he would storm out and leave making her feel more lonely and broken. And she couldn't talk to her fr… | /r/askFDS | 08/01/21 05:54 PM |
| 3 | My (29f) boyfriend (32m) is too comfortable, how do I reverse it?My friends and I have learned that men always match the level of effort that they put into the first date. If he made you split the bill, expect him to make you split every bill/pay for everything/get resentful after buying you something. If he brings you flowers, pays for your meal, texts you to make sure you got home safely, then you can expect a boyfriend who will take good care of you (unless he's a narcissist and the first date was just an act). And if he asks you over for movie and takeout… | /r/askFDS | 07/01/21 03:49 AM |
| 2 | Depressed ex won't stop calling. How to stop feeling scared and guilty?Thank you so much. This post has reassured me quite a bit. I promise to stay strong and hold my head up high! And to not put any blame on myself. | /r/askFDS | 06/01/21 04:21 AM |
| 5 | Depressed ex won't stop calling. How to stop feeling scared and guilty?"Not your zoo, not your monkeys" I love this!!! Thank you! I really needed this validation and reassurance. | /r/askFDS | 05/01/21 02:41 AM |
| 27 | What's the most misleading thing a man has said to you before he told you he wasn't interested?I know!!! This kind of gaslighting is enough to make someone lose all trust and love in themselves forever. I saw a quote recently that said something like "the hardest part of a woman's healing process is forgiving herself for putting up with the mistreatment and overlooking the red flags." I think we need to work on forgiving ourselves and commending ourselves for having the bravery to be vulnerable and open to love. You are amazing and I'm so proud of you for finding your way to FDS. Finding … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/01/21 06:35 PM |
| 50 | What's the most misleading thing a man has said to you before he told you he wasn't interested?Oh. My. Fucking. God. This is a horror story. I'm so sorry. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/01/21 06:32 PM |
| 49 | What's the most misleading thing a man has said to you before he told you he wasn't interested?This should be on the cover page of the handbook. Thank you for putting this into words. I'm so happy we all found our way to FDS. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/01/21 06:25 PM |
| 13 | What's the most misleading thing a man has said to you before he told you he wasn't interested?Oh god. I felt this one like a punch in the stomach. I'm so sorry. Losing him was a blessing in disguise sis. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/01/21 06:23 PM |
| 42 | What's the most misleading thing a man has said to you before he told you he wasn't interested?Girl, are we the same person?! I've told this to several guys who ended up cheating on me or leaving me for someone else. Me: I feel like I'm a cardboard cutout to you and that you'll leave me for someone else when you get the chance. Him: NO WHAT. I CANT BELIEVE YOU SEE ME THAT WAY. leaves me for someone else | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/01/21 06:20 PM |
| 60 | What's the most misleading thing a man has said to you before he told you he wasn't interested?You've described this so accurately!!! This is how I've felt in most of my "relationships." It's always the quiet, insecure guys who have superficial interests and goals. They only want a girlfriend to prove something to their family, friends, exes, etc. and they'll take whatever they can get. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/01/21 06:01 PM |
| 156 | What's the most misleading thing a man has said to you before he told you he wasn't interested?You're so right. I have a theory that men who are serial monogamists (constantly jumping from one ship to the next) are fuckboys with anxious attachment rather than avoidant attachment. The avoidant fuckboys are the ones who enjoy wasting our time. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/01/21 05:00 PM |
| 3 | How Do I Make Myself Indifferent to My Ex?I see what you're saying! I should have clarified. I meant something more along the lines of "I shouldn't share my feelings again or else he might leave like the last time." I couldn't admit when my feelings were hurt in my past relationship without the risk of gaslighting or abandonment. To avoid this, I would repress my emotions to regain "control" over the situation and avoid abandonment. You may be interested in reading about attachment theory. Attached by Levine and Heller is a great place … | /r/askFDS | 31/12/20 09:42 PM |
| 20 | How long should it take for him to ask you out again?He's keeping his options open. Move on! | /r/askFDS | 31/12/20 05:50 PM |
| 51 | Boyfriend of 5 years told me he cheated on meIt's not your fault sweet girl. I'm so sorry this happened to you and that you were tricked into living in a lie for so long. When my ex cheated on me, I asked him if he was thinking about me in the moment, and he said, "Not at all. You never crossed my mind for a second." And that was all that I needed to hear in order to leave him and move on. I don't want to be with someone who is SO SELFISH that they forget about my existence. Repeat after me! "I do not want what does not want me." Someone w… | /r/askFDS | 31/12/20 05:43 PM |
| 4 | How Do I Make Myself Indifferent to My Ex?Love and hugs!! Happy new year babe!! 💖🥳 | /r/askFDS | 31/12/20 02:56 PM |
| 6 | Found my ex on a dating app. AWKWARD!The initial stomach drop of finding out your ex is dating again feels so strange and confusing. In my experience, though, it is usually the last rope that needs to be cut in order to move on!! Once you find out your ex is dating again, it's like a new fire is lit inside of you to find true happiness and love -- within yourself and with someone else. You got this sis. Get out there and find some smokin hot HVMs! | /r/askFDS | 31/12/20 02:54 PM |
| 7 | How Do I Make Myself Indifferent to My Ex?Yes!!! Please continue to write about your healing! Emotional abuse is so isolating. When you're in it, you feel like you're truly alone. Reading others' stories of escape and healing helped me see that I deserved better. You are going to help so many people. Stay strong sis! Don't pay him any more mind! Letting go takes time and practice, but you will reach a point where you barely think about him anymore. I promise. | /r/askFDS | 31/12/20 02:49 PM |
| 16 | How Do I Make Myself Indifferent to My Ex?When you've been in an emotionally abusive relationship, you get used to controlling your abuser's emotions and reactions. "If I pretend like I'm happy today, then he won't get upset and leave me." "I know that if I mention that, he'll get upset and threaten to leave me. I better stay quiet." For me, having that control became addictive and second nature. I subconsciously began to believe that I could find ways to make my abuser love me. To make him stay. Let go of your need to control his feeli… | /r/askFDS | 31/12/20 02:39 PM |
| 1 | How to reign back in my availability with this guy I'm datingYou're being smart!!! Keep it natural and organic! I'm glad you enjoy talking to him. | /r/askFDS | 28/12/20 09:37 PM |
| 14 | How to reign back in my availability with this guy I'm datingI would say to talk to him when you genuinely want to talk to him. No more, no less. If you don't want to FaceTime, don't FaceTime! You don't owe him anything. In my experience, when I feel like it's a drag to talk to someone, there are some underlying issues/lack of attraction there. Stay true to yourself and your needs. Time will tell if this guy is worth it. | /r/askFDS | 28/12/20 01:35 AM |
| 33 | I think I miss being singleYES. THIS 💯 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/12/20 12:21 AM |
| 3 | Should I go on dates with guys I’m not attracted to?Don't go!!! Mutual attraction is very rare (even for supermodels who only date supermodels), but it's worth the wait. Don't ever settle. | /r/askFDS | 24/12/20 04:14 AM |
| 22 | Need support: just broke up with a guy full of green flags bc we have different visions for the futureI'm so sorry you're going through this. hugs I just went through something similar and someone on FDS told me that some red flags for you might be green flags for others and some green flags for you might be green flags for others. In the end, if it's a red flag for YOU that's all that matters. I get pangs of regret thinking about him sometimes, but I'm actually catching red flags that I didn't catch before when I had my rose tinted glasses on! And now I'm really happy that I didn't settle. Thin… | /r/askFDS | 24/12/20 04:10 AM |
| 84 | Online dating in a nutshell; heads men win, tails women loseHahahah that should be my new response. I just ghost them now. I used to say "I'm looking for a relationship." But that just made them thirstier!!! They'd say "Oh that's cool. Wanna come over tonight? 😘" Or "Aww you're so cute. You're like my dream girl. Wanna come over tonight?" SO CREEPY | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/12/20 04:56 PM |
| 237 | Online dating in a nutshell; heads men win, tails women loseEvery fuckboy on tinder: "Sooo why are you on here?" | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/12/20 02:20 PM |
| 15 | where to go on first date if I have anxiety going to a restaurant on a first date?I get the head shaking thing too! I'm pretty sure it's adrenaline. The more first dates you go on, the less scary they get. It helps to remember that your date is nervous too. | /r/askFDS | 21/12/20 04:35 AM |
| 6 | I feel so guilty for falling out of love with a wonderful man.Sorry!! I read this first thing in the morning and my brain wasn't taking everything in! Well, I suppose my advice still applies if and when you do leave! :( If I were you, I would sit down with your boyfriend and tell him exactly how you're feeling. Do you feel like he is still meeting all of your emotional needs? You withdrawing could be a sign that he isn't giving you what you need. I've learned that a man can be an amazing person, but not the best boyfriend. Those are the men who are the har… | /r/askFDS | 19/12/20 07:08 PM |
| 9 | I feel so guilty for falling out of love with a wonderful man.Whenever I have felt regret after leaving someone, it is because a scarcity mindset setting in. Aka "I will never find someone else." or "I will never find someone better." None of these thoughts are true! They come from a feeling of low self worth. I'm proud of you for listening to your gut and walking away when things weren't serving you anymore. You learned all that you were supposed to learn from your ex. Now it's time to move on and build up your self esteem. Take this time to boost your se… | /r/askFDS | 19/12/20 05:25 PM |
| 3 | Trying to stay strong, but wavering a bitYes babe! You're doing so good. Hang in there. | /r/askFDS | 18/12/20 05:25 PM |
| 23 | What's considered normal and healthy communication in early dating?I have those exact same expectations girl! Keep doing what you're doing! | /r/askFDS | 18/12/20 12:41 AM |
| 7 | old classmate is creeping up out of the woodwork do I block or distance myself? I need help with this one.You need to express your boundaries clearly and firmly. You can say something like "Hey Ron, as much as I appreciate you reaching out, I can't take on any new friendships. I've got too much going on in my life and don't have the mental energy to reopen old connections. I've done a lot of growing and changing since high school. I'm a different person now and I'm ready to close that chapter in my life now. I wish you well. See you around." And block. I was in the EXACT same situation with someone … | /r/askFDS | 17/12/20 03:30 PM |
| 5 | How to not be intrusive about my partner’s romantic past?I think you may be feeling this way because he is not making you feel secure in the relationship. I don't know your guy, but I dated someone exactly like this. He had never been in a serious relationship before we met and I think deep down I wanted to change him. He kept in contact with all of his ex hookups, flings, etc. and he ended up cheating on me with two of the girls he told me I didn't need to worry about. These guys who are afraid of commitment have the grass is always greener syndrome.… | /r/askFDS | 17/12/20 03:18 PM |
| 34 | How to attract men I actually likeOnline dating can be hard, but it's a good way to let the kind of men you're interested in know that you're single and looking. It's also a really effective way of detecting how much confidence a man has, whether it's too much (narcissist) or not enough (the passive insecure man). The process of finding a guy with a healthy amount of confidence is easy. First, only match with the men who have bright smiles and kind eyes. Don't match with the men with uncomfortable, forced smiles, or the men with… | /r/askFDS | 17/12/20 12:19 PM |
| 8 | Trying to stay strong, but wavering a bitHe is not fighting for you so you shouldn't fight for him. | /r/askFDS | 16/12/20 11:20 PM |
