Men feeling entitled to touch you?

Fetia_ · 2021-01-15T22:54:35+00:00

The next time he grabs at you, jerk away and show visibly you are not okay with it. You don’t need to be polite, moments like that it’s valid to make a scene or be rude.

BabyGothQ · 2021-01-15T23:51:49+00:00

It’s not a “you” problem, but when someone is obviously not doing something to be mean or malicious, it makes it 100x harder to confront that behavior because we tend to only feel comfortable confronting people who are being obviously out of line.

This is a simple boundary exercise.

Next time he goes to grab your hands (if you want to maintain the relationship) let him, but when he’s done admiring them, pull away and say “hey, thanks for the compliments :) I always look forward to them when I get my nails done. But would you stop grabbing at me like a fresh copy of Cosmo?? I’m not a fan of being paw-ed at.”

If you don’t care about maintaining the relationship, don’t even let him physically touch you. Do the move that girls do when they don’t want to be kissed - move slightly out of sync so they miss you. If you want to make it more impactful, move like you were startled then look at them like 👀

Then say: “woah was that you touching me? Please don’t do that, especially without asking.”

kiki_do_u_luv_me · 2021-01-15T21:44:05+00:00

Basically I’m asking, is this a me problem? Or is this a them problem? I do not experience this with women. Do you need consent for platonic touch?

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2021-01-16T05:02:05+00:00

I think that you have a problem with your boundaries. You don't need to state that you're okay with physical touch before saying you're not okay with some random man touching you. Those aren't the same at all. Men don't get to touch you. Start glaring at him.

sstena · 2021-01-15T23:28:08+00:00

Since this is work, how do you feel about exhausting the least confrontational strategies first?

He might not be interested in women and just want to make friends, or he might be unaware of personal space as most men are, or he might be doing it to make you uncomfortable and throw you off balance. Who knows? Not me.

If you think he may be doing it with good intentions, let him know it upsets you when people touch you. And that you're happy to discuss the clothes or manicure without touching (and then you simply don't discuss anything, you just say this to get him on your side without a confrontation).

If you think he may be doing it on purpose, or you feel like you can't handle the situation, you can try HR. Keep a calm and collected demeanor, mention you know he means well, but you do not take physical contact well (no need to explain further).

Many people have a natural tendency to touch others and that's fine (assuming he is actually doing it innocently). It is also fine to not want to be touched and say so.

Work can turn into a big headache with these things so all my best wishes to you handling the situation.

Repulsive-Ad1092 · 2021-01-16T08:47:42+00:00

Tell him that you dont want to catch covid

Title	Men feeling entitled to touch you?
Author	kiki_do_u_luv_me
Upvotes	69
Comments	10
Date	January 15, 2021 9:38 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askFDS
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/AskFDS/comments/ky4jea/men_feeling_entitled_to_touch_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askFDS/men-feeling-entitled-to-touch-you.1059766 https://theredarchive.com/post/1059766

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