I want to get a new therapist, but how do I ask them what their views are on men and how they should be treated?

HonestCrow · 2020-08-22T13:02:17+00:00

Therapist here - When I am with a client, I definitely have a “work hat” that I am wearing, and it applies to nearly all our interactions. If a client asked me, “what are your opinions on men?” (or some similarly weighty political topic), my very first curiosities would be about how the question reflected their needs, fears, and other reasons why people seek out a therapist. A discussion about gender politics can be very fun, but it’s not why people seek out therapists, nor is it what therapy accomplishes at its best.

Many good therapists will want to know about your previous experiences with therapy and therapists, and will not be threatened by those experiences. We’ll want know how therapy was successful in the past, and how it failed equally. The best metaphor I can think of at the moment is a brain teaser - you are bringing us a conundrum you’re struggling with, and the therapeutic relationship is the logical tool we have to unravel it.

In short, if you are concerned about how your therapist views gender relations, the first thing the most responsible of us will do is ask, “why is that important to you?” It may leave you feeling a bit frustrated to have a question answered with another question, 95/100 it really is the best therapeutic course of action. If you want to do the work beforehand, have an answer to that questioned prepared, and then evaluate how focused the therapist remains on your needs and objectives for therapy in the ensuing moments.

I hope that helps.

duhhhh · 2020-08-22T14:26:48+00:00

I suggest you go in planning on firing a couple after a few sessions. In my personal experience, talking to friends, and from what I've seen online...

A third of therapists suck and do more harm than good.
A third are good, but not right for the problem or personalities involved.
A third are hugely life changing for the better.

Know that going in. Know they work for you. Know if you aren't getting the service you need, you should find another provider.

adam-l · 2020-08-22T14:01:04+00:00

Read what Tom Golden has to say about it.

8 out of 10 psychologists generally suck, and maybe 9 out of 10 are feminist, so it's difficult.

I'm no expert, but Lacan seems to be "Red Pilled" so his opinion on Lacan might be indicative. You probably have to "fish" the answer out of him, as the therapist's reply in the comments indicates. Then again, Lacan is psychoanalyst, and psychoanalysis is built about female talk rather than male do, so you don't want that.

defo18 · 2020-08-23T03:18:54+00:00

It's Tricky as I had a female therapist that was very supportive but not in a more enlightened way that I think she should have

She kept telling me that men should be able to express themselves and open themselves up but I found her if she meant that literally or men only opening up at the benefit of women.

To be a man has to be trapped in a sequence of contradictions that never end and it's almost torture.

You're expected to be superhuman even though our intellectual mind tells us that's impossible and all our peers male or female should know it but it's still persists.

yoshi_win · 2020-08-22T12:00:29+00:00

Did you have a bad experience with another therapist who hated men? Telling this story is one way to explain your preference.

dontpet · 2020-08-23T04:13:20+00:00

I run a counseling service for men, with about 20 counselors.

You are right to want a counselor that won't get caught in their gender politics at a critical point in your relationship with them. I can give you a number of examples outside my service where that happened.

The counselor probably would have a hard time slipping out of role to do that. And if they did, like most of us they believe they know the right thing, which might be quite the opposite of your opinion.

You are much better off asking other men to suggest a counselor.

IntactBroadSword · 2020-08-22T15:21:33+00:00

Pointless. They are trained to hate men and feed you drugs

SonnBaz · 2020-08-22T13:15:11+00:00

Ask them whether they think men should be allowed to cry and should men have more mental health support.

leftwingrightwingall · 2020-08-22T11:12:52+00:00

I advise against therapy. Psychology is a very unproven science with shaky foundations. What can a therapist reveal about yourself that you cannot do? I feel it's a growing fad and a bandaid for loneliness in society.

Title	I want to get a new therapist, but how do I ask them what their views are on men and how they should be treated?
Author	justqnotherthrowaway
Upvotes	40
Comments	29
Date	August 22, 2020 10:56 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/comments/ieghi9/i_want_to_get_a_new_therapist_but_how_do_i_ask/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/i-want-to-get-a-new-therapist-but-how-do-i-ask.1062928 https://theredarchive.com/post/1062928

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