| 4 | What are examples of doing more than the bare minimum?The flowers were very sweet but the brushing off your feelings thing isn't fair. I'm sorry if you are feeling emotionally neglected. In my experience, emotional intimacy is really really important. You have to feel emotionally safe and connected to your partner. | /r/askFDS | 15/12/20 07:06 PM |
| 15 | What are examples of doing more than the bare minimum?I'm struggling with the same thing. I think bare minimum is things you shouldn't have to ask for: respect, kindness, support, empathy, consistency, understanding, attention, quality time, etc. And I think finding an HVM means finding a guy who anticipates your needs without you having to ask/pull teeth to have those needs met. An example of this might look like a boyfriend who knows that you get really sad around a certain day of the year and will plan ahead to do something special for you on th… | /r/askFDS | 15/12/20 03:00 PM |
| 3 | LVM/Red Flag music (or genres)I've had really bad experiences with music snobs in general. The most abusive guy I've dated loved radiohead, the most psychologically disturbed guy I've dated loved a really specific kind of metal (forget the name of it), and the creepiest guy I've dated only listened to obscure new wave music from the 70s 80s and 90s. They all made fun of my "basic" music taste. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/12/20 03:59 AM |
| 23 | Why do Men lead you on by faking interests just to dump you after?This has happened to me a few times and with a little bit of digging I always found out that there was another girl in the picture. It hurts but at least you can rest knowing that it literally had nothing to do with you. Also, and I know this sounds petty, but when I snoop on them again later, the new relationship never works out for him either. I think losing these shallow guys is a blessing in disguise. They always have one foot out the door ready to jump ship with every girl they date. | /r/askFDS | 14/12/20 03:27 AM |
| 7 | A reminder to myself to never accept less than I deserve and to keep my boundaries solid. This was bought with the compensation from when my ex sexually assaulted me. Never again will I settle for a low value scrote.I love this post so much. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/12/20 04:07 PM |
| 29 | How does dating multiple people work?Yes it is fair to feel hurt and upset that he is kissing other women. Men are only as faithful as their options. High value men see their girlfriend/fiance/wife as the best and only "option" - they are able to actively and consistently choose love. LVM on the other hand will take any option they can get and will dump one option to pursue the next "shinier" option. LVM are stuck in a grass is always greener mindset. HVM know that the grass is always greener where you water it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/12/20 04:33 PM |
| 11 | How to leave my nice girl days behind?I'm the same way girl. I recently saw a quote about how people pleasing isn't a personality trait - it's a trauma response. There are four major types of trauma responses - fight, flight, freeze, fawn. Fawning is basically trying to charm your way out of danger "Hey dangerous lion! Don't eat me! I'm cute and I think you're amazing!" It's just as valid as the other three trauma responses, just less understood. Now, I'm trying not to people please and fawn so much. Instead of instantly saying yes … | /r/askFDS | 10/12/20 04:33 PM |
| 10 | "I meet all of my own needs. I fulfill myself."Omg I didn't even notice until you pointed it out! I think it's a filter that's blurring the lines and shadows on her hand and making her finger look foreshortened?! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/12/20 02:53 AM |
| 11 | Besides Jordan Peterson, what are the worst red-flag authors/books LVM/NVM read the most?Nothing wrong with him! I've just noticed that he attracts a really toxic male fan base. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/12/20 10:49 PM |
| 42 | Besides Jordan Peterson, what are the worst red-flag authors/books LVM/NVM read the most?Charles Bukowski and David Foster Wallace | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/12/20 04:17 PM |
| 5 | LVM love to say that women hit the wall by the age of thirty, but this is Katy Perry at 36.YES. Agreed. I've seen so many of my mom's friends blossom again after they divorce their deadbeat cheating husbands though!! Women are so beautiful and resilient! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/12/20 04:40 PM |
| 1 | Hint: the answer is usually “no” 💕This is crazy!!! My alcoholic ex also gave me yeast infections all the time and this is probably tmi but he tasted really bitter (if you know what I mean) and his body odor was horrible. Like really acrid. I know the alcohol had to have been doing something really bad to his body chemistry. Strangely enough, and maybe you can relate, his alcoholism made me pity him enough to stay with him longer than I should have. We were snowed in once, and he had the flu, and I didn't have any alcohol in my h… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/12/20 04:19 PM |
| 4 | Hint: the answer is usually “no” 💕Thank you so much. I will try all of these things ❤ I have enjoyed yoga very much in the past. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/12/20 05:44 AM |
| 7 | Hint: the answer is usually “no” 💕I'm so sorry that you still have pain 😢 I hate these men so much. My pain is basically constant and it always gets worse before my period which makes me think I actually do have interstitial cystitis. I tested positive for ureaplasma (caught it from the same alcoholic NVM). I took antibiotics for it and tested negative for the bacteria a few weeks later but maybe it came back. I should go and get tested again and ask my doctor about uribel. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I can't belie… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/12/20 04:43 AM |
| 17 | Hint: the answer is usually “no” 💕Ok girl the same thing happened to me when I was dating a covert alcoholic. He had OCD and was impeccably clean but I was constantly getting UTIs after sex with him. I unfortunately have lingering bladder pain years after the relationship ended. Did you ever learn why he was giving you so many utis? Do you think it's connected to alcoholism? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/12/20 04:19 AM |
| 8 | How to act when giving my ex back his cat?Ahhh barf!!! He sounds just like my ex! Glad you're free, girl. You got this. | /r/askFDS | 08/12/20 03:31 AM |
| 32 | Tips for newly single girlGo into dating with the goal of having fun and collecting funny stories to tell friends! It makes the bad dates feel less icky and the good dates feel less special (which is key because you don't want to fall for anyone before the 6 month mark). Prepare yourself for rejection. Rejection has NOTHING to do with you. If a man rejects you, it's usually because he's already had his eyes set on someone else and/or wants to keep his options open 🙄 in which case, bye bye. You don't need a shallow man li… | /r/askFDS | 07/12/20 10:24 PM |
| 33 | How to act when giving my ex back his cat?I'm sorry you're going through this sis. You sound like the most amazing person ever. I think you should have your mom drive you and help you carry everything into his house. Hold your head up high and be cordial. Keep it short and quick. And just know that it's ok to breakdown. My guess is that this will be a rollercoaster of emotion for you and it's ok to cry. Make sure to have some good food and a good movie waiting for you when you get home ❤ | /r/askFDS | 07/12/20 10:16 PM |
| 18 | Is not being able to cook low value?Not low value at all! FDS experts, feel free to correct me on this, but I feel like "low value" pertains mostly to bad character traits. Let's say, for example, your partner loves a certain dish. If you were low value, you would never try to make this dish for your partner, even if they told you how much they loved it. In fact, if you were low value, you would probably forget that your partner ever told you that they liked the dish in the first place. A high value person would remember that thei… | /r/askFDS | 07/12/20 10:10 PM |
| 20 | First real dateFirst, I'm sorry about the creep. Proud of you for kicking him out of your life! As for your upcoming dinner date, he really should pay for the entire meal. If he doesn't, then he's not boyfriend material. Plain and simple. If a man doesn't have the generosity to pay for your meal, he isn't going to be generous with anything in your relationship. Trust us fds ladies. We've learned this the hard way. And if he pays, but you can sense that he resents you for it, then run. He will be the type of gu… | /r/askFDS | 07/12/20 10:02 PM |
| 9 | Saw this on twitter - Hinge date puts woman's pictures through an analyzer online to "check if she is actually attractive," tells her her "forehead is too big," then tries to secure a hang out next weekHahaha I was thinking the same thing! Wtf. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/12/20 09:25 PM |
| 2 | Have you ever experience having disturbance in your monthly cycles with you were with an LVM/NVM?I'm so sorry for the heartbreak you've experienced. They say that you are the sum of the 5 people you spend the most time with, and it sounds like your first ex and his friends were assholes. And as for your HVM ex, I'm sorry that things didn't work out. Sometimes, we cross paths with people at the wrong place and time. Also, just something to consider, but maybe he wasn't as special as you thought he was. Sometimes the most special thing about a man is the love we give him. My advice would be t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/12/20 05:01 PM |
| 3 | Have you ever experience having disturbance in your monthly cycles with you were with an LVM/NVM?Yes!! Thank you for posting this! We all need to become more aware of what these LVM are doing to our health. My period stopped for 4 months when I was stuck in an abusive relationship. The stress of being with him made me lose so much sleep and weight. I was fainting and getting sick all the time too. On the flip side, the one HVM I've dated (things didn't work out because of some differences in lifestyle choices) made my period come like clockwork. It was like he was melting all of my stress a… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/12/20 04:37 PM |
| 331 | LVM love to say that women hit the wall by the age of thirty, but this is Katy Perry at 36.Women who are 30+ have reached such a heightened state of self love, beauty, sensuality, and enlightenment. They are fucking goddesses, and LVM hate that they can't have them. The people who hate your boundaries are the people who benefitted the most from you not having any boundaries. Telling women over thirty that they've "hit the wall" and become less desirable is the LVMs last attempt tactic to neg women 30+ into sleeping with them. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/12/20 04:28 PM |
| 3 | Never call them out for not caring, you already have your answerYes. Sarcasm is so demeaning. Most of the time, it's a problematic statement/insult masked as a joke. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/12/20 04:20 PM |
| 3 | A solid checklist ✅YESSS. And a partner should bring all three. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/12/20 04:12 PM |
| 24 | Maybe he’s trying to do her a favor by kicking himself out of her life so she can move on to better things...This makes me sick. When I love someone, I feel an invisible string attached to them 24/7. Like a compass in my heart that knows exactly where they are at all times. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/12/20 04:11 PM |
| 8 | Lol @ these men pretending to be women 😂 they really think we can’t tell 😭Looooool yessssss! I was going to say that these could be REALLY deluded pickmes. They're too far gone at this point. No saving them now. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/12/20 04:00 PM |
| 7 | I used to use the "it's not you, it's me" excuse to leave an LVM. Now I see that I was lying to myself.Yep. I have a theory that it happens when your mind has chosen to ignore your painful situation but your body won't let you forget. Your gut is highly attuned to danger so I think it's our intuition's way of telling us that something is wrong and we need to get out. It also happens when you're being gaslighted or emotionally neglected. You start to feel insane. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/12/20 02:02 PM |
| 4 | Need advice on how not to compare myself.I love what naturopath and daisy have already said and I'd like to share one mantra that helps me when I get stuck in a comparison mindset! Don't look at what others are doing, look at what they aren't doing. Look at your accomplishments and what you're grateful for and say "hey, maybe she has a boyfriend, but I bet she doesn't have ____." "Maybe she's doing this, but I bet she isn't doing this." Something that you have, that other 23 year old girls with boyfriends don't, is the chance to really… | /r/askFDS | 07/12/20 04:19 AM |
