Here are some tips and approaches that I've found useful in the last year and a half. Let me know what you think.

In my experience, the pinnacle of sexual strategy is the long term relationship or ongoing fling. Plate spinning is also a robust, valid practice--but comes with its own significant downsides. Tinder game and cold-approach, to me, is not where you want to be exerting your effort. It’s a necessary evil. It’s the ground level. It sucks. This post will largely apply to men spinning plates or in long term relationships.

Make a point to have sex every time you see her

The value of man’s protection, concern, understanding, frame, fun, and general auric presence is most naturally evoked in the context of a relationship of which sex plays a major, almost dominating role. In a certain sense, there is a transaction dynamic occurring, though this model has its shortcomings.

As a general rule, every time you see her, fuck her (obvious exceptions aside). Oftentimes, especially for guys past their 20s, there isn’t that undying horniness that makes that happen. You have to initiate it. Even if you’re not turned on, begin foreplay and the process itself will turn you on. You sometimes have to get the ball rolling. You will thank yourself. This kind of advice may not apply to men who don’t get laid often.

Having sex 3 times a week is a good benchmark for what I would consider to be a robust, above-average frequency. From what I've read, the average American adult does it once a week. To me, there is something satisfying about registering at exponentially above-average in certain quantitative metrics.

Take the Coconut Pill

Liquid coconut oil is awesome. Use it liberally during foreplay and sex. It makes everything better. I can’t explain why or how. It just makes everything gooey and slippery. It also assists with duration-extension. I recommend giving it a try.

Respect the importance of foreplay

Your mileage may vary, but I suggest 20 minutes of foreplay prior to intercourse. As a general guideline, consider doing 10 minutes of two different kinds: blowjob, fingering while making out, 69, handjob while making out, etc. Foreplay is important. Do not skimp on it.

Use delay lubricant condoms

Durex offers a great delay lubricant condom. They allow you to penetrate harder and longer without approaching climax so quickly. I strongly recommend looking at them if you want to extend the duration of your sessions but struggle with staving off the big O. Using delay lubricant condoms have helped me extend the average duration of intercourse to 20+ minutes. The average, FWIW, is apparently 5.5.

Practice intermittent semen retention

Most of you have probably heard of semen retention. Many of you are probably not only skeptical, but bewildered as to how anyone could possibly enjoy sex without ejaculation. Nothing I can say to you here will convince you of the value of this practice except to add my personal experience to the accumulating body of anecdotal reports that it is life-changing. That is not an overstatement.

Retention will keep you horny. It increases your general drive, awareness, clarity, confidence, sense of self-power, and joy. Do not engage in semen retention without a consistent fitness and meditation regime. The excess energy needs to be managed and refined or else it will turn into unskillful mental states.

No matter how often you have sex, try to ejaculate no more than once per week. If that practice does not provide benefits, try once or twice per month. Different men in different age brackets will accumulate benefits from this practice on different time tables.

Shoot for ~45 minutes of sexual activity

To continue my general suggestion regarding duration, I suggest trying to engage in 20+ minutes of penetrative intercourse after ~20 minutes of foreplay. Similar to foreplay, I suggest using two 10-minute positions. Missionary, cowgirl, and doggy are the most intuitive and enjoyable IMO. For doggy, face a large mirror.

Understand the value of rhythm and bounce

You must try to erase every concept of love-making that you’ve received from porn. Fucking is about rhythm and bounce. Pay close attention to the sort of momentum pendulum dynamics that arise in the process of sex. Capture them and maximize them. I think that the difference between awkwardly moving back and forth and engaging in an almost dance-like flow is intuitive, but difficult to describe. Pay attention to these dynamics and use them to create a well-oiled experience that resembles an exhaustive athletic activity.

Consider sober sex

Alcohol does not ruin sex, but the belief that alcohol or drugs improves or optimizes sex in any way can be a limiting belief. If you have the idea in your head that sober sex is boring or unoptimal, delete it. On the whole, drugs do not improve the sex experience.

This is obviously not a comprehensive approach to this topic--just a report on what approaches I’ve found useful. I’m open to any criticism or feedback.