The Opposite Of ‘Man’ Is ‘Boy,’ Not ‘Woman’

roland3337 · 2011-08-27T17:30:18+00:00

Guys, anyone that tries to tell you what a man is or isn't, is trying to manipulate you to fit their purposes.

rantgrrl · 2011-08-27T17:38:02+00:00

Though the act of sex with a woman isn't what does it-what makes a guy a "man" is when his buddies find out.

Women, of course, never virgin-shame inexperienced guys. Nor do they judge them less worthy as sexual partners. Nor do they ever suggest a male virgin is not a man.

It is other men who pressure us to perform "manhood" through feats of bravery, loyalty, and recklessness.

Women, of course, never pressure men to perform "manhood" or hold men up to an impossible standard of agency.

It's telling that the most hurtful way to put down a guy is, invariably, to imply that he is somehow feminized.

Isn't it telling that one of the most hurtful ways to put down a woman is to call her 'manly'?

This explains the rising popularity of the most violent video games, as well as MMA.

-.- You attack MMA? FUCK YOU CHINCHILLA FUCKER!

They think that the opposite of "man" is "woman" and that in order to prove oneself the former they must do (perform) things that no woman can.

A woman can take her identity from the unique things her body can do. But a man can't take his identity from the unique things his body can do.

Gotcha.

Rather, performing manhood is about deliberately choosing to do those things that are fundamentally adult rather than puerile.

I think it's fundamentally adult to decide for yourself what is 'adult' and what is 'purile.'

It's something a woman could do just as well, but when I do it (I've had occasion to do just this a few times in recent years), I feel like a man. Not in the sense that I feel infused with macho bravado, but in the sense that I feel as if I've done something that I couldn't have done in my younger, more self-conscious years.

This is a good point. However it's completely undermined by the fact that Hugo seems to be taking his 'manhood' more from his clothing then his personal integrity. Otherwise he would never have written his appalling 'I shafted another man into taking responsibility for my spawn(maybe) and ran away like a fucking child.'

In fact I think the most impressive thing a man can do and a boy can't is father a child. And by father I mean actually father that child, ie. raise it to be a self-aware, self-regulating, compassionate individual.

ManThoughts · 2011-08-27T16:52:45+00:00

I pity anyone who thinks "I'm going to let Hugo Schwyzer teach me how to be a man."

Bubbascrub · 2011-08-27T19:03:58+00:00

I especially like the part where she says "women go to war". This is entirely false. Women are assigned to specific non-combat roles precisely because women DON'T go to war. When women are placed in active combat zones and placed on the Draft I'll agree.

2011-08-28T00:39:55+00:00

Am I the only one that wonders about the "performativity" of gender? Because when you "perform" a role, you take on a set of characteristics, maybe your own, maybe not, and you perform them. In other words, gender becomes action, becomes costume, becomes conscious choice. Isn't this a bad precedent to be setting with regards to those who believe being gay is just a "choice"?

sjsovx · 2011-08-28T02:12:46+00:00

I live in hip West Los Angeles, where middle-aged fathers famously dress like teenage boys. I'm casual myself on the weekends and vacations, but when I go to teach or to an important meeting, I usually break out a Brooks Brothers suit or blazer. Growing up in my family, business attire from that famous flagship of preppiness was what symbolized adult masculinity. And while I'd like to think I'm a responsible adult whatever I'm wearing, I always feel more grown-up—and yes, more like a man—when I put on something just a bit more formal.

Give me a freaking break. This guys idea of being a man is dressing "preppy".

PierceHarlan · 2011-08-27T13:09:03+00:00

I actually started to read it until I saw who wrote it. I upvote because it is you, but can't waste my time on sensitive men who seem to think most men are Neanderthals and only they can save us.

darkamir · 2011-08-27T14:22:12+00:00

The opposite of a man is hugo S.

I downvoted since I don't want to promote anything written by this castrati.

woobly_schnufflepops · 2011-08-27T15:27:34+00:00

Downvote me if you will, but I think there's something to the author's idea here. I work primarily in domestic violence. I defend guys accused of beating, strangling, confining or otherwise hurting their wives or girlfriends in some way. The issue of domestic violence is a complex topic with no simple cause or solution.

Nevertheless, one heavily recurring theme easily identified in my clients is what I'll call a boyish lack of personal responsibility. Like children you may know, many of them are completely unwilling to admit that their actions have played a role in their situations (usually sitting in jail.) Many are not interested in acquiring work for themselves or supporting their children. They are often selfish and emotional and manipulative in ways that children can be. And, they are often shocked that adult life can carry real consequences. In short, they're boys that we, as a society, have chosen to call men because they're 18 years old or older.

If I had one wish, it would be to somehow show these guys that the universe is not just a thing acting upon them, but that they have the power to change their futures through acts of hard work, determination, love and responsibility. Here, the author seems to be promoting an idea of gender that incorporates these virtues. And if his idea of "manning up" means you have to stop feeling sorry for yourself and take control of your life then, perhaps, this is something that should be supported.

Ma99ie · 2011-08-27T21:15:59+00:00

The opposite of man is Hugo Schwyzer. Sing it out loud, castrati.

breakwater · 2011-08-27T19:40:52+00:00

In a world where women go to war—and play hockey—men who believe that true manliness lies in doing what women can't are forced to create ever more-violent activities from which females can still be excluded. (This explains the rising popularity of the most violent video games, as well as MMA.)

That's so stupid. Really? I thought I liked watching MMA because the fights were exciting. But apparently not. I'm just sticking it to women. The author thinks women can't participate, having never heard of Gina Carano I guess. But when it comes to gender studies, facts have no value.

Gandalv · 2011-08-27T14:40:53+00:00

In the future, just screen capture the article and post to imgur. This way you still get your karma and we aren't contributing to Hugo's articles/pageviews...not to mention NEARLY that entire website.

thetrollking · 2011-08-27T15:38:51+00:00

[permanently deleted]

surfnsound · 2011-08-27T14:41:27+00:00

Women play something that looks like hockey, but it isn't. If you can't check, it's not hockey. It's like saying a hamburger is a t-bone because they're both beef.

daman345 · 2011-08-29T21:55:44+00:00

Since when did nouns have opposites?

YesImSardonic · 2011-08-30T12:42:13+00:00

Within living memory, only men went into combat;

Still fucking true. Women are not shock troops. Women are not front-line infantry.

And women still aren't drafted, either.

In a world where women go to war—and play hockey—men who believe that true manliness lies in doing what women can't are forced to create ever more-violent activities from which females can still be excluded.

...

Because violent sports such as MMA aren't enjoyed by any women, and there have never been any violent sports before women got the vote. Of course, one only need divorce oneself from reality to understand!

2011-08-27T19:19:29+00:00

It's prescriptive and bigoted to say, men do this woman do that, and not meaningful.

thingsarebad · 2011-08-27T17:00:21+00:00

It is other men who pressure us to perform "manhood" through feats of bravery, loyalty, and recklessness.

Of course this mangina believes men are to blame, when actually women have been determining "what makes a man" forever.

Title	The Opposite Of ‘Man’ Is ‘Boy,’ Not ‘Woman’
Author	thetrollking
Upvotes	21
Comments	54
Date	August 27, 2011 12:53 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/jw2r9/the_opposite_of_man_is_boy_not_woman/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/the-opposite-of-man-is-boy-not-woman.1035339 https://theredarchive.com/post/1035339

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