| 5 | I used to use the "it's not you, it's me" excuse to leave an LVM. Now I see that I was lying to myself.You said it perfectly!! That's their MO. Thank you so much. You deserve better too sis ❤ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/12/20 03:04 AM |
| 66 | How to curb the temptation to reach out to him. Help!First, block his number and block him on all social media. This will train your brain to stop waiting for a message from him. Next, go to r/exnocontact every time you get an urge to reach out! The posts there are therapeutic reminders that your ex wasn't special. The only thing special about him was the love you gave him. Finally, draw a heart on each day of the calendar that goes by during this no contact period. It will remind you that each day you go without reaching out to him is an act of s… | /r/askFDS | 06/12/20 04:03 PM |
| 3 | Gave Crush my Number and I regret itOf course!! | /r/askFDS | 05/12/20 10:31 PM |
| 5 | Gave Crush my Number and I regret itIn college, I had a friend who used to give every cute waiter her number. She would write it down on the receipt and then she would tell me to run, and we'd run out of the restaurant laughing. None of the waiters called her, but she ran into one of them later who admitted that he remembered her and thought it was really cute and sweet that she left her number. He said he was in a weird on and off again relationship with someone at the time and wasn't feeling up to dating anyone else. He asked my… | /r/askFDS | 05/12/20 10:23 PM |
| 8 | Opinions needed! New here :)I'm glad that he apologizes, but the freakouts are a red flag in my opinion. Actions speak louder than words! Also, you know him better than I ever could, but in my experience, it's bad news when the primary emotion you feel toward a man is pity. This could mean that he has been pulling on your heartstrings and emotionally manipulating you, even if he doesn't realize that he is doing this. Just something to be wary of. | /r/askFDS | 05/12/20 07:29 PM |
| 3 | Any thoughts? Please feel free.First, I'm so sorry that he never accepted your friend request. He sounds like a shallow dick tbh, and I'm glad you're not wasting any more of your precious time and energy on him or his shitty band!! Second, I've been there. I know how easy it is to obsess and look for answers. I recently learned that overthinking and trying to find reasons for the mistreatment you receive from others is a coping mechanism. What you're really doing is avoiding an unpleasant, difficult, or scary feeling. So, now… | /r/askFDS | 05/12/20 07:20 PM |
| 16 | FDS is the cure to what social scientists call "Optimism Bias", and you thinking you don't suffer from it is it actually functioning right now (I do it too)Whoa. You just helped me identify the root of so many of my past relationship pitfalls. Thank you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/12/20 06:51 PM |
| 72 | LVM seriously don't think we're people. 👁👄👁YES. After I left my abusive ex, I had a panic attack and asked my sister, "what if he goes on to live a happy life after this? Why does he get to walk away?" My sister looked at me and said "Imagine being him. Imagine being a rapist. Would you ever want to trade places with him? Would you ever want to live his shitty life? Would you ever want to experience the world through his fucked up existence?" And that thought brought me so much peace and clarity. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/12/20 03:26 PM |
| 15 | Opinions needed! New here :)An HVM would apologize for making you feel like an afterthought. He would also have the emotional intelligence to calmly tell you when he's feeling overwhelmed with father responsibilities and what his plans are for making this work with you. The reality is that most men date for sex. Make sure that you're not just his sex maid! | /r/askFDS | 05/12/20 01:49 PM |
| 7 | Should I Text Him?Same queen. You and I are conditioned to make people comfortable. Now it's time to think about our own comfort! I've learned that if a guy doesn't text right away after a first date to tell you he had a good time or, better yet, to make sure you got home safe, he's not boyfriend material. The guy who doesn't text is usually passive, afraid of rejection, unsure about you, commitment phobic, lazy, wants to be babied, self conscious, too worried about his own ego and feelings, thinks relationships … | /r/askFDS | 05/12/20 01:37 PM |
| 35 | Should I Text Him?Don't! If you do, you're setting the tone for a one sided relationship where you'll be doing all of the work. You'll be doing all of the planning, initiating, wooing, reassuring, giving, loving, supporting in the relationship. If you have to drag a man through a relationship, he's not worth the effort or the time. Date men who feel excited and lucky to have you in their lives. If a man is serious about being your boyfriend, he'll do what it takes to outshine your other prospects and take you off… | /r/askFDS | 04/12/20 10:49 PM |
| 12 | "Relationships require work, its a give and take"Other lvm buzzwords: cOmPrOmIsE and cOmMuNiCaTiOn. As in "I wouldn't have cheated on you if you had let me watch porn!!!" Or "I would have treated you better if you had asked!!!!" | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/12/20 06:23 PM |
| 88 | Dating is supposed to be funThank you for this amazing post!!! As a pickme, dumping and blocking LVM and NVM felt impossible. I felt indebted to them. I felt bound to them. I was scared to hurt them because I was scared they would hurt me. Now that I've found FDS, I've dumped and blocked so many men, I can't even count. The world didn't explode. It wasn't hard. Nothing bad happened. I barely remember their faces and I'm sure they barely remember mine. You are not responsible for anyone else's feelings but your own. And if … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/12/20 03:22 PM |
| 6 | Another message for the male lurkers here. You all specifically know what you did at a specific time. Maybe no one will know and no one will care, but remember that you will grow old and will always remember the things you did wrong to women.I would like to believe this is true but my rapist doesn't carry any remorse for what he did to me. He's a sociopath who was born without the capacity to feel any empathy or remorse. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/12/20 03:42 PM |
| 6 | Sex with a NarcissistI'm so sorry this happened to you. I know it is easy to blame yourself and regret the decisions that led up to this horrific event, but there is no one to blame but the attacker. You don't blame the victim of a car crash for being on the road, you blame the drunk driver for drinking and driving. Same thing with sexual assault. Be kind to yourself and forgive yourself. You didn't deserve this. I'm so glad that you've found fds. Now it's time to become the queen you were born to be ❤ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/12/20 03:35 PM |
| 5 | How the F do I start online dating as a 23 old Female virgin?Go into dating with the goal of having fun. Once you've gone on enough dates, it's a lot of fun to exchange dating stories with other women. Dating's a game. You are the prize. These guys are so lucky to match with you and even luckier if they get to meet you. Ditch the guys who make you feel uncomfortable. Ditch the guys who only want sex. Go on second dates with the guys who make you laugh and feel safe. Never do anything you don't want to do. You'll eventually find a sweet guy who is happy to… | /r/askFDS | 01/12/20 04:41 PM |
| 26 | Success storiesFinding FDS has been a success in itself for me. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/11/20 06:38 PM |
| 3 | Dating a gamer is never the move.Mega dusty 😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/11/20 11:38 PM |
| 18 | Dating a gamer is never the move.I never knew that men traded porn with each other 🤮why is this a thing?! "Here ya go bruh! I just masturbated to this porn! Now that you have that image of me masturbating in your head, you should totally go and masturbate to this same porn so I can picture you masturbating too!" | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/11/20 09:12 PM |
| 47 | Is it just me or there’s something off with this post? It gives me major pickme vibes. Like how can you feel this way about a guy you’ve known for two seconds??I was just going to say the same thing!!!! In the past, I have only felt "lovesick" while being lovebombed by abusive men. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/11/20 03:39 PM |
| 69 | Dating a gamer is never the move.Commenting to add that "bromance" culture is the worst. These guys treat their bros 10000x better than they treat their girlfriends. I wish they'd just date each other and leave us alone already. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/11/20 03:32 PM |
| 3 | May be FDS or may be that after I saw myself in a picture with my “hot” crush I was more attractive... either way, even hot men are meh now.YES. Now that I've seen the light, they feel like a separate species to me. Like an alien race you'd see in Star Wars. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/11/20 03:34 AM |
| 1 | The way he talks about fictional women will be the way he talks about youYes!! Thank you for making this post! In my experience, men who call themselves "writers" are also scary. The way they write women is disgusting. There is an entire subreddit about it (r/menwritingwomen). Written proof that men view women as objects. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/11/20 04:34 PM |
| 1 | NEVER put "feminist" in your dating profile. You'll just end up attracting misogynistic losers who watch violent rape porn and fantasize about "breaking" feminists.Thank you for making this post. I'm a recovering pick me and I still have so much to learn. I put "feminist" in my last dating profile, thinking it would attract the right kind of guy, but I was wrong. I got creepy guys saying "my dog (or child) needs a strong independent woman to look up to. Could that be you?" Men's idea of "feminism" hahaha | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/11/20 04:15 PM |
| 9 | Is it a red flag to not wish me a happy birthday?Not only should he have wished you a happy birthday, he should have gotten you a little gift! Like chocolates or flowers or something that he remembered you saying that you like. Hell, I got small gifts from coworkers at a new job once. I had only been working there for a month but it was enough time to make an impression on people. Also, they knew I'd be around for a while I'm sure and wanted to make a good impression on me. If this guy was serious about keeping you off the market, he would hav… | /r/askFDS | 19/11/20 01:22 PM |
| 3 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered November 9 2020Give yourself lots of time to heal sis. They say that you should give yourself half the amount of time you spent in a relationship to heal, but I would say that it takes years to fully heal from the trauma of dating an NVM/LVM. NVM and LVM train us to dissociate from our own intuitions (they gaslight us until we feel insane) and it takes a long time to return to our true and full selves after that. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/11/20 06:30 PM |
| 3 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered November 9 2020Thank you for validating my feelings about this. It means a lot. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/11/20 06:26 PM |
| 4 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered November 9 2020I think it's amazing that you're waiting and not giving into these guys. I've only had lackluster sex with loser men who coerced (even forced) me into sex my whole life (sounds like a sad horror movie, I know) and I can tell you that this kind of sex leaves you feeling used and empty. You're right to wait for the guy who is going to take the time to get to know you first. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/11/20 11:35 PM |
| 3 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered November 9 2020I just took a screenshot of this to save as a reminder for myself - thank you!! I recently decided to leave a man after finding out that he goes hunting every fall. My stomach lurched when he told me and I cried myself to sleep that night. I asked my friends and family if I should stay, even though the idea of hunting makes me sad, and they all told me to suck it up. The worst part was that they all asked me for reasons why I didn't like hunting. Shouldn't the fact that my stomach flipped and I … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/11/20 11:26 PM |
| 12 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered November 9 2020Thank you for your empathetic response. I've been torn to shreds in other subreddits for this decision, but I knew I would find understanding voices of reason here. I really like that you've called hunting my own personal red flag. I never thought about it this way, but I guess HVMs come in all shapes and sizes and it's important that we find the one that's exactly right for us. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/11/20 11:19 PM |
