Started a discussion about whether or not men when going to the doctor are asked if they are feeling safe in their relationships. Not surprised but still disappointed by the responses

DialecticSkeptic · 2021-07-24T08:20:56+00:00

When you go to the doctor, does anyone ever ask if you feel safe in your relationship?

Not ever, not even indirectly.

2021-07-24T07:56:10+00:00

Yup this is just more gynocentric/Duluth model stuff. Terrible. We’ve been gaslit when it comes to domestic violence women beat and rape men just as much as the opposite

Magos00110001 · 2021-07-24T07:39:46+00:00

When I was a minor I got asked questions about feeling safe at home. I don’t think I have been asked since.

dudeness-aberdeen · 2021-07-24T12:48:17+00:00

No. Not ever. I’m 43 years old and have never been asked that by anyone, let alone a medical professional. I do get asked about my guns and wether or not I have thoughts of harming myself or others pretty routinely.

LettuceBeGrateful · 2021-07-24T12:40:23+00:00

I think in California obligated to now. I was asked the same questions about my mental health and whether I was a victim of DV every time I went to the doctor.

Jazzlike-Parsley-566 · 2021-07-24T16:53:46+00:00

I never even considered whether someone would ask this...

griii2 · 2021-07-24T21:27:02+00:00

What would be the point? A coples therapist told me and my abusivne wife that a man can not be abused by a woman. (Europe)

dontpet · 2021-07-24T20:59:00+00:00

The issue of men not receiving this screening is compounded by how infrequently men need a doctor between ages 14 and 40.

A similar situation exists for men's experience of historic sexual abuse. Very few men have that question put to them at any point, or see something that prompts their personal reflection on this issue.

I've run a counselling service serving men for the past 7 years and we ask that question of every man on intake. We have about one in three to one in four that disclose something has happened like that. And that question gets them talking to their counselor about the issue.

Otherwise, it likely wouldn't come up in counselling. And the man would have missed out on a good opportunity to get to the core of their recovery.

Mad_Hatter_92 · 2021-07-24T17:17:43+00:00

I’d have to be in a relationship for them to ask me that.

foobar93 · 2021-07-24T18:33:29+00:00

Never but to be honest, my relationship status was also virtually never discussed.

lolokinx · 2021-07-24T18:44:48+00:00

No but I’m one of those guys not really affected by this. But thank you for that post I read trough it and I have to say it is super cool that you care for that. Honestly thanks 🙏

SpicyMarshmellow · 2021-07-25T05:31:13+00:00

No.

And further, I was in an abusive marriage for 20 years that deeply effected our child. They've been diabetic since age 4, so has been to the doctor much more than the average kid. Signs that something wasn't right at home should have been evident to hospital staff for years. Child had obvious emotional issues, complained about mom, and mom never showed up to appointments. There was never any questioning.

When my kid became suicidal at age 14, I finally broached the topic with them. I talked about how abusive she was, and explained how it was effecting our kid. What support did we get? The doctor got a social worker, who talked with us for a few minutes, gave me phone #s for a few lawyers, and told me to seek therapy for both of us. That's it. Not even any advice on managing the situation.

Algoresball · 2021-07-27T20:05:24+00:00

Never been asked that. Not as an adult and not as a child

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