(I hope it's ok to post this here) I am feeling directionless and I was hoping that someone here could help me with resources relating to dealing with trauma.

2019-12-10T09:51:34+00:00

Maybe you need to talk to a male therapist specifically, if you haven't already?

Forgetaboutthelonely · 2019-12-11T03:42:09+00:00

A lot of the shitty advice that tells men that the only thing they need to do to fix their problems is to open up emotionally is just that.

Shitty advice. It doesn't work for a lot of men because they DO know how to open up. But they've been met with the same sort of problems when they do.

your problems are valid. you were abused by a woman in your life. You were arrested because of feminist influence in the law. and you felt powerless to help yourself because it's entrenched deeply within the legal system. Men CANNOT be abused. Women cannot be abusers. That's how feminist theory works. and sure, Some feminists may disagree. But if they don't, they need to understand that this is what they're supporting by calling themselves a feminist.

I think you should try to talk to a male therapist. OR just with a variety. Be upfront. And word your issues in the exact way you've worded them here.

You feel hurt and victimized by women and systems you feel favor them. If your therapist does not allow you to talk about this. Fuck em. Move on.

AskingToFeminists · 2019-12-10T11:29:28+00:00

I am somewhat familiar with the field of psychology, without being trained in it. From what I know, there are two kinds of therapies that work very well with trauma : EMDR and CBT. I' your case, CBT seems better indicated, as the goal is to train the patient to learn how to deal by themselves with their issues. It is something that depends a lot about how committed you are to making it work, because it takes work on your own, without therapist. But given that you seem very committed to getting better, and that the main issue you have is that you struggle to find a therapist that would be understanding, that seems rather like a positive aspect.

Look for books on how to deal with trauma in CBT. I couldn't give you more specific advice because all the resources I know or could have access to are in french. But I think you will find things that could help you.

SirSourPuss · 2019-12-10T12:24:53+00:00

Check out Richard Grannon for a start.

ExcellentTraffic123 · 2019-12-10T15:38:01+00:00

r/cptsd is a wonderful resource for those who have experienced trauma.

Halafax · 2019-12-11T02:55:54+00:00

I grew up in a family that did not encourage me to be stoic or emotionless, so I am pretty good at expressing myself, but every resource I find online just talks about how guys need to learn to open up to deal with trauma, or it's a trauma resource catered towards women.

Been there, done that.

What my issue is, is that my current trauma revolves around something very political and touchy, and I'm honestly just terrified of trying to bring it up and getting pounded with political opinions.

I saw three therapist before I found one that that didn't actively (and intentionally) make things worse. Even then, it wasn't a great fit, it just wasn't harmful. Finding a good therapist as a man with an experience society rejects is extremely difficult. The bias saturates therapy, from the people who choose that line of work, to the educators that teach it, to the organizations that employ the therapists.

I had better results with higher levels of education, find a PhD whatever their focus is. Do some research about the kinds of therapy offered, know what you are looking for. I also had better results with very experienced practioners. Inexperienced therapists are dangerous.

A good therapist isn't going to give you their opinion, they're going to make you define and examine/refine your own. This has good and bad points. Honestly, I suspect I might have done better initially with a life coach or social worker. When things were very bad, I needed outside opinions and advice, not yet more introspection. But once I was past the worst of the worst, therapy helped.

mewacketergi · 2019-12-13T13:38:06+00:00

Hello there u/steamedhamjob.

I feel for you when it comes to fear of ideology permeating practice of psychology... One approach I would recommend from personal experience is that if you feel you may need to get help, you probably shouldn't entirely avoid seeking it because of this concern, -- clinicians who put ethics and professionalism above their politics certainly do exist, and I believe it's possible to find one.

I don't know where you are geographically, or what your situation is like financially, but in your shoes I would try finding a specialist through an association like UK's Male Psychology Network (https://malepsychology.org.uk), or National Coalition For Men (https://ncfm.org); hell, maybe even write to these guys and ask for a recommendation.

Best of luck to you. Hope this helps!

Strikester101 · 2019-12-10T11:57:06+00:00

What did your psychologists do?

Title	(I hope it's ok to post this here) I am feeling directionless and I was hoping that someone here could help me with resources relating to dealing with trauma.
Author	steamedhamjob
Upvotes	22
Comments	11
Date	December 10, 2019 8:21 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/comments/e8ny33/i_hope_its_ok_to_post_this_here_i_am_feeling/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/i-hope-its-ok-to-post-this-here-i-am-feeling.1064315 https://theredarchive.com/post/1064315

Comments