| 3 | Does anyone else feel left behind in life? I’m 27female and panic over my entire life. I feel like a massive failure and watching people get things I would love is damaging my mental healthI'm in the exact same boat sis. They always say that comparison is the thief of joy and it truly is. I saw another quote somewhere that said something like "whenever you find yourself comparing yourself to someone else, don't focus on their accomplishments. Focus on what they aren't accomplishing." This helped me a lot, and I hope it helps you a bit too. Also realizing that these timelines we set for ourselves are fake. We are all moving at our own unique paces and we are all exactly where we ar… | /r/askFDS | 15/11/20 08:45 PM |
| 5 | How did you get over resentment?I saw this tip on tik tok and it worked for me! You have to firgure out how to give yourself the "ick" feeling when you think about him. One easy way to do this is to think about how nauseating this person's pick up lines must be when he's trying to meet new women. Imagine him sending the grossest, most pathetic messages to 100s of women on tinder and never getting a reply. Also, I'd like to put an extra little spin on it. Play the curb your enthusiasm theme song in your head while you're imagin… | /r/askFDS | 15/11/20 08:36 PM |
| 4 | Is this a deal breaker? How do I proceed? Or do I not proceed?I'm late to chime in but I don't like that he was following a past tinder match and a bdsm model at that. That's gross and sketchy. You have every right to feel weird about it. I would tell him, "hey, I really like you, but that bdsm model thing really threw me off. I think we should slow down and keep seeing other people for a while and check back in on the whole exclusivity thing in 6 months. This is the pace that I'm comfortable with." Don't keep your eyes set on someone with wandering eyes. … | /r/askFDS | 13/11/20 10:57 PM |
| 7 | Well, since we can’t choose our sexuality, yes ladies we are raising our standards!Are you me? Lol I've only dated men and it always ends in dissatisfaction, disappointment, and repulsion for me. I've had thoughts of dating women but I'm scared that it would end up being an experiment gone wrong. I remember feeling very sexually attracted to men as a teen, but now, in my 20s, I don't really find anyone attractive anymore. It's very rare when someone catches my eye. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/11/20 05:31 PM |
| 10 | He keeps talking about celeb crushesHahahah YES. I wish I had FDS 10 years ago :( but the only thing that matters is that we all found our way here. | /r/askFDS | 08/11/20 10:47 PM |
| 31 | He keeps talking about celeb crushesI came here to say the same thing!!! This is a common manipulation tactic that abusive men use. My abusive ex would text me sexy pictures of his celebrity crushes on my way to exams or interviews. It would ruin my whole day. But oh nooooo it was all iNnOcEnT fUn because they weren't "real" people... 😐 | /r/askFDS | 08/11/20 04:49 PM |
| 4 | Saying a man will act right for the “right woman” is deeply misogynist and a huge lie.My mom told me this after one of my exes cheated on me. I don't think she was saying it to hurt me. I think she genuinely believed this to be true about men. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/10/20 08:55 PM |
| 1 | Saying a man will act right for the “right woman” is deeply misogynist and a huge lie.My mom told me this after one of my exes cheated on me. I don't think she was saying it to hurt me. I think she genuinely believed this to be true about men. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/10/20 08:55 PM |
| 25 | Recovered Pickmeishas! What was the one thing you did that helped you convert to a HVW?I used my own pickmeisha beliefs against myself. I finally realized that in order to become the all giving all caring person I wanted to be, I had to love myself first. I realized that I could never be rejected or neglected if I stopped rejecting and neglecting myself and the beautiful women in my life. I stopped giving too much to people who took too much (men) and I started appreciating the people I took for granted (women, myself included). | /r/askFDS | 16/10/20 03:39 PM |
| 3 | Thoughts on men who hunt?Thank you for this informative comment! And I'm sorry I phrased my post in such an insensitive misinformed way. Whenever I think of hunting, my mind immediately jumps to the whiskey guys, but your comment helps me see the difference between people like that and the people who have real respect for the animals they hunt and eat. | /r/askFDS | 15/10/20 11:27 PM |
| 6 | Thoughts on men who hunt?I'm vegan so it bothers me quite a bit. I've been reading up on the ethics of hunting and learning that it can be good for the environment and that it may actually be more ethical than buying meat from factory farms but it still doesn't sit well with me. I feel like a close minded person, especially since he doesn't judge me for being vegan. He is a gentle, giving, and empathetic person so I felt sad and confused when he told me that he hunts with his dad. I wish I had known about his hobby way … | /r/askFDS | 15/10/20 09:23 PM |
| 3 | Thoughts on men who hunt?Hahaha no, but he does eat the animals that he kills. | /r/askFDS | 15/10/20 08:44 PM |
| 11 | What made you question or doubt if your abuse was abuse?Yes!! My realization came through hindsight and reflection and epiphanies. One day, I looked back and realized that in all of the relationships that drove me insane, I was the only one ever doing the apologizing and for NO REASON. When I was in it (the abuse), I felt like everything was my fault. Whenever there was a blowout and my emotional abusers crazied me out, I believed it and took all of the blame. I would write them love letters, buy them gifts, do whatever they wanted, just so they woul… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/10/20 07:08 PM |
| 15 | how do we get rid of toxic friends?I used to do the slow fade but now I come right out and say "it seems like you need more from me than I can give you and I feel drained in this relationship. I think it's best if we go our separate ways. I'm going through a lot right now and need to prioritize my own needs. Take care." And block. No more room for toxic people (male or female) in my life anymore. Now, I'm focusing on leveling up and preventing energy vampires from entering my life rather than getting to the point where I need to … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/10/20 02:34 PM |
| 19 | Reason #235643 why we say men should like you more than you like themYes omg! I just posted a comment about Jay z and beyonce before reading your comment. He is the prime example of an ungrateful and insecure LVM. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/10/20 04:27 PM |
| 15 | Reason #235643 why we say men should like you more than you like themYes. Most men are just waiting for something better to come along. We live in a world where men feel like they are settling for Beyonce... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/10/20 04:25 PM |
| 16 | Need help translatingHas anyone else noticed that there are tons of kinky creeps on hinge? It's been worse than any other dating app for me. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/10/20 12:44 AM |
| 46 | She’s right, you can’t teach someone to love you or make you a priority. When someone genuinely cares for you, they’ll want to make you a priority and act like itMen are either born attentive and giving or they're not. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/10/20 03:25 PM |
| 13 | Why don’t guys understand that women just prefer tall dudes! It’s biology!This is so true!!! I've been on dates with tall men and short men, ugly men and handsome men, and I always end up in long term relationships with the tall, best looking men. My friends and family joke that it's because I'm shallow but that's not it at all. It's all in the personality. The tall and/or handsome guys are always more laid back, kind, and good humored. The shorter and/or uglier men are the "witty, sarcastic" "intellectual" types who complain about everything and neg and abuse me... m… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/10/20 03:10 PM |
| 17 | Field Report - 8th date suggestion from a man interested in pursuing me. See comment for context.I don't like the way he texts. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/10/20 02:58 PM |
| 42 | Don't let it go to your headI've noticed that LVMs have pickme moms. I've never dated a guy with a really cool, interesting mom before. I know that probably sounds judgemental and misogynistic of me to say but I have yet to meet a man with a mom who is as cool as the older women in my family and the older women I work with. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/10/20 02:49 PM |
| 12 | Canceling the date for this. He can’t bring me a chair? I just threw mine out as it was rusting but I’m not buying one this morning. We have five mutual friends so I have to let him down nicely. How?Exactly! He should have said "I'll bring chairs and blankets to sit on in case it rains!" This would have been the best most considerate response. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/10/20 02:38 PM |
| 23 | Canceling the date for this. He can’t bring me a chair? I just threw mine out as it was rusting but I’m not buying one this morning. We have five mutual friends so I have to let him down nicely. How?That text rubs me the wrong way. I think you were right to cancel the date. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/10/20 02:32 PM |
| 8 | And if it does, it’s probably gaslightingSame. I thought this was normal. A big wake up call for me was seeing that tik tok trend where the girlfriend says "I'm sad because you could have been nicer to me today." If you watch these videos, you'll see the boyfriends softening up and running over to their girlfriends to hear them and comfort them. I never knew what healthy communication looked like until I saw these videos. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/10/20 01:00 PM |
| 10 | And if it does, it’s probably gaslightingThese are the kinds of arguments that turn women into pickmes. I wish we taught kids about healthy communication in grade school. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/10/20 12:55 PM |
| 3 | 🤡*Circus music slowly gets louder*🤡This girl is dumb. Getting "picked" doesn't mean getting picked over other women. It means that you've done enough bending over backwards and lowering your standards to get some LVM to consider committing to you (spoiler: you can't change him and he will never commit to you/"pick" you). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/10/20 12:50 PM |
| 19 | Why do men treat the woman they cheated on you with and left you for better?I've noticed that men who step it up for their new woman are either 1) excited about feeling desired again and/or 2) trying to justify their choices (trying to convince themselves that the cheating and losing a great woman was worth it). This good behavior fades and he will cheat on the new woman eventually. Or she will cheat on him. Relationships that grow from infidelity always end in infidelity. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/10/20 12:38 PM |
| 1 | Dating a guy who smokes weed?I've learned that when a man make a big point to tell you that he smokes weed, he's got an addiction. They say that weed isn't addictive, but if someone feels the need to smoke it daily or even weekly, that's indicative of bigger mental health issues. | /r/askFDS | 01/10/20 11:42 PM |
| 56 | Formerly diagnosed but treated clamydiaI would talk to your doctor about this! Ask for a full std panel blood test. There are chlamydia blood tests that should be able to tell you if you have the bacteria anywhere in your body. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/10/20 03:55 PM |
| 2 | My ex posted this on Reddit. I blocked him here as well now.Omg this makes me so mad. Seems like this is the narrative that he needs. Sorry sis. I'm glad he's gone! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/09/20 09:13 PM |
| 13 | I reviewed my dating history and I tend to go for men who are very charming, and end up somehow abusive? Why?Did you have a conditional relationship with your parents when you were young? Was their love and attention hard to earn? Was their love inconsistent and unpredictable? We subconsciously seek out relationships that mirror our earliest bonds. We like familiarity, even if what's familiar to us is unhealthy. When you are lacking in self love, you fall for sparks and lovebombs because you think it means someone finally fell for you without having to earn their love and respect. Narcissists can smell… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/09/20 09:10 PM |
| 18 | If a guy you are dating has someone "who got away", tell them to go get that person backAnd that's on avoidant attachment style. Do these avoidants a favor and avoid them instead! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/09/20 02:21 PM |
