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breadandbunny
[–]Interesting_Source16FDS Newbie62 points63 points64 points 5 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
And their love language is ALWAYS physical touch🙄
[–]CoffeeBeforeAdultyFDS Newbie18 points19 points20 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Then even when you try to say that its "not just about sex", they still only initiate things like cuddling or a hand touch when they want something from you. 🙄
[–]Interesting_Source16FDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Facts. I’ve noticed that mostly EVERY TIME there was some advancement of affection, like a simple hand touch or kiss, devolved quickly to an ass and tit-grab free-for-all
[–]KimpracticalFDS Newbie36 points37 points38 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Lmao i came here to say this. That’s why the whole love language thing is a joke. All of the ‘languages’ are things that should be important in a relationship. Giving people options means they will put in less effort. And asking guys what they want in a relationship is pointless because they will always choose sex. So I feel like the whole love language thing just hurts women, like everything else in the world
[–]Interesting_Source16FDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Agree. And you will be gaslit to say that physical touch is not as important as any of the other love “languages” becuz mUh pEnIs
[–]thatboyaintright0FDS Newbie12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
The depravity of men is fucking sad. My male friend recently texted me saying his cousin died in front of him & he was shocked by it. Trying to help i asked "would you like to talk about it?" The dumbass replied "no..i just want someone to cuddle with to forget this". Instant block. What a stupid form of coping.
[–]Interesting_Source16FDS Newbie10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Wow. So, basically he wanted to comfort himself with your vagina. Useless
[–]placemat24FDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Weird to say, but I havent been in a relationship with someone who says physical touch. I always hear quality time (and they actually don't try anything!!!) Normal men on the street are different Im sure.
[–]Interesting_Source16FDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
😂. Which streets? Even on Sesame Street, Oscar jumped out of the garbage can 😒
[–]daisy_0720FDS Disciple0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ironically, I had an ex whose love language genuinely WAS physical touch. He always wanted to hold my hand, give me hugs and forehead kisses and play with my hair. I don't think he'd heard of love languages, he just loved being close to me in an affectionate, non sexual way.
But then, he was unable to say he loved me, so...
[–]anotherdamnloserFDS Newbie167 points168 points169 points 5 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link
Men’s love languages: Manipulation Lying Cheating Abuse Porn Laziness
[–]Accountabili_BuddyFDS Newbie109 points110 points111 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Don’t forget Audacity
[–]__kamikaze__FDS Newbie48 points49 points50 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Also forgot anal 😒
[–]OHIftwFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Harry Potter and then Audacity of this Man
[–]FluffandRaincloudsRuthless Strategist1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
😂😂😂
[–][deleted] 36 points37 points38 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, objectification in all its glory
[–]SpookySparkle7FDS Newbie16 points17 points18 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Don't forget Murder
[–]breadandbunnyFDS Newbie[S] 14 points15 points16 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Manipulate, lie, cheat. Manipulate, lie, cheat. Manipulate, lie, cheat. Manipulate, lie, cheat. Then wonder why women don't like them.
[–]CoffeeBeforeAdultyFDS Newbie14 points15 points16 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
WhY No PrEtTy GuRl WaNNa DaTe MEeeE??
[–]breadandbunnyFDS Newbie[S] 7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I dunno. Maybe something to do with you telling her she's the only one you're with while you're out there fucking 5 other women? I mean, obviously a person wouldn't be upset with you when they find that out! /s
[–]dAoOOoAbThrowaway Account13 points14 points15 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Tell me about it
[–]mlb897FDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
and projection
[–]suspended_animation_FDS Newbie32 points33 points34 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
It's why I don't date either. There's zero incentive
[–]breadandbunnyFDS Newbie[S] 11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I cannot find someone who DOES NOT BEHAVE THIS WAY. Age makes no difference either.
[–]suspended_animation_FDS Newbie18 points19 points20 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It's hopeless. Seems the older they get, the more manipulating they get. I used to be frustrated about it. But these passed six months, I am beginning to not be attracted to men anymore. I don't care what they look like. I just avoid talking to them unless absolutely necessary.
[–]breadandbunnyFDS Newbie[S] 17 points18 points19 points 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
I don't have any reason to talk to them at this point in time because I'm just not in contact with anyone. That may change soon, but I have learned that even in their thirties, an overwhelming multitude of men are still out there lying to try to get what they want from women and it's despicable. One would hope that is something males stop doing after their teen years, that childish behavior like that actually ends at 30+, but nope.
I don't have the patience for it, and I don't understand how a person can be OK with who they are behaving like that, but they're out there. I've seen it.
I literally just don't understand it. I have never put time, energy, serious effort of any kind, into lying to a guy to try to get something from him that I want. Something is psychologically wrong with people who do it.
[–][deleted] 53 points54 points55 points 5 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
For real tho. The five language stuff is always used by manipulative men for some reason. Why is this book so popular also??? Most dudes always talk about "5 languages" and "48 laws of power"... Is it their porn magazines that push these books on repeat or some thing?
[–]pao664FDS Newbie30 points31 points32 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
To be fair, the love languages book is something heavily promoted amoung therapists and is standard reading fare for the newly divorced. And as someone who does express love through touch, you need to be VERY careful with a man. Honestly In terms of FDS, I would say gifts/ acts of service are what you are looking for in a high value man as those are the items that require the most effort on his behalf. Quality time- is natural in a relationship. Words- anyone can say words without action behind them and physical touch- of course men want that because “muh dick”.
[–]super_thinker_FDS Newbie19 points20 points21 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I agree!! Depends how you use it and what you take away from it.
One of the most important things I've taken away from this love language stuff is that, back when I was a huge pick me, my love languages would magically change for every man I was with...
