I used to be a forever girlfriend dating a NVM for 12 years. He cheated on me and got someone else pregnant. We’ve been broken up for almost a year now. I feel like I’ve taken considerable steps in trying to better myself and level up in general.

I’ve blocked him on everything. I even deleted all his friends on social media. I’m almost done with my Master’s. I took up judo as a hobby. I spend my time with good friends. I just signed up to take welding classes at the local community college because I’ve always been interested in fabrication. I learned how to work on my car myself (when I would have felt helpless or clueless if I was still with my ex).

However, I think about him a lot and it makes me emotionally and mentally exhausted. How do I stop? Also, the men that have wanted to date me always tell me they can sense I have walls up. I pushed away a couple of HVM that wanted to be in serious relationships with me. Why can’t I stop doing this?

Edit: Thank you to everyone offering advice and tips. I am willing to try all of them out. I also know I need therapy. I just made an online appointment for a counseling session.