| 23 | Guy treats his GF like shit because he thought she’d never leave. She leaves him and is gone for good. THIS IS A DAILY REMINDER TO TAKE ZERO SHIT FROM MEN!I was thinkinking the same thing. This whole thing scream "narcissist." If he was really feeling as shitty and lost as he says, he probably would have written a "seeking help" post instead. Like "hi reddit. I'm feeling down and could use some advice. I hate my job. I lost the best girlfriend I've ever had. My car is on its last leg. The future looks hopeless. What do I do?" Those kinds of pity party posts feel more genuine to me than the confessionals. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/09/20 02:08 PM |
| 108 | Women Are Being Trained by Porn to Like Degrading, Violent, Male-centered SexThis. Whenever my LVM ex tried porn moves on me, I would go along with it (because I was a pick me), but about 1 minute in, I would turn as dry a desert. He would act all shocked and offend by it too lol "what's wrong? Have you had enough water today?!?!" 💀😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/09/20 12:49 AM |
| 67 | Things LVM do =/I hate when LVMs stumble in with food and didn't think to bring you anything/didn't ask if you wanted anything. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/09/20 12:41 AM |
| 5 | How to date men less smart than youI'm so glad that you've been paying attention to these patterns! You're right - these smart guys have way too many emotional hang ups and ego problems. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/09/20 12:39 AM |
| 25 | How to date men less smart than youExactly! Being with a romantic partner should just feel safe and warm. I don't like feeling competitive with my SO or feeling like I have to walk on eggshells around them. I hate worrying that my SO will say something extremely sharp and hurtful during a disagreement, which "smart" guys often do. They always turn disagreements into arguments or debates and they always have to win. I just want to be loved, respected, provided for, and supported. And plus it's fun finding common ground with a part… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/09/20 12:28 AM |
| 3 | How to date men less smart than youAmen sis | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/09/20 11:43 PM |
| 3 | Excuses so common we’ve all heard them.This. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/09/20 11:42 PM |
| 43 | How to date men less smart than youYes!! Nurturing, generous, friendly/goofy, provider types are the way to go imo. They are the ones who will make the best dads/step-dads for your kids. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/09/20 11:24 PM |
| 157 | How to date men less smart than youAfter dating a few too many intellectual, abusive narcissists during my college/grad school years, I've learned to itch my intellectual scratches online, with colleagues, and with my friends instead of with my romantic partner. Now, I prefer to date extremely sweet men who are smart in other ways - emotionally intelligent men who are smart around the house (know how to fix things). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/09/20 10:59 PM |
| 3 | Girls any tips on how not to get attached? Or how to detach? I’ve been ghosted and I just can’t move past it.You did nothing wrong sis! He was intimidated by you and went out to find himself a pickmeisha instead. Bullet dodged! | /r/askFDS | 28/09/20 06:24 PM |
| 3 | Just broke up with a LVM - support needed 🥺These days, I don't like to visit any subs outside of this one, but I recommend checking out r/exnocontact. It will give you daily reminders to stay strong and never look back. You are so strong and amazing! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/09/20 03:52 PM |
| 79 | Im so tired of this shit, it’s like these girls have no purpose outside of sexually gratifying their partner, being the “cool gf” is their personality. It’s so pathetic, what’s worse is the number of likes and the comment section full of Pick Ames agreeing???It's because his attention will always be split between "his girl" and "his games" and pickmes love this challenge 🙄 so gross. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/09/20 03:35 PM |
| 35 | How do I deal with my exes treating their new girlfriends better than they treated me?He hasn't changed. The new girl is the one taking the photos, planning the trips, arranging the family visits. Say a quick prayer for her! And then go on your merry way lol | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/09/20 03:30 PM |
| 36 | It’s not possible to tell if a man is high value after a few dates/weeks/months. Vetting is an ongoing process, and you should be glad that it isThank you for posting this!!! I'm in the process of vetting someone right now and I'm taking it as seriously as a full time job. I've learned that my gut is my guardian angel, so I've been checking in with my instincts after every date. I also tell my sister and my best friend every single red/orange flag that comes up - no sugar coating or covering things up this time. Also, lately, I've been asking myself "what is the love story I want to tell my kids?" And that really keeps me in check. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/09/20 03:24 PM |
| 17 | Sex before marriageI've never been married so I've never waited until after marriage but I do recommend waiting a few months! This weeds out the fuckboys and the nice guys who get frustrated and start to treat you badly for not giving them the only thing they want. It also gives you time to think about the connection without any bonding hormones clouding your logic. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/09/20 03:05 PM |
| 208 | HVM anticipate your needs!This reminds me of a memory that I have from my longest pick-me/LVM relationship. The two of us were watching movies in his friend's basement and I leaned over and whispered "i have a really bad headache" under my breath, because I did and I was hoping we could leave. My LVM pat my shoulder, shrugged, and kept watching the movie. All of a sudden, my LVM's friend's little brother leaves and comes back into the room with a glass of water and ibuprofen. That was a huge wake up call for me. I had ne… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/09/20 04:32 AM |
| 2 | Second dateI second what a lot of ladies have already said - I've only experienced instant sparks with bad guys. Good men are consistent, respectful, and generous. They earn your trust slowly, surely, and naturally. Suddenly the bond and the attraction is there and you won't even know where it came from. It sneaks up on you when you least expect it, but it won't happen if you're trying to look for it or force it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/09/20 02:36 AM |
| 18 | How has FDS changed you?This might sound a little hippie woo woo, but ever since finding fds, I feel this strong, bright energy emanating from myself. An impenetrable halo of light that no one can stand near unless I invite them to. I feel like I belong somewhere for the first time in my life and I feel a new sense of purpose and clarity when I wake up in the morning. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/09/20 04:12 AM |
| 5 | How has FDS changed you?Goals right here!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/09/20 03:59 AM |
| 44 | Is it just me or commenting on anyone's appearance in a negative way is just the lowest trick ever?YES. I feel like this says so much about a person. In school, I was always so focused on lectures, assignments, whatever was happening in class, that I didn't have the time to (and didn't see the point in) paying attention to anyone except my teachers and friends. But every day. EVERY DAY. I'd get grouped up with a random person (usually a boy) who would stare at me and ask dumb, insulting questions like "why is your shirt so bright?" "Why don't you ever wear skirts?" "Why does your sweater look… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/09/20 06:52 PM |
| 7 | This Buzzfeed article shows older celebrities now and when they were 30 years old. This makes me happy as I was so afraid for my twenties to end and for the mythical "Wall" to hit - I see these cherub cheeks on lovely women at 30 and feel good about my future.😂💗 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/09/20 05:39 PM |
| 47 | This Buzzfeed article shows older celebrities now and when they were 30 years old. This makes me happy as I was so afraid for my twenties to end and for the mythical "Wall" to hit - I see these cherub cheeks on lovely women at 30 and feel good about my future.EXACTLY!! Astrologers call it The Return of Saturn - In your late 20s, Saturn returns to where it was when you were born and a huge shift can be felt in your life that carries into your early 30s. Not sure how much I believe in astrology but this Saturn returning thing makes sooooo much sense to me now that I'm entering my late 20s. I feel saturn returning. I feel the "wall" approaching and it feels so good 😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/09/20 05:36 PM |
| 1 | How do you perceive male anger?Same. I'm sorry you've been through this too. I've already made a vow to never yell at my kids unless I see them walking out into a busy street or something like that. Only life or death situations. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/09/20 03:03 PM |
| 12 | Guy tries experiment on getting women to initiate the first move. Fails. Hahah yes!!! Sometimes, their profile pictures haunt my dreams! I love having the power to erase myself from their list of matches. One time, I unmatched a guy after a few days of silence. He immediately sent me a threatening message on instagram (this is why you should never use the same photos across different sites!)... That's when I realized that most of these lurkers are probably "nice guys" who can't handle rejection. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/09/20 10:34 PM |
| 22 | Guy tries experiment on getting women to initiate the first move. Fails. I will always choose the man who is able to put his ego aside, risk rejection, and send me a sweet, normal greeting. This shows confidence and strength in character. The guys who never message me creep me out. I hate seeing their pictures lurking there in my queue. These guys are either racking up matches for an ego boost, lazy, afraid of rejection, or getting bitter that they keep getting ghosted on an app filled with strangers who don't owe them anything. 🚩🚩🚩 If I'm the second one to swipe rig… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/09/20 10:24 PM |
| 16 | How do you perceive male anger?I grew up in a household filled with explosive anger so I am unfortunately desensitized to angry outbursts. I'm working on conditioning myself to identify unhealthy anger when I see it. Interesting question, OP. Thank you for getting this discussion going! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/09/20 09:59 PM |
| 38 | Men will always find a way to twist the narrative and prey on our compassion. Hold strong and trust yourselves, queens.I never knew the psychology behind this, but preying on compassion makes a lot of sense. Thank you!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/09/20 09:52 PM |
| 1 | Struggling not to text my ex because I’m lonely at work. Any tips?I struggle with this too! I'm sorry girl. I go back and pick apart everything I said and did, but then I pause and think - "wait. Do I remember everything he said and did in this level of detail?" The answer is "no" because everyone is their own harshest critic! People remember how you make them feel - not what you say and do (unless you are a total jerk, which you definitely are not). Men are only as faithful as their options. They are constantly stuck in a "grass is always greener" mindset and… | /r/askFDS | 20/09/20 04:02 PM |
| 3 | Us women have horrible options on OLD😂 I don't know about you, but I have a bunch of little tests that I use now. If I say "Talk to you later! About to take a shower and go to bed." and he follows up with anything remotely sexual or suggestive - blocked. Another good test is "I have an excruciating headache today so I'm going to take it easy." Red flags: "Why do you have a headache?" (Umm does it matter why? I hate it when they assume I'm hungover or tell me to drink more water 😑) "Damn. That sucks." Green flag: "Oh no! I'm sorry. … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/09/20 03:13 PM |
| 4 | Strategies for not being lonely, especially in the winter?Oh damn I didn't even think about this. They have to ruin everything good don't they? | /r/askFDS | 20/09/20 01:41 PM |
| 2 | Us women have horrible options on OLDI have a short description of my personality. (I used my Myers Briggs personality type description as a guide to help me get this part right!) And then I have a list of 3 causes that I care about and a list of 3 hobbies. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/09/20 01:39 PM |