When I took the test as an extremely single and independent post-fds queen, my love language was acts of service (hands down) which I will always hold in the highest regard from now on.
I'll will never starve myself on a measly diet of "quality" time and physical touch ever again.
[–]pickmieshaexorcistFDS Apprentice16 points17 points18 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
“Yeah, you look nice today,” he offered anemically, after I had asked. My first compliment in 5 years.
Past-Me, fanning myself and nearly fainting of the vapors: “Wow thank you! 🥺😩😍”
Words of Affirmation! 🤡
[–]super_thinker_FDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Hahahah awww I've been there too queen. I've been there too 😭
[–][deleted] 14 points15 points16 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I dont know. Therapy has its pros and cons. It helps sometimes from an individualistic POV, but it is so individualistic that the statu quo does not change.
But I agree things like quality time and words seem obvious! It's the foundation of any healthy connection. So I dont see it as a language, nor do I think that these five languages represent all type of affection nor does it address abuse (future faking, stealing time and energy, etc) that come from imbalanced dynamics.
Also I think that women should be challenged to expect more. Sometimes just thinking that "quality time" is enough, might lead you to be the forever gf that gets suddenly ditched and played.
I say all of this because all the men I knew who read this book were all NVM.
Someone who will invest time and gift for you, won't need to read a book to know that they want to make you happy in every way possible imho.
[–]Rough-TreeFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I think that goes to this comment by u/super_thinker_:
I feel like that means he was in a dysfunctional relationship and his ex kept trying to communicate her needs to him without success.
[–]super_thinker_FDS Newbie35 points36 points37 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I came here to say the same thing!
I think it's a red flag when a man is even familiar with the love languages. I feel like that means he was in a dysfunctional relationship and his ex kept trying to communicate her needs to him without success. That's how it was with me and my deadbeat ex anyway.
[–][deleted] 11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Makes sense! Also, I think that it is magazines that push toxic relationships or porn that promote this book. Because I don't think that men read a lot, let alone try to read things that have no link with their interests (ie the objectification of women) which explains why this book is crap. Whatever men choose to read will often be stuff that does not challenge their world views, so whatever platforms keep pushing this book know that it won't fix anything.
After all, if a man is emotionally unavailable, how will a book telling that his love language is "quality time" help his partner whom needs are ignored? It does not seem to lead anywhere and just make men more justified in their behavior (ie "it's just my love language!!")
[–]super_thinker_FDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
SO TRUE.
[–][deleted] 9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago* (12 children) | Copy Link
The fact that this has 1000+ upvotes (SMH) shows what all is going on out there. Let’s not fall for it anymore, ladies!
[–]breadandbunnyFDS Newbie[S] 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
Is it necessarily a bad thing that it has happened so frequently that you don't trust even a HVM?
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
Who knows? I think you would trust if you really knew they were HV. Best to get to know people through shared experience/social circle to really tell who is HV and then decide. Dating randos online. Who thought that one up lol?
[–]breadandbunnyFDS Newbie[S] 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
I don't even date. There's just not currently really a way for me to.
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
I truly think that if we live our lives, go outiside, become happy and as active as we can be, pursue what we love, help others, are open and polite to all (not just singles in our dating range), and accept social invitations, we will be noticed by the right ones. And if not, is that really such a bad life?
[–]breadandbunnyFDS Newbie[S] 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
I do those things. I often end up being too generous to the wrong people. Yeah, people like me at times, but it's never anyone I'm interested in dating. It makes no difference.
It's not a horrible life, but I don't want to be single forever. Nothing I can do about it, unless I go and settle for someone I don't actually want and I'm not going to do that.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
When you are happy alone, your person will find you. Seen it happen a million times. GL!
[–]breadandbunnyFDS Newbie[S] 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
That's nice and fantastical, but I just don't think it happens for some people. They can be kind, happy, do things to occupy themselves, and still end up alone.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I might end up alone. Maybe it's meant to be. But I have never seen trying too hard end well lol.
[–]breadandbunnyFDS Newbie[S] 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
🤷🏿♀️ I sincerely think I'm going to end up alone. Because I just don't want to settle for being with someone I'm not interested in and I don't date. Just isn't anyone where I live that I can find who I want.
[–]Mimory1258 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Everytime a man suggest a "date" arrangement in your house don't ever let them in, it's clearly obvious you'r gonna end up cornered and raped. If men don't make time or want to spend enough money going on a real date with you., what would make you think he thinks highly about you!? Nope. They just want to bang you
...I don't invite strangers into my home. Especially not men.
[–]Mimory1252 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Don't ever do it sis, well if they are family go ahead, but i don't even have male friends because i distrust 90% of them men only get near women with predatory purposes
[–]breadandbunnyFDS Newbie[S] 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I often feel that as well, predatory purposes. I have learned to keep my guard up.
[–]Mimory1252 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
How i learned that? Well maybe because every men who tried to flirt or get with me was married! I have The amazing gift of attracting married or engaged men. I swear every male i attract is somehow engaged or with spouse
[–]frecklesinbostonFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
“You shouldn’t date me if you don’t like ~SaRcASm~” immediate no when a guy has something about sarcasm in his profile. To me it’s like let me make fun of you and you be cool with it
[–]CassieGreen85FDS Apprentice7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Sarcasm = I'm gonna verbally abuse you, neg you, gaslight you, and if you say even ONE word in protest I'm gonna blame it all on you for not liking my "sarcasm."
[–]typeadhdFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
💀💀💀💀
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[–]Interesting_Source16FDS Newbie62 points63 points64 points (9 children) | Copy Link
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