A friend and I had a conversation recently that changed the way I think. I made the point to him that just as he and I sat there with beers chatting, people of various races were socializing and integrating as if there are no races, and online any racial boundaries are dissolved by anonymity. "Therefore," I said naively, "racism is dead and those who say otherwise are milking it for social superiority."

His answer surprised me. "I thought you were a scientist, or what do you call it? Empiricist?"

You know that "you've got to be kidding me" face used in some rage comics? Yeah, you know the one...

"There is no way for you, as an individual, to test whether racism is still a problem for us because you're not black." He could see I was about to call him on making a racist argument... "Hold on, hold on, let me finish. If you were black, you'd know because racist people would target you personally. But since you're not, you can't test whether someone is racist."

"Well, I know when it comes to people I know..."

"Do you?" He interrupted. "If they know you, they know to not be racist in front of you."

"But strangers don't do it either."

"Don't they?" He had a perfect troll face here, I swear. "Would you notice? Would you be the one to feel the dirty looks, suspicious stares, or deal with unfairness? Do you really pay that much attention to strangers' conversations or business?"

He made a point. I can't say with certainty that no racism exists against black people because I can't directly test it and it would be impractical to test indirectly. I have to rely on studies and hearsay.

This makes me think, though. We men can't say there is no sexism against women if we're not women. Similarly, women can't say we suffer no ill effects of either Feminism nor sexism because they can not test it directly.

Up to now, I've felt that the Men's Rights movement is necessary as a counterbalance to Feminism, and I still do, but... Well, it would be much better if we had neither Men's Rights nor Feminism, but rather a movement of egalitarian people of BOTH genders who work together to look out for each other and ensure that sexism is defeated for both.

Without that cooperation, BOTH movements are doomed to become wrong at some level because they exclude their own perspective from those with inverse genital geometry -- the exact thing both movements try to defeat is thus embraced by both implicitly.

The only questions are, how could such a movement even begin and stay on track? And, without such a movement will Men's Rights and Feminism be doomed to dance forever, always correcting each other while making new mistakes? If so then cue the meta relationship jokes both movements will be subject to sooner or later...