| 19 | Strategies for not being lonely, especially in the winter?I could have written this exact same post. I have exactly two girlfriends in my life who respond to my texts, but I really struggle to connect with them beyond that. And covid has kind of ruined any plans that I had of making friends through hobbies. Winter is going to be hard, but I know we can do it. Talking to women on FDS has filled my life with a new sense of purpose and connectedness, and I'm wondering if, after covid, we could somehow organize an FDS convention someday? Or maybe smaller s… | /r/askFDS | 19/09/20 05:58 PM |
| 1 | Couples on YouTube/ in the media who are actually good couples?I've only seen a few Gabi Demartino videos, so I can't speak with complete certainty on this, but her boyfriend, Collin, seems like a gem. They're really cute together. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/09/20 04:57 PM |
| 7 | Just a rant about comments on makeupUmm did a man write this? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/09/20 04:31 PM |
| 15 | Us women have horrible options on OLDI've had the free time before bed lately, so I've been swiping 1-2 hours almost every night for 2 months, and I think that I may have finally found a decent guy (out of the approx. 6,000 profiles I've swiped through!). BUT I am still going to vet this guy for at least 6 months before I can call him anything more than "decent." Lots of people have common decency. It's nothing special. Nothing worth celebrating. Let me know if you ever want any swiping tips!! My friends call me the Sherlock Holmes… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/09/20 04:24 PM |
| 8 | I just couldn't get it right with my last relationship. It triggered my anxiety, depression, and so I reflected on any toxic traits I may have been developing. I became unwell in that relationship, my mental health declined. Tonight, I realised, he is on the spectrum, and it all finally made sense.YES. I had these exact same symptoms when I was dating a guy who was a narcissistic sociopath. He was a monster who lacked remorse and empathy. I had similar, but much milder, symptoms when I was dating a man with extreme OCD (and possibly autism?), but I could never bring myself to call this guy a monster. I knew that the lack of emotional intimacy in this relationship was something else, something much less intentional and sinister. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/09/20 04:12 PM |
| 100 | Nope. He is not going to be my projectI did this for a guy once. And then, later, when I had a full blown anxiety attack in front of him, he sat 10 feet away from me, and stared at me like I was a rabid animal. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/09/20 04:05 PM |
| 1 | Officially done with r/datingoverthirty.Here is the post! https://www.reddit.com/r/datingoverthirty/comments/iuhbta/i_have_just_been_finished_with_after_2_months/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share And here is the scrote's comment: https://www.reddit.com/r/datingoverthirty/comments/iuhbta/comment/g5m14uz My comment (the comment above his with downvotes) was flagged and deleted. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/09/20 10:48 PM |
| 2 | Struggling not to text my ex because I’m lonely at work. Any tips?Came here to say the same thing! Lovebombers fall out of love as quickly as they fall in. Also, something that keeps me from contacting my ex is thinking about any possible pick-mes he could be currently stringing along (he used to string me along so I know his MO). I don't want to be that ex that swoops in and rips him away from them. Chances are, their self esteem isn't strong enough to handle this. I've been the pick-me on the other end of this so I know how much it hurts. Glad I finally foun… | /r/askFDS | 18/09/20 04:48 PM |
| 2 | Officially done with r/datingoverthirty.Thank you! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/09/20 02:29 PM |
| 1 | Officially done with r/datingoverthirty.😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/09/20 02:17 PM |
| 2 | Officially done with r/datingoverthirty.I'm sorry!! I hate how the mods in all of these other subs turn a blind eye to the abuse and sexism. I wrote a message to one of the female mods in datingoverthirty begging her and the other female mods to step up and make a change, but I never heard back. FDS mods are the best ❤ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/09/20 02:16 PM |
| 2 | Officially done with r/datingoverthirty.YES 😂 where were you ladies when I needed to tell this guy off? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/09/20 02:11 PM |
| 3 | Officially done with r/datingoverthirty.This is exactly what I was thinking when I told her he was insecure! Thank you! P.S. Amazing that you have multiple degrees from around the world 😍 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/09/20 02:10 PM |
| 2 | Officially done with r/datingoverthirty.Their "logic" makes me so mad!!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/09/20 02:38 AM |
| 3 | Officially done with r/datingoverthirty.I will definitely start doing this from now on - thanks! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/09/20 02:37 AM |
| 2 | Officially done with r/datingoverthirty.Good idea! Thank you! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/09/20 02:36 AM |
| 12 | Officially done with r/datingoverthirty.God what a fucked up world. I will definitely have to read up on this phenomenon - thank you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/09/20 10:50 PM |
| 14 | Officially done with r/datingoverthirty.His "How did you get a PhD with this level of reading comprehension?" question is the troubling part. He is so insecure about his own level of education that he feels the need to attack highly educated women. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/09/20 09:46 PM |
| 15 | Officially done with r/datingoverthirty.Exactly. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/09/20 07:41 PM |
| 48 | Officially done with r/datingoverthirty.You've got a good point, but his reason for dumping her (lackluster conversations) sounded like a neg to me. He was subtly undermining her intellect. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/09/20 07:31 PM |
| 22 | Officially done with r/datingoverthirty.So true! 😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/09/20 07:06 PM |
| 40 | Officially done with r/datingoverthirty.The same thing happened to me in my first year of grad school!!! A guy came right out and told me that he couldn't see me anymore because he felt like I was going somewhere and he wasn't. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/09/20 06:49 PM |
| 2 | How to move on from someone you didn’t even date?I'm so happy you're feeling a little bit better!! Watch this video about self love if you have a minute too! https://youtu.be/1OmtQbUF23c I don't know much about type 4s (I'm a 9!) but I know that type 4s feel emotion very deeply 😢 Here are some personal growth tips for 4s that I found through a quick Google search: Self-esteem and self-confidence will develop only from having positive experiences, whether or not you believe that you are ready to have them. Therefore, put yourself in the way of … | /r/askFDS | 16/09/20 04:49 PM |
| 2 | How to move on from someone you didn’t even date?You're not silly! This is unfortunately how the addiction center of our brains works :( He took a piece of your ego away from you (there was probably a part of you that thought he would make you feel more worthy, look more worthy in the eyes of others) and now your brain is telling you that the only way to get that piece of your ego back is to get this guy back. That if you can convince him that you're worthy of love, then you must actually be worthy of love. But you can heal this part of your b… | /r/askFDS | 16/09/20 04:00 PM |
| 2 | How to move on from someone you didn’t even date?If he was acting like he didn't care about you at all, then you were so brave and so smart to walk away. You made the right choice. He was never going to change and give you what you needed from a partner. | /r/askFDS | 16/09/20 04:08 AM |
| 5 | Being Love-BombedSeconded. | /r/askFDS | 16/09/20 03:42 AM |
| 7 | How to move on from someone you didn’t even date?These almost-something relationships are so hard to get over. I'm sorry. Try to retrain your brain to think about something good and productive every time you think about him and remove as many reminders of him/triggers from your daily life as possible. Also know that rejection is never personal. Nothing you could have said or done would have changed his mind. You are amazing, and if he can't see your worth, then it's time to stop seeing his. | /r/askFDS | 16/09/20 03:36 AM |
| 42 | I thought I married a HVM, but not 2 months in and red flags are starting to show.I was about to say the same thing. People with consciences don't say horribly damaging things like this and denying that he said anything is gaslighting. There would be no coming back from this for me. I would start drafting up an exit plan. | /r/askFDS | 16/09/20 03:30 AM |
| 1 | Calling all FDS experts! We need your help over at r/AskFDS to help answer personal relationship questions.Requesting approval please! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/09/20 03:19 AM |
| 13 | Pick-me defending her "HVM" 💀I love that she knows all of the official FDS terminology 😂 Like others have said here, being "picked" or "chosen" isn't something to be proud of. I never want to be thrown into the arena with my fellow women, my allies, my queens, my sisters, ever again. If a man in my future ever tries to pit me against another woman, I'll wave my white flag, wish the other woman the best, and take myself out of the equation. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/09/20 02:31 PM |
| 3 | Older men (late 30s+) claiming they "never met the right one"I've always read this as code for "i never found the right one because i was always hung up on the one who got away." I don't know what it is about men and that one ex who broke their heart in their early-mid 20s. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/09/20 02:21 PM |
| 6 | Don’t be easily impressedThank you thedollparts and intersting_source. Sending love and gratitude to you both. I used to be too scared to even type out my story but now I share it with the ferocity of a mama bear. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/09/20 08:13 PM |
| 44 | Don’t be easily impressedSexual assault trigger warning: In my early 20s, an online predator lovebombed me and traveled 12 hours to visit me. He bought the bus tickets without consulting me. Being the pick-me that I was, I told myself that this was such a gentlemanly thing to do and the least I could do was set aside a guest bed for him at my house while he was visiting. I kept insisting on sleeping in my own bed, but he told me that I owed it to him to stay in his bed and talk to him for a while after all of the travel… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/09/20 06:42 PM |
| 8 | This is why I don't even date.Hahahah awww I've been there too queen. I've been there too 😭 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/09/20 03:18 PM |
| 24 | Necessary armor for those seeking OLD enlightenmentI shouldn't be revealing this green flag because I don't want any scrotes to take notes lol but I've found that the guys who open with questions or comments about my dog are generally sweet, down to earth guys. Not the boldest approach but I'd take that over the guys who make snarky remarks about my name, bio, pictures any day. These guys always turn out to be pricks. And the guys who pick out the lowest hanging bait/fruit on my bio to comment on always turn out to be lazy and shallow. Go figure… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/09/20 03:10 PM |
| 9 | Necessary armor for those seeking OLD enlightenmentThank you and thank you for posting this list!!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/09/20 02:58 PM |
| 70 | Necessary armor for those seeking OLD enlightenmentI fell for the "witty, sarcastic" guy too many times in my past pick-me life. We need to stop telling girls that bullying is the highest form of flattery you can get from a boy!! In my experience, the abusive men I've dated have always used this sick, twisted reverse psychology tactic to get what they want out of me. "If I keep teasing her for being a prude, she'll put out and let me degrade her in bed." "If I keep calling her a nerd, she'll stop questioning my authority." "If I keep telling her… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/09/20 02:51 PM |
| 18 | I only have one question: WHYYES | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/09/20 02:28 PM |
| 20 | This is why I don't even date.I agree!! Depends how you use it and what you take away from it. One of the most important things I've taken away from this love language stuff is that, back when I was a huge pick me, my love languages would magically change for every man I was with... When I took the test as an extremely single and independent post-fds queen, my love language was acts of service (hands down) which I will always hold in the highest regard from now on. I'll will never starve myself on a measly diet of "quality" … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/09/20 02:27 PM |
