Treated with hostility because I am a young bearded male.

eaglitarian · 2012-09-03T03:56:56+00:00

Ideally, what should have happened is that the staff member should have asked the complainants what the problematic behaviour actually was, and taken the appropriate action (taken a look, seen that you were just there with your gf advising on clothes, and done nothing further). But staff members sometimes don't think that much unless there's a policy.

I would write a letter to the store. I would describe the events, I would describe how it made you feel and I would ask whether their policy is to allow men accompanying women shoppers to sit there while their companions try on clothes, or not. (I doubt they'll say it's against policy, but if they do then they should at least post a sign as it's non-obvious.) Hopefully that should inspire a little staff re-training/thought.

FlaiseSaffron · 2012-09-03T13:01:06+00:00

Refuse to leave? What's the worst that could have happened? Looking at the door to the changing rooms is not illegal, so if the police get called, they would either do nothing or at worst ask you to leave, which is just the same as what already happened. As long as people tolerate this kind of behavior, it will continue happening.

DavidByron · 2012-09-03T14:59:36+00:00

Hey I just saw a black person in your store. They're making me nervous could you please do something about them?

Perhaps you could cross post this in /r/TalesFromRetail because I am wondering about the angle of the employees on this sort of thing. It's basically one customer telling them to kick out another. Fortunately for the employees you decided to not stick up for your rights and saved them a lot of hassle.

chavelah · 2012-09-03T07:32:46+00:00

Yeah, my husband and I had similar trouble when I had my implants.

I (obviously) needed new bras. I couldn't raise my arms above my shoulders, so needed help with trying them on.

The lady at the changeroom was NOT happy about him coming into the changeroom with me, but we didn't back down.

rightsbot · 2012-09-03T03:50:27+00:00

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Whiski · 2012-09-03T14:07:20+00:00

Do you have a mustache? if not i understand

thuddy1855 · 2012-09-03T18:07:00+00:00

Beards. the creepiness badge. I feel ya man.

rottingchrist · 2012-09-03T04:00:36+00:00

member of staff approached me and said that she had received complaints about me being near the female changing rooms and asked me to wait away from the booths (where I would be of no assistance to my girlfriend as a result).

Weird. Because I have been inside changing rooms with my girlfriend (we each know what the other looks like without clothes, so duh) in what is essentially a de-facto Muslim country.

stemgang · 2012-09-03T04:47:48+00:00

Take your business elsewhere. Don't give your money to man-haters.

ErasmusMRA · 2012-09-03T04:07:27+00:00

Dude I get this all the time. Next time tell her to fuck off and make a scene. As long as the GF is okay with this, you will feel better about the situation.

nwz123 · 2012-09-03T21:24:12+00:00

Should have left the store and indicated anti-male bigotry as the reason.

squoit · 2012-09-06T13:03:39+00:00

WTF? What's the "husband chair" for if not for husband/boyfriend to sit in, right outside the changing room?

TheGDBatman · 2012-09-03T09:08:36+00:00

Wow that's really rude of the staff member, you should file a complaint. Tell them the customer is always right and threaten to take this up some equal opportunities shit and play up you had your feelings hurt (if women can do it, I suppose you could try it) and see if you can get your girlfriend to turn on the waterworks at them and guilt trip them into free stuff.

OuiCrudites · 2012-09-03T13:04:41+00:00

I think that through the medias constant barrage of men as pedos and rapists, they have managed to instill genuine fear in the female population. I don't particularly blame females for this because it is a learned and socially reinforced response. I've also found that some females are also very isolated from any understanding of the male population, particularly in academia or academic pursuits.

Comowl · 2012-09-03T14:39:20+00:00

This was not 'an act of discrimination,' it was a case of probably one woman being uncomfortable and self conscious and so she complained to the staff member. This is not an issue where guys are discriminated against because they're guys.

Let me ask you; if a guy complained about a woman being close to the dressing rooms, would that be considered to be discriminatory against women? If the woman refused to leave (as some people on here are suggesting) would you guys jump all over it and say that she feels entitled to stuff and she feels like she can do what she wants because she's a woman? Probably.

GrantNexus · 2012-09-03T15:42:55+00:00

I'm all for men's rights, but you're a whiny bitch.

Title	Treated with hostility because I am a young bearded male.
Author	Doylemetheus
Upvotes	66
Comments	56
Date	September 3, 2012 3:48 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/z9hjz/treated_with_hostility_because_i_am_a_young/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/treated-with-hostility-because-i-am-a-young.1014397 https://theredarchive.com/post/1014397

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