| 5 | This is why I don't even date.SO TRUE. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/09/20 02:20 PM |
| 36 | This is why I don't even date.I came here to say the same thing! I think it's a red flag when a man is even familiar with the love languages. I feel like that means he was in a dysfunctional relationship and his ex kept trying to communicate her needs to him without success. That's how it was with me and my deadbeat ex anyway. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/09/20 12:51 PM |
| 15 | "If female want respect, wHy cAn I sEe hEr?!"🤣 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/09/20 07:20 PM |
| 26 | NVM, LVM, and HVM exist in every species."If females were to have a change of heart and stop going for the underdog, well then one color might win out, another might disappear entirely; in other words, the species would evolve, change." Ladies, let's keep the blue HVMs in style for good so the NVMs and LVMs eventually disappear. Pretty cool that females have the power to change the course of evolution! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/09/20 10:05 PM |
| 12 | Quick rant about the language used towards the woman a man didn’t choose.Yeah I was guilty of comparing myself to Girl B for a second there and it drove me crazy. One of my friends actually knows Girl B very distantly and said that she is a really lost and insecure girl who has gone through rehab twice. Recently graduated college and is unemployed and living at home. Sick to think that maybe he chose the younger, more fragile girl so he could feel better about himself? But now I'm just starting to sound like an asshole. Not her fault that she took that guy away from … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/09/20 09:47 PM |
| 3 | Quick rant about the language used towards the woman a man didn’t choose.Definitely before I found fds!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/09/20 09:05 PM |
| 26 | Quick rant about the language used towards the woman a man didn’t choose.YES. I had a week-long, whirlwind romance with this guy who deleted hinge the day after meeting me, bought me nice gifts, cuddled with me, kissed me passionately, cooked me dinner, started talking about future road trips and meeting each other's families. He dumped me out of the blue with a "sorry i don't feel a spark" text. I stalked his instagram the next day and saw him tagging a new girl in his stories. The next week he was tagging her in photos. He was taking her to the same places he took … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/09/20 08:30 PM |
| 22 | Flew across the country for a guy, heard him matching with girls on Tinder in the middle of the night.A man is only as faithful as his options. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/09/20 05:47 PM |
| 24 | This is something to bear in mind. The devil doesn’t always come with horns and a pointy tail. Sometimes, he can come in the form of everything you’ve ever wanted.This is so true. I keep falling for sweet guys who have just gotten out of long term relationships thinking "thank god! A woman wanted to stay with him for X amount of years. He's high value! He's had practice! He knows how to treat a woman right!" I go out with them. Turns out they do know how to treat a lady right. They know the drill. They know what to do and what to say because they've had that boyfriend practice. BUT it quickly becomes evident that it's all just a show. They're just robot b… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/09/20 08:01 PM |
| 2 | When he says that he didn't feel a spark, it means that there was another woman in the picture all along. Never trust a "perfect" first date!!So true!! Another red flag that I'm noticing just now is that all three of these guys told me about their first heartbreaks for some reason 🤔 why would this come up on a first date? Very creepy and weird. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/09/20 01:43 PM |
| 16 | When he says that he didn't feel a spark, it means that there was another woman in the picture all along. Never trust a "perfect" first date!!Damn I'm so sorry. They say that there are two kinds of romantic prospects out there: the person that can give you 90% of what you want and need in a relationship and the kind of person who can only give you 10% (usually just sex). Men who leave the 90 for the 10 end up feeling so lost and empty in the end. They die dreaming of the 90 they lost. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/09/20 10:04 PM |
| 4 | When he says that he didn't feel a spark, it means that there was another woman in the picture all along. Never trust a "perfect" first date!!Will do ♡ hugs | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/09/20 10:00 PM |
| 5 | When he says that he didn't feel a spark, it means that there was another woman in the picture all along. Never trust a "perfect" first date!!You know it boo! 😘 thank you! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/09/20 09:53 PM |
| 10 | When he says that he didn't feel a spark, it means that there was another woman in the picture all along. Never trust a "perfect" first date!!Wow this hits hard. Thank you. I'm actually going through some vitamin deficiency/hormonal imbalance issues right now so this makes sense. I keep saying "come on you're stronger than this" but my body just wants to crumple and cry. Thank you so much. I'll start researching multivitamins. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/09/20 09:53 PM |
| 11 | When he says that he didn't feel a spark, it means that there was another woman in the picture all along. Never trust a "perfect" first date!!YES!! Thank you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/09/20 07:41 PM |
| 12 | When he says that he didn't feel a spark, it means that there was another woman in the picture all along. Never trust a "perfect" first date!!I'm so sorry!!! No no it's good that you told me this. I need to get scared and wake up. Remember that the virus and the health complications that followed are not your fault. Don't ever kick yourself or blame yourself for catching it. I caught a weird bacteria from an old ex too. Still experiencing complications from it as well. These monsters are poisonous. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/09/20 07:38 PM |
| 15 | When he says that he didn't feel a spark, it means that there was another woman in the picture all along. Never trust a "perfect" first date!!Damn. This is horror movie level scary. Very good point - thank you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/09/20 07:34 PM |
| 26 | When he says that he didn't feel a spark, it means that there was another woman in the picture all along. Never trust a "perfect" first date!!Exactly!!! When I go out with a man I don't feel a spark with, I instantly go into cordial acquaintance mode. I don't tell him how amazing and handsome he is or ask him for a kiss and a second date, etc. I tell him "yeah I'm keeping things very casual. Just getting out there to meet new people until I find that person I have a spark with." | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/09/20 07:31 PM |
| 9 | When he says that he didn't feel a spark, it means that there was another woman in the picture all along. Never trust a "perfect" first date!!Oh god I'm sorry :( So gross! You're right. Kissing is no joke. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/09/20 07:24 PM |
| 20 | When he says that he didn't feel a spark, it means that there was another woman in the picture all along. Never trust a "perfect" first date!!I've been taking it so personally and replaying everything I did and said on these dates. Ugh. Thank you. This is reassuring to know. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/09/20 07:05 PM |
| 38 | When he says that he didn't feel a spark, it means that there was another woman in the picture all along. Never trust a "perfect" first date!!You're so right about none of these scenarios being indicative of HVM behavior. To add onto what you said, I also feel like an HVM would 1) choose you, invest in you, treat you like the only option or 2) if they really did feel a stronger connection with someone else, they'd be upfront and honest about finding someone else instead of leaving the door open and giving you false hope. One pattern that I noticed about these three guys in particular was that they all gave off kind of a hopeless roman… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/09/20 07:03 PM |
| 16 | When he says that he didn't feel a spark, it means that there was another woman in the picture all along. Never trust a "perfect" first date!!You're so right. There is absolutely no way to tell and I was stupid for thinking I could cheat the system. These three guys were gorgeous, successful men who also happened to be very kind, gentle, generous, and attentive :( The best part about them (in my eyes because of my past experiences with "nice guys" and narcissists) was that they also seemed to be very mentally healthy too. No lovebombing. No creepy seduction tactics. No underlying insecurities or resentment toward women. And they talke… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/09/20 06:39 PM |
| 17 | When he says that he didn't feel a spark, it means that there was another woman in the picture all along. Never trust a "perfect" first date!!Girl I feel your pain. I cut things off with other prospects for these guys too. I feel so dumb. I love that second part about dating multiple people and being choosy! You don't know how much I needed to read that advice! Thank you ♡ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/09/20 06:29 PM |
| 8 | How to identify lovebombing?One pattern I've noticed is that the lovebombers that I've dated are very quick to share their sob stories and past traumas with me. They are trying to force intimacy and fill a hole that can never be filled. These guys are constantly looking for a quick fix, savior, biggest fan, love slave, punching bag, victim, however you want to put it. They aren't looking for a long-term partner. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/08/20 03:58 PM |
| 9 | Scrote hella mad I commented about moving on from my ex’sWhen I was on okcupid very briefly the other week, there was a question that asked "Do you have an ex you would love to date again?" I immediately answered "hell no." So many guys answered "yes, but only one." ONLY ONE oh thank GOD you are only still in love with ONE ex hahaha | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/08/20 03:52 PM |
| 8 | How do you prioritize LV/HV characteristics?I think he may be lovebombing you. Telling you that he has never felt this good about another woman is bad news. With lovebombers, you feel good in their presence, but as soon as they're away, you start to feel this uneasiness settle in. A good relationship feels good all the time. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/08/20 03:44 PM |
| 1 | Does anyone else go through waves of “craving” a man?Yes!! Happens every fall for me and I hate it. I can't tell if it's because my birthday is in the fall (looking for a new start?) or if it's because the weather is getting cold? Idk. It's so weird. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/08/20 11:56 PM |
| 2 | Oh, Honey. He's Actually Hiding Behind HerHahaha "weak child" 😂 yes feeling safe with them is so important! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/08/20 07:14 PM |
| 10 | Left this sub for fear of being “too mean” then my ex texted me just to let me know he has a new gf.Yes!! It's exclusively a male thing. Incels want sex and submission; FDSers want love, respect, and commitment. Night and day. Editing to add that incels live in fear of ego bruises. FDSers live in fear of bodily bruises. Incel: "boo hoo I was rejected" FDSer: "boo hoo a man punched me in the face and broke my jaw for rejecting him" 😐 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/08/20 03:19 PM |
| 22 | It really is hard out here 😣😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/08/20 02:43 PM |
| 66 | Oh, Honey. He's Actually Hiding Behind HerI can't picture any of my exes protecting me in a moment of danger. I can picture all of them bolting and not looking back. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/08/20 02:39 PM |
| 6 | Lack of timely response = lack of respect and interestGood point | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/08/20 02:35 PM |
| 8 | Don’t give the keys to your castle so easily.Thank you for sharing this beautiful analogy! I hand keys out to people like candy 😞 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/08/20 12:10 AM |
| 4 | Should I block an ex for the simple fact that hearing from him makes me sad and hinders my self improvement progress?True! It depends on how dangerous the man is. If he is the scary, stalker type, then you need to firmly state that you no longer want to hear from him and save proof of this. If he breaks this wish, you'll have something to show the police. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/08/20 05:20 PM |
| 2 | Creating A Dating AppOh another idea! Conversations could close after a certain amount of inactivity unless you both agree to keep it open. Like after 2 days of inactivity, both people are asked if they would like to reopen the conversation. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/08/20 04:35 PM |
| 13 | Guys with female friendsI know it's going to hurt but I think you need to walk away. It sounds like he might be using triangulation tactics to manipulate you. Triangulation is when a person (usually a narcissist) will throw a third person into the mix to mess with someone's head. He might feel like he is losing his grip on you and is therefore trying to make you jealous to keep you in his grasp. Something that always helps me is to imagine if the tables were turned. If I was in a committed relationship and a man who ha… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/08/20 02:15 PM |
| 25 | And to think, I used to consider merely having a bookshelf a green flag 🤦♀️Well, damn. This was my abusive ex's bookshelf. He was also a coffee, music, fashion, film snob. The only female musical artist he respected was lana del rey. Ring any bells for anyone else? Lol | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/08/20 02:05 PM |
| 8 | Should I block an ex for the simple fact that hearing from him makes me sad and hinders my self improvement progress?Yes. Tell him that his texts bring you down and ask him to stop texting you. If he ever dismisses your feelings and texts you out of selfishness again, you need to block him for good. A man who keeps contacting you even though you've asked him not to is a LVM/NVM. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/08/20 01:53 PM |
| 14 | Creating A Dating AppI think it would be nice to have a word min and max required for bios. Not too short not to long. Say 50 - 100 words or something like that? I think it would encourage people to put more of a conscious effort into their bios. There's the risk that a bunch of LVM would type the same word 100 times, but at least they'd be exposing themselves up front. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/08/20 03:03 AM |
| 1 | Half of All Men Have Never Had an STD TestDo any of you have tips for affordable/covid safe testing? Are home tests a good option? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/08/20 07:27 PM |
| 7 | Watch how he drivesCame here to say the same thing 😖 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/08/20 11:01 PM |
| 21 | The other side I guess (Not an excuse! I just found it interesting information) Thoughts??You can sense his bitterness about her breakup text: "after TWO years blah blah blah I wake up to just ONE TEXT 😡" he's definitely fishing for validation and pity here. She clearly broke up with him over text for safety reasons. She knew it would be too scary to break up with him in person. I don't trust his post at all. Probably using it to reach out to her and her friends as bait. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/08/20 12:45 PM |
| 11 | What are some things that you used to think were normal/cute but now realize are red flags? 🚩This | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/08/20 11:40 PM |
| 7 | How do I feel empowered/desirable when I have chronic pain?I'm so sorry for your pain 😔 I hope you get your diagnosis and proper treatment soon. It sounds to me like your ex may have had narcissistic personality disorder (or traits of it at least). People with NPD are incapable of forming emotional bonds; they are also void of empathy and remorse, hence their horrible treatment of people who are sick or in pain. If I were you, I would research NPD and learn about the warning signs so you can avoid dating men like your ex in the future. One of the best t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/08/20 01:17 PM |
| 61 | LVMs confuse trauma with the consequences of their actions. Reserve your sympathy for the deserving.Back in my pick me days, I went into a flying rage when my ex finally admitted that 95% of the girls I "didn't need to worry about" were past hookups. I screamed until my lungs gave out and threw his stuff out on the lawn. To this day, he still tells people how traumatizung that day was... for him. 😐 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/08/20 01:08 PM |
| 2 | Being in a relationship is too much for me sometimes. I am so insecure. Thinking about my boyfriend imagining other girls, or even in the car with him and driving past a pretty woman jogging makes me want to break up with him.Agreed 👍 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/08/20 02:24 PM |
| 22 | Being in a relationship is too much for me sometimes. I am so insecure. Thinking about my boyfriend imagining other girls, or even in the car with him and driving past a pretty woman jogging makes me want to break up with him.I have felt this exact same way in relationships with men who don't treat me right. My gut knows that these LVM aren't taking care of me or meeting my emotional and physical needs. My anxiety knows that I'm feeling unstable, so my mind starts looking for external answers and reasons to be anxious. This feeling of uneasiness and anxiety always manifests itself as possessiveness for me. A man who gives you loving, connected physical intimacy and true, tender emotional intimacy will make you feel s… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/08/20 01:07 PM |
| 34 | Online DatingI've learned to be very wary of block texters: the guys who write long blocks of texts right out of the gate. At first, it feels nice to talk to a guy who replies with more than 2 words, but the block texters I've dated have all turned out to be the smooth talker, emotional manipulator, mansplainer, devils advocate, closeted sexist, womanizer, love bomber, loves the sound of his own voice, user type. It's so strange. It's like they use long text and phone conversations to lure you in. They'll tr… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/08/20 04:27 PM |
| 7 | What originally attracted you to your LVM/NVM ex?I have this horrible habit of going for the complete opposite of my latest ex. "Oh that ex ignored my existence, let's go for this possessive guy!" "Oh that ex was invasive and manipulative, let's go for this emotionally unavailable guy!" It's so bad. Never again. Self awareness is key. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/08/20 04:47 AM |
| 19 | Thoughts from a newbie memberYeah it's no one else's business. You do you, girl. My sister works for a woman who is a VP at a global enterprise (won't give too many revealing details). The VP lady is 43 and she just had her first baby. She had to do some hormonal therapy to get pregnant, but her baby is in perfect health. This woman's husband is the definition of a HVM and they got married in their late 30s. She wouldn't have gotten to where she is and she wouldn't have the house or husband that she has now if she had set l… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/08/20 02:31 PM |
| 14 | Filled with resentmentSometimes I get weak and check up on people who have mistreated me. It stings really badly when I see that they are doing "great" online. But I have to remember that social media is all fake. It's just a scripted highlights reel of someone's life. And then, I also remind myself that these people with seemingly perfect lives on social media are most likely very insecure and most likely plagued with comparison syndrome (why else would they be showing off on social media?). Rise above it, free your… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/08/20 02:14 PM |
| 3 | How should I feel about this?...Sorry this happened to you at work. Not cool. Idk. I'd be really disturbed and annoyed if this happened to me. The facebook thing is creepy. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/08/20 02:47 AM |
| 99 | I Need HelpSomething that has helped me in the past is to write about everything horrible my ex did to me in third person. Example: instead of writing, "He cheated on me." Write, "He cheated on her." Suddenly, you start to see your relationship from an outside perspective and realize that you would never wish that kind of pain and disrespect on anyone. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/08/20 02:22 AM |
| 19 | Being creeped out is perfectly validI needed to read this today - thank you 🙏 I'm never going to excuse creepiness as "just a little quirky" ever again. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/08/20 08:00 PM |
| 2 | What common bio phrase you’re tired of seeing on OLD?😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/08/20 02:54 PM |
| 2 | Know your worth girls!Thank you 🙏 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/08/20 05:03 PM |
| 20 | How do you tell if a guy is boring or if you're just so used to toxicity in relationships that healthy feels boring?For me, boring usually means that there is no emotional intimacy. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/08/20 04:58 PM |
| 1 | I had a pickmeisha-piphany today.Yes!! I prefer being dumped too. You're right, it hurts, but the right thing to do is let the person leave and respect their wishes. It reminds me of that quote that I've been seeing on here a lot: "When men say no, it's final. When women say no, it's a negotiation." It's so twisted of these men to think that they can verbally abuse us back into the relationship. Like you said, they're only doing it to save their own ego. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/08/20 02:54 PM |
| 4 | I had a pickmeisha-piphany today.Thank you so much for looking out for me 🙏 maybe we could compile the advice that you and the other girls have given me into one post for the whole community? It sounds like many of us have unfortunately gone through this. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/08/20 01:01 PM |
| 8 | I had a pickmeisha-piphany today.It's interesting that you mention this because a video about narcissists just popped up in my YouTube feed and it describes most of my exes to a t. The video was both scary and validating to watch. I'm scared to confront my relationship history and my childhood wounds but I think it's time. Thank you for looking out for me. I will go and read these books ASAP. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/08/20 04:58 AM |
| 5 | I had a pickmeisha-piphany today.I'm so sorry that you had to go through this traumatic experience. How awful 😔 I hope you have been able to find safety and peace. So proud of you for planning and thinking ahead. Thank you for sharing this advice. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/08/20 12:37 AM |
| 3 | I had a pickmeisha-piphany today.Thank you so much! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/08/20 12:31 AM |
| 2 | I had a pickmeisha-piphany today.Thank you! 💖 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/08/20 12:30 AM |
| 26 | I had a pickmeisha-piphany today.Good point, good point! I'm so sorry the cops dismissed you. I hope you've been able to find safety and peace. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/08/20 12:30 AM |
| 7 | I had a pickmeisha-piphany today.Thank you so much! 💖 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/08/20 12:26 AM |
| 39 | I had a pickmeisha-piphany today.This comment brought tears to my eyes - thank you sis 💕 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/08/20 10:27 PM |
| 10 | I had a pickmeisha-piphany today.This is amazing advice - thank you. I'll be smart and safe. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/08/20 10:26 PM |
| 12 | You ladies inspired me and I whipped this piece up in less than 24 hours. If I want to, I will ✌️Beautiful! Really needed to read this today. Thank you ❤ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/08/20 04:57 PM |
| 7 | Should I cancel the date?When I was on bumble at the end of last year, I matched with guy who said "yo" and then nothing else. I was really excited that he messaged me back, and was bummed that our conversation ended with his "yo." I waited a week, checked his profile, and saw that he had added new photos and info to his bio. While I knew it was normal for him to be on the hunt for other matches (that's how OLD goes) it still stung. When he finally remembered that I existed (settled for me?), he messaged me again and as… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/08/20 01:55 PM |
| 1 | I left because he never took pictures of usSame! 😝🙌 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/08/20 01:20 AM |
| 2 | I left because he never took pictures of usSo proud of you for walking away ❤ I read a quote once that said something like "you can tell what a person values the most in life by looking through their camera roll." This was the best reason to leave him. You are so strong and so perceptive. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/07/20 05:30 PM |
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